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Dissed by closest Friend

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By *aelstrom OP   Man
3 days ago

Doncaster

I was badly let down by a very close friend.It made me ill was very stressful and affected me for along time. I imagine it's a bit like a bad marriage break up.it even felt like the death of a close relative. I eventually got better I'm happy now but id never get close to a guy again. Anyone else been hurt?

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By *arridMan
3 days ago

Brighton

‘Dissed’ is a bit different to ‘badly let down’. The answer for me is no. I choose friends carefully and never have had anyone too close so not been majorly let down. Minor stuff, yeah. Major, no.

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By *erscumdumpMan
3 days ago

Watford

No, never been let down by a good friend. I hope things get better for you pal and you find happiness. Holding onto the past robs us of our future.

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By *ustOneBearMan
3 days ago

Neath

Yes I had what I thought was one of my closest friends.

He got into a bad relationship and I offered him support all through it and the breakup.

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Nothing. No reply to messages.

After my husband died I get a call from him saying he’s a bad friend. He wanted me to tell him it’s ok, but I replied “well if you think that, then you must have good reason to” He said I was heartless. Nothing more for over a year

Now hes sent a happy new year message. I can’t bring myself to respond. I’m done.

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By *amantha111TV/TS
3 days ago

Beeston

You'll notice people close to you acting weird, if you are an empath and always tried your best for all, you'll be seen by them as an emotional shock absorber only. You know who is true when you've been emotionally drained and financially drained. It's difficult to spot them because they're so close to you buyt stepping back, you see the same patterns in all of them. They inundate you with their drama, they don't let you rest or sleep and make you become Co-dependant by their own design. You are their energy supply and if you've never heard of Carl jung and go from there, take some time out just for you to regenerate your spirit and you'll realise its not you, but we are (and soon were) responsible for enabling them. Don't let them make you feel guilty, you gave everything and more. You are not alone and you are loved. New beginnings

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By *ickSeekerMan
3 days ago

Canterbury


"I was badly let down by a very close friend.It made me ill was very stressful and affected me for along time. I imagine it's a bit like a bad marriage break up.it even felt like the death of a close relative. I eventually got better I'm happy now but id never get close to a guy again. Anyone else been hurt?"

Yep😢

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By *ickSeekerMan
3 days ago

Canterbury


"You'll notice people close to you acting weird, if you are an empath and always tried your best for all, you'll be seen by them as an emotional shock absorber only. You know who is true when you've been emotionally drained and financially drained. It's difficult to spot them because they're so close to you buyt stepping back, you see the same patterns in all of them. They inundate you with their drama, they don't let you rest or sleep and make you become Co-dependant by their own design. You are their energy supply and if you've never heard of Carl jung and go from there, take some time out just for you to regenerate your spirit and you'll realise its not you, but we are (and soon were) responsible for enabling them. Don't let them make you feel guilty, you gave everything and more. You are not alone and you are loved. New beginnings"

👏👏👏🏆🥇💪

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By *hyna HutchMan
3 days ago

valleys

New beginnings is correct.

Don't drive into the beautiful sunrise with your eyes on the rear view mirror.

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By *aelstrom OP   Man
3 days ago

Doncaster


"Yes I had what I thought was one of my closest friends.

He got into a bad relationship and I offered him support all through it and the breakup.

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Nothing. No reply to messages.

After my husband died I get a call from him saying he’s a bad friend. He wanted me to tell him it’s ok, but I replied “well if you think that, then you must have good reason to” He said I was heartless. Nothing more for over a year

Now hes sent a happy new year message. I can’t bring myself to respond. I’m done. "
....Thats awful I'd never be able to forgive him.

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By *Fun123Man
3 days ago

North of Braintree

Bit of a sad tread this one. I’ve experienced lots friends and colleagues that see something in us that we don’t see in ourselves. They reach out and rely on us to get their strength, not necessarily to support us or return the favour/support when we may need it. We’re probably stronger and more emotionally safe than we think but when we need that help we struggle as the people we’ve invested in aren’t there for us. We just need to find a stronger versions of us to help but appreciate and understand them as well. I’m really sorry for the man who lost his husband and was dropped by his friend who now keeps looking for forgiveness and a way back in.

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By *ruemaleMan
3 days ago

notts

I've wisened up after many years of experiencing this.

I'd rather have two or three close trustworthy friends than many that purport to be my friend

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By *3versMan
3 days ago

glasgow


"Yes I had what I thought was one of my closest friends.

He got into a bad relationship and I offered him support all through it and the breakup.

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Nothing. No reply to messages.

After my husband died I get a call from him saying he’s a bad friend. He wanted me to tell him it’s ok, but I replied “well if you think that, then you must have good reason to” He said I was heartless. Nothing more for over a year

Now hes sent a happy new year message. I can’t bring myself to respond. I’m done. "

Some people get scared and weirded by terminal illness and death

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By *aelstrom OP   Man
2 days ago

Doncaster


"You'll notice people close to you acting weird, if you are an empath and always tried your best for all, you'll be seen by them as an emotional shock absorber only. You know who is true when you've been emotionally drained and financially drained. It's difficult to spot them because they're so close to you buyt stepping back, you see the same patterns in all of them. They inundate you with their drama, they don't let you rest or sleep and make you become Co-dependant by their own design. You are their energy supply and if you've never heard of Carl jung and go from there, take some time out just for you to regenerate your spirit and you'll realise its not you, but we are (and soon were) responsible for enabling them. Don't let them make you feel guilty, you gave everything and more. You are not alone and you are loved. New beginnings"
....Thanks that's all spot on, bless you xxx

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By *ustOneBearMan
2 days ago

Neath


"Yes I had what I thought was one of my closest friends.

He got into a bad relationship and I offered him support all through it and the breakup.

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Nothing. No reply to messages.

After my husband died I get a call from him saying he’s a bad friend. He wanted me to tell him it’s ok, but I replied “well if you think that, then you must have good reason to” He said I was heartless. Nothing more for over a year

Now hes sent a happy new year message. I can’t bring myself to respond. I’m done.

Some people get scared and weirded by terminal illness and death"

I agree. Who needs those people as friends? When it gets tough, they disappear. I expect something has happened in his life and he’s used up all his other friends.

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By *ildwestheroMan
2 days ago

Llandrindod Wells

The OP does not say how his friend let him down. It caused me to remember an incident from at least 45 years ago. There was a guy in the same village as me, around 5 years my senior, and we were the best of friends. That is until one evening I confessed to being gay. No ranting or raving. He just asked a couple of questions but the atmosphere went cold. Think I saw him briefly about once after that and I never got invited to his wedding a few months later.

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By *rowserMan
2 days ago

East Kent

When people show you who they are, believe them. I would never forgive someone 'close' who goes MIA at the worst time. That's who they are, and they'll likely do it again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

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By *excessMan
2 days ago

Sleaford


"Yes I had what I thought was one of my closest friends.

He got into a bad relationship and I offered him support all through it and the breakup.

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Nothing. No reply to messages.

After my husband died I get a call from him saying he’s a bad friend. He wanted me to tell him it’s ok, but I replied “well if you think that, then you must have good reason to” He said I was heartless. Nothing more for over a year

Now hes sent a happy new year message. I can’t bring myself to respond. I’m done. "

Your heartless for holding up a mirror to his shitty behaviour!

You couldn't make it up mate could you.

He didn't want to apologise he wanted unearned forgiveness.

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By *astle9Man
2 days ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme


"I was badly let down by a very close friend.It made me ill was very stressful and affected me for along time. I imagine it's a bit like a bad marriage break up.it even felt like the death of a close relative. I eventually got better I'm happy now but id never get close to a guy again. Anyone else been hurt?"

Yes. I've known a guy for over nearly 30 years. We've never been partners, but have been close friends and fuckbuddies over those years. We've both had our dramas and have poured out our woes to each other - tea and sympathy, and of course a nice shag always helps the world feel better. But it did always feel a bit one sided, like he was far less interested or concerned about my worries than I was about his.

Anyway, about 2 years ago he started making excuses as to why we couldn't meet up - don't feel very well, the boys are up from London, I'm off to London visiting the boys, my brother is coming over...... etc. Totally out of the ordinary to be so unavailable constantly. So the last time we exchanged messages and he was unavailable I left it with "well let me know when you're free then", or similar. And waited. See how long I takes for him to message me.

He never did.

I know nothing has happened to him. He still pops up on here from time to time. He's just dropped me for no reason. After nearly 30 fucking years!! I am both hurt and angry.

I think if he came crawling back now I wouldn't be able to bring myself to be friends again. I couldn't trust him.

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By *aelstrom OP   Man
2 days ago

Doncaster


"I was badly let down by a very close friend.It made me ill was very stressful and affected me for along time. I imagine it's a bit like a bad marriage break up.it even felt like the death of a close relative. I eventually got better I'm happy now but id never get close to a guy again. Anyone else been hurt?

Yes. I've known a guy for over nearly 30 years. We've never been partners, but have been close friends and fuckbuddies over those years. We've both had our dramas and have poured out our woes to each other - tea and sympathy, and of course a nice shag always helps the world feel better. But it did always feel a bit one sided, like he was far less interested or concerned about my worries than I was about his.

Anyway, about 2 years ago he started making excuses as to why we couldn't meet up - don't feel very well, the boys are up from London, I'm off to London visiting the boys, my brother is coming over...... etc. Totally out of the ordinary to be so unavailable constantly. So the last time we exchanged messages and he was unavailable I left it with "well let me know when you're free then", or similar. And waited. See how long I takes for him to message me.

He never did.

I know nothing has happened to him. He still pops up on here from time to time. He's just dropped me for no reason. After nearly 30 fucking years!! I am both hurt and angry.

I think if he came crawling back now I wouldn't be able to bring myself to be friends again. I couldn't trust him.

"
...Some people are just horrible,he's going to need your support one day!!!!

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By *rancd2TV/TS
2 days ago

Wolverhampton

Not had a close friend since I was 11.

Had a really close friend that died horribly. Hurt me so badly at his loss that I knew I’d never get that close to anyone ever again. I’ve got lots of acquaintances, and people I’ve known for many years, but I don’t count any as real friends.

So when I do hit a rough patch people that turn up to help and support are shocks to me, but pleasant ones.

The only person you can truly depend on to be on your side is you.

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By *lackbootzMan
2 days ago

Hayes, Middx


"… Not had a close friend since I was 11. Had a really close friend that died horribly..."

Genuine sympathies to all above who have grieved for lost ones or lost friendships or abandonments.

But this thread has rather become the failure of friendship version of “The Four Yorkshiremen" and I’m not sure that’s very healthy for anyone.

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By *ham59Man
2 days ago

Torquay

I joined the navy from school and moved around a bit and worked with loads of different people. I think I subconsciously decided not to get too close to anyone but you can't really help it. I was never let down by anyone but feel I may have let a couple down by not staying in touch. Not terrible I know but still selfish

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By *aelstrom OP   Man
23 hours ago

Doncaster


"Not had a close friend since I was 11.

Had a really close friend that died horribly. Hurt me so badly at his loss that I knew I’d never get that close to anyone ever again. I’ve got lots of acquaintances, and people I’ve known for many years, but I don’t count any as real friends.

So when I do hit a rough patch people that turn up to help and support are shocks to me, but pleasant ones.

The only person you can truly depend on to be on your side is you."
....That's heartbreaking having such a loss at that age.

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By *licequeenbear891Man
21 hours ago

Teddington

I haven't been dissed but my best friend abandoned me and comes up with different excuses all the time, I've always been supportive towards him, always been there for him, always gave emotional support, and still do (even though I got mug written all over my face) and when my dad died of cancer, the one person I needed the most, wasn't there. I suppose, I haven't ended the friendship because I know what it's like to be abandoned and I'd be a shit friend if I ended the friendship. But all this and he gives me the same story, ADHD, hyperfocus, I understand everything, ADHD, people are busy, but if you don't check up on my in 8 months that's a choice. Was very hurt by that! I'm slowly starting to heal.

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By *andomguy321Man
21 hours ago

reading

And the winner is .........

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By *laretv42TV/TS
20 hours ago

BRIDGEND

We all need to know we are loved xx

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By *idingcockMan
20 hours ago

Driffield

Like any other relationship we make ourselves vulnerable when they’re formed. Just like any other relationship they do sometimes come to an end. Acknowledge your sadness/anger and then try and move on. After a while you might even reach a stage of thinking it was good while it lasted. They were lucky to have you in their life - dust yourself down and move on as best you can. X

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By *andomguy321Man
20 hours ago

reading

My neighbour Brian, two doors down ... Known each other for over 20 years now,... even used to look after his budgie when he was away.

Last summer he borrowed my ladder.

Still hasn't returned it ....Bloody good one it is too.

That's the last time he's getting anything off me!

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By *umquakeMan
20 hours ago

Boston

Have you asked Brian for the ladder back? He might still be on the roof and no one noticed the ladder fell over!

Go check him please. I'm worried for Brian now.

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By *andomguy321Man
19 hours ago

reading


"Have you asked Brian for the ladder back? He might still be on the roof and no one noticed the ladder fell over!

Go check him please. I'm worried for Brian now. "

Fuck em!

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