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By *ayjay40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Post your jokes below guys let's all have a laugh

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By *speedoMan
over a year ago

eastbourne

Mikey mouse filed for divorce from Minnie Mouse. The judge said ‘Mr Mouse, Im afraid I can’t grant a divorce on the grounds that Minnie has protruding front teeth’ to which Mikey replied ‘but your Honor, I didn’t say she had protruding front teeth, I said she was fucking goofy’

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By *uupfouritMan
over a year ago

Nr CHeltenham

Snow white has been banned from panto, she was found sitting on Pinnochio's face saying tell me a lie, tell me the truth, tell me a lie, tell me the truth

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By *rTongueTasticMan
over a year ago

Close_To_Chichester

Both very good..thankyou

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By *ameyCoolMan
over a year ago

West Byfleet. Woking,

Please keep them coming guys lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Patient: Doctor help me, I've got Hermes.

Doctor: Don't you mean Herpes.

Patient: No, I'm just a carrier.

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By *rTongueTasticMan
over a year ago

Close_To_Chichester

After Tuesday, even the calendar goes WTF..

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By *otonsuckerMan
over a year ago

southampton

A guy walked into a bar and said to the barmaid “I’d like a sexual innuendo please”.

So the barmaid gave him one.

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By *uupfouritMan
over a year ago

Nr CHeltenham

A guy goes to tattoo parlour and asked for I LOVE YOU to be put on his dick. That night goes to bed with his partner undresses and points to his dick and says look what I have done for you. His partner looks at his dick and says There you go again putting words into my mouth...

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By *rTongueTasticMan
over a year ago

Close_To_Chichester

PMPL&LMAO..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Donald Trump met with the Queen of England, and he asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"

"Well," replied the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Trump frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around you are really intelligent?"

The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."

The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Boris Johnson in here, would you?"

The Prime Minster walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?"

The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this, if you would, Boris. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, he answered, "That would be me."

"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.

Trump went back home to ask Mike Pence the same question. “ Mike, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," said Pence. "Let me get back to you on that one." He went to his advisers and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.

Finally, Pence ran in to his friend Jack Murphy in a restaurant the next night. Pence asked, "Jack, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Jack Murphy answered right back, "That's easy, it's me!"

Pence smiled, and said, "Thanks!"

Pence then went back to speak with Trump. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle: It's my friend Jack Murphy!"

Trump got up, stomped over to Pence, and angrily yelled, "No, you idiot! It's Boris Johnson!"

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By *rTongueTasticMan
over a year ago

Close_To_Chichester

The best yet!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Donald Trump met with the Queen of England, and he asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"

"Well," replied the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Trump frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around you are really intelligent?"

The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."

The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Boris Johnson in here, would you?"

The Prime Minster walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?"

The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this, if you would, Boris. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, he answered, "That would be me."

"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.

Trump went back home to ask Mike Pence the same question. “ Mike, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," said Pence. "Let me get back to you on that one." He went to his advisers and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.

Finally, Pence ran in to his friend Jack Murphy in a restaurant the next night. Pence asked, "Jack, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Jack Murphy answered right back, "That's easy, it's me!"

Pence smiled, and said, "Thanks!"

Pence then went back to speak with Trump. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle: It's my friend Jack Murphy!"

Trump got up, stomped over to Pence, and angrily yelled, "No, you idiot! It's Boris Johnson!""

Very good man

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By *andy biMan
over a year ago

Greenford

Love it

Please keep them coming

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By *opNotch!Man
over a year ago

Harlow

How do you fit four bottom guys onto a bar stool?

Turn it upside down.

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By *oannacd70TV/TS
over a year ago

worcester

Dwarf was down street comes acroos a prostitute. How much for sex he says £30 so he agreed off the go to her place. He opens his bag and places 2 springs on his knees and 2 springs on his elbow.. He starts fucking her. She wa multiple orgasm. And thanks him. What do you call that she says. Its the 4 spring dwarf technique

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer and a mop.

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By *om169Man
over a year ago

Nuneaton

My grandad went down in history.

He also fingered someone in geography!!!

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By *rTongueTasticMan
over a year ago

Close_To_Chichester


"Dwarf was down street comes acroos a prostitute. How much for sex he says £30 so he agreed off the go to her place. He opens his bag and places 2 springs on his knees and 2 springs on his elbow.. He starts fucking her. She wa multiple orgasm. And thanks him. What do you call that she says. Its the 4 spring dwarf technique"

Very good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw a man running down the street.

I said ‘Pretending to be superman?’

‘No I haven’t got the money for the barbers’ he shouted back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone asked me what my ringtone was?

Pinky brown

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By *opNotch!Man
over a year ago

Harlow

Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel.

When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial.

After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned to his new partner and said, "Wow! This is the very best sex I've had in years! I wonder how the girls are doing?"

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By *rTongueTasticMan
over a year ago

Close_To_Chichester

Like it..

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By *andy biMan
over a year ago

Greenford


"Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel.

When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial.

After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned to his new partner and said, "Wow! This is the very best sex I've had in years! I wonder how the girls are doing?""

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By *lokeFaceMan
over a year ago

Shepperton

OK - try this one. A man went to a hooker and said i want it really kinky tonight - wanna shove my Big Toe up there. OK says the hooker, and they get on with.

Three days later the guy is sitting in the GU clinic. It's his turn to be called in for a check up and he says he thinks he has VD of the Big Toe.

The doctor says " my my my, what a strange morning ". I've just had some woman in here with Athletes Cunt.

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By *harlie115Man
over a year ago

tameside

For years I thought the wife had tourettes but seems she really did want me to fuck off.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

I knew a woman who had a phantom pregnancy. She did not have a bun in the oven. She faked a bake.

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By *rownriverMan
7 days ago

Crawley

A woman in the musical South Pacific sang about washing a man right out of her hair.

The man’s name was Dan Druff.

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
7 days ago

Bedford

Wife in the kitchen reading a cook book, i said why you reading that you can't cook?.

She looked at me and said same reason you read at porn. X

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By *oannacd70TV/TS
7 days ago

worcester

What do u call a one eyed dinosaur.thinkhesawus . What u call a one eyes dinosaurs dog thinkhesaurus rex

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By *rownriverMan
7 days ago

Crawley

Met an old school chum yesterday & he told me that he was now a man of the cloth.

“I didn’t have you down for a vicar” I said.

He said: “I’m not, I’m a window cleaner.”

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