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Slang you have heard over the years to describe masturbating

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By *976BeardedMan OP   Man
47 weeks ago

Essex / London

I’ll start with the obvious

Five knuckle shuffle

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By *reameggMan
47 weeks ago

angus & dundee

Ham shank.

As in, I'm away to have a ham shank

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By *ave1212Man
47 weeks ago

cleethorpes

Choking the chicken

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By *urreyWant2SuckMan
47 weeks ago

Haslemere

Spanking the 🙉

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By *lueoscarMan
47 weeks ago

alfreton/chesterfield

Knocking one out

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By *inimee1Man
47 weeks ago

near

Bashing the bishop

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By *tar33Man
47 weeks ago

North London (outer)

A date with five-fingered Mary.

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By *976BeardedMan OP   Man
47 weeks ago

Essex / London


"Knocking one out"
my fav

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Saying hello to Madame Palm and her five lovely daughters

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By *heshireguy69.Man
47 weeks ago

Northwich

Tommy tank or a jodrell

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By *altyStarfishMan
47 weeks ago

Biting the pillow

Playing the blue vein flute

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By *now manMan
47 weeks ago

near

Stroking the big fella (not so big in my case)

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By *inaCD66TV/TS
47 weeks ago

Wimbledon

A harlem shuffel .

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

One off the wrist.

To have a J Arthur (Rank, one for us oldies).

To DIY.

To make love to your best friend.

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By *over40Man
47 weeks ago

aberdeen

A Sherman (tank)

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By *ersaDomMan
47 weeks ago

Oldham

Hand job

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By *raig_KJMan
47 weeks ago

Southport

A Tug

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Tugging your plums

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Barcleys Bank

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By *veregebottomEdinMan
47 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Away for a chug

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By *lan82Man
47 weeks ago

North Hykeham, Lincoln

“Saying ‘hi’ to my monster”

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Stroke one's salami.

Strangling the snake.

Shake the creamer.

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By *R6guyMan
47 weeks ago

Worcs

Shake hands with the unemployed

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By *ananabrumMan
47 weeks ago

castle bromwich

Jerkin your gherkin

Whisking eggs

Choking the chicken

Tommy Tank

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By *976BeardedMan OP   Man
47 weeks ago

Essex / London


"Shake hands with the unemployed "
hehehe

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By *odger300Man
47 weeks ago

Inverurie

Jerking off pulling the plonker (with a condom on ) posh wank hand job

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By *iscreetly100Man
47 weeks ago

lancashire

Willy wanking!...😂

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By *eskmenCouple (MM)
47 weeks ago

Liverpool

Fetching.

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By *eskmenCouple (MM)
47 weeks ago

Liverpool

[Removed by poster at 16/02/25 20:21:17]

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By *arina.TV/TS
47 weeks ago

Kinkston Upon Hole

Ragging the Nadger 🌭

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By *onnyd26Man
47 weeks ago

Mitcham

The Dutch rudder - i hold my cock and get you to hold my forearm and move it up and down

The double Dutch rudder - same thing only we're doing it to each other moving each other's forearm

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
47 weeks ago

Bedford

Beating the meat xxx

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By *acingfanMan
47 weeks ago

Huddersfield

Tommy tanking

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By *aldyballs9Man
47 weeks ago

Santryish

Peddle and crank.

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By *orny101Man
47 weeks ago

anytown

Tossing off

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By *weet LisaTV/TS
47 weeks ago

Crawley

Hand shandy.

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By *addy7x6Man
47 weeks ago

High Wycombe

Knob job.

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By *hubbyGayTraffordMan
47 weeks ago

Stretford

Mother Fist

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By *evanianMan
47 weeks ago

Sir y Fflint - Gogledd Cymru

"Harry 'n Frank"

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By *ayPonty1Man
47 weeks ago

Pontypridd

Flogging the log

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By *ature_1Man
47 weeks ago

Ipswich

Well I'm doing all of the above now xx

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By *976BeardedMan OP   Man
47 weeks ago

Essex / London


"Jerking off pulling the plonker (with a condom on ) posh wank hand job "
haha

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By *auleasthull1Man
47 weeks ago

hull

Thrap one off !

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By *astDevonGuyMan
47 weeks ago

East Devon

Going for a J Arthur ( Rank )

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago


"Saying hello to Madame Palm and her five lovely daughters"

Rosie Palm and her five daughters from a guy who had 4 digits on his hand

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By *raig_KJMan
47 weeks ago

Southport

Crack one off

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By *ertbottomMan
47 weeks ago

ramsgate

One translated from the French: the widow’s fist. Often used with a suitable hand gesture to tell other drivers what you think of their skills.

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By *ichey6Man
47 weeks ago

aberdeen

Chugging

Dirty Water Unloaded

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By *ruemaleMan
47 weeks ago

notts

Rubbing your tootoo

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By *wplaytimeMan
47 weeks ago

Cyprus/ Wirral

Thomas the Tank

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By *ecretGayGuyMan
47 weeks ago

Barnsley

Magicking the Beans (throwback to the old Nescafé Coffee adverts) 🤣

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Slapping the salami

Beating you're meat

And a favourite already mentioned

I'm off to have a Tommy tank 😋

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By *hristine_JTV/TS
47 weeks ago

Anglesey

Glopping

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By *ichey6Man
47 weeks ago

aberdeen

Getting jizzy with it...

🤔

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By *iggreenockMan
47 weeks ago

Greenock

Cuffing the chimp.

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By *owalskiMan
47 weeks ago

Addlestone

Galloping the Lizard.....

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By *ylesburybiMan
47 weeks ago

Aylesbury

Bursting one off

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By *.DonMan
47 weeks ago

Manchester

Exercising the ferret … and mine is one of the fittest around!

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By *976BeardedMan OP   Man
47 weeks ago

Essex / London

Thank you all for your replies on my forum post. Amazing !!

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Stabbing the rabbit

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By *muttley1664Man
47 weeks ago

Enfield

Dropping the kids off at the pool.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

One off the wrist

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Point of this aimless post?

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By *ryan2000Man
47 weeks ago

London colney

Flogging the bishop..

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By *ub guy 68Man
47 weeks ago

Keith

Burping the worm!

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By *manJsyMan
47 weeks ago

St Helier

Feeding the duck (due to the similarity of hand movement)

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By *ub guy 68Man
47 weeks ago

Keith


"Point of this aimless post?"

A bit of harmless fun...

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By *iscreetguyMan
47 weeks ago

London

Having one off the wrist

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By *wordfight70Man
47 weeks ago

Baldock

Shaking hands with a sick friend.

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By *hris60sMan
47 weeks ago

various on business

Tug

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By *osferatooMan
47 weeks ago

carlisle newcastle

Galloping the maggot

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By *eefandfurMan
47 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Pulling yer Puddin'

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By *ancjay2000Man
47 weeks ago

Manchester

I like star wars themed

Tickle Yoda behind the ears

And

Meatsabre practice with Captain Solo

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By *atty70Man
47 weeks ago

IM9

Not wanking, but I had a guy say he wanted to Spunk in me the other week, haven’t heard the word spunk for ages and was such a turn on

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By *reambunMan
47 weeks ago

Bristol/Bath

There was a lad called Simon who whenever he was not with us, he was having a golden Hour!:Simon-Bates..of course he did, we all made out we didn't of course

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Choking the bishop

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Doing the blue vein tango. Or, as Kenneth Williams’ used to say, having a Barclays.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Whipping ones weasel

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By *obbie300Man
47 weeks ago

BANGOR Co Down

Ham Shank

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By *obbie300Man
47 weeks ago

BANGOR Co Down

Lol didn't know there were that many lol

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Can we seriously make Johnning the Johnson one?

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By *acca1983Man
47 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

Menage-a-un

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By *ipirateMan
47 weeks ago

Glasgow

Ripping the head off it

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By *ruemaleMan
47 weeks ago

notts

J Arthur Rank

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By *oney BonerMan
47 weeks ago

Abergele


"Fetching. "

That was a question when I was still in school ?~

Do you 'fetch' yet ?

Meaning have you started coming - spunk !

who knew we were all wanking so early ?

My wank phrase was -Spanking the monkey.

or Jerking.

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By *iggreenockMan
47 weeks ago

Greenock


"Dropping the kids off at the pool. "

That's for taking a dump!

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By *oosterladMan
47 weeks ago

ipswich

[Removed by poster at 17/02/25 22:10:15]

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By *oosterladMan
47 weeks ago

ipswich

Palming

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By *evanianMan
47 weeks ago

Sir y Fflint - Gogledd Cymru

Stroking the Pope.

Having a Tug.

Bashing the Bishop.

Meeting Mrs Palm and her five willing daughters.

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By *addy DaddycoolMan
47 weeks ago

Darlington

Tommy Tank

A RubnTug

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By *976BeardedMan OP   Man
47 weeks ago

Essex / London


"Tommy Tank

A RubnTug"

Rub and tug describes it well hey

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Having a protein shake

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By *hris3003Man
47 weeks ago

Reading

Having a chuff

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By *976BeardedMan OP   Man
47 weeks ago

Essex / London


"Having a protein shake"
. Nice one

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By *r DimpsMan
47 weeks ago

hull

Stabbing the chicken.

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By *976BeardedMan OP   Man
4 weeks ago

Essex / London

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By *evanianMan
4 weeks ago

Sir y Fflint - Gogledd Cymru

'Arry 'n Frank

Barclays Bank

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By *aohiaochiaokengMan
4 weeks ago

London

Polishing the pearl.

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By *erry_bottomMan
4 weeks ago

Derry

shocking the chicken

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
4 weeks ago

Bristol

Making the bald man cry

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By *obbie300Man
4 weeks ago

BANGOR Co Down

Beating the meat

Flogging the bishop

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By *vminme2Man
4 weeks ago

Dunstable

Bashing the bishop

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By *ickSeekerMan
4 weeks ago

Canterbury

[Removed by poster at 20/12/25 20:28:38]

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By *ickSeekerMan
4 weeks ago

Canterbury

Wow! So English speakers are, in the nicest way possible, right old wankers! 😆

Do translations from other languages count?

🇫🇷 to polish the ch*nam*n (!) 🤷🏽‍♂️

To give yourself a shake

🇪🇸🇦🇷 to do yourself a straw / to straw yourself

🇲🇽 to do yourself a jacket

Five fingers are welcome

🇲🇽🇦🇷 to do yourself a handy one

🇺🇾 to give yourself a whore (!) 🤷🏽‍♂️

✊️

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By *raig_KJMan
4 weeks ago

Southport

Playing with yourself

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