FabGuys.com forum: Married and bi but guilt ridden

By *kmidsguy72 OP Man
6 weeks ago

Derby

I’m sure I’m not alone, but I can’t cope well with the feelings of guilt and wrongdoings over my gay sexual activity.

Married long time with 2 children (22m and 15f).

Sex life with wife virtually non existent. Had sex twice in last 30 months.

Resorted to having more frequent meets with men that I enjoy. NB - I practice safe sex only and no longer engage orally.

No one knows my sexuality. Family would be horrified.

Tried abstaining, feel so guilty after each meet, but inevitably I can’t stop, and longest I’ve abstained is 6 months.

I know what I’m doing is so wrong, it’s cheating (possibly even worse with a man). In every other aspect of my life as a husband and father everyone thinks what a kind, generous man I am. I love my family, and really hate myself at times.

Not looking for validation, but find the level of vitriol online against married men who engage in gay sexual activity even more demoralising.

I never set out in my life to be like this. I know it’s my choice to continue and my family are totally blameless. Just feel so lost.

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By *en DoverTV/TS
6 weeks ago

cirencester/stroud

I thought I had written this, exactly the same, married, grown up kids, straight acting family man, love fucking with guys, love getting fucked so much more than fucking (very rarely if at all) my wife, felt shame, guilt and all sorts of bad things when I re entered my bi life after not being with a man for 20 years plus, now I’m looking for a regular for sex with a guy or two happy knowing I am what I am

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By *ay4121Man
6 weeks ago

Bexleyheath

So is there a reason there is no sex with wife? Your choice or hers? Is sex with me a substitute or something you want or prefer?

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By *uca12345Man
6 weeks ago

Cheltenham

[Removed by poster at 07/11/25 14:25:08]

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By *ammy57TV/TS
6 weeks ago

Stevenage

It's partly why I'm sub.

I have an alternative ego. Tammy and she needs a strong dominant bf to keep her needs in check.

As Tammy I'm not a slut or a cheat I'm a good gurl doing as my owner says.

And he can own that part of me because it's not something anyone at home wants or respects.

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By *ishop666Man
6 weeks ago

ls19

Human nature is to explore

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By *oldsguyMan
6 weeks ago

A1079 Corridor

I so relate to the posts in here

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By *ovefist84Man
6 weeks ago

Oswestry

I am the same as you OP. Well, almost the same. I have sex with my wife, but sometimes I just need to suck a cock or get fucked. She even knows I'm bi and that I love cock and my hole being filled, but doesn't let me have fun with men. She sees it as betrayal. If she wanted to have fun with other women I wouldn't see it as betrayal. But that's just me...

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By *ioralwankcurious1Man
6 weeks ago

northwest

I just told my missus i wanted to try new stuff, she was up for joining in so win win

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By *hototed54Man
6 weeks ago

leeds

Don’t mix up sex and love they are 2 completely different things

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By *arridMan
6 weeks ago

Brighton

A lot of guys on here are in the same boat, mate. I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty.

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By *eekingcumsMan
6 weeks ago

Stoke/Stafford

I just don't want to hurt my Mrs, but NEED the sex I'm not getting at home.

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By *ubsteffTV/TS
6 weeks ago

Portsmouth

This almost exactly describes my life except the barren period of sex with my wife is far, far longer, her choice

I use to feel guilt but no longer.

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By *illycoop29Man
6 weeks ago

Aberdeenshire

My girlfriend doesn't know am here. Get sex at home but not as often as I would like sometimes.

Love seeing other guys enjoy my girls nudes and wanking to them as they tell me what they think of her

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By *luecatMan
6 weeks ago

near Acle, Norfolk

I’m exactly the same had been meeting guys for years as no sex at home but she found out and now I’m divorced! Now have a gf but still feel more attracted to sex with men

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By *oldsguyMan
6 weeks ago

A1079 Corridor

I cope with the guilt as the pleasure is needed

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By *orcester GuyMan
6 weeks ago

Worcestershire North

"I’m sure I’m not alone, but I can’t cope well with the feelings of guilt and wrongdoings over my gay sexual activity.

Married long time with 2 children (22m and 15f).

Sex life with wife virtually non existent. Had sex twice in last 30 months.

Resorted to having more frequent meets with men that I enjoy. NB - I practice safe sex only and no longer engage orally.

No one knows my sexuality. Family would be horrified.

Tried abstaining, feel so guilty after each meet, but inevitably I can’t stop, and longest I’ve abstained is 6 months.

Not looking for validation, but find the level of vitriol online against married men who engage in gay sexual activity even more demoralising.

I never set out in my life to be like this. I know it’s my choice to continue and my family are totally blameless. Just feel so lost."

You’ll find nearly all of us are exactly the same

Rinse & repeat

Horny need to act on them

Arrange a meet sauna trip

Take part

Feel guilty say never again

Few weeks pass

Guilt eases

Horny thoughts return

And so it goes on ….

What a lot of us do

Is put it in a box

You have your home family life

You have sexual urges and need to act on them

Do what you have to do

Put back in box

Act safely reduce risk as much as possible

Regular check ups

Your not after a relationship

It’s not an affair

Just sex

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By *ecretsucker37Man
6 weeks ago

Nelson

Know exactly where you’re coming from.

I only ever meet anon, so I can suck cock without having to deal with the man, plus it avoids any awkward encounters.

I never accom, and I only message on here, and never give personal info out. That way I can separate my personal life, and my cock sucking urges on here.

Still legally married and live together, but we’re as good as separated, and I’ve only started meeting since then.

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By *ndrewfunMan
6 weeks ago

London

I’m married. We do fuck but it’s not enough so I fuck others.

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By *untie DeniseTV/TS
6 weeks ago

Penzance

I used to feel guilt about straying away from my wife with my gay neighbour when younger.

Also married and was getting plenty back then from the wife.

Once the kids had flown the nest the sex started to dry up then she had a serious illness which meant that was the end of sex complete.

I love my wife dearly but I still needed sex, so I took on the woman’s role and became the female.

I love to dress up and play with men more so than sex with a woman.

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By *hs12Man
6 weeks ago

huntingdon nr

Mine going through menopause so sex is none exsistant a peck.on.the lips if I'm

Lucky... so I find I have to.look.elsewhere..

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By *regABCMan
6 weeks ago

blackhall

You would be surprised how many married guys like you enjoy male company.

Stop feeling guilty for enjoying it.

People are more understanding now than you credit them for.

2 choices abstain(difficult) or enjoy it

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By *umpy1968Man
6 weeks ago

Bridgwater

Excellent post. We have all felt or feel this at times or all the time. Ignore the ones that will take a moral high ground and will almost cast you as a sinner.....remember they are on this site too.

For anyone reading this, don't suffer alone, irrespective of where you are in the UK, I'm more than happy to chat when possible about how you feel and any struggles, if it means that somewhere along the line, you've aired, very very discretely, how you're dealing with this side of life.

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By *regABCMan
6 weeks ago

blackhall

Great advice

I'm available too for you to talk if it will help you

Don't join the mental health queue

Talk to an understanding guy

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By *bbillMan
6 weeks ago

Aberdeen

Glad to see there's more than just me like this . Life's too short dont feel bad and enjoy as much gay sex as you can. Its the most beautiful thing in the world

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By *hil96Man
6 weeks ago

Portsmouth

All of the above. But only want sex with men now.

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By *amsoonMan
6 weeks ago

stornoway

Yes my wife knew from the beginning, but she is bi herself. We've met many men over the years, many guilt ridden married men. If it is early days in your marriage we always advise coming out. A life of lying is not healthy mentally.

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By *regABCMan
6 weeks ago

blackhall

Once a man tries guy sex it's bit him and he's in for life

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By *urious2024Man
6 weeks ago

pembs

Feel my myself being drawn in more and more

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By *i60subMan
6 weeks ago

Northampton

Lots of us I think in same boat

For me I’m bottom and sub - it’s recognising there’s a kind of war going on within. On one side I’m a happily married man - occasionally fuck wife but rare - but there’s another me - one that’s gay - sub - who loves to be fucked

Somehow I keep the two separate and at times let the gay one out - but then put it back

Guilt - yes - but I have needs to - carnal lusts - and they need satisfying- I just try to be like a switch and go from one to the other - accept it is what it is - and never the both will meet ? That’s me

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By *V ShazTV/TS
6 weeks ago

Haydock

Your wife will have her secret pleasures.

You can have yours and never the twain shall meet.

I like tea and sometimes I like coffee.

At work it's a work life balance.

At home it's gay life balance.

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By *Aguy2022Man
6 weeks ago

Littlehampton

The guilt got to me at first, the sneaking around, the constant lies to my wife and kids of where I was going or had been. Sex with the wife was non existent ( her choice) and I respected that boundary, but there comes a time when masturbation only helps so far, hence the meeting with fellow struggles.

Long story short, told the wife, guilt lifted and I am free to carry-on with her blessing.

Admission isn't for everyone but if the guilt is that bad, either stop, unburden your soul or learn to live with the guilt, but is it really guilt if it is naturally built within your soul.

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By *uckmeslow555Man
6 weeks ago

oakham

Nope never feel guilty

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By *owestoftBiCdMan
6 weeks ago

Lowestoft

My missus is aware and I never meet without letting her know. She is fully supportive of my crossdressing and has brought me lingerie. I would never cheat on her and we have both been completely honest with each other about our sexualities and what we enjoy since we first met. So no guilt

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By *lindfold subMan
6 weeks ago

Reading

"This almost exactly describes my life except the barren period of sex with my wife is far, far longer, her choice

I use to feel guilt but no longer. "

Same here… it’s been years since me and my mrs have had sex…

I know that doesn’t make it ok but…

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By *isteviexMan
6 weeks ago

crieff

It's part of life's journey or can be curiosity then took it further.

Rarely meet but love chatting

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By *iketotry2Man
6 weeks ago

Calne

The guilt does pass over time knowing we are just scratching an itch. Anon meets with a guy is like popping to the gym for a workout. I’m not on here as sex with the missus is no existent because of menopause I was here before I met her

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By *sfguyMan
6 weeks ago

stockton

It's a big club and sounds like we are all in it.

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By *regABCMan
6 weeks ago

blackhall

Most guys on here are partnered ir married

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

Love my wifes but we only have sexy 4 or 5 times a year and always very vanilla. I need kink and cock and not prepared to go through life without it

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By *oroBi69Man
6 weeks ago

north yorks

It’s a secret lots of us share.

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By *V ShazTV/TS
6 weeks ago

Haydock

A common theme begins once over 50.... sexless marriage

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By *enardeMan
6 weeks ago

Barnsley

You have nothing to be guilty for

Your sexuality is what it is

If you need cock take cock

Simple

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By *ove2wankMan
6 weeks ago

Field of Dreams, Worcs

Great thread, thanks for posting.

A lot of us are in the same boat and the guilt definitely gets to me but sex with the wife is way less regular than it used to be and like someone else said, masturbation only gets you so far. It's tough but it helps to know we're not alone in this.

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By *arriedbiMan
6 weeks ago

Aldershot

Married sexless but now secretly gay X gone past the guilt it's just natural to give my body to men X but that is just me tho

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By *amagedgoodsMan
6 weeks ago

Halstead/ Karsiyaka N. Cyprus

Dont feel guilty, women sadly change as they age and many drcide sex is not required. Great for them maybe but no thought given to the partner that still craves it. Mine was Bi and up until 70 was a nympho for big cocks and wet pussy. Then cancer fucked her up, now I get nothing, apart from lots of cock and occassional pussy. Do I feel guilt not at all, I have needs which she doesnt care about.

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By *rantpaul99Man
6 weeks ago

swindon

I know exactly how you feel.. I could have written it any better..

So love my wife but the desire to play with a guy and experience male male please is almost overwhelming.

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By *ayhubbyMan
6 weeks ago

liverpool

Yes married and sexless been pussy free for years .. always bi bit now fully gay wouldn’t be able to satisfy a pussy

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By *marylisMan
6 weeks ago

SHEFFIELD

In the same boat myself.

Haven't been inside my wife for 8 years and she doesn't let me touch her either. She would occasionally give me a BJ but it was so half hearted and had to be at an appointed time that I lost interest.

We now sleep separate so yes I can wank whenever I need but I miss the intimacy of close naked body contact and kissing and I have always been very much into using my mouth to give pleasure, love the taste of pussy, cock and ass so I started to seek out guys through this site. The thrill of a meet and the joy of making someone orgasm is a real buzz but then the guilt and the worry about possible sti sets in and I start to regret it.

Would I be better off single?

Maybe, but I do love my wifes companionship, and would no doubt dearly miss her.

It's a dilemma that I am struggling with a lot lately.

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

"Don’t mix up sex and love they are 2 completely different things "

Well said, as long as the one you love doesn't find out.

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By *ikepetersMan
6 weeks ago

yeovil

So similar to how I feel but have not really done a lot about it yet

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By *traight.lad45Man
6 weeks ago

Ebbw Vale

Its part of the fun

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By *inkbethTV/TS
6 weeks ago

Derby

I don’t think there’s a need to feel guilty when it’s not about love, it’s just recreation, a stress release, we all wank on the quiet, this is just a little bit kinkier.

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By *orruptedandlies1Man
6 weeks ago

leeds

It's sex not commitment

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By *enardeMan
6 weeks ago

Barnsley

"In the same boat myself.

Would I be better off single?

Maybe, but I do love my wifes companionship, and would no doubt dearly miss her.

It's a dilemma that I am struggling with a lot lately."

She would take half of everything including pension mate

Carry on low down

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By *lindfold subMan
6 weeks ago

Reading

"In the same boat myself.

Would I be better off single?

Maybe, but I do love my wifes companionship, and would no doubt dearly miss her.

It's a dilemma that I am struggling with a lot lately."

I feel like this sometimes. Would I be better off single.

But then, I’d be screwed financially as I’d probably have to move back to Stoke making my job a lot harder as I employ a good team of guys in the south to work with me.

I kinda decided that yes, I do still love my mrs dearly and whilst we haven’t had sex together for years now, our relationship is based on more than just sex.

We’re soul mates and best friends. We tell each other we love each other every day and rarely argue.

I don’t actively chase females as I don’t think I’m that bothered about meeting them now - unless it was an offer I couldn’t refuse of course - but I’ve developed a love for sucking cock and swallowing cum…

I guess it’s just my way of getting some form of release and I don’t feel guilt for doing it these days.

I keep a secret from her because I know it would destroy her but I also have my own life to live with my own needs too…

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By *ndrewfunMan
5 weeks ago

London

Married and mistress but still fuck guys. Pm for pics

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By *lindfold subMan
5 weeks ago

Reading

"Married and mistress but still fuck guys. Pm for pics "

😍😜 nice

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By *leethorpebiMan
5 weeks ago

Waltham

"In the same boat myself.

Would I be better off single?

Maybe, but I do love my wifes companionship, and would no doubt dearly miss her.

It's a dilemma that I am struggling with a lot lately."
I am in the same position with the missus and used to have l them thoughts and concerns but now I just go out and enjoy have sex with guys that also in the same position. Sucking cock is so enjoyable now

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By *ll foxMan
5 weeks ago

WORKSOP

I’m the same!

Kids gone! Sex life with the wife is occasional , good to but just not enough!

That’s why I meet !

Love here to bits and I do feel guilty!

However I just crave for more

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By *onamebiguy99Man
5 weeks ago

Buxton

Nice to know im not the only one but ive not met anyone for over 2 years because of it. I can never go through with it despite really wanting too and that makes me feel guilty. My kids are a bit younger and im probably getting sex once a month, when im having sex i get hard by thinking about guys . I feel when kids are older and i have more time im likly to go through with a meet. It worrys me a lot but also excites me too .

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By *urious2024Man
5 weeks ago

pembs

Same boat here close to the next step

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By *ylonplesureTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Stone (staffs)

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By *ikey1976Man
5 weeks ago

Southampton

This resonates with me. I feel very similar and conflicted.

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By *ockfun1970Man
5 weeks ago

North west

Use to be, but she makes no effort when it comes to sex.

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By *4iget2oldMan
5 weeks ago

Inverness

Ditto exactly the same sex at home non existent very prudish wife. Guilt gets the better off me so hide my profile and try and forget about it but when it bites it bites hard all I think about is cock.

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By *nmykneesagainMan
5 weeks ago

salford

We dont have sex anymore, i know she cheats so i dont feel guilty wen i suck cock

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By *ecky34TV/TS
5 weeks ago

navan

This tread sounds familiar to me ,guilt can be bad and i know it's my fault but life is short

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By *ub guy 68Man
5 weeks ago

Keith

Zero guilt here.

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By *mizhereMan
5 weeks ago

Thame and Surrounds

It's interesting how many guys get the post cum guilt in meeting and rush off

I've always enjoyed male sex being bi and have no guilt for enjoying

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By *ike 1777Man
5 weeks ago

Sheffield

This post could have been written by me ,

Hardly any sex at home for the last five years or so , it is soul destroying

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By *ony 529Man
5 weeks ago

Coventry

Wow wow I didn’t realize there was a lot of guys who feel the same way as I do married to beautiful wives and yet they crave the taboo so to speak

this is a very interesting post

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By *ecky34TV/TS
5 weeks ago

navan

Cock is so different but addictive

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By *PH1956Man
5 weeks ago

Colchester

Before May of this year I was quite active on this site. Then I found another woman who enjoys sex as much as I do. In a guilty panic I then closed my account, lost my verifications, videos and photos. But just about 5 weeks ago I rejoined, can't resist another guys cock. But I can't get the time away for a meet. So for me it's not only guilt but frustration!

Being bisexual I enjoy sex with both genders equally.

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By *lindfold subMan
5 weeks ago

Reading

"Before May of this year I was quite active on this site. Then I found another woman who enjoys sex as much as I do. In a guilty panic I then closed my account, lost my verifications, videos and photos. But just about 5 weeks ago I rejoined, can't resist another guys cock. But I can't get the time away for a meet. So for me it's not only guilt but frustration!

Being bisexual I enjoy sex with both genders equally. "

Would you not consider telling her you’re bi or is that a step too far?

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By *PH1956Man
5 weeks ago

Colchester

Being bisexual I enjoy sex with both genders equally.

Would you not consider telling her you’re bi or is that a step too far?"

She knows a bit of my chequered past and she says it doesn't bother her. But I fear telling her now could destroy our relationship. Which I don't want! She has an appetite for sex that matches mine. But...

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By *lindfold subMan
5 weeks ago

Reading

Being bisexual I enjoy sex with both genders equally.

Would you not consider telling her you’re bi or is that a step too far?

Yeah… I get it…

I feel your pain x

Been there. Read the book etc

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By *avidbi9Man
5 weeks ago

kilwinning

Resonates with me

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By *amanthapurpleTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Telford

So lucky I was so open with the mrs as got together

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By *ananabrumMan
5 weeks ago

castle bromwich

This is why i like sauna meets, a lot of married guys like to play and there's no chance of drama if their wife finds out.

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