FabGuys.com forum: Malapropisms

By *ndsotobed OP Man
3 weeks ago

buxton

Know any good maliprops?

He danced the flamingo

Has a sedimentary lifestyle

He always wanted to become preposterous

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

I don't understand your question, could you be a bit more Pacific!

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By *iPantiesMan
3 weeks ago

Louth

Well im on tender hooks here waiting for all intensive purposes for an answer

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By *elenaCDTV/TS
3 weeks ago

In the sticks Somerset

Don't know exactly where but he lives somewhere effluent!

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By *itesomeladMan
3 weeks ago

Huddersfield

A bloke I used to work with was a snooker fan.

The highlight of his year was a trip to Sheffield to watch the games played at the " Runcible"!!!

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By *arry999Man
3 weeks ago

Lowestoft

Some people seem to be making nasturtiums about my use of English!

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By *elenaCDTV/TS
3 weeks ago

In the sticks Somerset

I'm useless at painting, best find an inferior decorator!

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By *tar33Man
3 weeks ago

North London (outer)

I was shopping for some new bedroom furniture this morning, bought a lovely Chester Draws.

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By *issy crystalTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Hook

This thread is virgin on the ridiculous

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Bedford

Well we all make mistakes nun of us are inflatable xx

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By *rowserMan
3 weeks ago

East Kent

To all intensive purposes, this is a doggy dog world

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By *0yguyMan
3 weeks ago

Cumbria

I’m so hungry…. Completely ravished!

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

That guy!!!.... That guy !!! 😡....He's nothing but a wolf in cheap clothing!

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By *0yguyMan
3 weeks ago

Cumbria

It’s said frequent sex is good for your prostrate

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By *arlos 0511Man
3 weeks ago

Manchester

I can wank just as well with both hands. It's great being amphibious

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By *ildwestheroMan
3 weeks ago

Llandrindod Wells

"A bloke I used to work with was a snooker fan.

The highlight of his year was a trip to Sheffield to watch the games played at the " Runcible"!!!"

Did they use spoons instead of cues?

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By *issycumslut10TV/TS
3 weeks ago

Luton

Maliprops Society theme tune ? Israelites

(Me ears are alight) !

Chairman ? Peter Kay

(If you’ve seen him live)

Chairwoman ? Ethel from Eastenders

(You have to be of an age - mid 80’s)

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

Now it's all gone wrong he's looking for an escape goat!

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Bedford

i was reading a book in reading ive found it can Be quite a reed worth reading xx

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

I am prostate with grief over losing my earthrings and a Quakering in my boots

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

And I'm amadent you got this wrong

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"I call again for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza, the return of the sausages...."

- Sir Keir Rodney Starmer,

September 2024.

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By *iBobOxonMan
3 weeks ago

Thame/Aylesbury

"Now it's all gone wrong he's looking for an escape goat!"

This made me laugh, thanks

I also like ; It’s a completely different kettle of ballgames

And, well if you learn that it’s another string to your elbow

During lockdown my lady’s mother repeatedly referred to it as clampdown, despite the fact that no one else in the world was calling it that.

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By *alking HeadMan
3 weeks ago

Bolton

Audrey in The Bradshaws of Barnoldswick was very good at them. Dad was 3 sheets to the wind "don't talk to him Billy lad, he's plastic".

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

As an old girl sitting at the next table to me in a Liverpool coffee shop said recently ..."I'll tell ya wha'..we're goin' to be gettin' more floodin' with all this global wormin' they keep goin' on about!" 😅

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

"As an old girl sitting at the next table to me in a Liverpool coffee shop said recently ..."I'll tell ya wha'..we're goin' to be gettin' more floodin' with all this global wormin' they keep goin' on about!" 😅"

Love an expresso and listening to old folks chatting in a cafe.

Reminds me of my dad, he was an invertebrate story teller!

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By *rpheus69Man
3 weeks ago

Ebbw Vale

One of my friends tells me his new TV is state of the ark.

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

Old lady talking to her friend... "Me cars failed it's MOT... they said it were the cardboard remissions."

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By *arlos 0511Man
3 weeks ago

Manchester

Old sick guy wanted to end it all. He was advised to consider the youth in Asia.

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By *enri du lacMan
3 weeks ago

Coventry

Philately will get you nowhere.

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By *olfstarMan
3 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I’m utterly perspexed about all of these goings on!

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"The doctor's sending me for an autopsy to see what it is, he said it won't hurt."

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"He was a parrot-trooper in the war!"

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By *aulie666Man
3 weeks ago

Bristol

Too many bilinguals on this site!

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By *raggyjackMan
3 weeks ago

Dublin

"Too many bilinguals on this site!"

I represent that statement!

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By *ildwestheroMan
3 weeks ago

Llandrindod Wells

A customer excitedly told me that he had stood in his garden one clear night an seen the play-station zoom across the sky.

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By *laingreedyMan
3 weeks ago

Chelmsford

"That guy!!!.... That guy !!! 😡....He's nothing but a wolf in cheap clothing! "

Could he be a sheep in wolf’s clothing?

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By *G602Man
3 weeks ago

South Hants

..with a black belt in Karachi.

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By *owzerMan
3 weeks ago

Chester... Where the streets have no name

"..with a black belt in Karachi."

I've got a black belt in Ludo..

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By *ingerieloverMan
3 weeks ago

Congleton

I was very sceptical at first

I blinked & mist it

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By *ldmanMan
3 weeks ago

Rawcliffe Bridge.

A friend of mine only ever had "organisms" and not "orgasms", and at the time of the "millennium bug", was so worried about the "Linoleum bug"!

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By *3versMan
3 weeks ago

glasgow

Is this the place beside Player del Ingels?

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Fecal Impaction….one of Michael Douglas’ best movies.

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By *rowserMan
3 weeks ago

East Kent

My grandma said she could vote, her name was on the electrical roll.

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By *DC2000Man
3 weeks ago

Coningsby

After visiting a medium and tarot card reader, a friend told me the woman "was amazing, she's septic!"

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By *ildwestheroMan
3 weeks ago

Llandrindod Wells

Michelangelo painted the ceiling of the Sixteenth Chapel in Rome.

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By *alking HeadMan
3 weeks ago

Bolton

On your wedding night...were you virgo intacto?

No...we were bed and breakfast.

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Did you deny him his conjegular rights?

Su Pollard. Oh Dr Beeching

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By *ridayguyMan
3 weeks ago

Near Jodrell Bank

I tried a prostrate orgasm, lay on my belly for ages... nothing!

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"He's been pumping iron again to build his petrols up."

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By *hyna HutchMan
3 weeks ago

valleys

Someone I worked with ......

'Don't go rocking the applecart'.

'I don't care, it's like water off a dog's back to me'.

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Grrrrr! 😡.....I'm just taken for granite around here!"

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Excuse me. Pardon my interupertering...

Vera in Oh Dr Beeching.

Lol

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By *ephyr47Man
3 weeks ago

ballinrobe

When I was on holiday, I saw an allegory on the banks of the Nile

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By *erdyHollyTV/TS
3 weeks ago

In a galaxy far far away

I only eat orgasmic fruit and veg

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By *rowserMan
3 weeks ago

East Kent

"He's so quiet, he wouldn't say boo to a ghost".

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

She is an influenza on utube

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By *ohn4x4Man
3 weeks ago

Carlisle

It could go via Hull

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

The old clock suddenly fell off the wall but landed safely on the sofa... it was a blessing in the skies!

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By *ildwestheroMan
3 weeks ago

Llandrindod Wells

I could be guilty of one. I've always used the expression 'dull as ditchwater'. Recently someone 'corrected' me and said it should be as 'dull as dishwater' So who is right? Perhaps we both are.

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

dull as ditchwater"Dull as ditchwater" (and its common variant, "dull as dishwater") is an idiom that means extremely tedious, uninspiring, or boring. It is frequently used to describe a person, an event, a book, or any situation lacking excitement or interest.History and MeaningThe Origin: The phrase dates back to the 1700s and refers to the stagnant, muddy water that collects in roadside ditches. Because such water sits perfectly still, appears murky, and has no life or movement, it became the ultimate symbol of boredom

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By *iono555Man
3 weeks ago

DERBY

"NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH EXPOSITION!!!"

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By *urious6667Man
3 weeks ago

bed

This thread is just making up stupid gibberish!

Like hearing a conversation between friends who have a code only they know

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"They were hard times, they struggled to make hen's meat!"

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By *issy crystalTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Hook

"This thread is just making up stupid gibberish!

Like hearing a conversation between friends who have a code only they know "

Ixnay onway ethay iningway

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Nix won the winning????

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Iay ontday noway hatway uoryay alkingtay

Boutaay

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By *limboy68Man
3 weeks ago

St Albans

"A bloke I used to work with was a snooker fan.

The highlight of his year was a trip to Sheffield to watch the games played at the " Runcible"!!!"

Isnt that a Spoonerism?

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By *limboy68Man
3 weeks ago

St Albans

"I only eat orgasmic fruit and veg"

I could see that coming!

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Iay ontday noway hatway uoryay alkingtay

Boutaay"

It'sway allway igpay Atinlay,

ibberishgay otay onmesay itway eemssay! 😆

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"A bloke I used to work with was a snooker fan.

The highlight of his year was a trip to Sheffield to watch the games played at the " Runcible"!!!

Isnt that a Spoonerism?"

No, it's not a spoonerism. Spoonerisms swap the initial sounds of words, like lighting a fire to fighting a liar. Calling the Crucible the Runcible is a malapropism, which means using a similar-sounding wrong word instead of the correct one.

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"They're were strictly monotonous in their marriage until she decided to play away!"

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By *ildwestheroMan
3 weeks ago

Llandrindod Wells

Because I am a bit hard of hearing I have the subtitles permanently on when watching TV. They are notorious for getting things wrong:- 'I scream' for ice cream, 'Lara Shell' for La Rochelle and loads more.

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By *eekeeper1000Man
3 weeks ago

Richmond. North Yorkshire

Once heard someone announce that she had turned on the emotion (immersion) heater before she & her husband had gone to bed. Have never been able to look at electrically operated water heaters in the same way since!

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By *ridayguyMan
3 weeks ago

Near Jodrell Bank

[Removed by poster at 19/06/26 17:58:15]

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By *ridayguyMan
3 weeks ago

Near Jodrell Bank

"A bloke I used to work with was a snooker fan.

The highlight of his year was a trip to Sheffield to watch the games played at the " Runcible"!!!

Isnt that a Spoonerism?

"
I think you want the malapropism chat forum post

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By *rTee69Man
3 weeks ago

"A bloke I used to work with was a snooker fan.

The highlight of his year was a trip to Sheffield to watch the games played at the " Runcible"!!!

Isnt that a Spoonerism?

I think you missed the gag there....

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By *MZ10458Man
3 weeks ago

rotherham

"A bloke I used to work with was a snooker fan.

The highlight of his year was a trip to Sheffield to watch the games played at the " Runcible"!!!

Did they use spoons instead of cues?"

The one with sedated edges

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By *ridayguyMan
3 weeks ago

Near Jodrell Bank

[Removed by poster at 19/06/26 19:20:42]

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By *awnrisingukTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Stevenage

I heard Andy Burnham had one big bi-erection last night

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By *lenheimMan
3 weeks ago

Woodstock

The very pineapple of a gentleman

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

His studio is the epiphany of organised chaos.

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By *arlos 0511Man
3 weeks ago

Manchester

Think I need a couple more sexual partners. Fed up of being monotonous.

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By *elenaCDTV/TS
3 weeks ago

In the sticks Somerset

Add Milk and Eggs and beat to a smooth constituency.

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By *immewillyMan
3 weeks ago

Dundee

"I’m so hungry…. Completely ravished!"

This made me laugh out loud and snort unattractively

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"The donation came from a unanimous supporter."

"The board were anonymous in their decision".

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
3 weeks ago

Sussex coast

A nickname for a baked pastry filled with cheap off cuts of meat:

Snake and pigmy pie

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By *evanianMan
3 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"A nickname for a baked pastry filled with cheap off cuts of meat:

Snake and pigmy pie"

Also known as a Kate and Sydney Pie. 😊

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By *ildwestheroMan
2 weeks ago

Llandrindod Wells

A written one seen in a pub just after the 2007 smoking ban:

NO SMOKING ALOUD.

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By *lymouth guy 55Man
2 weeks ago

south glos

My mum once told her friends that "I playe d the sympathiser in a band" and that I treated her to a pead(not pedicure)ophile, for her birthday.

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By *r DimpsMan
2 weeks ago

hull

I'm actually an ex copper, I used to be a defective.

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By *ndsotobed OP Man
2 weeks ago

buxton

I could smelter in this heat!

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By *eryCuriousGuyMan
2 weeks ago

Tidworth

Is this the way to Armadillo?

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By *enstep12Man
2 weeks ago

huddersfield

That’s put the cat amongst the penguins

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By *obbleTV/TS
2 weeks ago

manchester

Going on holiday to Bemindorm.

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By *eryCuriousGuyMan
2 weeks ago

Tidworth

Anyone suffer from old timers disease?

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By *ral b..Man
2 weeks ago

My effort is a bit of a damp squid

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By *evanianMan
2 weeks ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"It was a beautiful scene, I can just pitcher it now!" 🫣

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By *elenaCDTV/TS
1 week ago

In the sticks Somerset

Keep my lingerie in a chest of draws.

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By *aptain BreederMan
1 week ago

Livingston

The pilot accidentally hit the ejaculator seat button

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By *ildwestheroMan
1 week ago

Llandrindod Wells

Read one on social media yesterday. Someone had signed a partition and urged others to do so. Could be prosecuted for graffiti

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By *iguy50sMan
1 week ago

Woking

I resemble that remark!

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By *ichey6Man
1 week ago

aberdeen

He virus signalled.

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By *ichey6Man
1 week ago

aberdeen

I broke the roaster

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By *evanianMan
1 week ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"Well first up, after the news, I'm going to be talking to Jeremy Cunt..... erm... Hunt, the culture secretary, about broadband."

- James Naughtie on BBC R4's Today programme in 2010, heritage version available on YouTube. 😅

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By *0yguyMan
1 week ago

Cumbria

Cake recipe that includes defecated coconut!

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By *erdyHollyTV/TS
1 week ago

In a galaxy far far away

My favourite crisps are pawn cocktail

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By *ichey6Man
1 week ago

aberdeen

[Removed by poster at 30/06/26 11:59:55]

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By *evanianMan
1 week ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

It was lovely day, so they went cycling along the coast on their tantrum.

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By *ridayguyMan
1 week ago

Near Jodrell Bank

nice people were around them so they were nice to each other X they were cunning linguists

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By *arlos 0511Man
1 week ago

Manchester

And would you like a flake in your ice cream cone sir?

Ooh yes, I love a 69

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By *evanianMan
1 week ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"And would you like a flake in your ice cream cone sir?

Ooh yes, I love a 69"

Quite absentmindedly, years ago I once asked an ice-cream seller for 'two 69's please', he served without comment....as I was walking away from his van I suddenly thought.... 'OMG! What did I just say!!" 🫣

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By *ndsotobed OP Man
1 week ago

buxton

I gave the rest of my pastry to two pigeons. Made me smile to think I filled two birds with one scone.

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By *0yguyMan
1 week ago

Cumbria

"It was lovely day, so they went cycling along the coast on their tantrum. "

You’re mistaken… it was a concubine.

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By *evanianMan
1 week ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"It was lovely day, so they went cycling along the coast on their tantrum.

You’re mistaken… it was a concubine."

Oh no, it wasn't as big as a concubine harvester, it was a recycle made for two, so definitely a tantrum. 😅

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By *0yguyMan
1 week ago

Cumbria

"It was lovely day, so they went cycling along the coast on their tantrum.

You’re mistaken… it was a concubine.

Oh no, it wasn't as big as a concubine harvester, it was a recycle made for two, so definitely a tantrum. 😅"

….or maybe it was just a bifocal.

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By *arlos 0511Man
1 week ago

Manchester

The Italian who went to Malta

One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pisses of toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don’t even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tella her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.

So I go back to my room ina hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: “Peace on you.” I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italia! Arrivederci.

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By *lly69coolMan
1 week ago

shanklin

A neighbour had been delivering leaflets and declared that she had torn a cartridge in her knee.

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By *evanianMan
1 week ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

"The Italian who went to Malta

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: “Peace on you.” I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italia! Arrivederci."

😅😅😅 Brilliant!

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By *evanianMan
1 week ago

Gogledd Ddwyrain Cymru

Oooh! Nearly 11am and time for an expresso! ☕

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By *ildwestheroMan
6 days ago

Llandrindod Wells

Another subtitle one on TV this morning. The guy doing the voice-over on a rugby match was described as a Common Tater.

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By *ichey6Man
6 days ago

aberdeen

The Tower Of London Beckhams🤣

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By *harlie700Man
6 days ago

glossop

[Removed by poster at 04/07/26 11:54:42]

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By *harlie700Man
6 days ago

glossop

“ It’s like the Spanish Intermission “ (Audrey)

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By *ichey6Man
3 days ago

aberdeen

His condensation was noticeable!!

🥳

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By *ndsotobed OP Man
3 hours ago

buxton

If you’re having probs with down below, see a groinecologist

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By *oltonbifellaMan
2 hours ago

Bolton

I love Blackpool hallucinations.

Credit Hylda Baker

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