FabGuys.com forum: Things you really shouldn't put up your bum

By *eedsbearman OP Man
5 weeks ago

Leeds

Traffic cone

Whole roast chicken

Pot pourri

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By *ob 51Man
5 weeks ago

Glasgow

A hole roast chicken???

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By *dam001Man
5 weeks ago

Sapcote

Cactus

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By *lan82Man
5 weeks ago

North Hykeham, Lincoln

"Traffic cone

Whole roast chicken

Pot pourri"

A low yield fission device?

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By *ediumsized2Man
5 weeks ago

furze platt

cadbury's creme egg !!

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By *anmunsterMan
5 weeks ago

south tipp.cahir area n cork.w waterford e limerick

Pineapple

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By *etterbiggerMan
5 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

Pineapple. The fruit itself, or rings in a tin

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By *itherMan
5 weeks ago

Leeds

Lord Charles (The ventriloquists dummy).

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By *ust4inchesMan
5 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

"Traffic cone

Whole roast chicken

Pot pourri

A low yield fission device? "

So a high yield fission device is ok?

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By *yne123Man
5 weeks ago

Seascale

"Traffic cone

Whole roast chicken

Pot pourri

A low yield fission device?

So a high yield fission device is ok?"

Yeah of course it is!

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By *uyverseMan
5 weeks ago

Nearby

I used to put my grandmothers hair bush up mine when I was a boy.

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By *etterbiggerMan
5 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

"Traffic cone

Whole roast chicken

Pot pourri

A low yield fission device?

So a high yield fission device is ok?

Yeah of course it is!"

Oh good I've got one in the freezer left from Christmas

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By *R6guyMan
5 weeks ago

Worcs

Terrapin

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By *lackbootzMan
5 weeks ago

Hayes, Middx

Grandmother.

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By *ust4inchesMan
5 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

"Pineapple. The fruit itself, or rings in a tin"

Rings in a tin would be the same as if it was salmon, tuna, baked beans, soup etc..

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By *etterbiggerMan
5 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

"Pineapple. The fruit itself, or rings in a tin

Rings in a tin would be the same as if it was salmon, tuna, baked beans, soup etc.."

A balanced diet always of course

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By *ust4inchesMan
5 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

"Traffic cone

Whole roast chicken

Pot pourri

A low yield fission device?

So a high yield fission device is ok?

Yeah of course it is!

Oh good I've got one in the freezer left from Christmas "

Oh dear. Freezing renders them highly unstable when defrosted.

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By *iPantiesMan
5 weeks ago

Louth

Jeff Goldblum

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By *upertedMan
5 weeks ago

Nelson

"Traffic cone

Whole roast chicken

Pot pourri"

Tru and find that US paramedic on FB and TT. 😉

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By *sal paulMan
5 weeks ago

frinton /walton area

Light bulbs

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By *andysomersetTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Frome

Cattle prod

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By *IPMANMan
5 weeks ago

West London

A Starwars Lightsaber

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By *IPMANMan
5 weeks ago

West London

Taser, Staplegun, gluegun, egg whisks, pack of Darts, a jar of Branston pickle

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By *iana69TV/TS
5 weeks ago

Belfast/

Trump. Ud have to pay a tariff to get him out 🤠

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By *hanclaMan
5 weeks ago

Bridgend area

Traffic cone, unless you are really ambitious

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By *IPMANMan
5 weeks ago

West London

Ant and Dec....on second thoughts probably the best place for them

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By *3versMan
5 weeks ago

glasgow

Daily Mail - it should only be wiped across the exterior

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By *wladMan
5 weeks ago

high wycombe

Reform supporters

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By *avinia XTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Warwick

Computer said no.

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By *ewcSubMan
5 weeks ago

New Moston

The concept of sadness

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By *xaussiepaulMan
5 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Compact Umbrella!!!

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By *ordhavnMan
5 weeks ago

liverpool

The artist formaly known as Prince Andrew

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By *ust4inchesMan
5 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

Drawing pins

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By *ust4inchesMan
5 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

"Traffic cone, unless you are really ambitious "

Or if you need a diversion

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By *uffolkmale54TV/TS
5 weeks ago

Lowestoft

towbar

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By *awihMan
5 weeks ago

Aldershot

"Cactus "

Pineapple 🍍

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By *ust4inchesMan
5 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

"Cactus

Pineapple 🍍 "

Both already mentioned. Pineapple suggested twice before.

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By *issy crystalTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Hook

Belgium

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By *eedsbearman OP Man
5 weeks ago

Leeds

"Belgium"

I would also add Austria, South Korea and Guadeloupe.

Burkina Faso is fine though.

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By *issy crystalTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Hook

"Belgium

I would also add Austria, South Korea and Guadeloupe.

Burkina Faso is fine though."

And definitely not Norway. All those fjords...oof!

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By *onman666TV/TS
5 weeks ago

doncaster

Whats up with the cactus ?

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By *etterbiggerMan
5 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

"Belgium

I would also add Austria, South Korea and Guadeloupe.

Burkina Faso is fine though.

And definitely not Norway. All those fjords...oof!"

Poland. Or should that be pole and. That sounds more interesting

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By *ndy61hMan
5 weeks ago

Plymouth

Donald Trumps wig.

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By *onman666TV/TS
5 weeks ago

doncaster

"Belgium

I would also add Austria, South Korea and Guadeloupe.

Burkina Faso is fine though.

And definitely not Norway. All those fjords...oof!

Poland. Or should that be pole and. That sounds more interesting "

Im with you on that

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By *erscumdumpMan
5 weeks ago

Watford & Worth Matravers

The hopes and dreams of humanity.

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By *onman666TV/TS
5 weeks ago

doncaster

Too late for them

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By *issy crystalTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Hook

It's a shame cacti have prickles, they have a rather tempting shape otherwise.

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By *0yguyMan
5 weeks ago

Cumbria

Chilli or Chile

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By *ildwestheroMan
5 weeks ago

Llandrindod Wells

The spire of Salisbury cathedral

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By *eedsbearman OP Man
5 weeks ago

Leeds

"The spire of Salisbury cathedral"

Or the spire of Chesterfield Parish Church

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By *irtyfacesMan
5 weeks ago

near

Telly remote,lost all my channels

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By *i_guy_WBayMan
5 weeks ago

Whitley Bay

Everything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough

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By *atyTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Wisbech

Done that!...it's best if they've been in the freezer for a few hours before!!

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By *llie74Man
5 weeks ago

Pyle

Brut 33 bottle perfect shape

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By *ennthebigMan
5 weeks ago

Erdington

Loo roll

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By *owerplay823Man
5 weeks ago

worthing

Cricket bat

Bed post

Door handle

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By *andomguy321Man
5 weeks ago

reading

Tampons

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By *awihMan
5 weeks ago

Aldershot

A pneumatic drill

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By *rownriverMan
5 weeks ago

horley

Suppositories

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By *evanianMan
5 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

Grenades

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By *andomguy321Man
5 weeks ago

reading

Drugs

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By *ammy39Man
5 weeks ago

Glenrothes

"The spire of Salisbury cathedral"

No you can't, it's a Russian tourist attraction

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By *uck me in KentMan
5 weeks ago

Medway

Bunch of roses... Stems first

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By *rancd2TV/TS
5 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Rubiks Cube

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By *punk loverMan
5 weeks ago

Dunstable

Jeffrey Epstein

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By *noblerMan
5 weeks ago

welling

I like tampons

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By *reggieweggieMan
5 weeks ago

perth

I haven't read through but here's my contribution

Battery acid

A porcupine ( head first)

A cheese grater.

Ralgex

Dulux emulsion in battleship grey

Your grandfather's penis.

That's it for now.

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Preston

"Traffic cone

Whole roast chicken

Pot pourri"

Just think how your farts would smell if you put Pot Pourri up you arse

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By *UNNY_ON_HEATMan
5 weeks ago

Rochdale

The father-in-law

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By *tekirkby44Man
5 weeks ago

Liverpool

Done traffic cone

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By *astDevonGuyMan
5 weeks ago

Seaton

Peter Mandelson

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By *lueoscarMan
5 weeks ago

alfreton/chesterfield

Barbed wire

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By *tmguylookingMan
5 weeks ago

Chesterfield

"The spire of Salisbury cathedral

Or the spire of Chesterfield Parish Church"

Am sure I saw a dildo shaped like that somewhere.

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By *ishop666Man
5 weeks ago

ls19

A traffic warden

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By *jm101Man
5 weeks ago

Northampton

Hole??

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By *vkatierichardsTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Hereford

"Suppositories "

Had to have one of those up mine otherwise I wasn't allowed to leave hospital unless id been to the toilet!! 🤦‍♀️ not my most dignified moment! Lol

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By *ersbarebottMan
5 weeks ago

hampshire

"Drugs "

Apparently you can

Also if your ever stranded on a boat in the sea you cant drink sea water

But you can put it in your ass and you won’t go mad

Of course if you remember to grab your Douche kit , its the first thing any self respecting gay should think of on a sinking ship

After all you may get rescued buy a boat of sex starved sailors lol

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By *cceptingMan
5 weeks ago

Oxford

Little Pricks

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By *ttmcdguyTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Anything under 6”

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By *andomguy321Man
5 weeks ago

reading

A BAFTA ... and definitely NOT during the awards ceremony itself 🎭

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By *hooseanameMan
5 weeks ago

Middlesbrough

"A BAFTA ... and definitely NOT during the awards ceremony itself 🎭"

Wish you told me this sooner

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By *h60Man
5 weeks ago

Thurso

A skinned ginger root ..as in figging.

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By *3versMan
5 weeks ago

glasgow

Richard Gere

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By *andomguy321Man
5 weeks ago

reading

"A BAFTA ... and definitely NOT during the awards ceremony itself 🎭

Wish you told me this sooner "

It's a condition 🤐👀

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By *ick ZuckerMan
5 weeks ago

sheffield

Mother in laws electric toothbrush

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By *DAnnetteTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Brighton

Mother in law ......

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By *ubtitsMan
5 weeks ago

hyde

A big cock

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By *ryan2000Man
5 weeks ago

London colney

Your right arm complete ...lol

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By *issy crystalTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Hook

Mother-in-law's false teeth

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

Deep Heat

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By *alking HeadMan
5 weeks ago

Bolton

Your elbow. You'll end up in hospital. Only use someone else's.

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By *ollo007Man
5 weeks ago

Pontefract

A carrot without a condom...don’t ask how I know. On a vaguely related note: when I first got together with my now wife, she’d just left her husband and moved in with me—into a cramped bedroom with a bunk bed shared with my younger brother. So when we got the chance to dog sit for her sister and brother in law over a long weekend (complete with a double bed and actual privacy) we jumped at it.

On the final night, after far too much wine, I had the bright idea to fuck her with a half eaten cucumber from the fridge. Afterwards, without thinking, I put it back.

The next morning, her sister came home earlier than expected. Rather than wake us, she decided to let us sleep in and started prepping food for an impromptu barbecue with her husband and our future in laws. When I walked downstairs, I was greeted by the sight of her in the kitchen making salad—with cucumber. The same cucumber.

Needless to say, neither my wife nor I touched it. I didn’t know whether to look at my in laws happily munching away and try not to laugh, or at my wife, who was radiating pure fury. She eventually saw the funny side—but on the drive back to my parents’ place, we had our first proper argument.

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By *ichael1961Man
5 weeks ago

Chichester

Other men’s cocks but hey…

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By *ihandymanMan
5 weeks ago

Barnard Castle

Fireworks

Dyson

Southerners (irony)

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By *acingfanMan
5 weeks ago

Huddersfield

"A hole roast chicken???"

Spatchcock?

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By *eorge LooneyMan
5 weeks ago

Wokingham

The exhaust pipe on a bus. My friend will never forget the look on the face of the woman following me.

Him.

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