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"Hope your checking on the door that everyone is over 18" don't worry I have got Phil Mitchell (EastEnders) on the door tonight | |||
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"Is there going to be an egg hunt xx " yes there is and just to let u know in advance the is going to be a Witch hunt on the 31st of October | |||
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"To all you Celtic fans the Champagne and the Buckfast can't stay in the fridge any longer it needs to be drank by 8pm Sunday ." I’m on my way love | |||
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"Is there going to be an egg hunt xx yes there is and just to let u know in advance the is going to be a Witch hunt on the 31st of October " better get my broomstick serviced then xlol  | |||
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"Theres a pile of nettles on the snug-bar floor. What the blazes occured last night Guv'nor?" don't worry it's the Blue Nuns annual nettle eating championship this weekend. | |||
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"Guy in last night was moaning about being stung by nettles. He’d been charged £100 for a signed Bergerac dvd." ...... .... No signed jersey? 🤔 | |||
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"Don't forget Wednesday the local Priest Father O'Tickletoes will be washing feet in the Snugg all Catholics and those with a foot fetishist welcome please bring you own soap and towels " .... .... .... Nice one Guv. I'll do my toe-nails tonight.... | |||
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"Ah... What prizes are on offer? " Night out with Sting ,  | |||
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"I reckon the man with the cardigan will take some stopping. " I reckon just the cardigan would take some stopping xx | |||
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"The term surgically removed cardigan springs to mind, I will definitely wear my porn mask and good if the clergy are in town, don't want to be recognized. Mx 😜" you may get an invite to the priest hole xx | |||
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"The term surgically removed cardigan springs to mind, I will definitely wear my porn mask and good if the clergy are in town, don't want to be recognized. Mx 😜you may get an invite to the priest hole xx "Och no I never go near holes dear not my cup of tea at all, I will stay in the lighted areas of the nun snuggery just to be safe, the clergy on tour can get quite rumbustious. Mx 😜 | |||
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"Thank you for asking me to undertake the gents toilet inspections, Peter. Henceforth, I shall be inspecting everyone's tackle upon entry to ensure compliance with the Blue Nun sexual misconduct policy para 2, subsection 9, as amended." these 5 cream eggs behind the bar for you but please don't do your party trick with them like last year . | |||
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"these 5 cream eggs behind the bar for you but please don't do your party trick with them like last year ." I thought it sent the audience egg-static! | |||
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"these 5 cream eggs behind the bar for you but please don't do your party trick with them like last year . I thought it sent the audience egg-static! " Oh it did believe me. You were a true professional. You certainly didn't end up with egg on your face. Everywhere else yes. But not on your face | |||
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"Beware the landlord will be back in a hour and he's in a good mood after winning away 3-2 to Frome Town (Somerset) " no but some of our fans (Dorchester) discided to pinch one of the corner flag and try to demolish the goal nets just like the Scotland Fan many years ago did at Wembley | |||
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"Ooooooh-arrr, Peter, did you bring some cases of cider home with you?" no but I managed to pinch a Combine Harvester and a Wezell LP | |||
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