FabGuys.com forum: Is it rude or am I expecting too much ?

By *aypee46 OP Man
3 weeks ago

Nuneaton

If any guys write to me on here I always respond even if it’s a polite no thanks/we’re not a good match whatever it might be.

But always respond and acknowledge the contact.

I’ve had a few guys who just do not respond at all - is that rude or am I being a bit precious

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By *tar33Man
3 weeks ago

North London (outer)

It depends on how much effort they make with their initial approach. Some of the messages I receive are so lazily put together that they don't warrant a response.

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By *iHubby73TV/TS
3 weeks ago

Durham

Must admit I try and make an effort, but if it's just a 'Hi' then sometimes I don't bother. Especially if it's a shadow profile, it's not hard to put a profile pic up is it?!

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By *ibrum2025Man
3 weeks ago

here

"It depends on how much effort they make with their initial approach. Some of the messages I receive are so lazily put together that they don't warrant a response."

This 👍

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By *hyna HutchMan
3 weeks ago

valleys

u fuk now?

me no fuck now

where u?

u between t and v

unk unk owww... fire burn.

As above, little or no effort = little or no effort.

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By *oodpeckerMan
3 weeks ago

Falkirk

"If any guys write to me on here I always respond even if it’s a polite no thanks/we’re not a good match whatever it might be.

But always respond and acknowledge the contact.

I’ve had a few guys who just do not respond at all - is that rude or am I being a bit precious

I agree with Fabguys, from FAQs:

"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply… If you don't get a response, you can safely assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?"

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By *londebiguyMan
3 weeks ago

near Southport

[Removed by poster at 23/09/25 11:10:50]

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By *ocky30Man
3 weeks ago

Northampton

It's a difficult one... as per the OP I always reply even if it is a thanks but no thanks.

The ones that will usually get ignored and deleted (rightly or wrongly) are the ones that do the one word 'Hi' I'll respond with something a little bit more expressive and they don't reply.

Then a couple of days later they just send Hi again... WTF? You can see the message history, so why try and start a conversation again? Why not respond to my last response?

Another issue that brings on the red mist is when you have to read something half a dozen times to try and make sense of what has been written. Yes, we can all make typos but there have been a couple over the last week or so that have just been gibberish - delete!

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By *londebiguyMan
3 weeks ago

near Southport

I always respond unless the message to me is rude or demanding.

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By *eg4youMan
3 weeks ago

withywood

"If any guys write to me on here I always respond even if it’s a polite no thanks/we’re not a good match whatever it might be.

But always respond and acknowledge the contact.

I’ve had a few guys who just do not respond at all - is that rude or am I being a bit precious

no, you're not being rude. Just being honest. You know what you want. Good for you don't feel shame or embarrassment because people are rude, or push you away.

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By *excessMan
3 weeks ago

Sleaford

"If any guys write to me on here I always respond even if it’s a polite no thanks/we’re not a good match whatever it might be.

But always respond and acknowledge the contact.

I’ve had a few guys who just do not respond at all - is that rude or am I being a bit precious

In my opinion guys don't reply because there are so many thin skinned man childs on the site, who take rejection as a personal sleight and become abusive.

It happened to me recently,band this guys on his 30s!!

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By *oodpeckerMan
3 weeks ago

Falkirk

"If any guys write to me on here I always respond even if it’s a polite no thanks/we’re not a good match whatever it might be.

But always respond and acknowledge the contact.

I’ve had a few guys who just do not respond at all - is that rude or am I being a bit precious

no, you're not being rude. Just being honest. You know what you want. Good for you don't feel shame or embarrassment because people are rude, or push you away. "

He didn't ask if HE was being rude! 👀… and the site designers/owners/operators don't think it's rude not to reply to messages

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By *oodpeckerMan
3 weeks ago

Falkirk

"If any guys write to me on here I always respond even if it’s a polite no thanks/we’re not a good match whatever it might be.

But always respond and acknowledge the contact.

I’ve had a few guys who just do not respond at all - is that rude or am I being a bit precious

In my opinion guys don't reply because there are so many thin skinned man childs on the site, who take rejection as a personal sleight and become abusive.

It happened to me recently,band this guys on his 30s!!"

… and this is just one of many potential reasons

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By *ickSeekerMan
3 weeks ago

Canterbury

Lack of acknowledgement isn't terribly nice under any circumstance I think, but I guess we're *all* supposed to be *so* business-minded here that we shouldn't take it personally - just as well, since this is a 'virtual' space and it wouldn't do to feel aggravated by every single line (or lack thereof) we receive.🤷🏽‍♂️. Now, where's my remedy?

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By *ustOneBearMan
3 weeks ago

Neath

You’re damned if you reply or you don’t.

I block messages from pictureless accounts.

If someone has written a sentence but it’s not what I’m looking for, I use “thank for your message, however we are not a good match. All the best”

The replies run from

“Why?” “But I want you to fuck me” to “well you’re an ugly old Cnut anyway”

If it’s a “Hi” from someone I’m interested in I’ll reply “Hi” see how it goes.

No one owes you a response. It’s on you how you respond. I take a no reply as not interested. I block so I don’t bother them again.

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By *eedsbearmanMan
3 weeks ago

Leeds

Nobody has a right of reply.

Not everyone finds it rude (I certainly don't), but we all view these things differently.

No reply? Just move on with your day - you've got your response.

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By *rueguyMan
3 weeks ago

notts

If I contact someone first and they don't reply, it means I can forget that one and move on. Doesn't bother me as over years, I realize so many shallow guys on her and or they aren't interested if I've seen they've read my message.

I don't get stressed over people I don't know.

Two a penny. Lol

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By *upertedMan
3 weeks ago

Nelson

I'd suggest don't be so sensitive about it...sign of the times using apps like this unfortunately.

It's a but like a poke/wink/flash. Rejection is rife on these apps so why waste time writing an introductory elevator pitch to be ignored. Requires time but there is plenty of wheat here amongst the chaff.

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By *urrey_hjTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Kingston Upon Thames

"If any guys write to me on here I always respond even if it’s a polite no thanks/we’re not a good match whatever it might be.

But always respond and acknowledge the contact.

I’ve had a few guys who just do not respond at all - is that rude or am I being a bit precious

I think that it is rude. It takes 2 seconds to say ‘thanks’ etc

It always makes me smile when people say ‘I have so many messages I can’t reply to them all….’

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By *oodpeckerMan
3 weeks ago

Falkirk

Passive aggressiveness r us! SO many whiny, needy, insecure, immature, shallow, self-absorbed characters in these types of (repetitive) threads

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By *hong loverTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Wilton near Malton

I have had lots of no replies, even when I gave complimented them, just fucking rude.

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By *aypee46 OP Man
3 weeks ago

Nuneaton

noted

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By *os001Man
3 weeks ago

Oxford

My enthusiasm to respond decreases if it's a really basic message.

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

I always respond. Like if someone said hello in the street I would at least say hello back but that's just me

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By *orneyGuy85Man
3 weeks ago

Skelmersdale

Had a few people message me either expecting me to travel for miles for a potential meet and getting pissy when I can't, or start a conversation asking if I'm free before they ghost me.

Same when I've messaged people. If you're not interested guys, say so. Takes 2 minutes to tell someone where to go. Better than being rude and ignoring you

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By *oodpeckerMan
3 weeks ago

Falkirk

Would a simple Fuck Off reply be considered more polite than no response? 🤔

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By *ucksitupMan
3 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

"It depends on how much effort they make with their initial approach. Some of the messages I receive are so lazily put together that they don't warrant a response."

That’s so right. Sometimes I tell them exactly that and other times I can’t be arsed.

Had one this morning that just said “Teleguard wank” no preamble no hi or any introduction. Some are total knobheads.

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By *eather_uktvTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Manchester

I quite often get random messages from guys who just say 'hey'. Being polite I always reply with 'hi'. I think most messages like that are from guys who are just trying to get me to talk dirty to them while they have a wank. I'm wise to it now so I don't fall for it anymore.

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By *hyna HutchMan
3 weeks ago

valleys

"...

It always makes me smile when people say ‘I have so many messages I can’t reply to them all….."

The one that makes me smile is (someone with whatever) goes to the front of the queue.

The queue!

Breathtaking optimism.

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By *lackbootzMan
3 weeks ago

Hayes, Middx

"Would a simple Fuck Off reply be considered more polite than no response? 🤔"

Fuck off, Woody!

(You know I’d never say that to you 😘)

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By *oodpeckerMan
3 weeks ago

Falkirk

"Would a simple Fuck Off reply be considered more polite than no response? 🤔

Fuck off, Woody!

(You know I’d never say that to you 😘)"

Well, I wasn’t expecting anyone to tell ME to fuck off! 😤🤬🤯😖😣😏😂🤣😳😘

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By *andomguy321Man
3 weeks ago

reading

"...

It always makes me smile when people say ‘I have so many messages I can’t reply to them all…..

The one that makes me smile is (someone with whatever) goes to the front of the queue.

The queue!

Breathtaking optimism. "

Possibly with a numerical ticketing system ....

'Book early to avoid disappointment'

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By *ountainMan
3 weeks ago

ipswich

I have a rotating door system. Lol.

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By *lackbootzMan
3 weeks ago

Hayes, Middx

This theme has been discussed so many times here before. It’s such a common talking-point that FabGuys address it in their FAQ as Woodpecker has quoted for us above.

Suffice to say there is no correct or incorrect policy, and one hopes people use their initiative.

My personal position is that, unless you are an absolute and total wanker, it is an easy thing to weigh up what sort of reply the messages you receive deserve.

I’ve had some very generous or kind or warm or complimentary messages from people who wouldn’t interest me remotely, but because they have been generous or kind or warm or complimentary, it would have been fucking rude not to send a courteous acknowledgment. Because you’ve replied to them, you occasionally have to restate the not interested part to their subsequent excited messages because they got an answer back. But that can be dealt with. You let a decent person down with some decency and not arrogantly.

Rude, offhand, abrupt, thoughtless, cretinous messages are different. These don’t deserve your courtesy. Sometimes I will play with these idiots or mock them. They receive the brusque and very direct version of Blackbootz. It’s about teaching people the consequences of actions and words.

I’ve been sometimes quite surprised when I’ve sent a no-agenda compliment about someone’s profile or pictures not to receive any reply. I know I enjoy receiving the same. Just saying “Thank you” commits you to nothing. You don’t have to respond any further.

But it also tells you more about some people than a lot of messaging.

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By *andomguy321Man
3 weeks ago

reading

"I have a rotating door system. Lol. "

'One out - One in' ;o)

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By *aypee46 OP Man
3 weeks ago

Nuneaton

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By *aypee46 OP Man
3 weeks ago

Nuneaton

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By *arridMan
3 weeks ago

Brighton

I don’t always respond - for various reasons: including, inter alia, their message was boring and I couldn’t be arsed to reply, their message was badly spelled and grammatically incorrect, I didn’t like the look of him, I didn’t like the look of the background in his pics, the message didn’t need a reply, they obviously didn’t read my profile.

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By *ucksitupMan
3 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

"I don’t always respond - for various reasons: including, inter alia, their message was boring and I couldn’t be arsed to reply, their message was badly spelled and grammatically incorrect, I didn’t like the look of him, I didn’t like the look of the background in his pics, the message didn’t need a reply, they obviously didn’t read my profile. "

The last reason means that they don’t deserve a reply. Messaging without reading the profile is a big no no for me. It smacks of a scatter gun approach and desperation.

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By *lackbootzMan
3 weeks ago

Hayes, Middx

"… I didn’t like the look of the background in his pics... "

Give us examples.

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By *udi222Man
3 weeks ago

Harrogate

If the person messaging has ignored my clearly stated preferences then I don't reply.

One or word messages might get a reply if they're hot (yes im shallow & vain).

I'd respond to most other messages - even if its a 'no thanks'. Though I ignore whiny messages asking for a reason for a rejection. I don't owe you an explanation.

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By *dstefiMan
3 weeks ago

Solihull

The ability to create a profile is there for a reason: to tell people who may be interested what you're about and what you like.

Mine explicitly states that I don't like no-effort messages. I don't like being addressed in the feminine even though I like lingerie. It even tells anybody who can be arsed to read that I do not respond to mmmmmmm.

Anybody who chooses to ignore that or not take the less than a minute required to read it with even average reading skills can fuck off and not expect a reply.

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By *arridMan
3 weeks ago

Brighton

"… I didn’t like the look of the background in his pics...

Give us examples. "

Rubbish overflowing a bin in his sitting room, cigarettes and lighter on a coffee table of a non smoker, a man in Brighton who miraculously had managed to get USA plug sockets installed, clothes and belongings all over the place, kids toys, family photos, grey corduroy cushions, knob cheese, dirty fingernails, and a naff Jack Vettriano print in pride of place.

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By *oodpeckerMan
3 weeks ago

Falkirk

"… I didn’t like the look of the background in his pics...

Give us examples.

"… USA plug sockets…" ⚡️ 😂

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By *arridMan
3 weeks ago

Brighton

"… I didn’t like the look of the background in his pics...

Give us examples.

"… USA plug sockets…" ⚡️ 😂"

Yes, he got my usual kind, gentle, understanding and slightly regretful refusal.

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By *hyna HutchMan
3 weeks ago

valleys

"… I didn’t like the look of the background in his pics...

Give us examples.

... naff Jack Vettriano print in pride of place... "

No umbrella fetish for you then. 😂

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By *aypee46 OP Man
3 weeks ago

Nuneaton

"My enthusiasm to respond decreases if it's a really basic message. "

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By *aypee46 OP Man
3 weeks ago

Nuneaton

So many responses so here’s a general thank you to all that replied either way.

Take care and have fun (but please be kind and reply to messages).

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By *oodpeckerMan
3 weeks ago

Falkirk

"So many responses so here’s a general thank you to all that replied either way.

Take care and have fun (but please be kind and reply to messages). "

You're "expecting too much!" 😆

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By *tar33Man
3 weeks ago

North London (outer)

I just received the laziest message ever - Hry?

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By *lackbootzMan
3 weeks ago

Hayes, Middx

"I just received the laziest message ever - Hry?"

What’s wrong with that?

I has so much meaning.

= “How are you?”

= “Are you hairy?”

= “Are you Harry?”

= “Are you Hilary?”

= “Are you in a hurry?”

= “Are you horny?”

= “Do you rate the Duke of Sussex?”

It’s a brilliant opening message as you can interpret it in any way you choose.

You could reply:

“Fof”

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By *tar33Man
3 weeks ago

North London (outer)

"I just received the laziest message ever - Hry?

What’s wrong with that?

I has so much meaning.

= “How are you?”

= “Are you hairy?”

= “Are you Harry?”

= “Are you Hilary?”

= “Are you in a hurry?”

= “Are you horny?”

= “Do you rate the Duke of Sussex?”

It’s a brilliant opening message as you can interpret it in any way you choose.

You could reply:

“Fof”

Damn, I wouldn't normally reply but on this occasion temptation got the better of me. How about 'You need to put more effort into your messages'.

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By *ubbdaddyMan
3 weeks ago

London

I think it depends on how many messages the person gets too. I have chatted with some girls at work and seen how ridiculous the volume of messages they get on online-dating is. It would be an admin job just to respond to all the 'hey, how're you?' that they get and not everyone can be bothered with the mental load, especially if the messenger wasn't.

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By *eatherloverukMan
3 weeks ago

near Skegness

I get lots of replies from people who clearly haven't read my profile as there not what I'm looking for or out of my age range so I tend not to reply , the genuine people that do take the time to look and reply, I then make an effort to reply even if it's a polite no thank you.

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By *uyinplymouthMan
3 weeks ago

Plymstock

If they can't take the time/be bothered to read my profile and we are clearly not suited (ie out of the age range I've specified) I don't see why I should take the time to respond

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By *lackbootzMan
3 weeks ago

Hayes, Middx

"I just received the laziest message ever - Hry?

What’s wrong with that?

I has so much meaning.

= “How are you?”

= “Are you hairy?”

= “Are you Harry?”

= “Are you Hilary?”

= “Are you in a hurry?”

= “Are you horny?”

= “Do you rate the Duke of Sussex?”

It’s a brilliant opening message as you can interpret it in any way you choose.

You could reply:

“Fof”

Damn, I wouldn't normally reply but on this occasion temptation got the better of me. How about 'You need to put more effort into your messages'."

I still think “fof” would have been simpler.

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By *arridMan
3 weeks ago

Brighton

"I just received the laziest message ever - Hry?

What’s wrong with that?

I has so much meaning.

= “How are you?”

= “Are you hairy?”

= “Are you Harry?”

= “Are you Hilary?”

= “Are you in a hurry?”

= “Are you horny?”

= “Do you rate the Duke of Sussex?”

It’s a brilliant opening message as you can interpret it in any way you choose.

You could reply:

“Fof”

Damn, I wouldn't normally reply but on this occasion temptation got the better of me. How about 'You need to put more effort into your messages'."

YNTOMEIYM

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By *ighway expressMan
3 weeks ago

Campbeltown

Someone sends a nice message, yep, that deserves a response

Someone, as VERY occasionally happens, sends a completely unintelligible message, I'll ask Google translate

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By *im le2Man
3 weeks ago

aylestone leic

It says on my profile I'll not answer one word text . So don't expect a reply because you will wait a long time. It's the same with replays if you only reply with one word that's the end of the conversation.

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By *airyandbelliedbottomMan
3 weeks ago

Barrow-in-Furness

"If any guys write to me on here I always respond even if it’s a polite no thanks/we’re not a good match whatever it might be.

But always respond and acknowledge the contact.

I’ve had a few guys who just do not respond at all - is that rude or am I being a bit precious

Well you're unlike most of the guys I message

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