Strap in it’s a long one… Okay so I’m going to be vulnerable here and expose myself and I’ll preface this by saying I’m in no way a virgin I’ve had sex I was with my ex partner for 3.5 years and lived together I just haven’t had a lot of it.
Having said that I haven’t had a lot of sex…. I’m 37 and I’ve never tried any kinks I don’t really have any that jump out at me that I do want to try but I’ve just never had the opportunity for that. All the guys I’ve been with including ex partners have only really ever wanted vanilla sex which I’m not opposed to I just think maybe we could have tried something idk.
I have been single 6 years…. Haven’t actually had intercourse sex in that time just sucked a few dicks,
I’m not really a prude and I get horny but I guess I don’t really miss it.
I have another issue which is that I take citalopram for anxiety and 2 of the biggest side effects I get are excessive sweating and erectile disfunction both of which really not only piss me off but really don’t help with the anxiety and actually I feel sometimes make it worse than it actually is!
I spoke to a gp a few years ago (when I was with my last ex) and they were reluctant to try a new medication as I’ve been on these for a while and now it’s been even longer (over 14 years now)
I have tried medication for the ED and it helps when I masturbate I get super hard and stay hard for the whole time but I have to take the lower dose daily rather than the one you take as and when you need it! But when it comes to actually being with someone it doesn’t seem to work and I can’t stay hard! I also think that I have an unhealthy relationship with porn I use it to get off daily but it seems to be the only thing that does get me off anymore!
I am also acutely aware I’m overweight and this just adds to the problem in a big way but I do see on here and elsewhere other big guys getting to have sex and enjoying it etc which also gets me down. I also have a taste in men that is quite shallow but they’re not into me.
Do I need therapy? Yes have I sought it before? Also yes! I was referred too silver cloud which is a self lead online course which I did not get on with and the one therapist I did get to sit in front of and actually talk just made me feel awkward and uncomfortable so I think that put me off!
Anyway I think I’ve rambled and maybe I just needed to get this out somewhere but if you did read it thank you! No idea what to do about it? Kind advice welcome
