UPDATED 23.04.24. Apologies in advance that this is a long profile; some readers are challenged by this, but I cling to the belief that if I set out my position clearly at the outset, there should be less scope for misunderstandings down the line. It usually works. Usually, lol.
I am 63 but often get taken for much younger. Seeking only no-strings fun with reliable masculine guys 18-50s. Not seeking romance, a relationship or even friendship, only casual fun. I prefer to accommodate in Jesmond (NE2), weekday daytimes best for me plus some Sunday lunchtimes; occasionally some midweek early evenings but they depend on how my day has already gone. I offer comfort, privacy and complete discretion. I’m genuine, reliable, honest, articulate, witty, educated, intelligent, polite, clean, totally discreet and sane. I’m not nosy, over-curious, demanding, clingy, untruthful or high-maintenance. I am far from an alpha male but I’m told it isn’t obvious that I’m gay either. Medium build, I don’t go to the gym, so I don't have an Adonis body and I’m definitely not a bear. I have thin arms & legs, I now have a bit of a gut, however I have been complimented on the contents of my briefs and on my full curvy pert butt. I’ve had 5 Covid jabs, 2 monkeypox, hepatitis A & B, flu jab annually, & pneumonia too. On daily PrEP and fully STD tested at least every 3 months. PrEP guarantees I can neither acquire nor pass on HIV even in unprotected sex, but gives no reassurances for any other STDs.
Masculinity is by far the biggest priority for me, I am most attracted to guys whom you’d never guess they’d have sex with other men. Ordinary down to earth next-door blokey-blokes, especially bouncer, builder, bruiser and meat-head types. Stocky, thick-set, beefy, rugby-build up to moderate chub are ideal, but I also stress that medium build can be fine too, and I’ve had great fun with some slimmer guys as well. Hairy (especially legs) is a big plus, but not essential. Men who are married, got a gf, newcomers, first-timers, inexperienced, bi-curious and non-scene especially welcome. I don't go for good looks, plain is fine, even ugly if they tick my other boxes, and I’m largely untroubled by the size of a guy’s dick. I’m turned off by men who are the remotest bit camp, effeminate or obviously gay, so if you sound like Julian Clary or Alan Carr then we definitely wouldn’t be compatible (no offence intended to anyone). Attitude & vanity I find repellent, and if you bleach your hair, pluck your eyebrows or don’t wear socks, etc., then you’re not for me. I do not want to meet queens, bitchy swishy men, trendies or fashion victims. After one extremely bad experience, I also ask that you don’t contact me if you’re a drug user, unstable, psychotic or have other unresolved serious mental health issues.
I enjoy vanilla sex, I don’t consider myself dominant but I can take the lead sexually, especially if I know what a guy really wants. I’m tactile & sensual, I like undressing a guy slowly, plenty of foreplay and lots of naked body contact, oral (more into giving than receiving but gentle mutual is fine) and rimming provided ultra-clean. I’m told I’m extremely good at giving BJs, so if you enjoy receiving great oral, that’s a big plus. I love kissing, I do it well, so I’m always disappointed if a guy won’t kiss; is he afraid that if he kisses another man while being brutally buggered up the backside, deepthroating a cock and taking a heavy facial, that the kissing part might make him queer? That wouldn’t do! I am top (please be douched in advance); I don’t need to fuck every time, there’s plenty of other great fun to be had. When I do fuck it’s more slow & gentle than hard & fast, I like to take my time. It’s extremely rare that I bottom as I’m just not built for it, although just occasionally I yield to one or two of my less hung but trusted regulars. I’ve been lucky in giving several men their first-time experience with another bloke and I have taken a few male virginities. I love shorts and men’s underwear: classic Speedo budgie-smugglers, tight trunks, cycling gear, Lycra, Spandex, compression shorts, footie kit, jocks, singlets etc., in fact anything snug, sheer, thin & stretchy. Also those provocatively revealing baggy grey joggers! I’m not specifically into feet, but a big-build bloke with solid shapely muscular legs, wearing short shorts & flimsy flipflops is of big interest to me. I do expect cleanliness but find most aftershaves a turn-off.
I’m not into blind meets, as it’s ludicrous to be expected to commit to having sex with a complete stranger with no idea at all of what they look like! It really is amazing how many guys expect you to agree to have sex with them when you’ve never even seen their face; WTF is that about? lol. I may very rarely make an exception to this but only if I’m fully convinced that the guy aligns with the type of man I am seeking as described in my profile. I do NOT do: groups, phone sex, Snapchat, role play, S&M, bondage, pain, blood, etc. I won’t meet guys who are unwashed or not prepared to shower at mine, if they have a cold, a sore throat, a cold sore or anything else contagious, if they expect to be fucked without being douched (that means a repeated enema, not the French word for shower) or anyone who has taken drugs, as my experience of that is it usually makes them completely impotent. Not a fan of cock rings or other metalwork, and I find lingerie, tights etc. a big turn off. I don’t offer a free taxi service or provide aromas, and I have no need to pay for sex, so don’t bother asking me for money. Not into erotic prose, so please don’t ask me to write you lengthy & detailed sexual scenarios. Sluts, whores & bitches are women (the ultimate sexual turn-off for me!) and don’t ask me to make you my sissy. I avoid liars, I don’t like endless chit-chat or message pin-pong; I prefer to keep messages as brief, concise & few as possible, just the barest minimum to determine compatibility and then make arrangements if we find we are suited.
Just before you go: It always gives me a laugh when I read profiles that say “straight” and “seeking men” at the same time. “Straight”? Are you sure?? - ha ha, go grab yourself a dictionary and look up what heterosexual means! [As some say: “it’s only gay if you push back”, lol.] And funnier still: those profiles that state “not seeking single men” but at the same time say “seeking TV/TS”; well I have bad news for you: a TV is simply a cock in a frock, knackers in knickers. So I don’t qualify to meet you because I’m a man; but hang on a second, I’ll just grab me frock - there we are now, sorted!! PMSL.
Thanks for reading, and do have an excellent day.
