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By *ummerTV/TS
8 weeks ago
I am in Spain, not |
I do not consider myself to be a crossdresser, I wear clothing and present as myself, not a steroetype.
The fact this site requires us to select from a limited choice compels me to identify as a CD/TV.
I was between 6 and 8 when I stole a pair of pretty knickers from a neighbours daughter.
Obviously I was pre pubesce@nt so nothing sexual, I just liked them, I also stole a pretty lightweight material skirt next as I liked how it moved, plus some pretty socks and a flowery top.
I loved going deep into the woods wearing them running about with the skirt wafting and lifting, I liked feeling pretty.
The neighbour's mother figured out stuff was missing so told my mum, who found them in my room. I was told off and banned from the neighbours, nothing was ever said again.
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Once I began buying my own clothes I would have to shop in the youths section, due to being so small, plain pastel colours were okay but most of it was juvenile macho designs.
One day I was trying to find white cotton trousers in Benetton to wear on holiday, they were all mens and too big for my 26" waist, even with a belt the seat, crotch and thighs were too baggy, the assistant suggested I try on a pair in a female size 6, they fitted perfectly.
After I figured out female sizes fitted me it opened up a new world of opportunities, I could buy the prettier clothes I preferred, it was liberating.
I liked the lacey lingerie on display, but it isn't designed for male anatomy, so I chose cotton briefs in pastel colours with pretty designs, I already bought white socks, now I could buy lighter coloured and flowery patterned socks.
I never bought skirts or dresses as I knew I that would draw too much attention and I would be seen as dressing like a woman, I didn't feel like a woman or want to copy what a woman looks like, I just liked pretty things, I liked the style of girls of my age in casual clothing but I didn't feel or want to be a female.
I wear size 6 shoes so it wasn't a problem getting footwear, heels didn't appeal but colours other than black or brown did, gold buckles and other design elements that made them prettier attracted me.
Long hair was the fashion, makeup wasn't of interest, I was baby faced with naturally long eyelashes so I guess I looked either androgynous or a feminine guy
I did get called names occasionally so chose my outfits to suit the environment I would be in, a lightweight nylon rain jacket was my invisibility cloak.
Nobody really has an opportunity for self expression in the work environment, what I wore was just a uniform to me, other than less masculine footwear that was acceptable to their requirements, I blended in, it made my choice of clothing away from work more liberating.
I wore a fine gold necklace that always got remarks that it was a woman's, I would just say it was an 18th birthday present from my parents, purposely omitting to say that I chose it. I wore more feminine jewelry after I came out, I always liked painted nails but only began painting my nails much more recently. I prefer lighter scents and perfumes to the heavier mens.
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Stockings and suspenders look as sexy on a masculine guy to me as they do a woman, they frame the thighs, buttocks and groin. I wear them as they are sexually exciting to the viewer, not because I associate them with a female.
Many guys like a smooth, twink physiqued bottom but are put off effeminacy, and by what they consider female attire, especially underwear.
Having to hide that is not being true to myself, I chose a CD/TV profile so they know up front I am effeminate.
Unfortunately there is a limited number of guys interested in someone who isn't 'convincing' in their eyes, so once again I find others wanting me to comply with their expectations rather than just be me.
I am left with a choice of to either comply or limit my choice of sexual partners, so I have outfits for their sake, not mine.
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It all stems from the binary gender narrative, hence why I am passionate about defending the right to identify how you wish.
I am not Trans in the way it is seen in society.
I am male by sex but I do not fit their narrow gender perspective of a man because of how I dress and present myself, nor do I meet their gender criteria of a woman because of my sex.
But they want me to fit one or the other.
Identifying as gender neutral and daring to be part of the extended acronym is even offensive to some, as evidenced in this forum.
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Fast Forward too many 'lost' years 
I had retained my interest in lingerie and when I retired at long last I had the opportunity to rekindle that long suppressed desire to wear lingerie. 
I started to regularly 'dress', just panties at first, but very soon added stockings, suspenders and a bra and began to thoroughly enjoy my fem side.
That enjoyment that was hugely reinforced when I had my first meet wearing lingerie under trousers and a shirt. 
My 'pleasure' was further enhanced when I took my first cock, a pleasure which I continue to pursue as often as possible either outdoors or when I can accommodate. 
