Right, let’s get this out the way: if you think my inbox is your personal dumping ground for attention-seeking nonsense, congrats — you’ve already failed the vibe check.
Yes, I’ve got some dick/hole pics. No, that’s not a “send yours” invitation. Consent isn’t just sexy, it’s the bare minimum — and if that shocks you, log off and go touch some grass.
Half my life is pretending I know what I’m doing at the gym, the other half is gaming, inhaling snacks, and questioning my decisions in real time. Balance.
If I don’t reply, assume it’s a “no.” Not a mystery. Not an invitation to send a follow-up essay. Take the L and move on like an adult.
I’ve got a partner. He comes first. Don’t ask weird questions or pitch threesomes. It won’t happen.
Body hair? Present and thriving. Not saying I’ve got body hair like a gorilla, but what I’ve got stays unshaved (beard excluded). If you prefer smooth, go find a mannequin.
I like people who can banter, don’t flinch at sarcasm, and understand boundaries. If you’re easily offended, fragile, or think “respect” is optional, we’re not compatible.
Turn-offs: arrogance; guys who say “I’m a nice guy” right before proving they aren’t; and people who copy-paste that ridiculous “this platform is a publicly traded entity, copyright infringement blah blah blah” nonsense on their profiles.
Message me if you can actually form a sentence, take a joke, and survive a bit of verbal sparring. Worst case, we swap memes. Best case, you become one.
