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"A Letter From America" Letter from France surely, for the safeniks | |||
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"How many miles did they walk?x" 499 | |||
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"How many miles did they walk?x" .. .. 🏌️ Good Evening my friend. Good to have you back. I was starting to worry Xx🏌️ | |||
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"A Letter From America Letter from France surely, for the safeniks" .. ... ... 🏴 Lol 🏴 | |||
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"How many miles did they walk?x .. .. 🏌️ Good Evening my friend. Good to have you back. I was starting to worry Xx🏌️" hello Ritchie darling just been having a break,xx | |||
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"How many miles did they walk?x .. .. 🏌️ Good Evening my friend. Good to have you back. I was starting to worry Xx🏌️hello Ritchie darling just been having a break,xx " ... ... Nice one Sammy 👍 | |||
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"How many miles did they walk?x499 " then saw the blue nun and stopped for a little rest and quench their thirst xx | |||
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"Rupert Lowe's lurking in the carpark with a telescope...." apparently he's been looking inside Ann's bedroom. | |||
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"And had some ham and 🍍 " on pizza xx  | |||
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"May I browse the wine list please ?" Hock Blue nun Tiger milk Mateus rose Liebfraumilch | |||
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"May I browse the wine list please ? Hock Blue nun Tiger milk Mateus rose Liebfraumilch " No Babycham or Asti Spumante? | |||
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"May I browse the wine list please ? Hock Blue nun Tiger milk Mateus rose Liebfraumilch " you have missed Barley wine and Cherry B off the list | |||
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  xx | |||
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"Can't you open up early Guv? Emma's nearly finished the bottle already! " as soon as Father Murphy as finished Holy Communion I can open up the bar . | |||
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"Morning Guv. Is the Model Railway Display still on this weekend? " yes it on and Pete Waterman might pop in | |||
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"The Stars love The Nun." I was thinking of inviting Mrs Brown to the nun over the Bank holiday weekend but we might have a few protesters outside the pub demanding that she gets sent back to Dublin | |||
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" I need a few suggestions for some fabguy cocktails " Death Can Be Fatal:- 1 1⁄4 oz Southern Comfort 1 3⁄4 oz Orange Juice 3⁄4 oz Tequila A hearty dash of Cointreau Stir with ice, serve up garnished with a sprig of mint and a slice of lime. | |||
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"A pint of Guinness please Guv... " bloody hell is it St Patrick's day all ready | |||
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"Only one way to prove it Peter and I don't think you'd get many volunteers for that job "don't worry I have ask a bald head man called Greg who use to work for the BBC to do the job | |||
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"What'no hors d'oeuvres!! "I might put so potted meat on some Ritz crackers to started with followed by a Manchester Tart (not Mrs Raynor) | |||
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"Peter, is it true that UKH has a delivery driver job with Uber and he is throwing McDonald's fries at people in the street? Anyway, can I have a large voddy and lemonade please? xx"no he's delivering kerbas for the Turkish takeaway and it cash only | |||
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"Are the Happy Mondays still on tonight Guv? They need to get Anne up for a couple of songs... " yes happy Monday are on tonight plus we have a new barmaid called Angela and by heck she can make a lovely hotpot | |||
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"Is that ginger bint from up north ,who was on last Friday still working there Guv ," yes she is my profit are 100% up since she started | |||
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"Did you see that programme about the Forth Rail Bridge last night Guv? " I forgot to tape it as I didn't get back from Brixham until 930pm | |||
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"Did you see that programme about the Forth Rail Bridge last night Guv? I forgot to tape it as I didn't get back from Brixham until 930pm " ... ... 🏴 It was an interesting watch. They still paint it with irn-bru🏴 | |||
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"Did you see that programme about the Forth Rail Bridge last night Guv? I forgot to tape it as I didn't get back from Brixham until 930pm ... ... 🏴 It was an interesting watch. They still paint it with irn-bru🏴" I did tape it after all found it in a different column | |||
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"Don't forget to night is fancy dress tonight the theme is Flawty tower's characters " Cant beat Flowery Twats , | |||
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"Made for the job" is first job if in power is to stop these pedalcabs from ripping off tourists | |||
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"Is it Spin The Bottle tonight in the Snug,Guv? I do hope so. Emma, prepare to undress😝" I always lose at things like this. People have said I lose on purpose xx | |||
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"What about a game of hide the bottle xx "Goes in green, comes out brown. | |||
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"What about a game of hide the bottle xx "hide the sausage is better | |||
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"What about a game of hide the bottle xx hide the sausage is better "not if it's one of the curly ones x | |||
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" Uncle Knobhead has just bought a old doctor weighing scales so I guess we will be starting up the Weight watching club again " how old was the doctor?x | |||
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" Uncle Knobhead has just bought a old doctor weighing scales so I guess we will be starting up the Weight watching club again how old was the doctor?x" sorry that should have read doctors old not old doctor | |||
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"Only to be tripped up by Susan Boyle." No! She outsung my entrance! What a... So what are ya having Richey? | |||
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Only joking. Better get the chap a lemonade with a bendy straw, Guv..
Can I have a bowl of electric soup and a tissue to dry my tears.
A toast to le petit yorkshire...
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"Only to be tripped up by Susan Boyle." that reminds me I must try and book her for the Boxing Day entertainment | |||
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"Theres a few going cheap in Gaza City." Not anymore.. now that the war is over they are handing them to Ukraine for the russian dogs... Anyway line em up barkeep. I expect shots of ouzo, baileys, jagermeister and a pint of cider to sober me up after the fucking I've had from Paul | |||
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"Uncle Knobhead as not turned up for work tonight apparently one of the regulars as seen him go into the massage parlour across." I did hear UKH on the phone to Ann Widdecombe to check if he would get a happy ending xx | |||
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"Which panto?" I was thinking something on the line of Ali Barbra and the forty thieves but with a political twist. Rachel Reeve's and the forty taxmen | |||
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"Which panto?I was thinking something on the line of Ali Barbra and the forty thieves but with a political twist. Rachel Reeve's and the forty taxmen " If there's a part for a grumpy ole git I'm your man peter | |||
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"Are you open yet Guv? " not yet still cleaning up after last night's fight between Mumsnet conference and the the flag maker's conference. | |||
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"Which panto?I was thinking something on the line of Ali Barbra and the forty thieves but with a political twist. Rachel Reeve's and the forty taxmen " can I play Morgiana the sla#e girl pretty please peeps xx  | |||
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"Uncle Knobhead for PM" You appear blissfully unaware that Uncle K has been running the show since July last year and is now has the uneviable reputation as the most hated and incapable PM in the entire history of British Politics, poor Uncle Knobhead even his own members are throwing marbles under his feet. | |||
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"You think Starmer is more hated than Thatcher?! Ah that's a classic,lol. " Only a classic to the delusional, good to see you rattling your chains again Richie, hope your sabbatical was beneficial. | |||
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Oh and on the Falls too... | |||
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"Good to see you are still bang at it. Thatcher was despised from the Valleys to Liverpool to the Central belt. Delusional is to rewrite history Ally.
Oh and on the Falls too..."I thank you for your kind words Richey. The Iron Lady certainly had her staunch adversaries, but they were an obviously blinkered minority who failed to see the wisdom of classical Conservative policies in righting a sinking ship and navigating the UK onto a successful course in smoother waters after Messrs Wilson, Callaghan, and a multitude of power-crazy, autocratic trade union leaders led us into tempestuous waters during the 1970s, when much of our domestic industry was annihilated by the many constant and often completely impractical, uneconomic, and, as history reveals, commercially suicidal demands of the latter! Britain's more enlightened majority elected her to over eleven years in office as Prime Minister, winning three consecutive general elections in 1979, 1983, and 1987, making her the longest-serving British Prime Minister of the 20th century! Now, if you ask the good people throughout these islands who they now want as UK Premier, you can be sure it won't be Captain Hindsight or any of his dumfounded, inept, diabolical, dishonest crew! At the moment, the honourable member for Clacton seems to be the favourite for the onerous role, but as they say, a week is a long time in politics! | |||
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