FabGuys.com: A (36) , Man in London, Greater London, UK

Me: White, English, 5’7”, 32” waist, 85kg, green eyes, brown hair, masculine, honest, reliable, well-travelled and a big reader. From London and live alone.

Yes, Please: Masculine next-door types, well mannered, reliable, honest, low-maintenance, grounded, cheeky and funny guys. Drinks and dinner are all good… if anything more worthwhile comes out of it, then great. Age wise: 21-45. I’m not hung up about perfect bodies, what’s inside your trousers or which part of the country you live in.

No, Thanks: The self-absorbed, Guardian readers, the deranged/delusional, ridiculous Insta-grinners, the massively overweight, CDs/TVs (I use Apple Music and have a 65inch Samsung at home).

Also: Don’t ask for naked pictures (I don’t have any), no drug users, the unwashed or endless chat. Conversation openers including: “stats?” “are you hung?” and “looking to meet now?” are best avoided. One more thing, if I need to wipe my feet on the way OUT of your home, I’m not visiting :)

Tip when putting your profile together - discrete vs discreet

Discrete means “individually separate or distinct” - example: plans are being considered by local bus companies to have discrete areas on their upper decks with “douching-stations” so that men can arrive at their destinations with enhanced confidence prior to meeting their dates.

Discreet means “careful and prudent in one's speech or actions, especially in order to keep something confidential or to avoid embarrassment” - example: a burly six-foot six trucker with sailor tattoos did his weekly shop at Waitrose wearing a pair of court shoes and a floral summer dress - he was so discreet, he was convinced no one had clocked him.

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