FabGuys.com forum: Jokes and funnies make me laugh :-)

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Any glove jokes boys ?

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By *treethawkTV/TS
over a year ago

plymouth

Man enters a shop and asked the shopkeeper if he had any Condoms

Please?

The shopkeeper replyed,

No sorry!

Have you tried Boots!?

The man said fucking Mate!!

I want to Fuck her.

Not Kick her fucking Cu#@ In

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man goes into chemist to buy condoms

Asked if he’d like a bag

Says no; he’s not that ugly

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By *BZ 75Man
over a year ago

PAISLEY

A woman walks down the high street and spots a sign on the window of the local pet shop stating " clitoris licking frog enquire within " she goes in and says to the sales assistant I'm here to enquire about the clitoris licking frog as Im interested

The sales assistant replies " bonjour "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahaha.

Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a pub.....

Ahhhh they were the days!

Lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

lolol all made me laugh out loud

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By *ameyCoolMan
over a year ago

West Byfleet. Woking,

"A woman walks down the high street and spots a sign on the window of the local pet shop stating " clitoris licking frog enquire within " she goes in and says to the sales assistant I'm here to enquire about the clitoris licking frog as Im interested

The sales assistant replies " bonjour " "

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By *BZ 75Man
over a year ago

PAISLEY

Timothy went skipping home with joy from from Bible class his dad asks" why so happy Timothy Timothy replies " I got first prize today at Bible class so happy I got it

Dad replies " well Timothy sit on my lap and tell me all about it

Timothy replies " I canny my arse hurts

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By *BZ 75Man
over a year ago

PAISLEY

What you call an eastern European prostitute

ANSWER : Slobba doon ma knob u bitch

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By *oannacd70TV/TS
over a year ago

worcester

What you call an Irish lesbian

Gaylick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does your crap finish in a point?

It stops your arse from slamming shut.

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By *treethawkTV/TS
over a year ago

plymouth

"Man goes into chemist to buy condoms

Asked if he’d like a bag

Says no; he’s not that ugly "

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By *treethawkTV/TS
over a year ago

plymouth

What do you call a Russian prostitute?

Onya Bakubitch

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By *ountainMan
over a year ago

ipswich

Who came first the cockerel or the hen.

I just made that one up.

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By *oannacd70TV/TS
over a year ago

worcester

What you call a Muslim lesbian. Minge water patel

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By *BZ 75Man
over a year ago

PAISLEY

Which came first the chicken or the egg ?

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By *artford-50Man
over a year ago

Darenth/Sutton at Hone

Two nuns riding down a cobbled street on bicycles, one nun turns to the other and says, I've never come this way before, second nun replies, no, me either

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By *artford-50Man
over a year ago

Darenth/Sutton at Hone

Two nuns in shower, first nun says where's the soap, second nun says yes it does

I get my coat

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By *artford-50Man
over a year ago

Darenth/Sutton at Hone

why do women have legs?

Have you seen the mess, snails leave behind

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By *2mfun1Man
over a year ago

Brecon

Why does the Avon lady walk funny?

'cause her lipstick..

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By *udiguyMan
over a year ago

harrogate

"Why does the Avon lady walk funny?

'cause her lipstick..

why did the avon lady call?

cos max factor

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By *udiguyMan
over a year ago

harrogate

"What you call a Muslim lesbian. Minge water patel"

" Mingeatta "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chinese 69er.....two can chew

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a stutter until my late 20's,

I was sent to a specialist. told him I had a st st stutter. he examined me and said my stammer was due to my extra enormous cock size.

C C Can you help me. specialist said yes. he could preform an op were I'd lose 5 inches of my cock.

I said le le lets do it.

had the op and not a stutter to be heard.

After 6 months I went to the same specialist who did my op. and said my girlfriend is disappointed with me in the bedroom department, and if there was any chance the operation could be reversed.

Specialist turned round to me and said

N N Not a fu fu fucking chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I packed my job in after two days as a condom tester, had to work a week in hand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I put a condom on back to front, and went.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I knew an irish bee-keeper once..

He wasn't interested in the honey though....just the fur !

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By *BZ 75Man
over a year ago

PAISLEY

What goes black ,white ,black white tumbling down the stairs

A priest after he was caught with an alter boy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your vet won't tell you this, but if your dog is running a fever, get some mustard.

It's the best thing for a hot dog.

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By *uffinfukkerMan
over a year ago

chedzoy

What's the difference between a tory and a trampoline?

You have to take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline

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By *uffinfukkerMan
over a year ago

chedzoy

How many gays does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

How did they get into the lightbulb?

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By *uffinfukkerMan
over a year ago

chedzoy

Not really a joke, more of a truism.

THE FOO FOO SPEECH

For the last eight thousand years, since the start of civilization, heterosexual man has said to woman "your so pretty and lovely, can i see your foo foo?"

"No", she says "Not until you've fed me, bought me things, made me a home and made me feel ever so special"

Gay men say to another " Oi mate, can I see your foo foo?"

"Sure", he replied " I've got an hour free. Oh hang on, I've got a husband. You better look at his as well."

"Cool", says the first " then we can all go for a pint after"

And that's why gays are just better than straights

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I owned a restaurant called the "G Spot", but had to close it because none of the men could find it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me & my missus favourite sexual position is called the "England Football Team!" Neither of us know what we're doing or why we're there, there's no passion, no communication and we never make it pass the 1st stage. There's horrible dribbling and never a clean sheet. It's over far to quickly & when it does end I know it'll be at least four fuckin years before it happens again!!..

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By *ackTooMan
over a year ago

(Near) Accrington

"Me & my missus favourite sexual position is called the "England Football Team!" Neither of us know what we're doing or why we're there, there's no passion, no communication and we never make it pass the 1st stage. There's horrible dribbling and never a clean sheet. It's over far to quickly & when it does end I know it'll be at least four fuckin years before it happens again!!.. "

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By *erlinmateMan
over a year ago

cumnock

Had an EWOK pizza last night

it was a bit Chewy

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By *ustAnotherGuy81Man
over a year ago

Midlothian

What do you call a German sex pest (couldn't use original word)...hans uppercunt

What do you call a russian man with 3 testicles...whodyounickabollockoff

I found some great origami porn last week...just a pity it was paper view

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gagged

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By *oannacd70TV/TS
over a year ago

worcester

What u call a one legged Indian

Balancing

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By *etterbiggerMan
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

What do you call a russian stripper

Eva Vestoff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone looking to find a way of keeping cool this summer, avoid the scam website known as Onlyfans.

I spent hours on there last night looking for a fan but they don't sell them at all. Not a free standing, hand held or even a ceiling fan.

If anything I was hotter and stickier after I left the site than I was before.

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By *vminme2Man
over a year ago

Dunstable

I grilled a chicken for two hours today

And it still wouldn't tell me why it crossed the road

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By *eepeter4Man
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"I grilled a chicken for two hours today

And it still wouldn't tell me why it crossed the road"
that joke was on Tony Blackburn Gold hour programme tonight

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By *ildwestheroMan
over a year ago

Llandrindod Wells

It has been so long since I've had sex that yesterday I went to church to remind myself that I could still kneel

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By *ambi4uMan
over a year ago

Saint Helens

My mate caught me sniffing his sisters knickers.

He was angry at me as she was still wearing them.

He was so passed he wouldn't let me stay for the rest of her funeral.

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

I was going to tell you a joke about a lost letter, but you probably won't get it...

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By *airyandbelliedbottomMan
8 weeks ago

Barrow-in-Furness

For all you nice folk.

When you get off a train you alight it.

So when you get on a train you delight it

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By *ldmanMan
8 weeks ago

Rawcliffe Bridge.

Women are like hurricanes.

They come in wet and warm, and leave with your house and car!

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

I lost my job today at NASA MISSION CONTROL.

I misheard when they said....

"It's lunch time."

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By *airyandbelliedbottomMan
8 weeks ago

Barrow-in-Furness

Two gay 18 year olds get caught in the woods with their pants down. The policeman asked them what had happened.

J: Umm.. he started it by sucking his thumb

H: Umm.. and I said he looked yum

J: Umm.. then I fucked his bum

H: Umm.. then I sucked and he was about to cum

J: Umm.. so I said I will feed his tum

H: Umm.. but then I said he's not my mum!

J: Umm.. but you said I looked yum!

H: Umm.. Mr would you like to join and make this a threesome?

Policeman: UM. I really don't think either of you are that dumb.

And so both teens began to run, each with an exposed bum.

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By *airyandbelliedbottomMan
8 weeks ago

Barrow-in-Furness

“Why the long face?” Asked Daz.

“It’s Callie, she's left me.” Replied Bald Jimmy.

“Oh mate, I'm so sorry”

“She said sitting on the washing machine was more fun than the sex we had”

“Well, there's plenty more fish in the sea and remember washing machines live longer with Cal gone.”

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By *airyandbelliedbottomMan
8 weeks ago

Barrow-in-Furness

There was a man who had not been a particularly great man, he was lying on his death bed, blinded and frail when he asked God to forgive his sins. God heard this man and spoke to him giving him a chance at redemption. God told him he just had to pass on a simple message and all would be forgiven. The man hastily and happily agreed.

So God took this man down to the depths of hell unbeknownst to him and told him to speak his message. In the pit of the devil himself the man loudly proclaimed "You're a nasty little sh*t, aren't you." And with that, God forgave the man and left him there to redeem.

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By *rownriverMan
2 weeks ago

Crawley

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

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