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"Hi guys,,some advice please. I was chatting to a guy,,we planned on meeting in my place as I can accommodate. I explained to him where I lived,,housing estate and nearby landmark.Asked him to message me when he got here as he was 2 miles away. He asked for eircode straight out,I said no,I wud give it up him when he was at estate,as I wanted to know he was genuine. I don't give out my eircode unless they show willingness to get near me,they might not show up,or go offline then I cud get a knock on door when I don't want one. He said give to him as I was going to have to give it when he was nearer,,caller me a timewaster. I said to him he has an attitude,,jog on as I have reviews stating otherwise,he has no reviews as of yet so thought he was been a bit cheeky,he proceeds to block me. I generally don't meet unverified guys,,and have the same protocol when meeting people in my place,I like my discretion like everyone else. So,,did I handle this wrong ,,how do u guys go about meeting in ur own place when meeting someone new,,what safeguards do u use.. " I think you did right. I'm my opinion, you were taking precautions given he had no verifications etc. Set your rules, and stick to them for your safety. | |||
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"Hi guys,,some advice please. I was chatting to a guy,,we planned on meeting in my place as I can accommodate. I explained to him where I lived,,housing estate and nearby landmark.Asked him to message me when he got here as he was 2 miles away. He asked for eircode straight out,I said no,I wud give it up him when he was at estate,as I wanted to know he was genuine. I don't give out my eircode unless they show willingness to get near me,they might not show up,or go offline then I cud get a knock on door when I don't want one. He said give to him as I was going to have to give it when he was nearer,,caller me a timewaster. I said to him he has an attitude,,jog on as I have reviews stating otherwise,he has no reviews as of yet so thought he was been a bit cheeky,he proceeds to block me. I generally don't meet unverified guys,,and have the same protocol when meeting people in my place,I like my discretion like everyone else. So,,did I handle this wrong ,,how do u guys go about meeting in ur own place when meeting someone new,,what safeguards do u use.. I think you did right. I'm my opinion, you were taking precautions given he had no verifications etc. Set your rules, and stick to them for your safety." Ty,,If someone can't accept some basic rules it's a sure sign,,, | |||
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"I'm in Wales. I'm assuming eircode is your An Post post code equivalent. I'm happy to share my postcode as it identifies 50 homes. I always say give you my door No when I know you're near! Sorts the wheat from the chaff. " Yes,,it's the equivalent,,except the eircode is to my front door. So like u,,I give them a place to arrive to near me,,then I give my address to out time wasters. | |||
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"You done right " Ty,, | |||
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"You did exactly the right thing as you say you could have got a very unexpected knock on your door when it wasn't convenient, if men can't accept that the yes jog on would be my answer also " Ty,,,that's my thinking. If they are far away and I give address,,they might go for a coffee,,waste an hour or two then show up,knock on door. My plans cud have changed in that time,,family or friends call over and this guy arrives looking for some fun. It's beyond me how he didn't understand this,,,shows arrogance,,, | |||
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"You did exactly the right thing as you say you could have got a very unexpected knock on your door when it wasn't convenient, if men can't accept that the yes jog on would be my answer also Ty,,,that's my thinking. If they are far away and I give address,,they might go for a coffee,,waste an hour or two then show up,knock on door. My plans cud have changed in that time,,family or friends call over and this guy arrives looking for some fun. It's beyond me how he didn't understand this,,,shows arrogance,,," You were dead right stuck to principles. His loss looking thru your pics!! | |||
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"You did exactly the right thing as you say you could have got a very unexpected knock on your door when it wasn't convenient, if men can't accept that the yes jog on would be my answer also Ty,,,that's my thinking. If they are far away and I give address,,they might go for a coffee,,waste an hour or two then show up,knock on door. My plans cud have changed in that time,,family or friends call over and this guy arrives looking for some fun. It's beyond me how he didn't understand this,,,shows arrogance,,, You were dead right stuck to principles. His loss looking thru your pics!! " Defo,,,can't he dealing with attitude,,most of us are here for some fun,,and ty😁 | |||
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"Ive had more issues with people not giving full addresses than anything else. You travel to them then ghosted. Wont travel without it now as 90% of people that dont give it out are timewasters." I am not asking anyone travel anywhere that's out of the way. Guy was in town,,,asked him to drive 2 km to my estate,,when he got there I wud give eircode. He wouldn't do that and resulted to name calling. Each to their own,,but if u don't like or respect someones preferences,just move on and say all the best,,don't act like a child which is what this guy did. | |||
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"Ive had more issues with people not giving full addresses than anything else. You travel to them then ghosted. Wont travel without it now as 90% of people that dont give it out are timewasters. I am not asking anyone travel anywhere that's out of the way. Guy was in town,,,asked him to drive 2 km to my estate,,when he got there I wud give eircode. He wouldn't do that and resulted to name calling. Each to their own,,but if u don't like or respect someones preferences,just move on and say all the best,,don't act like a child which is what this guy did." Absolutely nothing wrong with what you did Sense of entitlement off the scale as ever, who is doing who a favour here | |||
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"I would always meet them for a coffee somewhere first so you get too know the person before inviting them back to my place " I regularly do the same, or arrange to meet somewhere discreet for a quick hello, then they can follow back to my place. | |||
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"I would always meet them for a coffee somewhere first so you get too know the person before inviting them back to my place I regularly do the same, or arrange to meet somewhere discreet for a quick hello, then they can follow back to my place." it’s the best and safest way in my book | |||
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"I'm in Wales. I'm assuming eircode is your An Post post code equivalent. I'm happy to share my postcode as it identifies 50 homes. I always say give you my door No when I know you're near! Sorts the wheat from the chaff. " Unlike the UK, inIreland every residence has a unique post code/eircode so once you share it they know your exact location. | |||
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"Hi guys,,some advice please. I was chatting to a guy,,we planned on meeting in my place as I can accommodate. I explained to him where I lived,,housing estate and nearby landmark.Asked him to message me when he got here as he was 2 miles away. He asked for eircode straight out,I said no,I wud give it up him when he was at estate,as I wanted to know he was genuine. I don't give out my eircode unless they show willingness to get near me,they might not show up,or go offline then I cud get a knock on door when I don't want one. He said give to him as I was going to have to give it when he was nearer,,caller me a timewaster. I said to him he has an attitude,,jog on as I have reviews stating otherwise,he has no reviews as of yet so thought he was been a bit cheeky,he proceeds to block me. I generally don't meet unverified guys,,and have the same protocol when meeting people in my place,I like my discretion like everyone else. So,,did I handle this wrong ,,how do u guys go about meeting in ur own place when meeting someone new,,what safeguards do u use.. " If he was unverified then 100% don't give out address. If you're hosting it should only with someone with verification so you know they're genuine | |||
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"Hi guys,,some advice please. I was chatting to a guy,,we planned on meeting in my place as I can accommodate. I explained to him where I lived,,housing estate and nearby landmark.Asked him to message me when he got here as he was 2 miles away. He asked for eircode straight out,I said no,I wud give it up him when he was at estate,as I wanted to know he was genuine. I don't give out my eircode unless they show willingness to get near me,they might not show up,or go offline then I cud get a knock on door when I don't want one. He said give to him as I was going to have to give it when he was nearer,,caller me a timewaster. I said to him he has an attitude,,jog on as I have reviews stating otherwise,he has no reviews as of yet so thought he was been a bit cheeky,he proceeds to block me. I generally don't meet unverified guys,,and have the same protocol when meeting people in my place,I like my discretion like everyone else. So,,did I handle this wrong ,,how do u guys go about meeting in ur own place when meeting someone new,,what safeguards do u use.. " I think you are probably being a bit paranoid but, that's irrelevant because all that matters is you do things that you're comfortable with. Fuck everyone else tbh. Like you said , he wasn't verified and you were. And you're the one accommodating so, I think it's reasonable that you dictate a few rules. If he was coming from very far away, I would understand why he would be a bit more demanding about the eircode. Other precautions I take: When I meet at their place - I generally text the address to a close friend incase I go missing or something lol. I also refuse to just walk in when they say "the door is open". I make them answer the door or wave through the window. When I accommodate - I close all the doors to rooms I'm not using and make sure there's no personal stuff lying around -keys, wallets. Mostly because I have a housemate and I would feel terrible if something they own went missing. Nothing like that has ever happened by the way. You mentioned a landmark - sometimes, if it's late at night or very early on a Sunday morning I'll arrange to meet them a few doors down from my house on the corner. If they're high or d*unk, then I tell them to go away.... Finally, asking them to swop numbers generally gets rid of the time wasters. You can block their number afterwards. Just trust your gut. The vast majority of the time, I don't use or feel the need for any of those precautions. Just communicate clearly how you want to do things and they can decide if they still want to meet or not. | |||
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"best way to meet them is DO NOT ACCOM, as I learnt the hard way, a guy didnt turn up until the following day, said he was passing, I had family in my house, sone explaining to do." Thats certainly tough going and very disrespectful from that guy. Whilst we are all here for the same thing, its sad that some dont appreciate that being invited into someone elses home is an honour. Something that, irrespective of whether a top or bottom, deserves credit and respect. There has to be consideration for safety and discretion on both parts. Had one guy want me to meet inba car park a few miles from his house, fully dressed and then be taken to his house without being provided with any address. I decided in the end not to go. As others have said, you have to go with your gut... but also think of safety | |||
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"Hi guys,,some advice please. I was chatting to a guy,,we planned on meeting in my place as I can accommodate. I explained to him where I lived,,housing estate and nearby landmark.Asked him to message me when he got here as he was 2 miles away. He asked for eircode straight out,I said no,I wud give it up him when he was at estate,as I wanted to know he was genuine. I don't give out my eircode unless they show willingness to get near me,they might not show up,or go offline then I cud get a knock on door when I don't want one. He said give to him as I was going to have to give it when he was nearer,,caller me a timewaster. I said to him he has an attitude,,jog on as I have reviews stating otherwise,he has no reviews as of yet so thought he was been a bit cheeky,he proceeds to block me. I generally don't meet unverified guys,,and have the same protocol when meeting people in my place,I like my discretion like everyone else. So,,did I handle this wrong ,,how do u guys go about meeting in ur own place when meeting someone new,,what safeguards do u use.. I think you are probably being a bit paranoid but, that's irrelevant because all that matters is you do things that you're comfortable with. Fuck everyone else tbh. Like you said , he wasn't verified and you were. And you're the one accommodating so, I think it's reasonable that you dictate a few rules. If he was coming from very far away, I would understand why he would be a bit more demanding about the eircode. Other precautions I take: When I meet at their place - I generally text the address to a close friend incase I go missing or something lol. I also refuse to just walk in when they say "the door is open". I make them answer the door or wave through the window. When I accommodate - I close all the doors to rooms I'm not using and make sure there's no personal stuff lying around -keys, wallets. Mostly because I have a housemate and I would feel terrible if something they own went missing. Nothing like that has ever happened by the way. You mentioned a landmark - sometimes, if it's late at night or very early on a Sunday morning I'll arrange to meet them a few doors down from my house on the corner. If they're high or d*unk, then I tell them to go away.... Finally, asking them to swop numbers generally gets rid of the time wasters. You can block their number afterwards. Just trust your gut. The vast majority of the time, I don't use or feel the need for any of those precautions. Just communicate clearly how you want to do things and they can decide if they still want to meet or not. " Hi,ty very much for reply. I have a lot of ur precautions,,and put them to good use. Most meets in house do go well,,and guys I have met have been bang on,,so my filter mechanisms do work. I did convey to this guy during our chats that he was to get close to me,,then he would get address. But on day of meet he either ignored of forgot those messages. | |||
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"Hi guys,,some advice please. I was chatting to a guy,,we planned on meeting in my place as I can accommodate. I explained to him where I lived,,housing estate and nearby landmark.Asked him to message me when he got here as he was 2 miles away. He asked for eircode straight out,I said no,I wud give it up him when he was at estate,as I wanted to know he was genuine. I don't give out my eircode unless they show willingness to get near me,they might not show up,or go offline then I cud get a knock on door when I don't want one. He said give to him as I was going to have to give it when he was nearer,,caller me a timewaster. I said to him he has an attitude,,jog on as I have reviews stating otherwise,he has no reviews as of yet so thought he was been a bit cheeky,he proceeds to block me. I generally don't meet unverified guys,,and have the same protocol when meeting people in my place,I like my discretion like everyone else. So,,did I handle this wrong ,,how do u guys go about meeting in ur own place when meeting someone new,,what safeguards do u use.. If he was unverified then 100% don't give out address. If you're hosting it should only with someone with verification so you know they're genuine " Absolutely agree with you,just sometimes in a town meets can be hard to get and the urge sets in,but not enough to break ones rules. | |||
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