UPDATE 5th July 2024
To give you some context as to why many of you haven't heard from me...
I signed contracts for buying a pub 8 weeks ago and opened up a brand new LGBT bar and cafe 3 weeks ago.
It's been a 24/7 workload that has been relentless and has taken my full attention and dedication. I've not had a moment to think about anything else.
I am now a pub landlady who works 7 days a week and as such, has very limited personal free time.
Therefore, if a guy wants to get to know me, and have naughty play, he would have to be comfortable with visiting my pub and being happy with my attention between the constant demands that has become my lifestyle.
I have been accused of ignoring, or not instantly replying to guys who message me. Please do not be offended and understand that my life is hectic and my first priority is my Chelmsford gay bar. It’s on par with having a baby and how a mother would have 100% dedication to nursing her new born bundle of joy.
I am full of pride and joy for my new bar. It’s proving to be a popular venue for the community of Chelmsford.
Please support me if you live nearby. I am very discrete and would never mention anything which would cause you concern for your privacy or need for discretion.
Best you are aware of these facts before you ask to see me.
Kisses
Rose xx
WHERE DO I FIND TINA?
To avoid confusion, I have severe ADHD which means I am hopeless with organisation. Therefore, it’s pointless trying to arrange a meet with me in the future. If I’m online, it’s fair to assume I’m looking to meet straight away. Many guys will say they cannot do that, that they must arrange in advance due to work and family commitments. That’s fair enough, but don’t contact me. It’s not worth your effort in writing a message to me.
______________________________________
Hello you fabulous guys.
Instead of writing my bio, I’m going to write as if I’m the local council website, or a utility providers handy fact sheet hand out.
So here goes:
— BOLD PRINT = MESSAGES TO ME. —
——- normal print = my replies. ————
FAQ
WHAT AM I IN TO?
That depends on who I’m with. What I like with one guy, might not feel the same with another. But the basics are that I’m bottom.
CAN YOU PLAY WITH MY COCK?
Yes, but don’t get frustrated if it doesn’t get hard. However, if you achieve the remarkable, don’t be surprised if it doesn’t last long. Real transgenders are on HRT which severely reduces erection function.
WHAT SATISFIES ME?
Put simply, prostate massage and the power of suggestion. If a guy is attentive and wants to explore my body to work out how I tick (she waits for the laughter to subside) yeah I know, what guy does that right? I’ll give up trying to explain the impossible.
WILL I BE DRESSED?
Dressed? I tend not to walk around naked. Especially during the colder months. Bbrrrr. Oh, you mean as in Dressing DRAG (DRessed as A Girl) I’ve despaired at this question for so long that I’ve given up being concerned by it. I am not a cross dresser. I am transgender. The term trans, or Tgirl is loosely used and seems to cover anything from the HPW’s (hairy panty wearers) to the fully transitioned TranSexuals (those who have had all the major surgeries)
I am not quite the transsexual as I have not had bottom surgery. However, I live a full life as a female. Therefore asking me if I’m dressed is an insult.
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING SEXY?
Cotton with lace exterior skirt, satin blouse. Wooly Cardigan. Hold ups & leather/suede knee high boots. Matching black knickers + Bra (push up bra for greater effect) permanently smooth body, moisturised, impeccably clean inside & out. Carefully applied lipstick for sucking cock. Nail bar finish manicured/pedicured nails. Victoria secret bomshell perfume. Handbag full of condoms & lube. To finish this all off, I have come to bed eyes and a naughty smile that would make your knees go weak.
CAN YOU PLAN A MEET WITH ME DAYS/WEEKS/MONTHS AHEAD?
No. I don’t plan meets for a specified day in the future. It always feels like making a hospital appointment, or booking my car in for a service. It’s practical and has no feeling. How on earth do I know if I’m going to feel horning then? How do I know that life’s quirky way of making sure best laid plans are disrupted won’t happen? There’s so many variables that I won’t entertain anything over 24hrs notice. Not worth it, cannot be bothered, won’t agree. Plus, I like spontaneity because I’ll feel horny when I’m looking!
CAN I DRIVE 45 MINUTES TO YOU. PICK YOU UP, TAKE YOU BACK TO MINE SO YOU CAN FUCK MY ARSE. THEN DRIVE YOU BACK HOME, THEN DRIVE MYSELF BACK TO MY HOME AGAIN?
Errr, no. The fact that some guys have actually asked why I’ve said NO is astonishing.
IS IT OKAY IF YOUR MUM or DAD IS INVOLVED?
This question has cropped up a few times over the years. Simple answer: NO. Detailed answer: No, and I suggest you seek counselling for separation disorder.
CAN YOU BE MY S_L_A_V_E?
This was abolished and made illegal centuries ago in Britain, and I’m not going to prison for it. So please refer to the remarks above and seek counselling forthwith.
CAN YOU BE MY HUMAN TOILET?
No. See above.
WILL I BE YOUR MUMMY?
No. I had enough of being a parent to snotty nosed selfish brats for two decades. I’m damned if I’m going to get any sexual kicks by having an adult man pretend to by my child during what’s supposed to be my sexual satisfaction as well. Can’t think of many thing less appealing.
CAN I DOMINATE AND DEGRADE YOU?
Google dominatrix work and find out the fees. Once armed with that knowledge, come back to me and we’ll negotiate.
CAN YOU PISS INTO MY ARSE?
I’d like to see a guy try. Must be a funny thing to witness. If he managed it though; I’d fart his liquids over him and fall about laughing at his shock and disgust.
CAN YOU OPEN UP A CONVERSATION BY CALLING ME A SLUT?
It won’t get you far but you can try it if it makes you feel dominant and like an alpha male. There’s certain derogatory things that can be said to me during those moments of passion that actually enhance my enjoyment. However. Saying these things as an opening line will probably result in you being blocked.
WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME?
I am not ignoring you, it just happens to be a fact that I’ve got a life. GROW UP!
DO I LIKE YOUNGER GUYS?
I’m 57 and to be honest, a guy up to twenty years younger is fine by me. They tend to be fitter (not always though) and have better skin, teeth etc. I’m young at heart, so younger people are more on my wave length. With that said, there is zero appeal when it comes to anyone younger than 30. Call me weird if you like, but meeting someone younger than my own children is a barrier I find impossible to budge. And saying: age is just a number! Is only said by young and horny guys who have a granny fetish. Not for me sorry.
WHAT WILL WE DO?
Play scrabble or try a complicated jigsaw puzzle of course! Bloody hell, do you need a diagram or secondary school sexual education? Not worth answering.
SO IT IS YOUR FIRST TIME DOING SOMETHING LIKE THIS? WILL I BE GENTLE WITH YOU?
I won’t meet you. Reason being, there’s an 80% chance you won’t go through with it because your weak little trembling knees won’t carry yourself to my door.
CAN I HELP YOU DRESS?
No. This topic is serious to me. It’s not a fetish or a sexual kick. I have gender dysphoria and have endured decades of anxiety and fear for who I am and how society would treat me. So I’m afraid I’m not going to play dressing up as if it’s some kind of fun game. No no no.
HAVE I GOT CONDOMS, LUBE, WASHING FACILITIES, A NICE HOME TO ACCOMMODATE YOU, PARKING SPACE, THE PERFECT TIME SUITABLE TO YOU, A WILLING MOUTH THAT CAN SUCK COCK FOR HOURS WITHOUT GETTING LOCK-JAW, A SELECTION OF ALCOHOL FOR YOUR CHOICE, A FRONT DOOR THAT SPRINGS OPEN FOR YOU TO BOLT OUT OF AS SOON AS YOU HAVE CUM?
If I was a prostitute, I’d have a website listing most of these facilities with a premium price tag. Shall I say no more?
WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR?
My car keys! Damned things have a way of alluding me at the wrong possible moments. Damn them.
IS IT OKAY IF I JUST GIVE YOU A BLOW JOB?
Is it okay if I just kick you in the nuts?
IS IT OKAY IF WE GET STRAIGHT DOWN TO IT BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIKE TALKING?
Hell no, I need some flirtatious chat and anticipation. I need to know what your personality is like before we start. I’ve turned guys down within the first ten minutes because their personality stinks. So NO.
CAN WE JUST MUTUALLY WANK EACH OTHER OFF?
No. I’m not 15 years old and neither are you. If I invite a guy round, he’d better well give me a hard fast pounding or I’ll squeeze his nuts until he can sing like Kate Bush.
CAN YOU FUCK ME BAREBACK. YOU’RE CLEAN YOU PROMISE!
Yes of course. But don’t come back to me waving your swollen appendage, remonstrating with me about how I’ve given you the clap. It was you who didn’t care at the time. It was you who thought you were so clever getting me to agree to it. Consequences chaps. Consequences.
NOTE:
I’ve used an ironic scenario for comedic purposes. There’s no truth in the above statement.
New additions:
U LOOKING TO BE FED BY ME TODAY?
You’re either ‘meals on wheels’ (does that still exist?) or you’re a feeder and you’ll tkeep me locked up and fed until I’m morbidly obese and reliant on you (cue spooky music) Or, you actually believe you’ve got a cock that I cannot wait to suck on!
All of the above scenarios are no where near to becoming real.
COCK PIC WITH ‘Hi’ AS AN INTRODUCTION.
Either you’re very proud of what nature has given you, or you’re deluded (a photo of a shrunken chipolata is not appealing guys!) with that said, remember this…
All I’ll be thinking is you’re a cock!
I WANNA FUCK YOU IN A WEDDING DRESS!
You’d better be a good wrestler. I’ll scratch, bite, and kick you while you’re forcing sissy clothes on me. Even if you succeed, I’ll be ripping it to shreds like satans love child.
I ONLY MEET THOSE WHO HAVE A COMPATIBILITY UNDER THE CHINESE HOROSCOPE GUIDELINES. I AM YEAR OF THE PIG!
In my opinion, you are determining a meet based on something that is drastically going to reduce those you can choose. You might find this strategy isn’t fit for purpose. Add to that the fact that many knuckle draggers here are borderline illiterate who’ll probably say “wot the fuck U talking ‘bout?” Sorry for the swear word. I was getting into character.
Going to dry my tears of laughter now. Good night.
WARNING: PLEASE DO NOT READ THE NEXT STORY. BEST TO QUIT RIGHT HERE. I’M EMBARRASSED FOR MYSELF, AND FEEL I WOULD ONLY PUT A DOWNER ON THE FUN YOU HAVE PROBABLY HAD WHILST READING MY HUMOROUS ANECDOTES.
LOVE ROSE X
(I agreed to meet a guy for sexy fun some time ago. What happened is described in the next story. It’s isn’t funny or entertaining. But it’s fact. It’s an experience I’m sad to say, isn’t a one-off. I’m sure there’ll be lots of you who have had similar experiences.)
“OKAY THANKS FOR AGREEING TO MEET I AM ON MY WAY, CAN’T WAIT BABY…”
I charge about, shower, douche, change into something sexy, re-do makeup, Apply fresh lippy, spray on my favourite perfume, I swoop about my house making sure it’s tidy, turn on my coloured mood lighting, play some soothing music, turn on my 100” projector and have trans porn playing, I prepare some drinks for us both, make sure the lube & condoms are easily reachable, put my heels on, check my self over one last time. Oh shit, it’s almost the time he said he’ll be here. I relax and get mentally ready for the good sex session he had promised me.
…tick tock, tick tock, tick tock…
The time comes and no knock at the door. I check my phone, he sent an update that he was ten minutes away. I check the time and he’ll be here soon. I can’t wait, I’d had a few offers but as this guy asked first, I’d turned the others down, I’m not one to mess people around. It’s only fair, and once I arrange something, I won’t break that arrangement. I’ve noticed the other guys have been gracious and basically said: “gutted but they hope I enjoy.”
…tick tock, tick tock, tick tock…
Five minutes pass, he should be here now. Ten minutes pass, I wonder what’s holding him up? I check my phone, he’s offline, it’s not a good reception around here, I keep waiting. 30 minutes pass, nothing. I send a message: “are you having problems on the roads honey?” No reply.
…tick tock, tick tock, tick tock…
An hour passes by, no message and still offline. 90 minutes slips by and I’m flipping my heels off, feeling deflated. The euphoria and excited anticipation I felt earlier has disappeared and I’m feeling rejected, stupid, conned, annoyed, angry, sad, fed up!
I try to reignite the chance that one of the other guys who was interested in meeting me earlier might still like to visit. But they’ve made other plans by then. I sit down and feel empty and frustrated. I look at the time and realise that from the moment I’d started talking to Mister Noshow, to this precise moment, four hours had passed. Four hours of my precious time had just been thoughtlessly, and cruelly taken from me. No message of apology. Not even a half baked made up excuse. I check now and then to see if he’s messaged with an excuse, nothing.
Days go by and he’s still offline.
Weeks and months pass and I’ve not thought anymore of it. I have chalked it down to experience and moved on. No point staying angry, it’s a negative emotion that never leads to anything good.
Six months later and I receive a message.
He’s trying to arrange a meet with me again. I remind him of the last experience and he’s giving me a sob story about how complicated his life is, but he desperately wants to meet. He promises he’ll make it up to me. He begs and begs. He showers me with compliments and I start to smile. I cave in and agree. And so I do all those things in preparation and wait and wait and wait.
…tick tock, tick tock, tick tock…
This time though, after I’ve kicked my heels off and i’m sobbing my heart out.
Not because I’m feeling emotionally attached to him. No no. I’m sobbing because I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid to be duped just the same as the first time. What’s wrong with me? Am I an idiot? Did I really think he was genuine when he did it the first time? I’m so angry with myself that tears are leaving mascara lines down my cheeks. The bastard even phoned me from his mobile this time. He really went out of his way to reassure me.
You can probably guess that the number he gave was unobtainable when I tried to call him back after he didn’t show up. Must have blocked me….
I’ve developed a very good ‘bullshit radar’ these days. However, some guys can still slip under it. I really don’t know why they go out of their way to do what they do. They must gain some kind of sexual thrill out of either - knowing they’ve put someone through an ordeal like that, or they just get off on the thought of doing something that they cannot actually do for whatever reason.
I cannot second guess these things. I also believe in Karma, and what goes around, comes around. So I satisfy myself with the knowledge that he’ll pay for what he’s done to me. But then I worry about the other people he’s going to mess about, and feel upset for those who are yet to be subjected to his twisted games….
Therefore, if you’re on this site, feeling good about yourself because you’re chatting to good looking people that make you feel horny and wanted. Yet all the time, you’ve created a persona for yourself that isn’t true. And because of that, you’ll never meet these people, just bear in mind that you could be affecting real lives. This is not a game honey! Some of us have an overpowering craving for karnal pleasure and satisfaction. It’s a driving force that can be so overwhelming that we can barely function until that thirst has been quenched.
Now, I’m not going to start a debate on the rights and wrongs of what we all do here. That’s for us all to deal with in whatever way we choose. But the type of guy I’ve just mentioned are everywhere. They’ll piss you about when selling something online, they’ll troll you on social media, they’ll send fake profiles to your email address, they’ll call and breathe heavily down the phone line. The descriptions are endless.
I consul myself with the knowledge that I will never been like that, nor do I want to be.
My grandmother, god rest her kind and beautiful soul used to say: “there’s nowt queerer than folk!” Ain’t that for sure gran…
Thanks so much in taking time to read the mad ramblings of this old tranny.
Love, peace, respect, and gratitude to you all.
Hugs and kisses
Rose x
