FabGuys.com forum: A case study in internalised homophobia in Westmeath.

By *SAOF OP Man
2 weeks ago

Work/Play in London, live in Kent

Some readers may remember a late night snippet from 2fm back in the early 90’s where Emilia Golightly spoke of how something was a lot like life. I particularly remember her telling listeners about Moate; how there was one Main Street in the town and the further you drove, the mainer it got. This morning I discover how far along the street one correspondent lived.

I am proudly sexual and I am sex-positive. I appreciate some have difficult with this. I have never been more surprised by contributions here than when they are sex-shaming. But that is those contributors’ issue and not mine.

In response to a status update where I extolled the virtues of PrEP/DoxyPEP and how I celebrated my recent screening results, a Moate resident took it upon himself to message me the following:-

“I don't think that's much of an impressive boasting comment.... being a risky whore!”

I replied inviting him to do being him; I’ll continue to do being me.

He may think chemoprotected sex is risky; he should be aware that this shows him uneducated about risk management in gay sex.

He may feel that someone who has sex a lot or with lots of guys is a whore. We should put aside for a moment that sex work is perfectly acceptable for those who choose to work in that industry or who use its services - neither he nor I are qualified to judge the workers or their clients. But perhaps he may not know that recreational sex between consenting men is not whorish.

He may believe that my behaviours are risky; all sex has risks but he might benefit from understanding the scientific evidence that shows that the risk of contracting an STI reduces in proportion with how frequently your partners has testing.

He may think that himself is in a position to judge other men for their sexual desires, preferences and actions. The only person he can justifiably judge is himself.

I encouraged him to search his soul and see if his behaviour was self importance, was ignorance, was jealousy, was internalised homophobia, or was is a combination of some or all.

I shall leave him to judge himself - perhaps I am being somewhat tongue-in-cheek in my saying I shall leave the judgement to him though I do judge that a block will be a well used site function shortly. I also will encourage all users of FabGuys to remember that this site prides itself on not judging others for their sexual preferences.