UPDATED 11.12.24. Apologies in advance that this is a long profile; some readers are challenged by this, but I cling to the belief that the clearer I set out my position at the outset, the less scope there should be for misunderstandings down the line. It usually works. Usually, lol.
I cannot stress this enough: I am not into blind meets, the very idea of committing to have sex with a complete stranger with no idea of what they look like is laughable and beyond ludicrous!! Everyone has a phone now, photos can be taken literally in seconds, and they’re quickly approved on here. I didn’t get this many verifications by being a dick, and anyone who thinks I’m untrustworthy to be sent a face pic is not someone I’d want to be intimate with anyway. I may very rarely make an exception to this but only if I’m convinced that the guy is masculine and aligns with the type of man I am seeking as described in my profile. Rant over.
I am 63 but was recently genuinely taken for 52. Seeking only no-strings fun with reliable masculine guys 18-50s. Not seeking romance, a relationship or even friendship, only casual fun. I can drive but I prefer to accommodate in Jesmond (NE2), weekday daytimes best for me plus some Sunday lunchtimes; occasionally some midweek early evenings but they depend on how my day has already gone. I offer comfort, privacy and complete discretion. I’m genuine, reliable, honest, articulate, witty, highly educated, intelligent, polite, clean, totally discreet and sane. I’m not nosy, over-curious, demanding, clingy, untruthful or high-maintenance. I am far from an alpha male but I’m told it isn’t obvious that I’m gay either. Medium build, not very hairy, I don’t go to the gym so I don't have an Adonis body and I’m definitely not a bear. I have thin arms & legs, I now have a bit of a gut, however I have been complimented on the contents of my briefs and on my full curvy butt.
I’ve had 6 Covid jabs, 2 monkeypox, hepatitis A & B, flu jab annually, & pneumonia too. On daily PrEP and fully STD tested at least every 3 months. I am HIV negative, and PrEP guarantees I can neither acquire HIV nor pass it on, even in unprotected sex, but it gives no reassurances for any other STDs. A negative test result for HIV or syphilis only tells you your status as it was 3 months before the test date, and it’s 2 weeks for gonorrhoea & Chlamydia. Due to this, it’s impossible to guarantee one is STD-free unless you’ve abstained from all unprotected sex for at least 3 months following a set of negative test results. I do bareback but I’m perfectly happy to use condoms, it’s always the guy’s choice, which I will always fully respect. I will never suck a cock inside a condom.
Masculinity is by far the biggest priority for me, I am most attracted to guys whom you’d never guess they’d have sex with other men. Ordinary down to earth next-door blokey-blokes, especially bouncer, builder, bruiser and meat-head types. Stocky, thick-set, beefy, rugby-build up to moderate chub are ideal, but I also stress that medium build can be fine too, and I’ve had great fun with some slimmer guys as well. Hairy (especially legs) is a big plus, so bears, otters etc. are welcome. If you are bearded, please keep it clean; I love roast lamb but I once smelled & tasted it in a guy’s beard; gross. Men who are married, got a gf, newcomers, first-timers, inexperienced, bi-curious and non-scene especially welcome! I don't go for good looks, plain is fine, even ugly if they tick my other boxes. I’m turned off by men who are even slightly camp, effeminate or obviously gay, so if you sound remotely like Julian Clary or Alan Carr then we definitely wouldn’t be compatible (no offence intended to anyone). Attitude & vanity I find repellent, and if you are the type of guy who would bleach his hair, pluck his eyebrows or not wear socks, then you’re not for me. I do not want to meet queens, bitchy swishy men, trendies or fashion victims, I ask that you don’t contact me if you’re a drug user, and after one extremely bad experience, do not message me if you are psychotic or have other unresolved serious mental health issues. If you’ve given me cause to block you in the past, don’t be dumb enough to try and trick me into meeting again by creating new profiles with no face pics (which has happened a few times), as guess what, I’ll recognise you the moment we meet – D’oh!
I enjoy mostly vanilla sex, I don’t consider myself dominant but I can take the lead sexually, especially if I know what a guy really wants. I’m tactile & sensual, I like undressing a guy slowly, plenty of foreplay and lots of naked body contact, oral (more into giving than receiving but gentle mutual is fine) and rimming, provided ultra-clean. I’m told I’m extremely good at giving BJs, so if you enjoy receiving great oral, that’s a big plus. I love kissing, I do it well, so I’m always disappointed if a guy won’t kiss; is he afraid that if he kisses another man while being brutally buggered up the backside, deepthroating a cock and taking a heavy facial, that the kissing part might make him queer? That wouldn’t do! I am top; please be douched in advance (that means a repeated enema, not the French word for shower) but I don’t need to fuck every time, there’s plenty of other great fun to be had. When I do fuck it’s more slow & gentle than hard & fast, I like to take my time. It’s extremely rare that I bottom as I’m just not built for it, although just occasionally I may submit to one or two of my less hung but trusted regulars.
I am very experienced but I stress that I am not seeking only experienced guys. I’m very happy to meet inexperienced men, I find that quite a turn on, as I love the idea of introducing a guy to pleasures new that he may not have experienced before. Horniest of all is a guy who’s never been with another man, that’s immensely exciting, it’s actually quite an honour for me, and is something I’m certainly open to. I’ve been lucky in giving several men their first-time experience with another bloke and I have taken a few male virginities (which is all about taking time, relaxation and trust).
I love shorts and men’s underwear: classic Speedo budgie-smugglers, tight trunks, cycling gear, Lycra, Spandex, compression shorts, footie kit, jocks, singlets etc., in fact anything snug, sheer, thin & stretchy. Also, those provocatively revealing baggy grey joggers! I prefer uncut although that’s not a deal-breaker, and I’m largely untroubled by the size of a guy’s dick, although I do struggle with micro-penises. Impotence, phimosis or very long pubes are not good. I’m not particularly into feet, but a big-build bloke with solid muscular legs wearing short shorts & flimsy flipflops will always catch my eye. I do expect cleanliness but find most aftershaves a turn-off. I’m a hypocrite on the subject of smoking: I’m a non-smoker and strongly anti-smoking on the health grounds, but at the same time I find a guy smoking to be very erotic and I’m happy to meet smokers. I’m fascinated by the subject and I like to ask smokers about their habit, but I have yet to meet one who is prepared to fully answer all of my questions.
I don’t use aromas but I have no problem if you do, just don’t expect me to buy them for you. I do NOT do: groups, phone sex, Snapchat, role play, S&M, bondage, pain, blood, etc. or give out my Email address. I won’t meet guys who are unwashed or not prepared to shower at mine, if they have a cold, a sore throat, a cold sore or anything else contagious, if they expect to be fucked without being douched, or anyone who has taken drugs, as my experience of that is it usually makes them completely impotent. I don’t like a ligatured cock, so I’m not into cock rings, cages, piercings, other metalwork or sounding. I find lingerie, panties, tights etc. a turn off but I can sometimes go along with them for a while, on condition that I can get them all off fairly quickly. I don’t offer a free taxi service and I have no need to pay for sex, so don’t bother asking me for money. Not into erotic prose, so please don’t ask me to write you lengthy sexual scenarios. Sluts, whores & bitches are women (the ultimate turn-off for me!) and don’t ask me to make you my sissy. I abhor liars & fantasists, I don’t like endless chit-chat or message pin-pong; I prefer to keep messages as brief, concise & few as possible, just the barest minimum to determine compatibility and then make arrangements if we agree we’re suited. I don’t understand guys with their profile set to read Cannot accommodate AND Cannot travel; how the hell do they meet anyone? PMSL!
Just before you go: It always gives me a belly laugh when I read profiles that say “straight” and “seeking men” at the same time. “Straight”? Are you sure about that?? - ha ha, go grab yourself a dictionary and look up what heterosexual means! [As some say: “it’s only gay if you push back”, lol.] And funnier still: those profiles that state “Not seeking single men” but at the same time “Seeking TV/TS”; well I’ve got bad news for you: a TV is merely a cock in a frock, knackers in knickers. So, I don’t qualify to meet you because I’m a man; but hang on a second, I’ll just grab me frock - there we are now, sorted!! PMSL.
Thanks for reading, and do have an excellent day.
