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Secret gay married men

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By *omo69king OP   Man
4 days ago

Northampton

How many guys are secret gays but married???

ME !!!! I LOVE COCK

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By *erscumdumpMan
4 days ago

Watford

Secret from who? If you mean your wife, she knows already. Unless you're married to a total imbecile, which hopefully you're not.

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By *xLedZepxx2Man
4 days ago

Didcot


"How many guys are secret gays but married???

ME !!!! I LOVE COCK"

According to your profile, you're bi-curious, so not gay.

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By *3versMan
4 days ago

glasgow

In the bad old days when it was illegal to have gay sex that was the reason for being gay and married. Nowadays, there's no legal impediment to this so why are there still so many "secret married gay" men.

I really do pity and feel sorry for the wives

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By *ornyguy911Man
4 days ago

harrogate

Am bi but wife knows. Don't like it but she knows

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By *ot older guyTV/TS
4 days ago

exmouth


"In the bad old days when it was illegal to have gay sex that was the reason for being gay and married. Nowadays, there's no legal impediment to this so why are there still so many "secret married gay" men.

I really do pity and feel sorry for the wives "

Why

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By *IPMANMan
4 days ago

LONDON WEST

Can't say I am interested in a sex partners marital status..not my concern.

Let them deal with their guilt in their way if they have any.

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By *erscumdumpMan
4 days ago

Watford


"Can't say I am interested in a sex partners marital status..not my concern.

Let them deal with their guilt in their way if they have any."

👏 👏 👏

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By *hillMan
4 days ago

Great Yarmouth. lowestoft

Me to love cock

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By *idsguy81Man
4 days ago

mids

I’m bi and married but she knows

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By *ittlecock321Man
4 days ago

Southwell

Presumably no sex in the marriage then!

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By *lackbootzMan
4 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"How many guys are secret gays but married???

ME !!!! I LOVE COCK"

You’re a bi-curious man in a marriage with a woman.

Perhaps you have furtive sex with other men in similar situations.

You’re not a “secret gay”.

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By *lackbootzMan
4 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"Am bi but wife knows. Don't like it but she knows "

So you’re bisexual and not secret.

So you’re not a “secret gay” either.

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By *lackbootzMan
4 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"I’m bi and married but she knows "

So you’re also bisexual and not in secret.

So another non “secret gay”.

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By *rangerMan
4 days ago

merseyside

I need someone local to help me take cock in my mouth anyone help

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By *lackbootzMan
4 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"Me to love cock "

And you’re bisexual.

So you’re not a “secret gay”. (Though perhaps your bisexuality is hidden from a partner.)

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By *lackbootzMan
4 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"I need someone local to help me take cock in my mouth anyone help "

And you’re bisexual.

Maybe you need to look about for the shadowy cabal of “secret gays” to fulfil your oral needs.

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By *lackbootzMan
4 days ago

Hayes, Middx

This thread is ridiculous.

How can you identify as bi-sexual or bi-curious and not know what it means?!

Where is the shadowy cabal of the secret gays?!

We’ve been hoodwinked.

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By *ovefist84Man
4 days ago

Oswestry

I am married to a woman, she knows I am bisexual, but doesn't let me meet men for sex, so I "have to" sneak around

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By *lastactionheroMan
4 days ago

Liverpool

I am a bi married that has secret gay sex.

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By *erscumdumpMan
4 days ago

Watford


"I am married to a woman, she knows I am bisexual, but doesn't let me meet men for sex, so I "have to" sneak around"

She knows about your "sneaking" unless she's an imbecile.

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By *lackbootzMan
4 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"I am married to a woman, she knows I am bisexual, but doesn't let me meet men for sex, so I "have to" sneak around"

So you’re not a “secret gay”.

You’re openly bisexual but hide your meeting men from your spouse.

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By *lackbootzMan
4 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"I am a bi married that has secret gay sex."

So you’re bisexual and married.

You hide your assignations with men from your spouse. You’re not “secretly gay”. You’re secretly bisexual.

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By *hameleon62Man
4 days ago

Tamworth

Agree

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By *lackbootzMan
4 days ago

Hayes, Middx

Current tally:-

Openly gay men: IIIII = 5

Bi men attached to women having sex with men in secret (they think…): IIII = 4

Bi men attached to women having sex with men openly or unsuccessfully concealing it: III = 3

Bi men with no attachments specified: III = 3

“Secret gays”: 0

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By *ingslynnMan
4 days ago

Grantham

A secret dresser here. Trying to please

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By *0yguyMan
4 days ago

Cumberland

Secretly gay - I no longer have sex with women, only men.

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By *aveB430Man
4 days ago

Tipperary /Dublin

Another here

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By *volasLightMan
4 days ago

Manchester

Not married but secretly bisexual x

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By *nyonethereMan
4 days ago

Aberdeen

Been married to over 40 years and still prefer cock, any time I get to myself I'll have a cock in my mouth or in my pussy

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By *odameMan
4 days ago

Tenerife - I am NOT in

Despite the attempt at identity policing in this thread, secretly gay men exist.

Being bisexual can be a permanent or transitory experience, a gay man dabbling in heterosexual sex or a straight man in homosexual sex does not make a person forever bisexual.

Many men who prefer homosexual sex entered into a heterosexual marriage due to societal pressure but have never identified as bisexual, performing sexually with the wife out of duty rather than for pleasure, even fathering children, many are relieved when marital sexual activity stops.

Many may have continued having homosexual sex during their marriage, others put it aside.

Remaining in a heterosexual but sexless marriage and secretly only having sex with men rather than other women further indicates they prefer homosexual sex.

So identifying as secretly gay is valid.

They have no obligation to identify as bisexual, it is their self identity.

People can choose whatever labels they wish, or none at all.

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By *erscumdumpMan
4 days ago

Watford

I dont disagree, there are plenty of now gay men who were once conventionally straight, but it only works for guys actively fucking men if we make the assumption that marriages are sexless and theyre not fucking women. If hes fucking his Mrs he ain't gay, hes bi. Straight men having sex with women dont magically become gay any more than gay men magically become straight. The middle ground is bi. I find it quite sad that so many do seem to be stuck in a situation intended for their straight persona. No judgement, as I've done ot myself.

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By *xLedZepxx2Man
4 days ago

Didcot


"Despite the attempt at identity policing in this thread, secretly gay men exist.

"

Yes there are closeted gay men, however not so many closeted gay men that are married to women these days, back in the 1970s and 80s due to social pressures it happened more often. My particular post I pointed out that the OP claimed to be bi-curious according to his profile, so not gay, which begs the question, who is he hiding being gay from on a site like this?

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By *odameMan
4 days ago

Tenerife - I am NOT in


"... If hes fucking his Mrs he ain't gay, hes bi..."

Think you missed my point, which was that nobody has the right to an opinion on how someone else identifies.

I specifically wrote about men who only perform sexually out of duty and identify as secretly gay, which is the thread topic, not those who actually enjoy sex with their wife and identify as bi.

Their self identity isn’t invalidated just because it doesn't make sense to others, it is theirs and it exists, nothing anybody else says or does will stop it from existing.

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By *astDevonGuyMan
4 days ago

East Devon

All the touchiness over labels , is really tiresome.

Have sex with same, opposite sex = bisexual

Exclusively have sex with same sex = homosexual

Exclusively have sex with the opposite sex = heterosexual.

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By *tmguylookingMan
4 days ago

Chesterfield

Who even cares how anyone labels themself.

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By *lackbootzMan
4 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"...Despite the attempt at identity policing in this thread, secretly gay men exist..."

You've missed the point UTTERLY. By a trillion miles.

The thread was entitled "Secret gay married men" which was exactly one of those unnecessary labels given to himself and others like him by the OP (who then doesn't describe himself as gay in his profile...)

We don't really need any labels. But we live in this bizarre modern world of self-identity with everyone trying to outdo the next.

As a gay man and nothing but a gay man you'll have to excuse my wish not to see my own sexuality erased by all this vogue cis-trans-bi-every man is some % gay malarkey and my brittle frustration with people claiming to be gay who clearly aren't. Everyone has big boots on the internet - but half of those commenting here don't have the balls to tell the real world about themselves truthfully.

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By *erscumdumpMan
4 days ago

Watford


"... If hes fucking his Mrs he ain't gay, hes bi...

Think you missed my point, which was that nobody has the right to an opinion on how someone else identifies.

I specifically wrote about men who only perform sexually out of duty and identify as secretly gay, which is the thread topic, not those who actually enjoy sex with their wife and identify as bi.

Their self identity isn’t invalidated just because it doesn't make sense to others, it is theirs and it exists, nothing anybody else says or does will stop it from existing.

"

Of course people have a right to an opinion! You could call yourself a lampost, and i dont have to agree with you. Someone can say they have sex with women and men and call themselves gay, and I dont have to agree with that either, and I dont know many people gay or otherwise who would. Doesn't cancel the label they put on themselves. I think we'd be hard pressed to find any resources to say that men who have sex with any gender are gay. That bit is quite academic. As someone else said, the ongoing debate on here about how people label themselves is quite tiresome. We could all be having sex with lampposts for all we know

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By *lackbootzMan
4 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"... We could all be having sex with lampposts for all we know... "

I only have sex with bi lampposts. The gay ones can give you STDs - you should check out the threads about them.

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By *erscumdumpMan
4 days ago

Watford

Bloody gay lamposts spoiling it for everyone, and shame on the bi ones for hogging all the men. I expect the femal bi non-conforming lampposts are lurking someone ready to pick off the feeble ones.

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By *airyScot40Man
4 days ago

Glasgow

I think I am probably what the OP was referring to, but it’s just a word. By my definition of “gay” that’s what I am. That’s all I can say.

My profile says it as best it can with the options available.

I can say that there are very few men I have ever found whom I’d say are in the same category as I put myself. I can think of less than 5 or so over the years.

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By *erscumdumpMan
4 days ago

Watford


"I think I am probably what the OP was referring to, but it’s just a word. By my definition of “gay” that’s what I am. That’s all I can say.

My profile says it as best it can with the options available.

I can say that there are very few men I have ever found whom I’d say are in the same category as I put myself. I can think of less than 5 or so over the years."

Indeed, last time I checked, marital status wasn't used to define sexuality. Thats defined by who your cock springs to life for.

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By *umquakeMan
4 days ago

Boston

My wife persuaded me to play with cock many years ago, but I haven't heard from her since 2019. She enjoyed watching me play in front of her but didn't like it when I went off by myself.

Speaking of which, when I left the wife for my new partner I had to tell her about fab life and my passion for cock before we committed. She was cool about it and loves to watch me play with a guy and sometimes share one between us. She never has a problem with me nipping out for some cock fun.

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By *hil96Man
4 days ago

Portsmouth

Well, i havn't had sex with my wife for over 2 years. Only with men. Its cock that makea me hard theae days, not fanny. I once put myself up on here as gay in my profile, but was shot down for it, saying that i have no right, because im with a woman and that makws me bi. In my heart, i only want sex with, and eventually possibly want a relationship eith a guy. In my head im gay. And thats all that matters to me. X

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By *lackbootzMan
4 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"Well, i havn't had sex with my wife for over 2 years. Only with men. Its cock that makea me hard theae days, not fanny. I once put myself up on here as gay in my profile, but was shot down for it, saying that i have no right, because im with a woman and that makws me bi. In my heart, i only want sex with, and eventually possibly want a relationship eith a guy. In my head im gay. And thats all that matters to me. X"

At what juncture does your heart tell you that you should tell this woman in your life that you now only want to be sexual with men with a view to a relationship with another man?

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By *odameMan
4 days ago

Tenerife - I am NOT in


".

Of course people have a right to an opinion! You could call yourself a lampost, and i dont have to agree with you. Someone can say they have sex with women and men and call themselves gay, and I dont have to agree with that either, and I dont know many people gay or otherwise who would. Doesn't cancel the label they put on themselves. I think we'd be hard pressed to find any resources to say that men who have sex with any gender are gay. That bit is quite academic. As someone else said, the ongoing debate on here about how people label themselves is quite tiresome. We could all be having sex with lampposts for all we know "

You have no 'right' to an opinion on a persons self identity, just as with their other thoughts and emotions.

Telling another person their self identity is wrong is also not just opinion, it is gaslighting.

Belittling self identity by comparing it to identifying as an inanimate object is ridiculous and juvenile.

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By *odameMan
4 days ago

Tenerife - I am NOT in


"...Despite the attempt at identity policing in this thread, secretly gay men exist...

You've missed the point UTTERLY. By a trillion miles.

The thread was entitled "Secret gay married men" which was exactly one of those unnecessary labels given to himself and others like him by the OP (who then doesn't describe himself as gay in his profile...)

We don't really need any labels. But we live in this bizarre modern world of self-identity with everyone trying to outdo the next.

As a gay man and nothing but a gay man you'll have to excuse my wish not to see my own sexuality erased by all this vogue cis-trans-bi-every man is some % gay malarkey and my brittle frustration with people claiming to be gay who clearly aren't. Everyone has big boots on the internet - but half of those commenting here don't have the balls to tell the real world about themselves truthfully."

Make your mind up, you say the labels are unnecessary but you are angry yours is being erased

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By *3versMan
4 days ago

glasgow


".

Of course people have a right to an opinion! You could call yourself a lampost, and i dont have to agree with you. Someone can say they have sex with women and men and call themselves gay, and I dont have to agree with that either, and I dont know many people gay or otherwise who would. Doesn't cancel the label they put on themselves. I think we'd be hard pressed to find any resources to say that men who have sex with any gender are gay. That bit is quite academic. As someone else said, the ongoing debate on here about how people label themselves is quite tiresome. We could all be having sex with lampposts for all we know

You have no 'right' to an opinion on a persons self identity, just as with their other thoughts and emotions.

Telling another person their self identity is wrong is also not just opinion, it is gaslighting.

Belittling self identity by comparing it to identifying as an inanimate object is ridiculous and juvenile."

I'm a gay man, I do not have sex with women under any circumstances, men who have sex with women are not gay. Do not erase my sexuality

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By *erscumdumpMan
4 days ago

Watford


".

Of course people have a right to an opinion! You could call yourself a lampost, and i dont have to agree with you. Someone can say they have sex with women and men and call themselves gay, and I dont have to agree with that either, and I dont know many people gay or otherwise who would. Doesn't cancel the label they put on themselves. I think we'd be hard pressed to find any resources to say that men who have sex with any gender are gay. That bit is quite academic. As someone else said, the ongoing debate on here about how people label themselves is quite tiresome. We could all be having sex with lampposts for all we know

You have no 'right' to an opinion on a persons self identity, just as with their other thoughts and emotions.

Telling another person their self identity is wrong is also not just opinion, it is gaslighting.

Belittling self identity by comparing it to identifying as an inanimate object is ridiculous and juvenile."

No, what is juvenile is pandering to a crowd who think they can call themselves anything they want, even when what they call themselves is wrong. If you're fucking men and women, you ain't gay, however much you stamp your feet and insist you are. Not only is it false, it diminishes actual gay people. You cant appropriate sexuality simply by saying you're one thing or another. Its an intrinsic part of who someone is, and if sticking your cock in a woman is your thing, intrinsically you ain't gay, you're bi or straight.

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By *erscumdumpMan
4 days ago

Watford


".

Of course people have a right to an opinion! You could call yourself a lampost, and i dont have to agree with you. Someone can say they have sex with women and men and call themselves gay, and I dont have to agree with that either, and I dont know many people gay or otherwise who would. Doesn't cancel the label they put on themselves. I think we'd be hard pressed to find any resources to say that men who have sex with any gender are gay. That bit is quite academic. As someone else said, the ongoing debate on here about how people label themselves is quite tiresome. We could all be having sex with lampposts for all we know

You have no 'right' to an opinion on a persons self identity, just as with their other thoughts and emotions.

Telling another person their self identity is wrong is also not just opinion, it is gaslighting.

Belittling self identity by comparing it to identifying as an inanimate object is ridiculous and juvenile.

I'm a gay man, I do not have sex with women under any circumstances, men who have sex with women are not gay. Do not erase my sexuality"

Too fucking right! 👏 👏

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By *3versMan
4 days ago

glasgow


".

Of course people have a right to an opinion! You could call yourself a lampost, and i dont have to agree with you. Someone can say they have sex with women and men and call themselves gay, and I dont have to agree with that either, and I dont know many people gay or otherwise who would. Doesn't cancel the label they put on themselves. I think we'd be hard pressed to find any resources to say that men who have sex with any gender are gay. That bit is quite academic. As someone else said, the ongoing debate on here about how people label themselves is quite tiresome. We could all be having sex with lampposts for all we know

You have no 'right' to an opinion on a persons self identity, just as with their other thoughts and emotions.

Telling another person their self identity is wrong is also not just opinion, it is gaslighting.

Belittling self identity by comparing it to identifying as an inanimate object is ridiculous and juvenile.

No, what is juvenile is pandering to a crowd who think they can call themselves anything they want, even when what they call themselves is wrong. If you're fucking men and women, you ain't gay, however much you stamp your feet and insist you are. Not only is it false, it diminishes actual gay people. You cant appropriate sexuality simply by saying you're one thing or another. Its an intrinsic part of who someone is, and if sticking your cock in a woman is your thing, intrinsically you ain't gay, you're bi or straight. "

Absolutely agree, I've said this before the last place I'd expect to have my sexuality diminished is on a site that caters for men seeking men for sex

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By *amie87hMan
4 days ago

Poulton

Not me!

I’m secretly bisexual/sissy wannabe!

And absolutely nobody knows…. Well, apart from you guys now, and the guys who’s cocks have been in me haha

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By *uckmeslow555Man
4 days ago

oakham

I’m bi love cock fun

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By *leethorpebiMan
4 days ago

Waltham

As I have got der I have been more into cock, consider myself gay now

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By *lackbootzMan
4 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"… You have no 'right' to an opinion on a persons self identity, just as with their other thoughts and emotions.

Telling another person their self identity is wrong is also not just opinion, it is gaslighting..."

You are a perfect embodiment of the ridiculously smug, self-identifying gender claptrap that is bedevilling us all.

No wonder you have the gay men on the thread up in arms with your homophobic trash.

I’ll take you literally: don’t gaslight me telling me what you think a gay man is and how I should fit into your expectations. The absolute cheek of it.

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By *odameMan
3 days ago

Tenerife - I am NOT in


"You are a perfect embodiment of the ridiculously smug, self-identifying gender claptrap that is bedevilling us all.

No wonder you have the gay men on the thread up in arms with your homophobic trash.

I’ll take you literally: don’t gaslight me telling me what you think a gay man is and how I should fit into your expectations. The absolute cheek of it. "

Being up in arms about people accepting others as gay and saying it diminishes your identity is Identical to the logic of those that consider giving others rights diminishes their own.

There is no logic to playing the homophobic card for actually welcoming those that identify as gay.

Nothing I wrote is gatekeeping who can identify as gay, but there has been gatekeeping on others who posted in agreement with the OP, totally missing the glaring point that the OP identifying as bi on their profile actually reinforces their confession to being 'secretly gay'

The post isn't about men enjoying sex with both men and women and that identify as bisexual, it is about men who are in a now sexless relationship or where they only engage in sex as a marital duty, have no interest in women and have come to the realization they are only attracted to men.

Telling someone that was influenced by society/family into a heterosexual marriage that their identity as secretly being gay is invalid is the equivalent to saying being gay is a phase they will get over. That is true homophobia, and what probably coerced them into the situation.

Being unable to comprehend that sexual activity can take place without emotion, an inability to understand or the belief that you have any right to challenge how another person self identifies is a you problem.

Men that felt obliged to enter into marriage are obviously susceptible to societal pressures, empathy and support in what is supposed to be a safe space should be offered, not judgmental hostility.

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By *erscumdumpMan
3 days ago

Watford

Your entire rant is based on assumption that the OP is either not having sex with his Mrs, or fucking out of (your words) duty. We dont know that.

Here's the thing, there's are actual gay men, and there are people that call themselves gay but who are bi. The OP profile says he is bi. Bi people getting huffy when challenged by actual gay people is pretty melt behaviour. Nobody is excluding them, nobody is demanding they change. We're simply asking them to stop pretending to be something they are not and use language appropriate to them.

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By *iggreenockMan
3 days ago

Greenock

Don't you mean Married an bisexual?

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By *arriedbiMan
3 days ago

Aldershot

My wife didn't know I was bi X she don't know I now gay X we don't have sex any way so that aided my transition from bi to gay

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By *erscumdumpMan
3 days ago

Watford


"My wife didn't know I was bi X she don't know I now gay X we don't have sex any way so that aided my transition from bi to gay "

She knows 😆 You think she dont know, but she does.

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By *ornyJosh_247Man
3 days ago

Preston

We obviously share everything but don’t mind those secret bi guys

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By *jsucksTV/TS
3 days ago

Chesham

Most of the guysI meet here tend to be married and keep it secret from their wifes.It tends to be a bit harder when you are crossdressing. My x would never had gone along with it when we were maaried. Now we devorced she has no problem with me as her gay crossdressing friend we meet up for shopping trips and lunchand gossip about guy. Would be nice to meet a single guy. But if they werent married they pronably use gay dating apps rather than hook up sites. "Curious" always makes me chuckle

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By *xLedZepxx2Man
3 days ago

Didcot


"…

You are a perfect embodiment of the ridiculously smug, self-identifying gender claptrap that is bedevilling us all.

No wonder you have the gay men on the thread up in arms with your homophobic trash.

I’ll take you literally: don’t gaslight me telling me what you think a gay man is and how I should fit into your expectations. The absolute cheek of it. "

Absolutely 👏👏👏👏👏

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By *odameMan
3 days ago

Tenerife - I am NOT in


"Your entire rant is based on assumption that the OP is either not having sex with his Mrs, or fucking out of (your words) duty. We dont know that.

Here's the thing, there's are actual gay men, and there are people that call themselves gay but who are bi. The OP profile says he is bi. Bi people getting huffy when challenged by actual gay people is pretty melt behaviour. Nobody is excluding them, nobody is demanding they change. We're simply asking them to stop pretending to be something they are not and use language appropriate to them."

Not a rant, I wrote calmly in sentences and paragraphs without any profanity, unlike the responses.

No assumptions made about the OP, I wrote about people I know personally, including someone who chose to message me privately that it described them and their situation.

The OP being "secretly gay" means their profile isn't going to be their truth, many on here aren't. Plenty of gay guys I know use bi on here as they know there is some prejudice against gay guys.

They are using "language appropriate to them"

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By *airyScot40Man
3 days ago

Glasgow

While I won’t engage in any argument or respond to judgmental posts, I’m happy to answer any questions about why I regard myself as gay while married to a woman. I suppose it’s my own definition but I don’t think it’s particularly controversial. But I don’t see many people around who are the “same” as me. Far, far fewer than I thought there would be, actually.

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By *erscumdumpMan
3 days ago

Watford


"Your entire rant is based on assumption that the OP is either not having sex with his Mrs, or fucking out of (your words) duty. We dont know that.

Here's the thing, there's are actual gay men, and there are people that call themselves gay but who are bi. The OP profile says he is bi. Bi people getting huffy when challenged by actual gay people is pretty melt behaviour. Nobody is excluding them, nobody is demanding they change. We're simply asking them to stop pretending to be something they are not and use language appropriate to them.

Not a rant, I wrote calmly in sentences and paragraphs without any profanity, unlike the responses.

No assumptions made about the OP, I wrote about people I know personally, including someone who chose to message me privately that it described them and their situation.

The OP being "secretly gay" means their profile isn't going to be their truth, many on here aren't. Plenty of gay guys I know use bi on here as they know there is some prejudice against gay guys.

They are using "language appropriate to them"

"

The post isnt about people you know personally. They're not here, but im sure they can advocate for themselves. The post is by a bi man referring to married men as gay. Its been challenged as most married men are not gay. Some might be, for whatever bonkers reason, but most arent. The ones still fucking thier wives, even if out of some kind of grim duty are definitely not gay. Sexuality is about who your dick gets hard for. I'm not sure why you are so het up about someones truth, which is actually not true and an appropriation of a defined group of people, being challenged by the very group they've inaccurately put themselves in. That's illogical. Sure, anyone can call themselves whatever they like, but they should expect to be challenged when they're not what they've identified themselves as. The challenge isn't erasing them, or saying they cant call themselves anything they like, it's just calling out bullshit. Simple as that. On an open forum it's fair to say bullshit will be called out. You've banged on about "truth". My truth, my sexuality, my identity, my sense of belonging, is real. Thiers isn't. They might be having so-called gay sex and they might refer to themselves as gay, but if theyre also having so-called straight sex, they ain't gay.

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By *ellMan
3 days ago

Ingham

I consider myself straight when I married only having one bad experience with a older guy when I was a teenager . I now consider myself bi and secretly meet men for sex. My wife dose not know about my bisexuality. If I was not married and left with the choice of only meeting or even haveing a relationship with one or the other I would choose a man dose this now make me gay?

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By *ishop666Man
3 days ago

ls19

Just playing options both are enjoyable

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By *erscumdumpMan
3 days ago

Watford


"I consider myself straight when I married only having one bad experience with a older guy when I was a teenager . I now consider myself bi and secretly meet men for sex. My wife dose not know about my bisexuality. If I was not married and left with the choice of only meeting or even haveing a relationship with one or the other I would choose a man dose this now make me gay?"

If you're having sex with your wife, or any woman, you ain't gay. It really doesn't matter what you call yourself, so long as you're honest with yourself about it.

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By *IPMANMan
3 days ago

LONDON WEST

Oh God, life used to be much easier...

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By *ichael2000Man
3 days ago

All Over

As I get older, I realise labels are so redundant.

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By *damb00Man
3 days ago

Leicestershire


"As I get older, I realise labels are so redundant."

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By *lackbootzMan
3 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"… Bi people getting huffy when challenged by actual gay people is pretty melt behaviour. Nobody is excluding them, nobody is demanding they change. We're simply asking them to stop pretending to be something they are not and use language appropriate to them..."

Thank you for putting this in such simple and clear terms.

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By *lackbootzMan
3 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"… Plenty of gay guys I know use bi on here as they know there is some prejudice against gay guys.

They are using "language appropriate to them"…

"

Reading through some of your patronising and convoluted explications in several posts above about why bi men are allowed to have “their own truth” and self-identify in whatever terms and ways they fancy… whilst at the same time the feelings of some of the gay men in the thread can be so easily discounted (they’re not getting “their own truth” it seems)…

… I’m currently using some “language appropriate to me”.

It’s a damned good job you can’t hear it.

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By *wadbisexualMan
2 days ago

Castle Gresley

If honest.. I guess this is me.

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By *reakawayMan
2 days ago

Black country

Me

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By *actilePigMan
2 days ago

LINCOLN

I'm Brian...and so's my wife

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By *ere4funMan
2 days ago

glossop

Mine knows and it even turns her on so I’m happy!

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By *ranform71Man
2 days ago

Hinckley

My wife knows. She has no problem with me meeting men. But, I have to tell her all about it.

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By *teelballsMan
2 days ago

central london


"Your entire rant is based on assumption that the OP is either not having sex with his Mrs, or fucking out of (your words) duty. We dont know that.

Here's the thing, there's are actual gay men, and there are people that call themselves gay but who are bi. The OP profile says he is bi. Bi people getting huffy when challenged by actual gay people is pretty melt behaviour. Nobody is excluding them, nobody is demanding they change. We're simply asking them to stop pretending to be something they are not and use language appropriate to them.

Not a rant, I wrote calmly in sentences and paragraphs without any profanity, unlike the responses.

No assumptions made about the OP, I wrote about people I know personally, including someone who chose to message me privately that it described them and their situation.

The OP being "secretly gay" means their profile isn't going to be their truth, many on here aren't. Plenty of gay guys I know use bi on here as they know there is some prejudice against gay guys.

They are using "language appropriate to them"

The post isnt about people you know personally. They're not here, but im sure they can advocate for themselves. The post is by a bi man referring to married men as gay. Its been challenged as most married men are not gay. Some might be, for whatever bonkers reason, but most arent. The ones still fucking thier wives, even if out of some kind of grim duty are definitely not gay. Sexuality is about who your dick gets hard for. I'm not sure why you are so het up about someones truth, which is actually not true and an appropriation of a defined group of people, being challenged by the very group they've inaccurately put themselves in. That's illogical. Sure, anyone can call themselves whatever they like, but they should expect to be challenged when they're not what they've identified themselves as. The challenge isn't erasing them, or saying they cant call themselves anything they like, it's just calling out bullshit. Simple as that. On an open forum it's fair to say bullshit will be called out. You've banged on about "truth". My truth, my sexuality, my identity, my sense of belonging, is real. Thiers isn't. They might be having so-called gay sex and they might refer to themselves as gay, but if theyre also having so-called straight sex, they ain't gay."

What makes this thread so ridiculous is that. as i write,, some 18,500 guys are online. I would say at least 18,450 of whom couldn’t give a flying shit what any of you think, whatever you say.

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By *amie87hMan
2 days ago

Poulton

Possible to keep it secret. Not everyone can spot that stuff. If mine knew, I’d definitely know about it.

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By *ot older guyTV/TS
2 days ago

exmouth


"Your entire rant is based on assumption that the OP is either not having sex with his Mrs, or fucking out of (your words) duty. We dont know that.

Here's the thing, there's are actual gay men, and there are people that call themselves gay but who are bi. The OP profile says he is bi. Bi people getting huffy when challenged by actual gay people is pretty melt behaviour. Nobody is excluding them, nobody is demanding they change. We're simply asking them to stop pretending to be something they are not and use language appropriate to them."

What like men who dress as women and women who dress like men

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By *ot older guyTV/TS
2 days ago

exmouth


"I consider myself straight when I married only having one bad experience with a older guy when I was a teenager . I now consider myself bi and secretly meet men for sex. My wife dose not know about my bisexuality. If I was not married and left with the choice of only meeting or even haveing a relationship with one or the other I would choose a man dose this now make me gay?

If you're having sex with your wife, or any woman, you ain't gay. It really doesn't matter what you call yourself, so long as you're honest with yourself about it."

Funny that,most not all gay men have had sex with a woman at some point in theyre life

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By *ot older guyTV/TS
2 days ago

exmouth


"Possible to keep it secret. Not everyone can spot that stuff. If mine knew, I’d definitely know about it."

Exactly

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By *lackbootzMan
2 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"…Funny that,most not all gay men have had sex with a woman at some point in theyre life…"

NO… most gay men have NOT had sex with a woman at some point in their life… Due to the fact they are… (wait for it)…. GAY.

The Forum has become suffused with bi men who are apparently experts on being gay. Like the “new women” have cocks… the “new gays” fuck women…

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By *erscumdumpMan
2 days ago

Watford

Men still going around thinking the woman they are married to, live with, financially shackled to, who shares every aspect of day to day life, have no clue who thier own husband is. It's comedy gold.

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By *ohnnyangerMan
2 days ago

.


"…Funny that,most not all gay men have had sex with a woman at some point in theyre life…

NO… most gay men have NOT had sex with a woman at some point in their life… Due to the fact they are… (wait for it)…. GAY.

The Forum has become suffused with bi men who are apparently experts on being gay. Like the “new women” have cocks… the “new gays” fuck women…

"

I mean is that true? The general age group here will have had sex with women at some point due to society. It's seems a nonsense to say most gay men have never slept with women ever.

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By *lackbootzMan
2 days ago

Hayes, Middx

[Removed by poster at 11/01/26 20:56:09]

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By *lackbootzMan
2 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"…Funny that,most not all gay men have had sex with a woman at some point in theyre life…

NO… most gay men have NOT had sex with a woman at some point in their life… Due to the fact they are… (wait for it)…. GAY.

The Forum has become suffused with bi men who are apparently experts on being gay. Like the “new women” have cocks… the “new gays” fuck women…

I mean is that true? The general age group here will have had sex with women at some point due to society. It's seems a nonsense to say most gay men have never slept with women ever."

As a self-identifying gay man, how many women have you slept with? If you’ve had partners who are gay (as opposed to being bi), how many of them are you aware had slept with women? How many gay (as opposed to being bi) friends of yours (where you know something about their lives and pasts to have enough knowledge) have slept with women?

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By *ohnnyangerMan
2 days ago

.


"…Funny that,most not all gay men have had sex with a woman at some point in theyre life…

NO… most gay men have NOT had sex with a woman at some point in their life… Due to the fact they are… (wait for it)…. GAY.

The Forum has become suffused with bi men who are apparently experts on being gay. Like the “new women” have cocks… the “new gays” fuck women…

I mean is that true? The general age group here will have had sex with women at some point due to society. It's seems a nonsense to say most gay men have never slept with women ever.

As a self-identifying gay man, how many women have you slept with? If you’ve had partners who are gay (as opposed to being bi), how many of them are you aware had slept with women? How many gay (as opposed to being bi) friends of yours (where you know something about their lives and pasts to have enough knowledge) have slept with women?

"

I haven't.

My husband was previously married to a woman due to society.

Lots of my gay friends tried it as teens.

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By *el1234Man
2 days ago

Santry

Yep that's me living the dream 😂😭

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By *odameMan
23 hours ago

Tenerife - I am NOT in


" The post isnt about people you know personally. They're not here, but im sure they can advocate for themselves. "

Now a gatekeeper to the forum, it is an open forum, I can use whatever examples I wish.


" The post is by a bi man referring to married men as gay. Its been challenged as most married men are not gay. "

Assumption.

The OP confessed that they are married and secretly gay, you are fixated on the profile. We all know profiles are not fully representative. What the OP wrote in the post is relevant, not their profile. They have no obligation to change their profile settings.

You also have no knowledge as to the OP's marital sexual activity, they did not disclose it.


" Some might be, for whatever bonkers reason, but most arent. "

Using terminology such as "bonkers" only reinforces demonstration of a lack of ability to understand the complexities of sexuality beyond ones own experiences and point of view.


" The ones still fucking thier wives, even if out of some kind of grim duty are definitely not gay. Sexuality is about who your dick gets hard for. "

Sexuality is beyond an erect penis, try applying that logic to those with erectile dysfunction or those that enjoy bottoming but do not get hard.


" I'm not sure why you are so het up about someones truth, which is actually not true and an appropriation of a defined group of people, being challenged by the very group they've inaccurately put themselves in. "

I am not "het up" - I am challenging the invalidation of a persons self identity and bullying.


" ... Sure, anyone can call themselves whatever they like, but they should expect to be challenged when they're not what they've identified themselves as. The challenge isn't erasing them, or saying they cant call themselves anything they like, it's just calling out bullshit. Simple as that. "

Saying a person can identify how they want but then saying it is invalid contradicts itself.


" On an open forum it's fair to say bullshit will be called out. "

As will invalidating others self identity and bullying.


" You've banged on about "truth". My truth, my sexuality, my identity, my sense of belonging, is real. Thiers isn't. "

"Theirs isn't" - again, invalidating someone else's self identity, it is theirs not yours.


" They might be having so-called gay sex and they might refer to themselves as gay, but if theyre also having so-called straight sex, they ain't gay."

Gay is not limited to signifying a male homosexual, many homosexual men reject it and use alternative terminology, it would not be appropriate to bully them into a narrow definition based on one's own perspective either.

It's use in regard to sexuality began in demonstrations calling for equality by men and women who were homosexual, bisexual and transexual (transexual being the term used in that era)

The chant "we are as Good As You" "we are G-A-Y" became "we are Gay".

Lesbian and Gay was next, feminist homosexual women didn't want to be associated with men, it further evolved into LGB, LGBT and the further iterations that continue in an evolving society.

"The Gay community" is still often used to describe non heterosexual members of society, it is not limited to homosexual males.

There is no international committee or definition of what boxes you need to tick or to not be doing to identify as Gay. Nobody owns it nor has any authority to determine the criteria required to identify as Gay.

If anything is being erased, it is the term homosexual.

However, the definition of homosexual is having sex with the same sex, again there is no international committee stating that to identify as homosexual you need to be exclusively having sex with the same sex, as sexuality is more than the physical act, hence why men who have sex with men identify as being straight.

They may not match the attributes you consider to define your sexuality, and that is the beauty of self identity, theirs does not belong to you.

As far as erasure of identity goes, sexuality is not a persons entire identity, be a pretty shallow existence if that were the sum of ones identity.

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By *erscumdumpMan
23 hours ago

Watford

Oh dear, someone seems triggered to spout off assumptions-led nonsense again. You can identify your sexuality however you like fella, and you can advocate for others to identify their sexuality however they like too, and you can expect to be challenged when that identification is false. It's that simple.

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By *lackbootzMan
15 hours ago

Hayes, Middx


" … again there is no international committee stating that to identify as homosexual you need to be exclusively having sex with the same sex… "

What a long post of arrogant disdain and utter claptrap you have given us.

A bisexual man telling gay men what being gay is and how they need to redefine their understanding of homosexuality. How fucking offensive?!

As for the bit I’ve highlighted… No, there isn’t an international committee on the meaning of identifying as homosexual - they’d ask themselves why the fuck are we having an international committee when the term speaks for itself?!

If you’re having sex with both men and women you are bisexual. You are not homosexual. This is just through the looking glass nonsense.

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less.”

“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things…”

You can identify as the walrus or the carpenter as far as it bothers me, but don’t try to overlay all this nonsense on others.

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By *odameMan
14 hours ago

Tenerife - I am NOT in


" … again there is no international committee stating that to identify as homosexual you need to be exclusively having sex with the same sex…

What a long post of arrogant disdain and utter claptrap you have given us.

A bisexual man telling gay men what being gay is and how they need to redefine their understanding of homosexuality. How fucking offensive?!

As for the bit I’ve highlighted… No, there isn’t an international committee on the meaning of identifying as homosexual - they’d ask themselves why the fuck are we having an international committee when the term speaks for itself?!

If you’re having sex with both men and women you are bisexual. You are not homosexual. This is just through the looking glass nonsense.

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less.”

“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things…”

You can identify as the walrus or the carpenter as far as it bothers me, but don’t try to overlay all this nonsense on others. "

I do not identify as bi though.

Although I did play wingman and fondle with Sarah Thompson's tits whilst my mate Andy shagged her mate Janet. And I did get a hard on, which would seem to signify to certain people I am bi, but in reality it was watching Andy's cute bum bouncing up and down that turned me on.

The Humpty quote is recognised as indicating that nobody can unilaterally fix a word’s meaning for everyone, which certain people are guilty of attempting in this thread with the word Gay.

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