FabGuys.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Malapropisms

Jump to newest
 

By *ndsotobed OP   Man
3 weeks ago

buxton

Know any good maliprops?

He danced the flamingo

Has a sedimentary lifestyle

He always wanted to become preposterous

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

I don't understand your question, could you be a bit more Pacific!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iPantiesMan
3 weeks ago

Louth

Well im on tender hooks here waiting for all intensive purposes for an answer

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elenaCDTV/TS
3 weeks ago

In the sticks Somerset

Don't know exactly where but he lives somewhere effluent!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *itesomeladMan
3 weeks ago

Huddersfield

A bloke I used to work with was a snooker fan.

The highlight of his year was a trip to Sheffield to watch the games played at the " Runcible"!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arry999Man
3 weeks ago

Lowestoft

Some people seem to be making nasturtiums about my use of English!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elenaCDTV/TS
3 weeks ago

In the sticks Somerset

I'm useless at painting, best find an inferior decorator!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tar33Man
3 weeks ago

North London (outer)

I was shopping for some new bedroom furniture this morning, bought a lovely Chester Draws.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issy crystalTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Hook

This thread is virgin on the ridiculous

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Bedford

Well we all make mistakes nun of us are inflatable xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rowserMan
3 weeks ago

East Kent

To all intensive purposes, this is a doggy dog world

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *0yguyMan
3 weeks ago

Cumbria

I’m so hungry…. Completely ravished!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

That guy!!!.... That guy !!! 😡....He's nothing but a wolf in cheap clothing!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *0yguyMan
3 weeks ago

Cumbria

It’s said frequent sex is good for your prostrate

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlos 0511Man
3 weeks ago

Manchester

I can wank just as well with both hands. It's great being amphibious

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ildwestheroMan
3 weeks ago

Llandrindod Wells


"A bloke I used to work with was a snooker fan.

The highlight of his year was a trip to Sheffield to watch the games played at the " Runcible"!!!"

Did they use spoons instead of cues?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issycumslut10TV/TS
3 weeks ago

Luton

Maliprops Society theme tune ? Israelites

(Me ears are alight) !

Chairman ? Peter Kay

(If you’ve seen him live)

Chairwoman ? Ethel from Eastenders

(You have to be of an age - mid 80’s)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

Now it's all gone wrong he's looking for an escape goat!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Bedford

i was reading a book in reading ive found it can Be quite a reed worth reading xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

I am prostate with grief over losing my earthrings and a Quakering in my boots

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

And I'm amadent you got this wrong

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"I call again for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza, the return of the sausages...."

- Sir Keir Rodney Starmer,

September 2024.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iBobOxonMan
3 weeks ago

Thame/Aylesbury


"Now it's all gone wrong he's looking for an escape goat!"

This made me laugh, thanks

I also like ; It’s a completely different kettle of ballgames

And, well if you learn that it’s another string to your elbow

During lockdown my lady’s mother repeatedly referred to it as clampdown, despite the fact that no one else in the world was calling it that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *alking HeadMan
3 weeks ago

Bolton

Audrey in The Bradshaws of Barnoldswick was very good at them. Dad was 3 sheets to the wind "don't talk to him Billy lad, he's plastic".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

As an old girl sitting at the next table to me in a Liverpool coffee shop said recently ..."I'll tell ya wha'..we're goin' to be gettin' more floodin' with all this global wormin' they keep goin' on about!" 😅

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago


"As an old girl sitting at the next table to me in a Liverpool coffee shop said recently ..."I'll tell ya wha'..we're goin' to be gettin' more floodin' with all this global wormin' they keep goin' on about!" 😅"

Love an expresso and listening to old folks chatting in a cafe.

Reminds me of my dad, he was an invertebrate story teller!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rpheus69Man
3 weeks ago

Ebbw Vale

One of my friends tells me his new TV is state of the ark.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

Old lady talking to her friend... "Me cars failed it's MOT... they said it were the cardboard remissions."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlos 0511Man
3 weeks ago

Manchester

Old sick guy wanted to end it all. He was advised to consider the youth in Asia.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enri du lacMan
3 weeks ago

Coventry

Philately will get you nowhere.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *olfstarMan
3 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I’m utterly perspexed about all of these goings on!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"The doctor's sending me for an autopsy to see what it is, he said it won't hurt."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"He was a parrot-trooper in the war!"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aulie666Man
3 weeks ago

Bristol

Too many bilinguals on this site!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *raggyjackMan
3 weeks ago

Dublin


"Too many bilinguals on this site!"

I represent that statement!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ildwestheroMan
3 weeks ago

Llandrindod Wells

A customer excitedly told me that he had stood in his garden one clear night an seen the play-station zoom across the sky.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *laingreedyMan
3 weeks ago

Chelmsford


"That guy!!!.... That guy !!! 😡....He's nothing but a wolf in cheap clothing! "

Could he be a sheep in wolf’s clothing?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *G602Man
3 weeks ago

South Hants

..with a black belt in Karachi.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *owzerMan
3 weeks ago

Chester... Where the streets have no name


"..with a black belt in Karachi."

I've got a black belt in Ludo..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ingerieloverMan
3 weeks ago

Congleton

I was very sceptical at first

I blinked & mist it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ldmanMan
3 weeks ago

Rawcliffe Bridge.

A friend of mine only ever had "organisms" and not "orgasms", and at the time of the "millennium bug", was so worried about the "Linoleum bug"!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *3versMan
3 weeks ago

glasgow

Is this the place beside Player del Ingels?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Fecal Impaction….one of Michael Douglas’ best movies.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rowserMan
3 weeks ago

East Kent

My grandma said she could vote, her name was on the electrical roll.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *DC2000Man
3 weeks ago

Coningsby

After visiting a medium and tarot card reader, a friend told me the woman "was amazing, she's septic!"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ildwestheroMan
3 weeks ago

Llandrindod Wells

Michelangelo painted the ceiling of the Sixteenth Chapel in Rome.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *alking HeadMan
3 weeks ago

Bolton

On your wedding night...were you virgo intacto?

No...we were bed and breakfast.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Did you deny him his conjegular rights?

Su Pollard. Oh Dr Beeching

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ridayguyMan
3 weeks ago

Near Jodrell Bank

I tried a prostrate orgasm, lay on my belly for ages... nothing!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"He's been pumping iron again to build his petrols up."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hyna HutchMan
3 weeks ago

valleys

Someone I worked with ......

'Don't go rocking the applecart'.

'I don't care, it's like water off a dog's back to me'.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Grrrrr! 😡.....I'm just taken for granite around here!"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Excuse me. Pardon my interupertering...

Vera in Oh Dr Beeching.

Lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ephyr47Man
3 weeks ago

ballinrobe

When I was on holiday, I saw an allegory on the banks of the Nile

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *erdyHollyTV/TS
3 weeks ago

In a galaxy far far away

I only eat orgasmic fruit and veg

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rowserMan
3 weeks ago

East Kent

"He's so quiet, he wouldn't say boo to a ghost".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

She is an influenza on utube

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohn4x4Man
3 weeks ago

Carlisle

It could go via Hull

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

The old clock suddenly fell off the wall but landed safely on the sofa... it was a blessing in the skies!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ildwestheroMan
3 weeks ago

Llandrindod Wells

I could be guilty of one. I've always used the expression 'dull as ditchwater'. Recently someone 'corrected' me and said it should be as 'dull as dishwater' So who is right? Perhaps we both are.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

dull as ditchwater"Dull as ditchwater" (and its common variant, "dull as dishwater") is an idiom that means extremely tedious, uninspiring, or boring. It is frequently used to describe a person, an event, a book, or any situation lacking excitement or interest.History and MeaningThe Origin: The phrase dates back to the 1700s and refers to the stagnant, muddy water that collects in roadside ditches. Because such water sits perfectly still, appears murky, and has no life or movement, it became the ultimate symbol of boredom

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iono555Man
3 weeks ago

DERBY

"NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH EXPOSITION!!!"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *urious6667Man
3 weeks ago

bed

This thread is just making up stupid gibberish!

Like hearing a conversation between friends who have a code only they know

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"They were hard times, they struggled to make hen's meat!"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issy crystalTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Hook


"This thread is just making up stupid gibberish!

Like hearing a conversation between friends who have a code only they know "

Ixnay onway ethay iningway

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Nix won the winning????

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Iay ontday noway hatway uoryay alkingtay

Boutaay

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *limboy68Man
3 weeks ago

St Albans


"A bloke I used to work with was a snooker fan.

The highlight of his year was a trip to Sheffield to watch the games played at the " Runcible"!!!"

Isnt that a Spoonerism?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *limboy68Man
3 weeks ago

St Albans


"I only eat orgasmic fruit and veg"

I could see that coming!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru


"Iay ontday noway hatway uoryay alkingtay

Boutaay"

It'sway allway igpay Atinlay,

ibberishgay otay onmesay itway eemssay! 😆

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru


"A bloke I used to work with was a snooker fan.

The highlight of his year was a trip to Sheffield to watch the games played at the " Runcible"!!!

Isnt that a Spoonerism?"

No, it's not a spoonerism. Spoonerisms swap the initial sounds of words, like lighting a fire to fighting a liar. Calling the Crucible the Runcible is a malapropism, which means using a similar-sounding wrong word instead of the correct one.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"They're were strictly monotonous in their marriage until she decided to play away!"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ildwestheroMan
3 weeks ago

Llandrindod Wells

Because I am a bit hard of hearing I have the subtitles permanently on when watching TV. They are notorious for getting things wrong:- 'I scream' for ice cream, 'Lara Shell' for La Rochelle and loads more.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eekeeper1000Man
3 weeks ago

Richmond. North Yorkshire

Once heard someone announce that she had turned on the emotion (immersion) heater before she & her husband had gone to bed. Have never been able to look at electrically operated water heaters in the same way since!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ridayguyMan
3 weeks ago

Near Jodrell Bank

[Removed by poster at 19/06/26 17:58:15]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ridayguyMan
3 weeks ago

Near Jodrell Bank


"A bloke I used to work with was a snooker fan.

The highlight of his year was a trip to Sheffield to watch the games played at the " Runcible"!!!

Isnt that a Spoonerism?

No, it's not a spoonerism. Spoonerisms swap the initial sounds of words, like lighting a fire to fighting a liar. Calling the Crucible the Runcible is a malapropism, which means using a similar-sounding wrong word instead of the correct one.

"

I think you want the malapropism chat forum post

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rTee69Man
3 weeks ago

B


"A bloke I used to work with was a snooker fan.

The highlight of his year was a trip to Sheffield to watch the games played at the " Runcible"!!!

Isnt that a Spoonerism?

No, it's not a spoonerism. Spoonerisms swap the initial sounds of words, like lighting a fire to fighting a liar. Calling the Crucible the Runcible is a malapropism, which means using a similar-sounding wrong word instead of the correct one.

"

I think you missed the gag there....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *MZ10458Man
3 weeks ago

rotherham


"A bloke I used to work with was a snooker fan.

The highlight of his year was a trip to Sheffield to watch the games played at the " Runcible"!!!

Did they use spoons instead of cues?"

The one with sedated edges

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ridayguyMan
3 weeks ago

Near Jodrell Bank

[Removed by poster at 19/06/26 19:20:42]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *awnrisingukTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Stevenage

I heard Andy Burnham had one big bi-erection last night

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lenheimMan
3 weeks ago

Woodstock

The very pineapple of a gentleman

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

His studio is the epiphany of organised chaos.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlos 0511Man
3 weeks ago

Manchester

Think I need a couple more sexual partners. Fed up of being monotonous.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elenaCDTV/TS
3 weeks ago

In the sticks Somerset

Add Milk and Eggs and beat to a smooth constituency.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *immewillyMan
3 weeks ago

Dundee


"I’m so hungry…. Completely ravished!"

This made me laugh out loud and snort unattractively

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"The donation came from a unanimous supporter."

"The board were anonymous in their decision".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aul DeUther-OneMan
3 weeks ago

Sussex coast

A nickname for a baked pastry filled with cheap off cuts of meat:

Snake and pigmy pie

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru


"A nickname for a baked pastry filled with cheap off cuts of meat:

Snake and pigmy pie"

Also known as a Kate and Sydney Pie. 😊

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ildwestheroMan
2 weeks ago

Llandrindod Wells

A written one seen in a pub just after the 2007 smoking ban:

NO SMOKING ALOUD.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lymouth guy 55Man
2 weeks ago

south glos

My mum once told her friends that "I playe d the sympathiser in a band" and that I treated her to a pead(not pedicure)ophile, for her birthday.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r DimpsMan
2 weeks ago

hull

I'm actually an ex copper, I used to be a defective.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ndsotobed OP   Man
2 weeks ago

buxton

I could smelter in this heat!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eryCuriousGuyMan
2 weeks ago

Tidworth

Is this the way to Armadillo?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enstep12Man
2 weeks ago

huddersfield

That’s put the cat amongst the penguins

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *obbleTV/TS
2 weeks ago

manchester

Going on holiday to Bemindorm.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eryCuriousGuyMan
2 weeks ago

Tidworth

Anyone suffer from old timers disease?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ral b..Man
2 weeks ago

.

My effort is a bit of a damp squid

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
2 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"It was a beautiful scene, I can just pitcher it now!" 🫣

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elenaCDTV/TS
1 week ago

In the sticks Somerset

Keep my lingerie in a chest of draws.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aptain BreederMan
1 week ago

Livingston

The pilot accidentally hit the ejaculator seat button

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ildwestheroMan
1 week ago

Llandrindod Wells

Read one on social media yesterday. Someone had signed a partition and urged others to do so. Could be prosecuted for graffiti

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iguy50sMan
1 week ago

Woking

I resemble that remark!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ichey6Man
1 week ago

aberdeen

He virus signalled.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ichey6Man
1 week ago

aberdeen

I broke the roaster

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
1 week ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Well first up, after the news, I'm going to be talking to Jeremy Cunt..... erm... Hunt, the culture secretary, about broadband."

- James Naughtie on BBC R4's Today programme in 2010, heritage version available on YouTube. 😅

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *0yguyMan
1 week ago

Cumbria

Cake recipe that includes defecated coconut!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *erdyHollyTV/TS
1 week ago

In a galaxy far far away

My favourite crisps are pawn cocktail

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ichey6Man
1 week ago

aberdeen

[Removed by poster at 30/06/26 11:59:55]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
1 week ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

It was lovely day, so they went cycling along the coast on their tantrum.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ridayguyMan
1 week ago

Near Jodrell Bank

nice people were around them so they were nice to each other X they were cunning linguists

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlos 0511Man
1 week ago

Manchester

And would you like a flake in your ice cream cone sir?

Ooh yes, I love a 69

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
1 week ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru


"And would you like a flake in your ice cream cone sir?

Ooh yes, I love a 69"

Quite absentmindedly, years ago I once asked an ice-cream seller for 'two 69's please', he served without comment....as I was walking away from his van I suddenly thought.... 'OMG! What did I just say!!" 🫣

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ndsotobed OP   Man
1 week ago

buxton

I gave the rest of my pastry to two pigeons. Made me smile to think I filled two birds with one scone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *0yguyMan
1 week ago

Cumbria


"It was lovely day, so they went cycling along the coast on their tantrum. "

You’re mistaken… it was a concubine.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
1 week ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru


"It was lovely day, so they went cycling along the coast on their tantrum.

You’re mistaken… it was a concubine."

Oh no, it wasn't as big as a concubine harvester, it was a recycle made for two, so definitely a tantrum. 😅

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *0yguyMan
1 week ago

Cumbria


"It was lovely day, so they went cycling along the coast on their tantrum.

You’re mistaken… it was a concubine.

Oh no, it wasn't as big as a concubine harvester, it was a recycle made for two, so definitely a tantrum. 😅"

….or maybe it was just a bifocal.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlos 0511Man
1 week ago

Manchester

The Italian who went to Malta

One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pisses of toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don’t even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tella her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.

So I go back to my room ina hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: “Peace on you.” I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italia! Arrivederci.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lly69coolMan
1 week ago

shanklin

A neighbour had been delivering leaflets and declared that she had torn a cartridge in her knee.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
1 week ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru


"The Italian who went to Malta

One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pisses of toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don’t even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tella her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.

So I go back to my room ina hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: “Peace on you.” I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italia! Arrivederci."

😅😅😅 Brilliant!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evanianMan
1 week ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

Oooh! Nearly 11am and time for an expresso! ☕

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ildwestheroMan
6 days ago

Llandrindod Wells

Another subtitle one on TV this morning. The guy doing the voice-over on a rugby match was described as a Common Tater.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ichey6Man
6 days ago

aberdeen

The Tower Of London Beckhams🤣

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlie700Man
6 days ago

glossop

[Removed by poster at 04/07/26 11:54:42]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harlie700Man
6 days ago

glossop

“ It’s like the Spanish Intermission “ (Audrey)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ichey6Man
3 days ago

aberdeen

His condensation was noticeable!!

🥳

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ndsotobed OP   Man
3 hours ago

buxton

If you’re having probs with down below, see a groinecologist

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *oltonbifellaMan
2 hours ago

Bolton

I love Blackpool hallucinations.

Credit Hylda Baker

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top