FabGuys.com forum: Dogs

By *rownriver OP Man
1 week ago

Crawley

My two dogs keep urinating on each other.

I think they're golden receivers.

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By *rownriver OP Man
1 week ago

Crawley

My wife said she felt threatened by a girl I work with.

"what the 18 year old with the cracking tits? "

Wasn't the best response!!..

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By *rownriver OP Man
1 week ago

Crawley

I took my new puppy for his first shots today, but the poor thing threw up everywhere.

Probably should have started him on something weaker than Sambuca...

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By *andomguy321Man
1 week ago

reading

Lol .... Keep em coming

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By *rownriver OP Man
1 week ago

Crawley

"Lol .... Keep em coming

It’s going to get a bit rough

Maybe a little barking

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By *bonybucksMan
1 week ago

High Wycombe

Ha ha that’s a good one OP

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By *0yguyMan
1 week ago

Cumberland

What’s the best way to stop your dog from barking in the front garden? Put him in the back garden.

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By *rownriver OP Man
1 week ago

Crawley

I’m sick and tired of taking my dog out every night when I come home from work.

He’s never got any money and never gets a round in.

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By *loset TVTV/TS
1 week ago

bradford

"I’m sick and tired of taking my dog out every night when I come home from work.

He’s never got any money and never gets a round in."

🤣 xx

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By *rownriver OP Man
1 week ago

Crawley

Experts have announced that a family owned dog can bark up to 500 times a day. They have advised that this is only a ruff estimate.

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By *DCambsMan
1 week ago

Cambridge

"Experts have announced that a family owned dog can bark up to 500 times a day. They have advised that this is only a ruff estimate."

Sausages

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By *rownriver OP Man
1 week ago

Crawley

Dog Walkers.

Worst crisp flavour, ever.

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By *hiteroseMan
1 week ago

Neverwhere

My dog hasn't got any legs. We call him Woodbine because we take him out for a drag.

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By *rownriver OP Man
1 week ago

Crawley

My dog only responds to commands in Spanish.

He's Espanyol...

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By *rownriver OP Man
1 week ago

Crawley

I made my wife a Caesar salad last night......

The dog was really fed up though as it was his last tin!!..

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By *onmar01Couple (MM)
1 week ago

Bargoed

"My dog hasn't got any legs. We call him Woodbine because we take him out for a drag."

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By *rownriver OP Man
1 week ago

Crawley

"My dog hasn't got any legs. We call him Woodbine because we take him out for a drag.

It’s getting a bit of a drag now lol

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By *aul349Man
1 week ago

North of the Tyne

"Dog Walkers.

Worst crisp flavour, ever."

That made me laugh..

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By *ornyguy911Man
1 week ago

harrogate

My wife is pissed at me, she asked where I'd like to be buried.

Balls deep in your sister wasn't what she expected to hear

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By *lowSubMan
1 week ago

Northampton

Woof 🐈🐾 woof...

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By *heffbagMan
1 week ago

Rotherhsm

"Experts have announced that a family owned dog can bark up to 500 times a day. They have advised that this is only a ruff estimate."

That’s still less times than a wife complains in a day

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By *rownriver OP Man
1 week ago

Crawley

My dog kept chewing on the electrical cords so I had to ground him.

He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly...

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By *autiously_curiousMan
1 week ago

Craigavon

I went to a zoo recently but the only animal there was a single dog.

It was a real Shih Tzu!

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By *rownriver OP Man
1 week ago

Crawley

My dog isn’t barking much lately.

I think he’s going through a ruff patch.

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By *aganMan
1 week ago

basildon

A neighbour complained that my dog keeps chasing people on bikes. I said that’s ridiculous my dog doesn’t own a bike.

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By *awihMan
1 week ago

Aldershot

The ex said he was going to dance on my grave when I was dead. I said good, I’m being buried at sea.

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By *ammy39Man
1 week ago

Glenrothes

"My dog kept chewing on the electrical cords so I had to ground him.

He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly...

10/10 Brilliant

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By *rownriver OP Man
1 week ago

Crawley

A young lady takes her Schnauzer dog to the vet because it is scratching all the time.

He diagnoses an unusual skin complaint and writes a prescription for ointment. She goes to the pharmacist to get the prescription filled, and as he hands the ointment over he says "The manufacturer recommends that you don't wear a hat for a few days after using this."

"Oh no," she says, "you don't understand -- it's for my Schnauzer!"

"Oh," says the pharmacist, "in that case you probably won't want to ride a bicycle for a couple of weeks"

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By *rownriver OP Man
1 week ago

Crawley

How good are Lidl’s meatballs?

They're the dog's bollocks!

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By *luerooMan
1 week ago

bridgwater

i taught my dog to play the trumpet on the tube, he went from barking to tooting in just 15 minutes

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
1 week ago

Bedford

Had a friend round for a drink my dog was in the lounge licking his balls .My mate said I wish I could do that, said give him a biscuit he might let you xx

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By *tar33Man
1 week ago

North London (outer)

I tried a new vegetarian Korean convenience food earlier, it's called Not Poodle.

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By *b20Man
1 week ago

Glasgow

"I tried a new vegetarian Korean convenience food earlier, it's called Not Poodle."

Brilliant

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By *starMan
1 week ago

Stroud

My dog's got no nose.

How does he smell then?

Well obviously he can't because he lacks the necessary olfactory equipment.

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By *tef ChiquitaTV/TS
1 week ago

chichester

I have a packet of biscuits 😜

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By *ritpopMan
7 days ago

newcastle

My dog is an engineer every time I go to kick him he makes a bolt for the door

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By *iPasserMan
7 days ago

bangor

Two racehorses at talking in a pub.

One says, "I was running in the 3.15 at Newbury yesterday. I was at the back of the field when all of a sudden a bolt of lightning came out of the sky and hit me in the arse and vroooom! I won the race at 50/1!"

The second horse says,"Wow! Exactly the same thing happened to me at Haydock Park last month!"

Then the horses hear a voice from the next table and a greyhound pipes up, "Excuse me for interrupting but I couldnt help but overhear you two talk about the lightning thing. So I have to tell you that exactly the same happened to me at Walthamstow Dog Track a couple of years ago. Back of the race, lightning, arse hit, won the race. Exactly the same!!"

The first horse looks at the greyhound in astonishment, then turns to the second horse and says,

"Fuck me, thats incredible!! A talking dog!!"

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By *ouldlove2tryMan
12 hours ago

Here and there West Yorkshire

"I have a packet of biscuits 😜"

Are they Hob Nobs 🤣🤣

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By *ubmanpaulMan
12 hours ago

near ripon

Please

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By *iFun76Man
8 hours ago

Wallingford

Absolutely loving these puns 😂😂😂

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By *illhardenMan
8 hours ago

stowmarket

A man took his chameleon to the vet cos it wouldn't change colour, the vet said it had a reptile disfunction.Boom boom

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