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"A silly idea; any attempt to name and shame would probably be met with a ban... it's not good forum etiquette..." correct tit for tat would spring up. | |||
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"Fed up with dreamer's and fantasists... it's getting worse... something needs to be done.... anyone else feel the same???" It's so frustrating. Ghosting or no replies I can deal with, it's the guys who arrange a meet, including date and time and then go silent, no-show or block without any notice / warning. | |||
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"Fed up with dreamer's and fantasists... it's getting worse... something needs to be done.... anyone else feel the same???" You can't name and shame, it's against the site rules. Let's be honest, this crap happens in all aspects of Apps and sites - gay, bi or straight. People are people, you just need to accept it's part of this game. Also, let's account for the scared newbie, when I first started out I lost my bottle and deleted my account after making plans to meet someone. I felt really bad after it, but at that time (2014), I just couldn't get myself to meet that person. There are always those looking for wank bank, want to know what you'd do to them when they get there etc. That's your first clue for a dreamer; we just say see what happens at the meet. They either leave you alone as they can't get what they want, or make the meet. | |||
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"It'll never happen but there should be a system implemented where you both agree to a meet and then whether the meet took place or not is recorded. If you cancel "x" times in "y" period or with then it shows on your profile." That has been suggested many many times, who would adjudicate that? How would that person know if you were telling the truth about the no show, or bitter as the meet wasn't what you expected. All very subjective, no one, other than the people that plan the meet, will know if it happened of not. | |||
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"For newbie’s it can be nerve wracking and I myself bottled my first couple of meets as I’m a bi married guy , but when I did meet I was shaking like a leaf , then when the guy blew me , the only thing shaking was my legs xx" No excuse for not giving notice and being honest though. It's still frustrating but a lot better when you say "sorry I can't meet now" rather than just leaving people waiting. You have to treat people the way you would expect to be treated. | |||
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"Open to abuse. I had one guy who had already met me at my house and suck his cock swap a couple of messages with him one day and when I said I couldn't meet that day gave me a load of abuse, called me a time waster and blocked me. Things can happen, people can get cold feet and back out or just change their mind. It's life. Just get on with it and stop bitching" It's not bitching when you've made time available, prepared, tidied house and maybe declined other offers or plans and then you wait and nobody turns up. Height of narcissism to behave that way and completely unacceptable. Yes people can change their mind, but they should let others know ASAP, to behave any other way is narcissistic and potentially even psychopathic. People need to know that this type of behaviour is not acceptable. | |||
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"Open to abuse. I had one guy who had already met me at my house and suck his cock swap a couple of messages with him one day and when I said I couldn't meet that day gave me a load of abuse, called me a time waster and blocked me. Things can happen, people can get cold feet and back out or just change their mind. It's life. Just get on with it and stop bitching It's not bitching when you've made time available, prepared, tidied house and maybe declined other offers or plans and then you wait and nobody turns up. Height of narcissism to behave that way and completely unacceptable. Yes people can change their mind, but they should let others know ASAP, to behave any other way is narcissistic and potentially even psychopathic. People need to know that this type of behaviour is not acceptable." No what is narcissistic is people believing that they should be the centre of everybody's Universe and everything revolves around them. People should be more considerate and behave less like arseholes, but they don't. Walls of Shame and outing people is way out of order as it can be used by people who are pissed of that you have turned them down or anything. You could put anything up about anyone just to be petty and peevish. You could say you fucked someone and they gave you syphillis even if you haven't been anywhere near them. Stupid idea. | |||
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"Open to abuse. I had one guy who had already met me at my house and suck his cock swap a couple of messages with him one day and when I said I couldn't meet that day gave me a load of abuse, called me a time waster and blocked me. Things can happen, people can get cold feet and back out or just change their mind. It's life. Just get on with it and stop bitching It's not bitching when you've made time available, prepared, tidied house and maybe declined other offers or plans and then you wait and nobody turns up. Height of narcissism to behave that way and completely unacceptable. Yes people can change their mind, but they should let others know ASAP, to behave any other way is narcissistic and potentially even psychopathic. People need to know that this type of behaviour is not acceptable. No what is narcissistic is people believing that they should be the centre of everybody's Universe and everything revolves around them. People should be more considerate and behave less like arseholes, but they don't. Walls of Shame and outing people is way out of order as it can be used by people who are pissed of that you have turned them down or anything. You could put anything up about anyone just to be petty and peevish. You could say you fucked someone and they gave you syphillis even if you haven't been anywhere near them. Stupid idea." What are you talking about? Treating people like objects (when they haven't asked to be treated this way) and arranging a meet and then not turning up and not even bothering to let them know is quite literally the definition of 'expecting the universe to revolve around yourself'. Basically acting as if the time, effort and feelings of others doesn't matter, only your needs / wants etc. Definitely a lot of narcissists on this thread getting upset over being called out over their crappy behaviour. Keep at it and we won't need a wall of shame as you're effectively 'outing' yourselves as sel_ish time wasters here.  | |||
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"Open to abuse. I had one guy who had already met me at my house and suck his cock swap a couple of messages with him one day and when I said I couldn't meet that day gave me a load of abuse, called me a time waster and blocked me. Things can happen, people can get cold feet and back out or just change their mind. It's life. Just get on with it and stop bitching It's not bitching when you've made time available, prepared, tidied house and maybe declined other offers or plans and then you wait and nobody turns up. Height of narcissism to behave that way and completely unacceptable. Yes people can change their mind, but they should let others know ASAP, to behave any other way is narcissistic and potentially even psychopathic. People need to know that this type of behaviour is not acceptable. No what is narcissistic is people believing that they should be the centre of everybody's Universe and everything revolves around them. People should be more considerate and behave less like arseholes, but they don't. Walls of Shame and outing people is way out of order as it can be used by people who are pissed of that you have turned them down or anything. You could put anything up about anyone just to be petty and peevish. You could say you fucked someone and they gave you syphillis even if you haven't been anywhere near them. Stupid idea. What are you talking about? Treating people like objects (when they haven't asked to be treated this way) and arranging a meet and then not turning up and not even bothering to let them know is quite literally the definition of 'expecting the universe to revolve around yourself'. Basically acting as if the time, effort and feelings of others doesn't matter, only your needs / wants etc. Definitely a lot of narcissists on this thread getting upset over being called out over their crappy behaviour. Keep at it and we won't need a wall of shame as you're effectively 'outing' yourselves as sel_ish time wasters here. "I think you need to switch to Decaf. People are people, you can't remove the human element of this game. Nerves, panic and all the other elements that bring about no shows remain an issue for many. Most of us just accept it for what it is, it's not isolated to here, again, it's human nature. The reality is, you can't stop the photo collectors, the wank bank collectors, and all the other things that are negative about this game - it is exactly that. Spend your energy on finding someone to have a decent session(s) with, ignore the wasters and no shows, their loss. You have only lost time, not money, blood or anything that can't be lost - TIME. Little dramatic to lose your shit over someone dipping out on you. | |||
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"Open to abuse. I had one guy who had already met me at my house and suck his cock swap a couple of messages with him one day and when I said I couldn't meet that day gave me a load of abuse, called me a time waster and blocked me. Things can happen, people can get cold feet and back out or just change their mind. It's life. Just get on with it and stop bitching It's not bitching when you've made time available, prepared, tidied house and maybe declined other offers or plans and then you wait and nobody turns up. Height of narcissism to behave that way and completely unacceptable. Yes people can change their mind, but they should let others know ASAP, to behave any other way is narcissistic and potentially even psychopathic. People need to know that this type of behaviour is not acceptable. No what is narcissistic is people believing that they should be the centre of everybody's Universe and everything revolves around them. People should be more considerate and behave less like arseholes, but they don't. Walls of Shame and outing people is way out of order as it can be used by people who are pissed of that you have turned them down or anything. You could put anything up about anyone just to be petty and peevish. You could say you fucked someone and they gave you syphillis even if you haven't been anywhere near them. Stupid idea. What are you talking about? Treating people like objects (when they haven't asked to be treated this way) and arranging a meet and then not turning up and not even bothering to let them know is quite literally the definition of 'expecting the universe to revolve around yourself'. Basically acting as if the time, effort and feelings of others doesn't matter, only your needs / wants etc. Definitely a lot of narcissists on this thread getting upset over being called out over their crappy behaviour. Keep at it and we won't need a wall of shame as you're effectively 'outing' yourselves as sel_ish time wasters here.
I think you need to switch to Decaf.
People are people, you can't remove the human element of this game. Nerves, panic and all the other elements that bring about no shows remain an issue for many. Most of us just accept it for what it is, it's not isolated to here, again, it's human nature.
The reality is, you can't stop the photo collectors, the wank bank collectors, and all the other things that are negative about this game - it is exactly that. Spend your energy on finding someone to have a decent session(s) with, ignore the wasters and no shows, their loss. You have only lost time, not money, blood or anything that can't be lost - TIME. Little dramatic to lose your shit over someone dipping out on you."In your opinion, which is your own. Also, time is money to many of us. Plus you have a partner, so it's not the same for you. | |||
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"Plus you have a partner, so it's not the same for you. "Sorry, it's exactly the same. We have a life off of here, so we plan a meet. We have normally set aside time and plans to accommodate a bit of fun. If that falls through for whatever reason, it still has an impact on us. We just don't lose our mind over it, it is part and parcel of the casual side of sex whatever the orientation. It's completely unrealistic to expect all plans to happen on a shag site/App. As for time is money, you're either charging or planning your meets when they will have an impact on you financially. That's not the best way to plan your meets - there should be no money lost, just time, if your time has a cost implication - you need to plan meets when it won't. | |||
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" Plus you have a partner, so it's not the same for you. "On a much different note, you have an amazing arse - my fav' pic is you in the kily, phhwarr. Shame you don't live closer, you certainly wouldn't have your time wasted!!  | |||
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"Open to abuse. I had one guy who had already met me at my house and suck his cock swap a couple of messages with him one day and when I said I couldn't meet that day gave me a load of abuse, called me a time waster and blocked me. Things can happen, people can get cold feet and back out or just change their mind. It's life. Just get on with it and stop bitching It's not bitching when you've made time available, prepared, tidied house and maybe declined other offers or plans and then you wait and nobody turns up. Height of narcissism to behave that way and completely unacceptable. Yes people can change their mind, but they should let others know ASAP, to behave any other way is narcissistic and potentially even psychopathic. People need to know that this type of behaviour is not acceptable. No what is narcissistic is people believing that they should be the centre of everybody's Universe and everything revolves around them. People should be more considerate and behave less like arseholes, but they don't. Walls of Shame and outing people is way out of order as it can be used by people who are pissed of that you have turned them down or anything. You could put anything up about anyone just to be petty and peevish. You could say you fucked someone and they gave you syphillis even if you haven't been anywhere near them. Stupid idea. What are you talking about? Treating people like objects (when they haven't asked to be treated this way) and arranging a meet and then not turning up and not even bothering to let them know is quite literally the definition of 'expecting the universe to revolve around yourself'. Basically acting as if the time, effort and feelings of others doesn't matter, only your needs / wants etc. Definitely a lot of narcissists on this thread getting upset over being called out over their crappy behaviour. Keep at it and we won't need a wall of shame as you're effectively 'outing' yourselves as sel_ish time wasters here. "Well said  | |||
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"Fed up with dreamer's and fantasists... it's getting worse... something needs to be done.... anyone else feel the same???" Just a point of interest, why are you so bothered about people letting you down, your last verification was 5 years ago. Surely you've not been played along for the last 5 years? | |||
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"I rarely get let down, but it happens, and some of those have been genuine reasons as I've given a few a second chance and they turned up. If the messages are long and detailed chances are they are time wasters. I have had to let the odd meet down at very short notice due to one of my kids being sick at school. Should I be named and shamed?" That is true what you said the long stream of messages never lead to a meet | |||
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"Fed up with dreamer's and fantasists... it's getting worse... something needs to be done.... anyone else feel the same??? Just a point of interest, why are you so bothered about people letting you down, your last verification was 5 years ago. Surely you've not been played along for the last 5 years?" I've been let down and actually spent money getting taxis to locations and then ghosted...75quid there and back... I know a wall of shame would be a stupid thing to do, but it's created some good conversation.... I have met some really lovely people on here who are now friends I see regularly... I love it.... I just get really annoyed with it sometimes though,the forum post was just abit of frustration x | |||
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"Fed up with dreamer's and fantasists... it's getting worse... something needs to be done.... anyone else feel the same??? Just a point of interest, why are you so bothered about people letting you down, your last verification was 5 years ago. Surely you've not been played along for the last 5 years? I've been let down and actually spent money getting taxis to locations and then ghosted...75quid there and back... I know a wall of shame would be a stupid thing to do, but it's created some good conversation.... I have met some really lovely people on here who are now friends I see regularly... I love it.... I just get really annoyed with it sometimes though,the forum post was just abit of frustration x" We never do anything like that, as soon as travel and crap is involved, we're out. As you've seen, people can be too flighty, which is why we won't travel to people, we only accommodate. I appreciate that not everyone can, but people need to use their own risk controls for that very reason. £75 for a dud.... just keep money and distance to reasonable levels, far too many reasons to drop out without notice, or deleting profiles. | |||
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"I rarely get let down, but it happens, and some of those have been genuine reasons as I've given a few a second chance and they turned up. If the messages are long and detailed chances are they are time wasters. I have had to let the odd meet down at very short notice due to one of my kids being sick at school. Should I be named and shamed?" if you tell them then it's not a problem really but it's the no shows the guy's that say they will turn but don't and make a excuse but like you said just block and move on | |||
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