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Classic British TV quotes!

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"My pussy will be going frantic in this heat!" - Mrs Slocombe in "Are You Being Served?" - played by the wonderful late Molly Sugden.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Stupid boy!!" Captain Mainwaring in Dad's Army to Private Pike, played by Arthur Lowe and Ian Lavender.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Vot is your name?" - German officer to Private Pike in Dad's Army

"Don't tell him Pike!" - Captain Mainwaring. 😆

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Norman Stanley Fletcher! You have pleaded guilty to the charges brought by this court... you will go to prison for five years."

The opening line from "Porridge", delivered by Ronnie Barker himself as a voiceover for the judge. Barker played the main character Norman Stanley Fletcher, a career criminal serving time in H.M.P Slade.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *leepflowerMan
3 weeks ago

Leek

"Mr Flibble is very cross!"

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By *iPantiesMan
3 weeks ago

Louth

" I have a plan so cunning you could brush your teeth with it"

Blackadder (of course)

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By *eepeter4Man
3 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Stan Ogden saying to Hilda as he kiss her ,What that lipstick taste of , Hilda replied Woman Stanley Woman.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issy crystalTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Hook

We're on a winner here, Trig. Play it nice and cool.....

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By *adame BootsTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Tetbury

Its bigger on the inside

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By *erdyHollyTV/TS
3 weeks ago

In a galaxy far far away

Good moaning

And

You stupid woman

-Allo Allo

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By *issy crystalTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Hook

A woman rang earlier and said there was a hurricane on the way. Don't worry, there isn't....

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By *leepflowerMan
3 weeks ago

Leek

"So, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"

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By *oshua.LMan
3 weeks ago

Slough

It’s Friday……. It’s 5 to 5…….

It’s C R A C K E R J A C K !!

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By *ajkumarkapoorMan
3 weeks ago

London

You Plonker Rodney!

From: Only Fools and Horses

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By *ecretsukerTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Tipperary

I didn’t get where I am today by quoting tv shows on a gay dating site….

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By *erdyHollyTV/TS
3 weeks ago

In a galaxy far far away

I come from Barcelona

Is no rat, is hamster!

- Faulty Towers

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By *ammerhant420Man
3 weeks ago

Bromley, Kent

It's a shit business - glad I'm out of it!

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By *iguy650Man
3 weeks ago

newport


""So, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?""

Mrs Merton/Caroline Aherne, brilliant!

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By *ammerhant420Man
3 weeks ago

Bromley, Kent

STAND BY FOR ACTION! Anything can happen in the next half hour.

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By *oxleyMan
3 weeks ago

Wetherby

Stingray

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By *erdyHollyTV/TS
3 weeks ago

In a galaxy far far away


"I come from Barcelona

Is no rat, is hamster!

- Faulty Towers"

I forgot, there's also:

You want a hammer sandwich

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ddie197Man
3 weeks ago

Blackburn

Don't have nightmares.

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By *etterbiggerMan
3 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

Ooh you are awful but I like you

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By *leepflowerMan
3 weeks ago

Leek


""So, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"

Mrs Merton/Caroline Aherne, brilliant! "

Sadly missed.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualblokeMan
3 weeks ago

London /Colchester

'Sapphire and Steel have been assigned!'

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By *excessMan
3 weeks ago

Sleaford

We didn't burn him!!!

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By *eepeter4Man
3 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Hokey Cokey pick of the pokey morning job seeker (Pauline from the League of Gentlemen)

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By *leepflowerMan
3 weeks ago

Leek

"Come get your black bin bags, they're on offer 'til December..."

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By *issy crystalTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Hook

Have we got a video?

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By *oxleyMan
3 weeks ago

Wetherby

Suit You Sir…

I was very… very d*unk at the time…

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By *sal paulMan
3 weeks ago

Walton/frinton

Bloody boiling

Dad from Friday night dinner

Lovely bit of squirrel

Same program

Sorry from sorry

Awwww you are Allfull but I like you

Dick emery show

Power to the people

Citizen smith

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By *mrmarkMan
3 weeks ago

Tavistock

Ive had this broom 20 years. Trigger

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By *nglosaxon69Man
3 weeks ago

Norwich

Nice little earner - Minder

Lovely boy, fine pair of shoulders - It ain't half hot mum

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By *aynie-MarieTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Reigate

Want that one

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By *_nottslad_xTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Mansfield

You dirty old man

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By *cottfreeMan
3 weeks ago

Stevenage


""Vot is your name?" - German officer to Private Pike in Dad's Army

"Don't tell him Pike!" - Captain Mainwaring. 😆"
Wasn't that Uncle Albert OFAH

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By *enperryMan
3 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Look what you could've won....

Talk about a kick in the knackers after losing....!!

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By *eepeter4Man
3 weeks ago

Bournemouth


""Vot is your name?" - German officer to Private Pike in Dad's Army

"Don't tell him Pike!" - Captain Mainwaring. 😆Wasn't that Uncle Albert OFAH "
no is catch phase was during the War

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By *_nottslad_xTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Mansfield


""Vot is your name?" - German officer to Private Pike in Dad's Army

"Don't tell him Pike!" - Captain Mainwaring. 😆Wasn't that Uncle Albert OFAH "

It is from OFAH. The german said to Pike - your name vill also go on ze list! Vot is it?

Don’t tell him Pike

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By *oxleyMan
3 weeks ago

Wetherby

I heard that….

P p p pardon

Uncle Staveley

I Didn’t Know You Cared.

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By *enperryMan
3 weeks ago

Wolverhampton


""Vot is your name?" - German officer to Private Pike in Dad's Army

"Don't tell him Pike!" - Captain Mainwaring. 😆Wasn't that Uncle Albert OFAH

It is from OFAH. The german said to Pike - your name vill also go on ze list! Vot is it?

Don’t tell him Pike"

Nah....was Dad's Army

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By *eliaTVTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Doncaster


""Vot is your name?" - German officer to Private Pike in Dad's Army

"Don't tell him Pike!" - Captain Mainwaring. 😆Wasn't that Uncle Albert OFAH

It is from OFAH. The german said to Pike - your name vill also go on ze list! Vot is it?

Don’t tell him Pike

Nah....was Dad's Army"

Defo Dad's Army.

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By *eliaTVTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Doncaster

"Ready when you are grandad"

Cleaning the chandeliers.

Only Fools and Horses. Brilliant series.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *_nottslad_xTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Mansfield


""Vot is your name?" - German officer to Private Pike in Dad's Army

"Don't tell him Pike!" - Captain Mainwaring. 😆Wasn't that Uncle Albert OFAH

It is from OFAH. The german said to Pike - your name vill also go on ze list! Vot is it?

Don’t tell him Pike

Nah....was Dad's Army

Defo Dad's Army.

"

I think you misunderstood what i meant.

“Vot is your name?” was what Albert said to the German girl which was OFAH, the other quote where i put “Your name will also go on ze list” is from Dad’s army. Sorry for confusing you. I’m an OFAH and Dad’s Army fan so know both scenes

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nal VersatileMan
3 weeks ago

Newquay

And I don't vont any nasty soggy chips....I like mine crisp unt light brown .

(Philip Madoc, easily the funniest special guest in whole dads army series)

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By *erasusMan
3 weeks ago

Glasgow

Probably posted earlier but….

Stan: “Whats that lipstick taste of?”

Hilda: “Woman Stanley. Woman”

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By *ammerhant420Man
3 weeks ago

Bromley, Kent

This is a local shop for local people, there's nothing for you here!

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By *ikki1970Man
3 weeks ago

leicester

"Berk! Where's my dinner?"

Trapdoor

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By *leepflowerMan
3 weeks ago

Leek

"Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango."

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By *DCambsMan
3 weeks ago

Cambridge

'Semen is such a persistent stain'.

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By *d seekerMan
3 weeks ago

Skelmersdale

"Tell me about the lady boys "

Partridge

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By *ldmanMan
3 weeks ago

Rawcliffe Bridge.

"I'll be back!"

Terminator 1984.

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By *lueoscarMan
3 weeks ago

alfreton/chesterfield

Where theres greenery theres queenery Eastenders and where's there shrubbery theres eeh mmm

Harry Hill

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By *rowserMan
3 weeks ago

East Kent

"Computer says No".

"Am I bovvered?"

"How very...very...dare you!"

"I've just been fisting Norman Lamont. Talk about a red box..."

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By *ammerhant420Man
3 weeks ago

Bromley, Kent

And on that bombshell...

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By *ust4inchesMan
3 weeks ago

Shrewsbury


"Nice little earner - Minder

Lovely boy, fine pair of shoulders - It ain't half hot mum"

“You is a poof! What is you?”

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ewBrumBiMan
3 weeks ago

Birmingham B15

'Dinsdale!'

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By *issy crystalTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Hook

Dust...Anybody?...No?...Dust...

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By *55uk4yngrMan
3 weeks ago

Chester


""Norman Stanley Fletcher! You have pleaded guilty to the charges brought by this court... you will go to prison for five years."

The opening line from "Porridge", delivered by Ronnie Barker himself as a voiceover for the judge. Barker played the main character Norman Stanley Fletcher, a career criminal serving time in H.M.P Slade."

What you in for?

Got caught!

Classic from the Governor, Mr Barker.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issy crystalTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Hook

Are you now or have you at any time been a practicing homosexual?

What, with these feet? Who'd have me?

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By *oxleyMan
3 weeks ago

Wetherby

Porridge

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By *evilish PlaytimeMan
3 weeks ago

Sawtry (nr Peterborough)

*said to Debbie Magee*

"But what first attracted you to the millionaire, Paul Daniels?"

From The Mrs Merton Show

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By *ammerhant420Man
3 weeks ago

Bromley, Kent

"Last one on drugs is a queer," yells Portillo.

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By *altab50Man
3 weeks ago

Cardiff

Snooker -

“And for those of you watching in black and white, the pink is behind the blue”

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Bedford

Were you wafted here from paradise. No Luton airport.

Lorraine Chase.xx

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"I’m not a hero. I’m a coward. But I’m a coward with a very good survival instinct." - Captain Edmund Blackadder.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rasshopper200Man
3 weeks ago

kendal

What did I say Roy

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *leepflowerMan
3 weeks ago

Leek


"What did I say Roy "

You said you could have shit through the eye of a needle.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Never before have I seen such a blatant display of poofery!"

BSM Williams in "It Ain't Half Hot Mum".

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ello 1000Man
3 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

Are you a faithful or are you a traitor ?

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By *ountainMan
3 weeks ago

ipswich

Just like that hahahaha

Tommy Cooper

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By *ountainMan
3 weeks ago

ipswich

Get owt of my pub.

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Och, I’ll tell ye the story o’ the owld empty barn...

We were oot on patrol one night...me and Jock McLeod...

We came across this... owld... empty barn.... sittin’ there in the dark...

So we went in...

And.....

.......there was nothing in it!...Nothing I tell ye!!!.... Nothing!"

Pte Frazer - Dad's Army.

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By *hiteroseMan
3 weeks ago

Neverwhere

Still Game: Wireless episod

Jack: If you ever find yourself in Craiglang, be sure to pop in to Harrid's general store,for your fruit, veg, bread, pipe tobacco and a warm, friendly smile.

Navid: That's ma shop! That's ma shop!

Jack: But don't expect to see him in the shop for the next few days. Because he's in here, wi' pisser problems.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittlefishMan
3 weeks ago

Im here

“And now for something completely different “

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By *hiteroseMan
3 weeks ago

Neverwhere

A whisky expert: “Don’t be shy, gentlemen. Try the McClivey, that distillery is silent now. Twenty-five years old. A wee sip of history.”

Jack: “Aye well, it’ll be history when it’s flying out my p*sser in about an hour.”

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By *hiteroseMan
3 weeks ago

Neverwhere

Boaby: “Oh here we go, Burke and Hare.”

Jack: “Shut yer hole Boaby. If we were Burke and Hare we wouldnae be robbin your grave, we’d be pissin in it.”

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

G-G-G-G-Granville, fetch yer cloth...

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By *ameshertsMan
3 weeks ago

Herts


""I'll be back!"

Terminator 1984."

Ah yes ... that classic British TV series!!

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By *iss Leanne BTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Manchester

“You missed Mr Bond”

“Did I?”

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By *iss Leanne BTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Manchester

“Chase Me”

Duncan Norvelle

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By *iss Leanne BTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Manchester


"Porridge"

I prefer Frosties to be honest.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *londebiguyMan
3 weeks ago

near Southport

You're my wife now.

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By *urious1700Man
3 weeks ago

Northampton

‘It may be Hamlet, but it’s got to be fun, fun, fun’

The amazing Julie Walter’s in the fantastic Victoria Wood’s Pie Crust Players sketch

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Oh dear! How sad!!....Never mind" - BSM Williams in "It Ain't Half Hot Mum".

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Have you been Walter?...Has he been?"

Nellie Pledge (played by Hylda Baker), in "Nearest and Dearest".

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittlefishMan
3 weeks ago

Im here

“Oh you are awful…. But I like you “

Dick Emery

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By *uckbiMan
3 weeks ago

Lowestoft

Hi De Hi campers….

Bouquet Residence… Lady of the house speaking 🤣

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By *wilxj8Man
3 weeks ago

Kingswood BS15 8EQ

Gene Hunt. Your DCI. And it's 1973. Almost dinner time. I'm 'avin 'oops"

"Drop your weapons! You are surrounded by armed bastards!"

Life on Mars

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Giz a Swatch o' Yer Fanny!" -

Two wee laddies to young woman selling ice-cream in "Chewin' The Fat" Scottish comedy show.

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By *eaumanMan
3 weeks ago

Watton

Might not count as its from an advert, still shown now and again, the one with the man stationed at an outpost supposedly at the north pole probably..

"I said send SUPPLIES "

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By *stronomiqueMan
3 weeks ago

Warton / Freckleton

You knock-kneed, knackered old nosebag.

And

What are you trying to insert ?

Hylda Baker...nearest and dearest

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By *astDevonGuyMan
3 weeks ago

Seaton

Here’s a box , a musical box …….

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By *edMan
3 weeks ago

south wales

[Removed by poster at 28/05/26 16:05:39]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *IPMANMan
3 weeks ago

West London

Two soups.....

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By *IPMANMan
3 weeks ago

West London

I am 'aving a fag....

Waynetta Slob

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By *IPMANMan
3 weeks ago

West London

Hotpot...... Betty Turpin

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By *IPMANMan
3 weeks ago

West London

Boinnnng... time for bed said Zebedee

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By *IPMANMan
3 weeks ago

West London

Hello Dear thing said Ermintrude

I hate canned music said Dylan....music schmuck

Hello Mollusc ....said Dylan

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By *astDevonGuyMan
3 weeks ago

Seaton

I heard that , pardon ….

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By *lueoscarMan
3 weeks ago

alfreton/chesterfield

Rita Sullivan to Cilla why you are nothing but a common tart

Cilla, I'm not common.

Corrie

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ullmytriggerMan
3 weeks ago

Crewe

Tony: "So, you're not pregnant, then?"

Bren: "Not unless sperm can get through a sash window."

Dinnerladies! So many on that show but love that one lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Bedford

For mash get smash x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *acingfanMan
3 weeks ago

Huddersfield

"She knows, you know."

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *acingfanMan
3 weeks ago

Huddersfield

"You ain't my muvva!"

"Yes, I am!"

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By *aster islandMan
3 weeks ago

navan

So why they call u Dave then ...

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By *ever5512Man
3 weeks ago

beecles

Mercedes, sauna and room for a pony

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By *eepeter4Man
3 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Language Timothy (Ronnie Corbett in Sorry)

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By *ust4inchesMan
3 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

“Anything could happen in the next half hour” - Stingray

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ust4inchesMan
3 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

“We're The Sweeney, son, and we haven't had any dinner.”

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By *ishop666Man
3 weeks ago

ls19

I could jump off a dolls house (cracker house)

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"YOU! YOU!!!...Mr Lah-de-dah huniversity heducated Gunner Graham!!!!"

- BSM Williams - "It Aint Half Hot Mum!"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ust4inchesMan
3 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

“BD to Z Victor 1” - Z Cars

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By *airyDivDadMan
3 weeks ago

Whiston

"A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed"

Never been more relevant.

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By *astyBottomMan
3 weeks ago

Crewe


"We're on a winner here, Trig. Play it nice and cool....."

What I want his rotten pork pies for? I don't even like pork pies!

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By *rTongueTasticMan
3 weeks ago

Close_To_Chichester

So... my 2 favourite from all those great contributions are..

The Crackerjack quote & the Tony & Bren exchange from Dinner Ladies..

Great Thread OP

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By *ammerhant420Man
3 weeks ago

Bromley, Kent

That would be an ecumenical matter.

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By *hilledazzMan
3 weeks ago

Down

The most important

The most beautiful

The most magical saggy old cloth cat in the whole wide world

But Emily loved him

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By *rancd2TV/TS
3 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

This is the voice of the Mysterons. We know that you can hear us Earthmen.

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By *earlyrichTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Somewhere in time


""Berk! Where's my dinner?"

Trapdoor"

Fantastic programme!

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By *oothlessTigerMan
3 weeks ago

Reading

Crossroads Motel can I help you?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *earlyrichTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Somewhere in time

Hello, good evening, and welcome.

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By *earlyrichTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Somewhere in time

Listen carefully, I shall say zis only once!

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Edward Hitler, come down here this instant!

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"You stupid woman! Can you not see that I was comforting the poor girl in a moment of need?"

Rene Artois " 'Allo, 'Allo"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *elenaCDTV/TS
3 weeks ago

In the sticks Somerset

Lovely Boy!- Fine pair of Shoulders!

BSM Williams - "It Aint Half Hot Mum!"

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By *usicmanxxxMan
3 weeks ago

west lancs

Am playing all the right notes

But not necessarily in the right order

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Evenin' All!"

Sgt Dixon - "Dixon of Dock Green"

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By *ammerhant420Man
3 weeks ago

Bromley, Kent


"This is the voice of the Mysterons. We know that you can hear us Earthmen."

Captain Scarlet is indestructible. You are not. Remember this. Do not try to imitate him.

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By *rTongueTasticMan
3 weeks ago

Close_To_Chichester


"Am playing all the right notes

But not necessarily in the right order

"

..the timelines M&W..

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Andantino or no Andantino, I'm rolling away to Crimond!".

"Mine's a Milk Stout".

"Now you listen 'ere Elsie Tanner!"

- Ena Sharples (Violet Carson) - Coronation Street.

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

" Well if had my way, I'd like to go like me mother did..... She just sat up, broke wind, and died. We all having the same again, girls?"

Ena Sharples "Coronation Street" to her friends Minnie Caldwell and Martha Longhurst in the Snug of the Rovers Return. The good old days of The Street!

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By *atietv1TV/TS
3 weeks ago

co. Durham

Brace yourself Rodney ( just before the chandelier crashes down )

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By *eliaTVTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Doncaster

"Very good...........Get off"

Eric Morecombe. Brilliant .

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By *alking HeadMan
3 weeks ago

Bolton

Black on white Philip....black on white! Miss Jones, Rising Damp.

On the coldest night of the year, if I opened the door, looked out into the cold and dark, and saw another set of eyes glaring back, it was definitively "Goodnight, Vienna". Rigsby on why he named his cat Vienna.

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By *acingfanMan
3 weeks ago

Huddersfield

"What chance did he ever have with an arsonist prostitutte for a mother and a bigamist alcoholic bookmaker for a father?"

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By *onte973075Man
3 weeks ago

Newport

I could spend my life having this conversation......please understand before one of us dies

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By *tephanie9090TV/TS
3 weeks ago

Bishop

"To me, to you!"

The Chuckle Brothers..

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By *ickenthusiastMan
3 weeks ago

Norwich

”Terri, when I want your advice, I’ll give you the special signal. Which is me being sectioned under the Mental Health Act.” - The Thick of it.

Actually this post is just going to be entirely Thick of it quotes.

"He's dense. He’s so dense that light bends around him.”

"I think we should use the 'carrot and stick' approach. You take a carrot, stick it up his fuckin' arse, followed by the stick, followed by an even bigger, rougher carrot."

"You can't overwrite minutes! Well, you specifically can't, because you don't know how to unlock the pdf file."

"I'm bored of this. I'm going for a Twix."

"I don't know [how to clear a paper jam]... Kill a kid an hour until it sorts itself out?"

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By *usicmanxxxMan
3 weeks ago

west lancs

Mick they’ve got a knife

Nah that’s not a knife this is a knife

Mick Dundee

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By *xxkinkycoupleCouple (MM)
3 weeks ago

Alcester

She's got a tongue like an electric eel, and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils!

Lord Flashheart

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By *heekychap81Man
3 weeks ago

overthehill

Play it nice and easy trig nice and easy

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By *heekychap81Man
3 weeks ago

overthehill


"Play it nice and easy trig nice and easy "

Think it was actually nice and cool trig nice and cool lol

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By *hancer69Man
3 weeks ago

Kilmarnock

Oooooh you are awful...but i like you! Dick Emery

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By *alarieTV/TS
3 weeks ago

castlemilk

Listen very carefully I shall say this only once ...(said in a French accent)

Allo allo

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By *alarieTV/TS
3 weeks ago

castlemilk

The fallen Madonna with the big boobies

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By *ajkumarkapoorMan
3 weeks ago

London

Lovely jubbly.

Don't panic! Don't panic!

I don't believe it!

Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once.

Are you being served?

You might very well think that; I couldn't possibly comment.

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By *ich65Man
3 weeks ago

Chorley

[Removed by poster at 30/05/26 00:50:35]

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By *ickenthusiastMan
3 weeks ago

Norwich

ok if we're gonna go all Blackadder...

“They do say, Mrs M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head.”

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By *iss Leanne BTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Manchester


"The most important

The most beautiful

The most magical saggy old cloth cat in the whole wide world

But Emily loved him "

Bagpuss?

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By *earlyrichTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Somewhere in time

Getting your head down sweetie?...jolly good idea.

Leonard Rossiter to Dame Joan Collins, Cinzano ad.

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Where's me pudding?" - Grandad in "Bread"

"SHE IS A TART!!" - Nellie Boswell referring to Lilo Lil in "Bread"

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By *avidsubbiMan
3 weeks ago

aberdare

"What is your name .its going in my black book...(German accent)...dont tell him pike...(captain manaring)....DADS ARMY

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By *ammerhant420Man
3 weeks ago

Bromley, Kent

I AM NOT A NUMBER! I AM A FREE MAN!!

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By *ennie_BlondeTV/TS
3 weeks ago

616

That was classic intercourse. Alan Partridge

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By *risty69TV/TS
3 weeks ago

Mansfield

Jack Regan to villain…..get your trousers on, you’re nicked.

“Sweeney”

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By *arlos 0511Man
3 weeks ago

Manchester

What is Witnit?

Look, it doesn't matter. Oh, I could spend the rest of my life having this conversation. Now, please, please, try to understand before one of us dies.

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"I'm free!"

Mr Humphreys played by the late John Inman as he minced perfectly across the salesfloor in Grace Bros department store in "Are You Being Served?"

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By *evanian OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"I'm the only gay in the village!"

Daffydd Thomas, played by Matt Lucas in "Little Britain" the sketch that gave fame to the village of Llandewi-Brefi.

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By *manMan
3 weeks ago

wiltshire near stapleford

" All in the best possible taste" by Cupid Stunt, Kenny Everett

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By *92.168.0.1Man
3 weeks ago

London

"Is that a phone in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

Blackadder I Believe?

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By *cottfreeMan
3 weeks ago

Stevenage


""Vot is your name?" - German officer to Private Pike in Dad's Army

"Don't tell him Pike!" - Captain Mainwaring. 😆Wasn't that Uncle Albert OFAH no is catch phase was during the War "
Episode with the German girl, Uncle Albert says he can speak German and asks the girl Vot is Ur name.

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By *ose_QuartzTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Berkshire

Keep em peeled.

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By *ndsotobedMan
3 weeks ago

Towcester

Basil: I think I may have mentioned the war, but I think I got away with it!!

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By *lough97Man
3 weeks ago

Slough

Blimey you’re going back a bit ! (Dick Emery)

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By *ndsotobedMan
3 weeks ago

Towcester

We’d like to apologise to our viewers up North. It must be awful for you!

No, you can have 3 bounces of the cuddly toy, not 13. I’m a continuity presenter, not Fatima Whitbread!

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By *eepeter4Man
3 weeks ago

Bournemouth

The poor lads miss it oh the poor lad , Eddie Waring commentary on Don Fox missing a Conversion (Wakefield v Leeds rugby league cup final)

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By *ressmesissyTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Basingstoke

I Want to Moonwalk Son, But life's a Shithouse

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By *leepflowerMan
3 weeks ago

Leek


"I Want to Moonwalk Son, But life's a Shithouse"

I'd thought about doing one from Phoenix Nights so I'll go with -

It's a 20 foot cock and balls, man.

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By *jw58Man
3 weeks ago

Newport

Oh that's a shame ......

But come and see what you could have won !

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By *8daveMan
3 weeks ago

gu35

Speed has never killed anyone……………….suddenly becoming stationary that’s what gets you !

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By *hilledazzMan
3 weeks ago

Down

Pea and ham from a chicken, now that’s clever.

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By *ete1000100Man
3 weeks ago

Salford

You dirty old man

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By *earlyrichTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Somewhere in time

"Dad, do you know the piano's on my foot?"

"No son, but you hum it and I'll play it."

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By *earlyrichTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Somewhere in time

A finger of fudge is just enough...

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By *earlyrichTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Somewhere in time

"They think it's all over!

It is now!"

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