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"Age is largely irrelevant IMHO. " As with anything it's a personal thing. Age is very relevant to me. I'm not going near a 20 year old and tbh I would seriously have to consider anyone under 30! The younger age gap just doesn't sit easily with me | |||
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"Just had a conversation with my friend . I got messaged by a guy aged 21 and my friends says he's too young and he would never meet anyone that young... I never said I was going to meet this guys just that he looked good and had a nice cock. How do you guys choose an age range for guys you would have sex with? Obviously they must be 18+ but how do you choose and do you ever feel guilty if they are younger than you or older than you? Context Below I have to add I had a bad experience with a guy on Grindr who was white but muslim. He was 22 and I was in my 40's. He was coming to meet me when i joked his family would hate it if they found out he was bi. the next thing hes across the road from me and he said he would call the police and tell everyone i groomed him.I was so scared and i had to delete the app..I eventually went back on and apologised to him but I have been reluctant to meet Younger guys after that." Why did you apologise, and what for? | |||
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"I've developed a preference over time for younger tops, guys in their 20s and 30s. It's a generalisation, of course, but they tend to be in better shape than older guys and fuck like their lives depend on it. My new fella is 20 and giving me the best sex of my life. OP - if you are going to "joke" about outing a young man from a religious family, please do not be surprised if the person does not get the "joke". You become a risk, a threat, in his eyes." I didn't read any suggestion, implied or otherwise, that he would out the younger guy. The response was uncalled for. | |||
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"I imagine it is how the younger guy would have interpreted it, that this person twice his age is letting him know he has knowledge that could be extremely damaging to his stability." Hence, the young guy reciprocates, and creates his own piece of information that would be equally as damaging to the stability and wellbeing of the OP. Mutually assured destruction. | |||
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"Context Below I have to add I had a bad experience with a guy on Grindr who was white but muslim. He was 22 and I was in my 40's. He was coming to meet me when i joked his family would hate it if they found out he was bi. the next thing hes across the road from me and he said he would call the police and tell everyone i groomed him.I was so scared and i had to delete the app..I eventually went back on and apologised to him but I have been reluctant to meet Younger guys after that." My thoughts on the OP’s issue with the young chap on Grindr mirror Sara’s. His mentioning of the guy’s family and what they would think if OP shared info with them could easily have been seen as a threat by the guy. His reaction may have appeared overboard to us but no one know what goes on inside a family and many deeply conservative Muslim gays - and many deeply conservative Christian gays - have worried about their own physical safety were their families to find out about their orientation. It was a grown up adult move to apologise to the fella. Well done OP. It is not our mistakes that define us as men but our responses to them. | |||
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"Just had a conversation with my friend . I got messaged by a guy aged 21 and my friends says he's too young and he would never meet anyone that young... I never said I was going to meet this guys just that he looked good and had a nice cock. How do you guys choose an age range for guys you would have sex with? Obviously they must be 18+ but how do you choose and do you ever feel guilty if they are younger than you or older than you?" In relation to the question at hand of age; there is no right or wrong answer. There is also an intent. One day in a sauna I - at about 38 - fucked a guy who was 21 and then fucked a 79 year old up from the West Country to have dinner with his regimental mates to celebrate his 80th the next week. I enjoyed having sex with both. I would not want a relationship with either. I think the OP will have sexual attractions to an age range. Also he may have romantic attractions to another age range. For me these age ranges overlap but are not the same - my romantic range is my own age plus or minus 10 years as I want a common frame if cultural reference and no chance of failing to get references. My sexual range is 16 to no upper limit as I want a heart beat and no chance of prison time. Actually at 50 my sexual range is likely to be half my age to twice it; so long as the younger guys are in control of their behaviours and the older ones in control of their faculties. OP will need to evaluate whom he wants to spend time with and why. And not be overly influenced by the value judgements of his mates. They will make their own decisions and we should respect what they decide for themselves but ask them to respect what we decide is right for us. | |||
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"I imagine it is how the younger guy would have interpreted it, that this person twice his age is letting him know he has knowledge that could be extremely damaging to his stability." Even if this was the case, a normal response would be a simple question in order to clarify the meaning of a pretty innocuous comment. It certainly didn't warrant a threat to make a false and highly damaging allegation to police. | |||
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"Even if this was the case, a normal response would be a simple question in order to clarify the meaning of a pretty innocuous comment. It certainly didn't warrant a threat to make a false and highly damaging allegation to police." I totally agree that the response was unwarranted but when people feel threatened on an existential level - such as my family may injure or kill me if their find out I like cock - they are likely to undertake *unwarranted* actions. | |||
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"I imagine it is how the younger guy would have interpreted it, that this person twice his age is letting him know he has knowledge that could be extremely damaging to his stability. Even if this was the case, a normal response would be a simple question in order to clarify the meaning of a pretty innocuous comment. It certainly didn't warrant a threat to make a false and highly damaging allegation to police." That would be an understandable response of someone wiser and more mature with experience. Need to remember this guy is 21, is coming from a conservative background, and the thought of being outed made him very defensive. The hook-up obviously went pear shaped on the OP, but no actual damage appears to have done and I think the OP deserves credit for trying to repair things. | |||
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"Prefer older 50 plus they have more experience and less hang ups " Me too. All the guys I have sex with are matured guys from age 35 till 80. Love older guys they make me so horny that I moan each time. | |||
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"Just had a conversation with my friend . I got messaged by a guy aged 21 and my friends says he's too young and he would never meet anyone that young... I never said I was going to meet this guys just that he looked good and had a nice cock. How do you guys choose an age range for guys you would have sex with? Obviously they must be 18+ but how do you choose and do you ever feel guilty if they are younger than you or older than you? Context Below I have to add I had a bad experience with a guy on Grindr who was white but muslim. He was 22 and I was in my 40's. He was coming to meet me when i joked his family would hate it if they found out he was bi. the next thing hes across the road from me and he said he would call the police and tell everyone i groomed him.I was so scared and i had to delete the app..I eventually went back on and apologised to him but I have been reluctant to meet Younger guys after that." why bring family into it you wanted what he got | |||
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"Some of them dont respect age limits x I get messages from guys under 40 all the time x my age range is over 40 !! Can't they read x " You can use message filters so you do not get messages from people outside your age range | |||
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"Update 8/05/25- 3.55pm Got a message from a 23 year old who says he wants to meet me in his parents house which is wild... ![]() ![]() You’re an adult, decide for yourself | |||
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"Update 8/05/25- 3.55pm Got a message from a 23 year old who says he wants to meet me in his parents house which is wild... ![]() ![]() Well presumably either a) they aren't going to be there or b) they are and are used to his "friends"/"visitors". Either way, I say go for it. | |||
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