UPDATED 05.02.26. Apologies in advance that this is a long profile; some readers are challenged by this, but I cling to the belief that the clearer I set out my position at the outset, the less scope there should be for misunderstandings down the line. It usually works. Usually, lol.
I’m 65 but was once taken for 52 in 2024. Seeking only no-strings fun with reliable masculine guys 18-50s. I prefer to accommodate (Jesmond, Newcastle NE2), weekday daytimes & some Sunday lunchtimes, occasionally some other times too. Masculinity is by far the biggest priority for me, guys whom you’d never guess they’d have sex with other men. Ideally down to earth next-door blokey-blokes, especially bouncer, builder, bruiser and meat-head types. Stocky, thick-set, beefy, rugby-build up to moderate chub are ideal, but medium/slim build can be fine too. Hairy (especially legs) a big plus. Married, got a gf, newcomers, first-timers, inexperienced, bi-curious and non-scene especially welcome. I’m told I’m good at putting new or nervous guys at ease. I don't go for good looks, plain is fine, even ugly if they tick my other boxes. I offer comfort, privacy & complete discretion. I’m genuine, reliable, honest, articulate, witty, highly educated, polite, clean, discreet and sane. I’m not nosy, over-curious, demanding, high-maintenance or a liar. I am far from alpha male but I’m told it isn’t obvious that I’m gay either. I’m medium build, not very hairy, a daddy to some, but not a bear. I don’t go to the gym so I don't have an Adonis body, I have thin arms & legs and a bit of a belly now. Some guys think I’m hung, more down to girth.
Not seeking romance, a relationship or even friendship. Not into blind meets, so I need a clear recent face pic before I can agree to meet. I AM NOT LOOKING FOR GROUPS! (that’s anything more than 2 people). I’m not attracted to men who are camp, effeminate or obviously gay, so if you sound anything like Julian Clary or Alan Carr then we wouldn’t be compatible (no offence intended to anyone); attitude & vanity I find repellent. Do not ask to meet if you are unwashed or not prepared to shower at mine, have a sore throat, a cold, anything infectious, if you expect to be fucked without being douched (that means a repeated enema), if you’re a drug user, psychotic or have serious mental health issues. If we’ve chatted before & you message me again from a new profile with no face pic, I will have no way of knowing who you are! If I’ve blocked you in the past, don’t be dumb enough to try & trick me into meeting you again by making new profiles with no face pics, that will never end well. I don’t use aromas but I have no problem if you do, just don’t expect me to buy them for you. I find most aftershaves a turn-off. Not into phone sex, Snapchat, major role play, S&M, bondage, pain, blood, etc. Not into cock rings or other forms of ligature, cages, “chastity”, or piercings/metalwork/sounding etc. I find lingerie, panties & tights a turn off but I can sometimes go along with them on a masculine guy provided I can get them all off relatively quickly. I am not a free taxi service, I have no need to pay for sex and I NEVER lend money. Don’t ask me to write you lengthy sexual scenarios of what would happen if we met. Sluts, whores & bitches are women (the ultimate turn-off!) and don’t ask me to make you my sissy. I abhor liars & fantasists, endless chit-chat or message pin-pong; I prefer to keep messages as brief as possible, just the minimum to determine compatibility then make arrangements if we are.
I’ve had 8 Covid jabs, 2 monkeypox, hepatitis A & B, gonorrhoea, flu jab annually, & pneumonia. On daily PrEP and fully STD tested at least every 3 months (most recently 5th Feb 2026). PrEP guarantees I can neither acquire HIV nor pass it on, even in unprotected sex, but it gives no reassurance against any other STDs. It’s impossible to guarantee one is STD-free unless you’ve abstained from unprotected sex for at least 3 months after negative results (which is impractical). I bareback but happy with condoms, it’s always the guy’s choice. I never suck a cock inside a condom.
I enjoy mostly vanilla sex, I don’t consider myself dominant but can take the lead sexually. Oral (more into giving than receiving, but gentle mutual is fine). Rimming, provided ultra-clean. I’m top but I don’t need to fuck every time, there’s plenty of other great fun to be had. When I do fuck it’s more slow & gentle than hard & fast and I’m always happier when a bottom guy is douched in advance. It’s very rare that I bottom as I’m not built for it. I love kissing, told I’m good at it, so I’m disappointed if a guy won’t kiss; is he afraid that if he kisses another man while being brutally buggered up the backside that the kissing part might make him queer? That wouldn’t do, would it!
I’m very experienced but love to meet inexperienced men, I find them quite a turn on; I’m excited by the idea of introducing a guy to pleasures new. Horniest of all is a man who’s never been with another man, that’s immensely exciting. I’ve given several guys their 1st-time experience with another bloke and I’ve enjoyed taking virginities too.
I love shorts & men’s underwear: classic Speedo budgie-smugglers, tight trunks, cycling gear, Lycra, Spandex, compression shorts, footie kit, jocks, singlets etc., in fact anything snug, sheer, thin & stretchy. Also, those provocatively revealing baggy grey joggers! I prefer uncut but not a deal-breaker, and I’m largely untroubled by the size of a guy’s dick, although I do struggle with micro-penises. Impotence, phimosis (look it up) and overly-long straggly untrimmed pubes are not good. I’m not particularly into feet, but a big-build bloke with solid muscular legs wearing short shorts & flimsy flipflops will catch my eye.
It always gives me a belly laugh when I read profiles that say “straight” and “seeking men” at the same time. “Straight”; do you know what that means? Go grab yourself a dictionary & look up the word heterosexual! I have great news for all you bi guys still hiding in the closet: “it’s only gay if you push back”. Funnier still: those profiles that state “Not seeking single men” but at the same time say “Seeking TV/TS”; well I’ve got bad news for you: a TV is merely a cock in a frock, knackers in knickers. You’re only seeking TV/TS, so I don’t qualify to meet you because I’m a man; but hang on a second, I’ll just grab me frock - there we are now, sorted!! All those smug chest-beating alpha-males clinging misguidedly to their perceived heterosexuality who make grandiose self-righteous proclamations that they only fuck trannies but never men are sadly dwelling under the most laughable of self-delusions - just because the man who sodomised you happens to be wearing frilly knickers does not keep you “straight”!
Thanks for reading, and do have an excellent day.
