FabGuys.com forum: Funny comedy one liners.

By *k44 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Somerset

Thought I'd start a light hearted thread using Comedy one liners it can be from any TV comedy to any comedian you may like. I'll start the ball rolling.

"I liberated Port Stanley Tesco you know"

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By *ebeccaHallTVTV/TS
11 weeks ago

BECKENHAM

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

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By *ebeccaHallTVTV/TS
11 weeks ago

BECKENHAM

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it it’s probably shit.

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By *onybluenailsMan
11 weeks ago

Crawley

Took a dyslexic bird home last night from the pub and she ended up cooking my sock!

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By *izzmagMan
11 weeks ago

Perth

Old MacDonald was dyslexic...o e i e a

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By *eams1Man
11 weeks ago

Romford

People used to laugh at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well they're not laughing now.

Bob Monkhouse

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By *h22cdTV/TS
11 weeks ago

BH22

I went to buy a Christmas tree the other day. The man asked if I was going to put it up myself. I said “No. The living room”

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By *ames TownMan
11 weeks ago

Bingley

I was in Sainsbury's today, and the lady in front of me was packing her shopping.

She suddenly collapsed to the floor and died.

It was heartbreaking. She had just bought a "bag for life."

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By *otjustlooking75Man
11 weeks ago

Prestwick

He's not going to sell much ice cream going at that speed, is he?

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By *k44 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Somerset

How does a pedophile tell the time? When the big hand touches the little one.

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By *ustin_CMan
11 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

Anyone who says that onions are the only vegetable to make you cry has never been hit in the face with a turnip

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By *amie1402Man
11 weeks ago

Merseyside

[Removed by poster at 23/10/24 10:28:57]

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By *amie1402Man
11 weeks ago

Merseyside

I’m not scared of death. I just don’t want to be around when it happens.

Woody Allen

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By *amie1402Man
11 weeks ago

Merseyside

Sex without love is an empty experience.

But as empty experiences go it’s one of the best.

Woody Allen.

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By *k44 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Somerset

I dont mind vegetables it's when they start dribbling that I draw the line.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

A pint! That's practically an arm full!

Tony Hancock:The Blood Donor.

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By *k44 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Somerset

"fick erf, you sad pastic winker"

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By *arrie cardieTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Southampton

Infamy,infamy, they've all got it in for me.

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By *ames TownMan
11 weeks ago

Bingley

The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer.

“Lookin for cheap flights” I replied.

She got all excited, which is odd as she's never shown an interest in darts before.

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By *obbie300Man
11 weeks ago

BANGOR Co Down

Did you hear about the blind skunk that married a fart

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Bedford

Wouldn't say my wife is fat but wherever I go I'm near her xxx

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By *ountainMan
11 weeks ago

ipswich

Don't tell him Pike.

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By *inaCD66TV/TS
11 weeks ago

Wimbledon

Just like that

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By *entleoneMan
11 weeks ago

near heathrow

"Fletcher, fill this!"

"From here?"

Ronnie Barker, in Poridge

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By *raveheart1Man
11 weeks ago

Central Belt Area

Went to doctors and said I felt like a pair curtains!

He said for gods sake pull yourself together man

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Bedford

Del boy to trigger

Got a new broom trig

Ttrig no ive had it years its only had 5 new heads and four new handles xxx

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By *k44 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Somerset

"Why do women have legs?, so there feet don't smell of pussy"

Roy Chubby Brown

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By *hiteroseMan
11 weeks ago

Neverwhere

""Fletcher, fill this!"

"From here?"

Ronnie Barker, in Poridge

"With these feet?"

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By *k44 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Somerset

"what's the cleverest thing to come out of a women's mouth? Einsteins cock"

Roy Chubby Brown

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By *q oralistMan
11 weeks ago

Torquay

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away" especially if you catch him on the forehead with it.

Told that to two doctors, one fell about laughing, the other just gave me a filthy look.

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By *ade60Man
11 weeks ago

Workington

"You're so dim you couldn't shit into your hands if they were sewn onto your arsehole."

Sentence in book i'm reading

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By *abottomMan
11 weeks ago

Towcester

What a fabulous day to go up and knock on the Kremlin front door and ask is Len in ?

Ken Dodd 🤣🤣

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Bedford

Said to wife why you reading a cook book you can't cook . She said well same reason you look at porn and you can't fuck. Xxx

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By *eepeter4Man
11 weeks ago

Bournemouth

I sent our Uncle Knobhead out to the green grocer the other day to buy 2 very small cabbages, he came back with 2 Brussel sprouts

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By *onybluenailsMan
11 weeks ago

Crawley

Why was the cat sitting on the computer?

Because it wanted to keep a close watch on the mouse!

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Bedford

I was round a mates house the dog was licking its balls ,I said I wish I could do that ,mate said give him a biscuit he might let you xxx

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By *ickSeekerMan
11 weeks ago

Canterbury

Does my wife scream loud when fucking? You bet she does. I can hear her all the way from the pub

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By *etterbiggerMan
11 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

My wife asked me to get our gay ginger son ready for his first day at school.

I beat him up and stole his lunch money

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

Men are like toilets -

either engaged or full of shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

Bus wankers!!!

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By *ig D2023Man
11 weeks ago

Burnley

One soup….and another - soup.

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By *icksterMan
11 weeks ago

paisley

What do blackpool donkeys get for their lunch 45 minutes the same as everyone else

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By *onMan
11 weeks ago

South Shore Blackpool.

I've just sold my vacuum cleaner, it was only gathering dust.

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By *icksterMan
11 weeks ago

paisley

Went to the doctors with a large strawberry growing on the side of my head. He gave me some cream for it

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By *onybluenailsMan
11 weeks ago

Crawley

I'm pleased to announce I have hit my target and lost 10st of ugly fat.

My divorce came through this morning

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By *liceCDTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Hatfield

You’re name will also go on zee list what is it ??

Don’t tell him Pike

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By *onybluenailsMan
11 weeks ago

Crawley

A fella in the bar asked me what it's like to be married.

I said, "Amaze."

He asked, "You mean amazing?"

I replied, "No, I mean it's hard to get out of."

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By *ickSeekerMan
11 weeks ago

Canterbury

My wife and i were very happy the first 25 years. Then we met.

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By *akedhunterMan
11 weeks ago

Edgbaston

"You started it". "You invaded Poland!"

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By *alm_one4Man
11 weeks ago

RM16

Trigger

It's Mozart's Concerto in D Major. It's the karaoke version.

Nearly wet myself at that one!

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By *entletouchMan
11 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I had to get rid of my hoover.

It was just gathering dust

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By *entletouchMan
11 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Hedgehogs!!!

Why can't they just share the hedge?

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Bedford

Was shagging a girl she was breathing hard and saying please stop. Thought I was a super stud ,then she told me she was having an asthma attack xxx

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By *opmaster62Man
11 weeks ago

Edinburgh

If you scream in a library you get told to be quiet but try it on a plane everyone joins in

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By *ickSeekerMan
11 weeks ago

Canterbury

[Removed by poster at 24/10/24 16:52:23]

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By *ickSeekerMan
11 weeks ago

Canterbury

Big-bosomed girl having a chest examination at doctor's:

'Big breaths'

'Yeth, and I'm only thickthteen'

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By *ountainMan
11 weeks ago

ipswich

I AM playing all the right notes

But perhaps not in the right order.

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By *onameyetMan
11 weeks ago

chorley

He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel

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By *edfunkMan
11 weeks ago

STOCKPORT

I’ve had to get rid of my alarm clock

It kept waking me up !!

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By *awsMan
11 weeks ago

Raynes Park

He’s mad! he’s mad! He’s madder then mad Jack Mcmad, the winner of last years Mr Madman competition

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

"You're all individuals"

"I'm not"

Life of Brian

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

"I hear you're a racist now father"..

Father Ted

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By *ichey6Man
11 weeks ago

aberdeen

Stephen Hawking- Brainier than Kurt Cobain's Garage.

(Frankie Boyle)

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

Where would we be without soap and water ?

France..

Simpsons..

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By *lder bottomMan
11 weeks ago

Stockport

"Sex without love is an empty experience.

But as empty experiences go it’s one of the best.

Woody Allen. "

If sex isn't dirty, you're not doing it right.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

"Lois,if God wanted me not to sleep with my wife,he would have made me John Travolta "

Family guy

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 24/10/24 21:18:33]

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

When the Mother in law visits...the mice throw themselves on the traps..

Les Dawson

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By *ylesburybiMan
11 weeks ago

Aylesbury

I told the wife when I die I want to be cremated. It’s the only chance I’ll get to have a smoking hot body !!

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By *aregay31Man
11 weeks ago

Marchwood Southampton

Listen very carefully I shall say this only once

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By *hin white dukeMan
11 weeks ago

North Tyneside

I wanted to become a Satanist, but I'm rubbish at geometry and accidentally became Jewish.

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By *amTV/TS
11 weeks ago

tesside

Two Ronnie's fork handles

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By *eepeter4Man
11 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Doctor said are you or have you been a Practising Homosexual

Fletcher reply what with these feet who will have me (Porridge)

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By *eepeter4Man
11 weeks ago

Bournemouth

[Removed by poster at 24/10/24 21:36:20]

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By *aregay31Man
11 weeks ago

Marchwood Southampton

I took elocution lessons. I used to say feck off now I say that's nice

Brandon o carol aka Mrs brown

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By *lder bottomMan
11 weeks ago

Stockport

Stupid boy - Dad's Army

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By *eepeter4Man
11 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Someone wrote on the toilet door (cottage) Mother made me a Homosexual

Some wrote underneath the message if I send your mother some wool can she make me one

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By *airyScot40Man
11 weeks ago

Glasgow

Mrs Merton (Caroline Aherne) to Debbie McGee.

“What first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?”

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

"Mrs Merton (Caroline Aherne) to Debbie McGee.

“What first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?”"
.

Can't remember which survey, but that got best interview question ever asked on tv..

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By *eepeter4Man
11 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Family Fortunes when one of the contestants give a funny answer and Les Dennis would say if that answer is on the board I will give you the money myself,

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By *ungbum40Man
11 weeks ago

York

‘I’m no gynaecologist but I know a cunt when I see one’

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By *ungbum40Man
11 weeks ago

York

[Removed by poster at 24/10/24 22:10:58]

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By *ungbum40Man
11 weeks ago

York

Okey Cokie pig in a pokey, good morning jobseekers

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By *eepeter4Man
11 weeks ago

Bournemouth

"Okey Cokie pig in a pokey, good morning jobseekers"
One of my favourite comedy (league of gentlemen)Royston Vassy

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By *eepeter4Man
11 weeks ago

Bournemouth

A classic one liner in Coronation Street

Stan says to Hilda what does that lipstick taste of

Hilda replied Women Stanley Women

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By *50xxxMan
11 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Just the one dear !

Edinas mother in ab fab

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

...but I'm telling you the plot......

Cupid Stunt( Kenny Everett)

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By *eepeter4Man
11 weeks ago

Bournemouth

True news story The Only Public House called the Smokers inn in England went up in smoke yesterday (23/10) (Plumley near Northwich)

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By *issingloverMan
11 weeks ago

Sth Mc/r

"True news story The Only Public House called the Smokers inn in England went up in smoke yesterday (23/10) (Plumley near Northwich) "

That’s not far from me….it was a lovely pub 😱

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By *issingloverMan
11 weeks ago

Sth Mc/r

Don’t tell him Pike

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By *eepeter4Man
11 weeks ago

Bournemouth

"True news story The Only Public House called the Smokers inn in England went up in smoke yesterday (23/10) (Plumley near Northwich)

That’s not far from me….it was a lovely pub 😱"

apparently it over 427 year old this year (1597)

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By *umquietlyMan
11 weeks ago

Deux Sevres

Just the one dear !

Edinas mother in ab fab.

Wasn't that Mrs Wembly in On The Up

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By *issingloverMan
11 weeks ago

Sth Mc/r

"True news story The Only Public House called the Smokers inn in England went up in smoke yesterday (23/10) (Plumley near Northwich)

That’s not far from me….it was a lovely pub 😱

apparently it over 427 year old this year (1597) "

Wow

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By *ickSeekerMan
11 weeks ago

Canterbury

- The most difficult part of our marriage was the first 20 years. Then things got better.

- Counselling?

- Divorce.

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By *dibearMan
11 weeks ago

Edinburgh

"Just the one dear !

Edinas mother in ab fab.

Wasn't that Mrs Wembly in On The Up"

Think Mrs Wembly related to having a drink

There’s a bit more to the Ab Fab one;

Inside of me there’s a thin person trying to get out

To which the mother asks ‘just the one dear?’

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By *eepeter4Man
11 weeks ago

Bournemouth

I thought this was funny and a bit cruel.but a Police officer from the Leicestershire Constabulary got dismissed from the force for nicking toilet paper from her Station she worked in

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By *ootsockMan
11 weeks ago

Earl's Court, London

"What could be more continental than waking up to a bidet full of steaming hot coffee" [Spike Milligan]

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By *onybluenailsMan
11 weeks ago

Crawley

Women are finally being allowed to join the SAS.

And about time as well.

There's no way all those brave lads should be cooking their own meals.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

Ooohh you are awful..but I like you

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By *onameyetMan
11 weeks ago

chorley

Why is there only one monopolies commission?

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By *evanianMan
11 weeks ago

Sir y Fflint - Gogledd Cymru

The penis is clearly designed to fit in the anus, if it was designed for vaginal penetration it would look like an axe!

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By *k44 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Somerset

"I haven't got time to grow a beard", (shocked facial expression) "Thats not a beard! I hope he's cleaned his teeth"

The Joy of Sex - Richard Richard - Bottom.

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By *00nMan
11 weeks ago

Rugby

I try to say "mucho" when I'm around my Spanish friends... it means a lot to them

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By *ottom-4nsaMan
11 weeks ago

Poole

In later life I knew I had annoyed my Dad whenever he replied "I should have fired you into a condom"

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By *aregay31Man
11 weeks ago

Marchwood Southampton

What a plonker

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By *onybluenailsMan
11 weeks ago

Crawley

My cousin just inherited his family’s dairy farm.

That makes him the dairy heir.

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By *eepeter4Man
11 weeks ago

Bournemouth

I think Norman Collier (Wheeltapper and Shutters ) was doing the horse racing commentary at Doncaster today(25/10) as the racecourse commentator had trouble with his microphone

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By *alking HeadMan
11 weeks ago

Bolton

I can't see you obviously, but I bet you're all wearing smashing blouses!

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

A man in the house is worth two in the street.

Mae West

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

You know, if I weren't so refind, I'd beat the crap outta ya

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

"I try to say "mucho" when I'm around my Spanish friends... it means a lot to them"

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By *k44 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Somerset

"I can't see you obviously, but I bet you're all wearing smashing blouses!"

"I'm the Duke of Kidderminster and extremely rich"

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Bedford

Said to wife go put your coat on, she said are we going out. I said no but I am and the heating is going off. XXX Aa well good night one and all xxx

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By *abbersMan
11 weeks ago

somewhere in Kent

My Arse.Jim Royale.

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By *addy7x6Man
11 weeks ago

High Wycombe

Met a busty milf in the pub years back. Norma Stitz.

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By *orkDefenderMan
11 weeks ago

Wakefield

"Thought I'd start a light hearted thread using Comedy one liners it can be from any TV comedy to any comedian you may like. I'll start the ball rolling.

"I liberated Port Stanley Tesco you know" "

Rik Mayall in first episode of ‘Bottom’

Wasn’t Robert Llewelyn of Red Dwarf (& Scrapheap Challenge) also in the same episode

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By *rizzlerMan
11 weeks ago

Nth Lincs

When I go, I want to go in my sleep like my grandad....not screaming like the passengers in his car!!

Spike Milligan

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By *DC2000Man
11 weeks ago

Coningsby

"Just the one dear !

Edinas mother in ab fab.

Wasn't that Mrs Wembly in On The Up"

No, definitely Abfab, Eddie's mother, it's one of my all time favourites and I've used it (and admitted it's not my line).

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By *astDevonGuyMan
11 weeks ago

East Devon

"Just the one dear !

Edinas mother in ab fab.

Wasn't that Mrs Wembly in On The Up

No, definitely Abfab, Eddie's mother, it's one of my all time favourites and I've used it (and admitted it's not my line)."

Mrs Wembly’s line was “ just a small one”

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By *q oralistMan
8 weeks ago

Torquay

Indian guy in first class compartment, the silver service comes around and the attendant says 'You for Coffee?" the guy replies "No, you fuckoffee, I got first class ticket !

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By *itherneitherTV/TS
8 weeks ago

Burnham on sea

"I loved him like a brother in law"

While consoling his sister after whacking her husband.

The Sopranos

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By *eepeter4Man
8 weeks ago

Bournemouth

"Indian guy in first class compartment, the silver service comes around and the attendant says 'You for Coffee?" the guy replies "No, you fuckoffee, I got first class ticket !"
👎👎👎👎

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By *ntj69Man
8 weeks ago

eastbourne

Ready to order, sir?

Two Soups?

Coming right up....

😂😂😂

Victoria Wood writing, with Julie Walters acting. Comedy Gold.

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By *eefandfurMan
8 weeks ago

Edinburgh

These are small. The ones outside are far away.

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By *ibblefishMan
8 weeks ago

louthish

I just shagged a bloke with arthritis, cracking body!

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By *w5kerriTV/TS
8 weeks ago

Hornsey

"Thought I'd start a light hearted thread using Comedy one liners it can be from any TV comedy to any comedian you may like. I'll start the ball rolling.

"I liberated Port Stanley Tesco you know" "

A very white Steve Martin’s opening line in The Jerk: “I was born a poor black child…”

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By *heekymikeMan
8 weeks ago

Stockport

This is very serious, the Gestapo are only insured third party.

Allo, Allo

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By *entleoneMan
8 weeks ago

near heathrow

2 men standing on a bridge having a piss, 1st man said to 2nd man with a smile on his face, "god the water is cold today!"

2nd man replys "yeah, and it's deep!"

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By *k44 OP Man
7 weeks ago

Somerset

"Thought I'd start a light hearted thread using Comedy one liners it can be from any TV comedy to any comedian you may like. I'll start the ball rolling.

"I liberated Port Stanley Tesco you know"

Rik Mayall in first episode of ‘Bottom’

Wasn’t Robert Llewelyn of Red Dwarf (& Scrapheap Challenge) also in the same episode "

Yes he had to Yomp to goose green

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By *ustin_CMan
7 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

I have been accused of plagiarism. Their words, not mine.

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By *immy48Man
7 weeks ago

Sheerness

He's not the messiah he's a very naughty boy

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

"I don't believe in Astrology...so I suppose I'm a typical Virgo"..

Stephen Fry..

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By *ustOneBearCouple (MM)
7 weeks ago

Luton

I took my husband up the shitter the other day.

Funny name for a pub

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By *DC2000Man
7 weeks ago

Coningsby

"A thought's just crossed my mind..."

"Not a long journey!"

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By *thleticSensualMan
7 weeks ago

town

My mate is on the dole right now. You could say he is a friend with benefits.

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By *rTongueTasticMan
7 weeks ago

Close_To_Chichester

"He's not the messiah he's a very naughty boy "

There are some great lines in 'the life of Brian '.. thanks OP for this thread..

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By *evanianMan
7 weeks ago

Sir y Fflint - Gogledd Cymru

[Removed by poster at 20/11/24 01:27:59]

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By *lderbttmMan
7 weeks ago

Inverness

"Infamy,infamy, they've all got it in for me."
that's one of my favourite quotes.

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By *icksterMan
7 weeks ago

paisley

Uncle Albert only fools says Elsie partridge is a medium delboy quick as a flash picks up dress and says well that would fit her a treat

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By *BZ 7519Man
7 weeks ago

Renfrewshire,Glasgow , Edinburgh (when visiting)

Not from a comedy but from stand by me : suck my fat one river Phoenix replied suck my fat one lechance yep it's the biggest one in 4 counties

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

To Eric Morecambe in a live interview..

" What would you be if not comedians"?..

.Eric Morecambe... " Mike and Bernie Winters"..

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

When I went to America I really got into the culture..

A shopkeeper said

"Have a nice day"..

I didn't, so I sued him...!

Milton Jones

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

If God wanted me not to sleep with my wife he would have made me John Travolta.....

Family guy.

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By *yle1912Man
7 weeks ago

Burnley

"My wife's gone on holiday to the carribbean".

"Jamaica?"

"No, she went of her own accord"

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

I tend to sleep in the nude.. it isn't a bad thing except maybe on those long haul flights....

Bob Monkhouse

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By *ometimesAnnaTV/TS
7 weeks ago

Worcester

There was a 737 outside the bedroom door this morning. Left the landing light on last night.

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By *lderbttmMan
7 weeks ago

Inverness

Groucho to Chico, reading a contract, This is the sanity clause. Chico, You can't a fool me, there ain't no Sanity Clause.

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By *ambi4uMan
7 weeks ago

Saint Helens

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries

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By *k44 OP Man
7 weeks ago

Somerset

I went to the pub the other week and stood at the bar and this beautiful Thai girl walked in she was stunning, red dress, olive skin, nice slim figure, big breasts and as she approached the bar in my direction I thought to myself please don't get an erection! BUT SHE DID!

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By *h22cdTV/TS
2 weeks ago

BH22

Reinvigorating for a Christmas theme…

I went to buy a real Christmas tree last week. The man asked if I was going to put it up myself.

“No.” I said. “The living room”.

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By *elenaCDTV/TS
2 weeks ago

In the sticks Somerset

"Good Moaning, I was pissing by ze door"

Officer Crabtree, Allo Allo

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By *oger54Man
2 weeks ago

Grimsby

What's the difference between 'Oooh!' and 'Aaah!'?

About three inches.

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By *ickSeekerMan
2 weeks ago

Canterbury

Mother extolling her obnoxious sprog's virtues

-this kid is very clever

-ah

-So terribly smart...

-really?

-...and highly-strung

-He should be

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By *uperpieMan
2 weeks ago

Sheffield

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and also, you have their shoes.” —Jack Handey

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By *ever000Man
2 weeks ago

beccles

She's colour blind

Really ?

Yes she can't tell red from blue

She tottered into a brothel thinking it was a police station

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By *issycumslut10TV/TS
2 weeks ago

Luton

Met one of my 1st girlfriends in Boots when I was buying condoms, “which ones ?” She asked.

“X X X X X L please”, I replied. She was so impressed, we agreed to go for a date that night.

Imagine her disappointment later that evening, when she discovered I had a St St St St Stutter !

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By *ersredMan
2 weeks ago

Liverpool

United fans everywhere, "We're back!"

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By *SAOFMan
2 weeks ago

Rotherhithe

Every priest is a physicist on the PM December 24th - with a collection of Higgs Bosons. After all they can’t have Christmas Mass without them.

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By *eepeter4Man
2 weeks ago

Bournemouth

A Lancashire man and a Yorkshire man walking down the road and see a £50 note on the footpath so they diside to fight for it while they were fighting for it ,A Women called Rachel from Account's calmly picked it off the floor and walked off with it in the direction of Whitehall with it

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By *arriedbiMan
2 weeks ago

Aldershot

"I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries"

Classic monty python the holy grail awsome

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By *haron1701ETV/TS
2 weeks ago

Southport

"Anyone who says that onions are the only vegetable to make you cry has never been hit in the face with a turnip "

Not a one liner (sorry) but cant resist replying with this:

Just been to the hospital to see poor uncle Jim

'cos somebody threw a tomato at him

Now tomatoes are juicy and don't hurt the skin

But this fucker did, it was still in the tin....😉

I'll get my coat

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By *k44 OP Man
1 week ago

Somerset

"what's that smell? Is it dog, is it cow, no it's bullshit" Del Boy to Mickey Pearce

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By *oycasebriskMan
1 week ago

Market Rasen

You miss your mother so much then smell my god damn fingers

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By *innianMan
1 week ago

Thurso

Irish Rabbit though Pubic Hair was his cousin.

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By *d seekerMan
1 week ago

Skelmersdale

[Removed by poster at 29/12/24 20:33:12]

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By *d seekerMan
1 week ago

Skelmersdale

Smell my cheese you mother

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By *parky8691Man
1 week ago

Crediton Area

Cooking Fat? That's a funny name for a cat.

I'm sure I heard the Caretaker call it that.

Carry on Loving.

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