FabGuys.com forum: Coming out

By *obsub53 OP Man
2 weeks ago

guernsey

So closeted gay for 20 years + married and with grown up children. Should I come out to wife ? Love her dearly but want a dominant man to be with. Dipped toe in water and prefer

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By *oxleyMan
2 weeks ago

Wetherby

Nope !!!!

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By *eedsbearmanMan
2 weeks ago

Leeds

Yes !!!!

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By *onstant.Man
2 weeks ago

Middlesbrough

My wife has no idea I love cock. She's never going to know.

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By *anleybeatonMan
2 weeks ago

london

for her to face the fact that she never really knew you or the reality of your marriage and worrying her about telling your kids is a lot to put onto someone you think you might (somehow) love

don't be so *incredibly* selfish

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By *rMagicFingersMan
2 weeks ago

Bournemouth

"for her to face the fact that she never really knew you or the reality of your marriage and worrying her about telling your kids is a lot to put onto someone you think you might (somehow) love

don't be so *incredibly* selfish"

👍👍👍

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By *ick1965Man
2 weeks ago

Bangor

I think many of us who are married and have families, children etc would love to come out and be our true selves but in reality (in my humble opinion) it isn't really an option due to the pain and devastation it would cause. I would think long and hard before taking such a seismic decision.

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By *rMagicFingersMan
2 weeks ago

Bournemouth

I can't get my head around the fact that, in the 21st century, some gay men still feel that they have to live a lie and get married to a woman and have kids with her.

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By *ugged NorthernerMan
2 weeks ago

North East

No need to come out I’ll happily live the rest of my days without being open

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By *ymacMan
2 weeks ago

Derby

In today's world sexual orientation should not be an issue

I'm bi or more likely pam

My thoughts people are people regardless of biology

Re coming out only the individual can decide

But it's funny on a swinging site like this some people have a very narrow attitude

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By *WB and NSAMan
2 weeks ago

London

"So closeted gay for 20 years + married and with grown up children. Should I come out to wife ? Love her dearly but want a dominant man to be with. Dipped toe in water and prefer"

Don’t make any hasty decisions. The grass always seems greener. Ask yourself some deep soul searching questions. Are you financial able to make that move? etc. etc.

Being a single, divorced, poor, out gay man is not all it’s cracked out to be. It’s certainly not all about getting your rocks off everyday of the week.

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By *artin1963Man
2 weeks ago

London

My wife would be sad, and it could end our marrage.

My kids would be fine with it if thats what I wanted.

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By *weetpee9853Man
2 weeks ago

Exeter

I am married and grown up children i am 61 being having gay sex last 30 years she have no idea ,i tested and of coarse on prep .

When we were younger couldt come out.i got no plans to rock the boat we not had sex for last 3 years its no excus .we get on well long i dont take piss i can go out do my own activty .

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By *obsub53 OP Man
2 weeks ago

guernsey

Lots to think about, part of me wants to protect her. The other part is that want to be me, if she finds out by accident my preference than would that upset her more. She is my best mate too an probably where we should be. Don’t want to be selfish but see where that can be viewed. It was an error of judgement to get married but we have two great kids , had fantastic times and now live separate lives. No magic bullet

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By *im le2Man
2 weeks ago

aylestone leic

I'm not married but I wouldn't tell her. How do you think she will feel knowing for the past 20 years you've been cheating on her. You've kept it secret this long is upsetting her that important to you. And possibly ending your marriage.

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By *V ShazTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Haydock

By all means double your efforts for this new year and enjoy more cock.

Keep you love of cock from your wife.

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By *obsub53 OP Man
2 weeks ago

guernsey

Thanks for feedback

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By *nyonethereMan
2 weeks ago

Aberdeen

I'd advise you to stay in the closet and just enjoy your clandestine meetings, I'm a married faggot also and would are the wife to find out I have an Asian master who uses me for his own sexual pleasure

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By *ausagesMan
2 weeks ago

carlisle

OP this is tough

I grew up in a small rural Cumbrian village didn’t know any gay people

Going through puberty and my hormones kicked in and all I thought about was boys in my classroom (not girls)

I thought I’d go to hell for having such thoughts do didn’t act on it

Then aged 18 I toured Scandinavia (Denmark - Norway - Sweden) nowt happened in Norway & Sweden but in Copenhagen - plucked up courage to go into a gay bar

Long story short - met a Danish lad - 18 like me - we clicked and spent 5 amazing days together we met every day & he showed me round his city - he wasn’t out / parents didn’t know

I had to leave & return home - he was my first gay love / we parted at Kastrup Airport - both in tears and both in love - no mobile phones back then so we became pen pals for a while

It made my mind up as to what I wanted - but I went back to my little rural village and my sexless life

In my mid 20s a girl asked me out - I should’ve said no - but long story short part 2 - we dated, got engaged, no sex before marriage as both our families were into the church - our wedding night it went unconsummated - and it stayed like that for a while - I tried but she was having none of it - not interested

Then she says she’d like a baby so we had to do the deed / yes we did but she managed to get pregnant and from the day she told me she was with child until the day I left her 5 years later there was no sex - I tried - I’m not pushy so didn’t force myself on her but she just wasn’t interested

We eventually agreed to part after she wouldn’t join me going to see a marriage counsellor - she had her nice home & nice baby - but didn’t want me

I got out relatively young / to start a new life / the life I most wanted - I’m on great terms with her today - and I know for a fact she’s never had another man after me - our sons grown up and he’s cool that his Dads gay

I came out to my family and they are great - I’m happy middle aged gay man

You know inside the life you want - it sometimes doesn’t happen the way you try to live it - looking back I yearned for my first love in Copenhagen but if I hadn’t met my ex wife / I wouldn’t have the wonderful son I have right now - Today I’m happy and that’s what really counts

OP I think you will be torn to pieces about your situation - life’s not easy you just have to try & be happy, good luck

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By *odger300Man
2 weeks ago

Inverurie

Steady man think long and sensibly about this

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By *erscumdumpMan
2 weeks ago

Watford

Only you can decide if and when it's right for you. Its usually when the pain of lying outweighs the pain of not being your true self.l,.or vicr-versa. All i can say is all the married men i know that did come out to their wife and family went through a terribly tough time, but are happy now. Good luck.

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By *sexMan
2 weeks ago

ipswich

Be careful for what you wish. There could be months of trouble and turmoil and this time next year you could be on your own and deeply regretting it.

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By *aveagoMan
2 weeks ago

Southend on sea

If you come out you'll never be able to undo that..it's a big risk and you won't be sure what her reaction may be. She may well be aware of your sexuality but is happy with the status quo.

May be worth seeking some private counselling to further explore your feelings.

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By *arlislebbladMan
2 weeks ago

carlisle

[Removed by poster at 03/01/26 21:21:18]

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By *acingfanMan
2 weeks ago

Huddersfield

"In today's world sexual orientation should not be an issue

I'm bi or more likely pam

Pam Ann? Pamela Ewing?

More seriously, what is pam?

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By *arlislebbladMan
2 weeks ago

carlisle

"OP this is tough