FabGuys.com forum: Feel sad about getting older

By *moothladABC OP Man
7 days ago

london

Feel like I’m running out of time to find a nice chap ha. I’m really not getting any younger.

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By *dstefiMan
7 days ago

Solihull

Don't worry, my first marriage was at your age and lasted 20-odd years then I had a few years of dating then got settled again. Life's in front of you and like Talk Talk said, it's what you make it.

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By *eedsbearmanMan
7 days ago

Leeds

I used to feel that way.

Then I just hit a point where I stopped worrying. I have a great life now. I'm happy with me and who I am, nobody else needed. Nice if it comes along, but not a worry if not.

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By *moothladABC OP Man
7 days ago

london

Yeah, I gotta be better at being happy being alone for sure.

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By *erscumdumpMan
7 days ago

Watford

You're 30. Make the most of single life. Date. Fuck around. Do as you please. You've got time.

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By *LASGOW 60s GUYMan
7 days ago

Glasgow

"Getting older"

YOU ARE 30!

Get yourself out there and grab life by the balls. That way you might meet someone. If you are relying on here you are wasting your time

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By *ran69Man
7 days ago

Rossendale

Getting older lol. Talk to me when you’re 70 ! Oh wait….Ill be long dead 🫤

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By *moothladABC OP Man
7 days ago

london

Haha did none of you older chaps feel the same at my age 😭

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By *ran69Man
7 days ago

Rossendale

Yep. I left it far too late. Don’t waste time just get out there. You’ve more chance of getting cock than I have 🤣

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By *oaq2Man
7 days ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"Getting older lol. Talk to me when you’re 70 ! Oh wait….Ill be long dead 🫤"

Lol. Just what I was thinking too 😱

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By *ruemaleMan
7 days ago

notts

"Haha did none of you older chaps feel the same at my age 😭 "

No. Not until I was 65

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By *on1966Man
7 days ago

leeds

Your only 30,loads of time to find someone

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By *ammiTVTV/TS
7 days ago

Inverness

"Feel like I’m running out of time to find a nice chap ha. I’m really not getting any younger."

I hit on your profile to see your age, expecting a guy aged 55-65 and then I saw you are 30.

You have nothing to worry about.

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By *moothladABC OP Man
7 days ago

london

I think it’s when I see all my mates getting married and having kids!

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By *exualCumeleonMan
7 days ago

Birmingham

30 isn't getting older, this sounds like a millennial "look at me post"

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By *obnsaMan
7 days ago

Rayleigh

I remember being 24 thinking the next birthday would round me up to being 30. At the time is was one of the most important things in my mind. When I got to 34 I thought the same thing about rounding up to being 40. Yada yada.

Looking back on it now, my advice would be to live each day as it comes. Experience new things, push out of your comfort zone, get out of life something that you're not going to get by being scared of what may or may not be. Make every day a choice that you make - don't allow it to be made for you. What will be will be. Just don't be boring. Live your life.

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By *damb00Man
7 days ago

Leicestershire

You’re 30 and you live in London

Go to bars, download dating apps

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By *vsindyTV/TS
7 days ago

A place where sheep are warm, or Burnley.

Fuck me....30 is old? I must be a fucking dinosaur then. Welcome to the mesolithic era.

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By *urious guy91Man
7 days ago

Barrow-in-Furness

Tbf they do say 38 is middle aged for most people

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By *moothladABC OP Man
6 days ago

london

This is really helpful. Thank you mate.

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By *moothladABC OP Man
6 days ago

london

You get it

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By *oodpeckerMan
6 days ago

Falkirk

"Haha did none of you older chaps feel the same at my age 😭 "

Nope! Don't pressure yourself and don't try and make comparisons with your peers. Be you and enjoy life without living up to others' expectations… 🙂🌈

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By *amie1402Man
6 days ago

Liverpool

Fuck sake !

You’re only 30 !

Who was if said youth was wasted on the young ?

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By (user no longer on site)
6 days ago

Yep better find someone soon as time is running out

Once you hit 40 its even worse

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By *aySub99Man
6 days ago

Gloucester

I feel you

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By *treyu500Man
6 days ago

wickow

"I think it’s when I see all my mates getting married and having kids! "

Totally typical way to feel buddy. I felt it at 18 when I was in uni (and didn't like it), in my mid 20s and again in the last couple of years. All periods of life where things like friend circles, responsibly, amount of free time etc start to change.

I wrote down everything that I wasn't happy with and I made goals to change it (manageable goals).

I always had this feeling of "getting left behind" or like I had so little time to get everything I wanted done.

When I had that feeling in my mid 20s, I was in a job I hated that I had been in for years (I was afraid to leave it because of the recession). I really wanted a relationship. But, most of all I personally felt embarrassed that I hadn't finished a degree and that for some reason that made me feel stupid.

So long story short, I made a series of goals, small and large, starting with making a new cv. I changed jobs, went to college at night and had a good relationship with my now X gf.

And the feeling went away for a few years. But, It came back really hard a while ago so I had to do the same thing. All my friends were getting married, having kids, less availablity. So I moved away. Made new friends. New experiences.

Now my goal is to get on the property ladder (mortgage) which will happen this year. I did the single life thing which is a great suggestion by others but I also am actively dating and putting a lot of time into that because that's what I want (a partner).

It's tough (the dating thing). For me, Being bi I had to decide what I wanted and for a while I was dating both men and women. Kids route with a woman is obviously far easier. But, I now want a relationship with a man and I want kids. And dating men, particularly men in their 30s is a total cluster fuck. Honestly, the majority of gay men under 40 are fucking clueless lol with regards to relationships. And very few want kids because they are loving the gay party life (which is fine) but it's not what I want to do forever.

My advise to find a partner is to be as socially active as you can. Join and participate is community social events- find them on FB. The apps are mostly shite for finding someone but use them as a tool too.

And trust me you have plenty of time. I read this study a few years ago and they did a survey of a few thousand old people. They were asked if they could return to any age, what age would that be.

The most common answer was "35".

With be reasoning that by your mid 30s you are emotionally mature with a formed sense of self, generally have some savings behind you, and education or trade, *freedom to go anywhere*, change jobs etc.

So yeh, you have plenty of time. "Life isn't a race". It's a unique journey to be experienced at your own pace, not a competition against others. I have friends that I went to school with that have kids that just turned 20. When I look at them and think wow, they have what I want , I then have to think of all the amazing experiences that I had that they probably missed out on from having kids at 18. So they get to have those experiences now that their kids are raised.

There's no one way to live life. Don't pay attention to what others are doing and focus on what you want for you and work towards that.

Your feelings are very typical/common buddy.

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By *dstefiMan
6 days ago

Solihull

Post above is brilliant and what the forums should be about! Friendly advice from personal experience.

OP, if it's any help I didn't get laid till I was 27 (I was a shy late starter), am now 63 and have had a decent amount of sex and some nice relationships along the way. You really do still have most of your life in front of you and should enjoy it to the max while you're in your prime. Life doesn't end at 40 or 50 or even 60 any more though, plenty of us 60+ers are still working and playing hard

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By *lphageminiMan
6 days ago

Folkestone

All you guys seem so young. At 30 don't be so fired up to get settled, you have a long way to go. The most important thing you can do is actively take care of your health. If you have good health you are a big winner. Get skinny and exercised. Study your diet and optimize it. I'm 90 now and still get attention in saunas. I'd rather be 90 than 19, much more comfortable.

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By *ucker4you80Man
6 days ago

Chippenham

Nothing external will change the feeling. The guy a few posts up who set a bunch of goals gives good advice, however, nothing you do or achieve or get will fix it, eventually the feeling will come back and you'll look for more things to get or achieve to make the feeling go away.

Instead of trying to get rid of the feeling, just accept it. Take a good long look at it, where is the feeling, what does it do, where does it affect you? It's just a feeling, feel it, accept it and move on, another feeling will be along soon!

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By *ustOneBearMan
6 days ago

Neath

"I think it’s when I see all my mates getting married and having kids! "

I don’t meet my husband until I was in my 40’s. I knew exactly what I wanted by then. We were able to discuss how the relationship was going to work. Sexually emotionally and very important- financially. We’re able to set ground rules we both agreed on. So we were able to have threesomes and go to the sauna without any concerns.

Being older meant it was the best relationship I’d ever had.

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By *ndy61hMan
6 days ago

Plymouth

For christ sake you're only 30, you've got years ahead of you, don't go looking for love, it will just find you.

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By *enjamin2018Man
6 days ago

Halstead

Embrace it , treat ageing as an incentive to try new things and push your boundaries.

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By *j1981Man
6 days ago

Redruth

Dont stress it,your only 30 and from your pics in great shape dont go hunting and you will find someone, most likely not on here but in real life

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By *tephen_b50Man
6 days ago

Bristol

"Tbf they do say 38 is middle aged for most people "

It's all about attitude. There are some people who are born middle-aged. It's very creepy.

i've never forgotten seeing Rees-Mogg being interviewed when he was riding in the back of his dad's Rolls Royce, talking about his investments and saying "I want to make money. When you have money you can make more money and buy things. I could buy this Rolls Royce. Lovely."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Bp0Szk19J8

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By *os001Man
6 days ago

Oxford

Bloody hell, seriously!

There is no point worrying about things you can't control. Try and enjoy each moment, you might find the love of your life, you might not, but have some fun and new experiences on the way.

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By *moothladABC OP Man
6 days ago

london

Just want to say thanks for this really detailed reply - appreciate it a lot. Given me loads to think about.

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By *moothladABC OP Man
6 days ago

london

Totally get where you’re coming from, but that feels really hard to do? Doesn’t the feeling just stay there and you need to change something to get rid of it

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
6 days ago

Bedford

I'm 75 and still always live in the present the past is gone the future hasn't happened there is only now so getting yourself out and about hobbies clubs gym anywhere and everywhere you are likely to meet people and socialise. Don't hide from the storm learn to dance in the rain xx

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By *ildwestheroMan
6 days ago

Llandrindod Wells

"Feel like I’m running out of time to find a nice chap ha. I’m really not getting any younger."

Bloody hell!!! No hope for the rest of us if you consider yourself too old.

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By *uck me in KentMan
6 days ago

Medway

I'm 70 and still enjoying life.

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By *ucker4you80Man
6 days ago

Chippenham

"Totally get where you’re coming from, but that feels really hard to do? Doesn’t the feeling just stay there and you need to change something to get rid of it "

Changing external things doesn't get rid of feelings. There is nothing physical which you can get or aquire that will bring lasting happiness or expel unpleasant or pleasant feelings. Accept the feeling for what it is, fleeting and intangible, it can't hurt you.

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By *rancd2TV/TS
6 days ago

Wolverhampton

I’ve got to say that 30 was my worst 0 year. 20 I was still young, 40 & 50 I was used to being shall we say ‘mature’ lol. 60 I’m almost looking forwards to. 30 though seemed to make me realise I wasnt getting any younger, so I do feel for the OP.

My advice would be to stop looking, especially for a relationship. My best relationships have all been accidental almost. My latest and longest is with someone I happened to get chatting to at a bus stop on my way to work.

Don’t try too hard to find a relationship, one will find you when the time is right. Until then enjoy YOUR life, dont look at other peoples and compare it, because you rarely see the bad stuff others are going through.

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By *usan jonesTV/TS
6 days ago

Wolverhampton

You’re only 30 you’ll be fine lol

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By *waff1102Man
6 days ago

King's Lynn, Norfolk

"Feel like I’m running out of time to find a nice chap ha. I’m really not getting any younger."
Don't feel sad, best plan is to give up looking and within a few months you will have found the love of your life

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By *ishop666Man
6 days ago

ls19

Every one goes through this process just enjoy

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By *hubbyGinger76Man
6 days ago

Halesowen

I love it when people nearly 20 years my junior say they're getting old. Let me go and get my Zimmer frame

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By *lackbootzMan
6 days ago

Hayes, Middx

"30 isn't getting older, this sounds like a millennial "look at me post""

“Fake honey, real plastic!

Stupid cupid, fantastic…

Queer thinking, straight talking…

What you see ain't what you are getting!

Fast-loving, slow-moving,

No rhythm, but I'm grooving!

Old feelings, new beginnings

Superficial expectations!

LOOK AT ME!!!”

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By *moothladABC OP Man
6 days ago

london

Thanks for this - this did make me feel better 😅

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By *ames471Man
6 days ago

Bromsgrove

I’m bisexual, but more straight than gay.

I lost my wife of nearly thirty years a couple of years ago and I suddenly felt a great emptiness in my life.

I started dating via internet sites and after a few false starts, I was fortunate to meet someone really special! I am now having the best sex of my life with a gorgeous woman!

I am hoping to get to explain how I like cock now and then and that will be accepted!

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By *uck me in KentMan
5 days ago

Medway

Because my father died in his early 40s, as I approached 40-45 I began to get feelings of dread.

As I reached 50 I really began to enjoy life.

Life at 70 is just wonderful. Not because of sex but for many other reasons. I retired in August on my 70th and life is good. I won't say perfect, because everyone's idea of perfect is different, had I done things differently in my younger years then maybe life would be a little 'more' better. But I'm more than happy with my existence in the world.

I have health issues, I have mental health issues - Complex PTSD. But as a former soldier of the 70s and 80s health issues are an expected complication. But I've built in my own coping strategies and use them and my life skills and experiences to support others.

Sometimes opportunities come knocking at your door. Until you embrace them you never know what or who is around the corner.

Age is number, not countdown to death. Age is experience, use it to keep living and grow more experiences and memories

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By *ade crossTV/TS
5 days ago

chiselhurst

Your still young embrace it

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By *lex696Man
5 days ago

South West

Oh well , I think old is gold. I prefer older silver stocky guys who can take control and get what they want from a boy x

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