FabGuys.com forum: Jokes people

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'll start cos my Henry hoover jokes are bangers.

How is Henry Hoover like a child? You try to get him to do something but he ends up rolling on the floor laughing.

What's the difference between Henry Hoover and a child? When they play a prank you make them stand in a corner but Henry's prank is not going around a corner.

Who won the race between the Housekeeper and Henry Hoover? The Housekeeper, obviously, Henry ate their dust.

Adopt a Henry Hoover: SALE NOW ON: Get Henry for half price, then get James cos he needs a brother and Henry obviously needs a girlfriend so get Henrietta too and reunite Henry with his long lost identical twin by buying another Henry! Pretty soon you will have one f*cked up family but you will have the cleanest carpets.

Did you hear about the Henry Hoover who got fired from his job? He sucked so bad at it.

Did you hear about the Henry Hoover who turned prozzy? Always a service with a smile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before.

The first man signed to his friend, "My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into trouble."

The second deaf man signed back, "Boy you're lucky. My wife was wide awake, waiting for me in bed, and she started swearing at me and giving me hell for being out so late."

The first deaf man asked, "So, what did you do?"

The second man replied, "I turned out the light.”

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By *ishman62Man
over a year ago

Crewe

Classic joke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've got to go to the post office later...apparently the postman knocked on the door yesterday with a registered letter.

If he had used his knuckles we might have heard him!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you were born after 1980, you probably won’t get this.

Back in the 1950’s, the Japanese decided to enter the automobile market. They built a fuel efficient car, but couldn’t think of a name for it.

Knowing that Germany had been in the automotive industry for years, they employed a German ad agency to come up with a name.

When the president of the ad agency explained the situation to his employees, he said (pardon me for butchering the German dialect)

“Ve haben ein grosse problem. Ve must come up mit der name fir dis neu automobil in der next veek .”

The employees were all shocked at the short deadline, and they replied in unison,

“Dat soon?”

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By *rownriverMan
3 weeks ago

Crawley

When should you go at red and stop at green? When eating a watermelon.

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By *ust4inchesMan
3 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

"If you were born after 1980, you probably won’t get this.

Back in the 1950’s, the Japanese decided to enter the automobile market. They built a fuel efficient car, but couldn’t think of a name for it.

Knowing that Germany had been in the automotive industry for years, they employed a German ad agency to come up with a name.

When the president of the ad agency explained the situation to his employees, he said (pardon me for butchering the German dialect)

“Ve haben ein grosse problem. Ve must come up mit der name fir dis neu automobil in der next veek .”

The employees were all shocked at the short deadline, and they replied in unison,

“Dat soon?”

Why would the German president of the agency be talking to his German employees in English with a German accent?

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By *rownriverMan
3 weeks ago

Crawley

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so I would be in ur hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that u were a newspapers so I could have a new one everyday.

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