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"The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. " That's the thing that puts me right off guys who explicitly state they're looking for TV/TS on their profiles, the suspicion that they're really after a woman-substitute. Not happening mate! Not with me anyway. I may dress in lingerie but that's for me because it makes me feel sexy and turns me on. Otherwise there's not damn thing about me that's feminine. | |||
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"The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. That's the thing that puts me right off guys who explicitly state they're looking for TV/TS on their profiles, the suspicion that they're really after a woman-substitute. Not happening mate! Not with me anyway. I may dress in lingerie but that's for me because it makes me feel sexy and turns me on. Otherwise there's not damn thing about me that's feminine." Tbh I just see them as a dick / fuck outside of that I have zero care for random hookups I think most bi men are just nervous of being outed and wrecking their marriage / routine social life So still cling onto the straight but dabble | |||
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"What I understand is that I like sex with both men and women. ![]() Me too always have | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. " Well explained ![]() | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. " +10 million gazillion | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. " ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...?" How about this from another thread "I’m essentially straight guy looking for sexual relief I’m attracted to women not men but do sex with guys as a sexual relief" | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose" That's nonsense, but carry on. | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose That's nonsense, but carry on. " Gay conversion therapy doesn't work. | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? How about this from another thread "I’m essentially straight guy looking for sexual relief I’m attracted to women not men but do sex with guys as a sexual relief"" ....what has he on his profile...? | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? How about this from another thread "I’m essentially straight guy looking for sexual relief I’m attracted to women not men but do sex with guys as a sexual relief"....what has he on his profile...?" ...oh I forgot to mention....there ate 19,000 men online... | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? How about this from another thread "I’m essentially straight guy looking for sexual relief I’m attracted to women not men but do sex with guys as a sexual relief"....what has he on his profile...?" The OPs question was about threads on the forum. | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose That's nonsense, but carry on. Gay conversion therapy doesn't work. " I completely agree. | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? How about this from another thread "I’m essentially straight guy looking for sexual relief I’m attracted to women not men but do sex with guys as a sexual relief"....what has he on his profile...? The OPs question was about threads on the forum. " ....do I have to explain to you how conversation flows again...? | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? How about this from another thread "I’m essentially straight guy looking for sexual relief I’m attracted to women not men but do sex with guys as a sexual relief"....what has he on his profile...? The OPs question was about threads on the forum. ....do I have to explain to you how conversation flows again...?" Good luck explaining anything to him! | |||
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"I find it hard to put into words what being bisexual means to me. I’m attracted to both sexes, but not an equal amount, and I will often find the line of attraction shifts. I guess its liking both chocolate and strawberry milkshakes, so when you go to order, you have to pick one over the other!" I like both too - the strawberry one is sold only on Tuesdays between 2 and 3, at the shop at the top of 200 steps, for which you need to download the app and make an appointment. Chocolate is here right now. | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? How about this from another thread "I’m essentially straight guy looking for sexual relief I’m attracted to women not men but do sex with guys as a sexual relief"....what has he on his profile...? The OPs question was about threads on the forum. ....do I have to explain to you how conversation flows again...? Good luck explaining anything to him! " ...weird have tried.... ![]() | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? How about this from another thread "I’m essentially straight guy looking for sexual relief I’m attracted to women not men but do sex with guys as a sexual relief"....what has he on his profile...?" I have no idea | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? How about this from another thread "I’m essentially straight guy looking for sexual relief I’m attracted to women not men but do sex with guys as a sexual relief"....what has he on his profile...?...oh I forgot to mention....there ate 19,000 men online..." Indeed there are but my profile name ain't askjeeves | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose" Yes we do | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose" That is not true. | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose Yes we do " Someone should have told Alan Turing. | |||
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"I have no idea. I see my self as gay but did have a girlfriend for about 6 months when I was 19. We fucked like bunnies and I enjoyed it a lot. When I discovered men in the gay scene I discovered lust, which I’d never experienced with women at all. We become enflamed for men as it is a fetish. Consequently, I’ve no problem understanding that some men fancy women, some men and some both. Makes perfect sense to me!" | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose Yes we do " If so then conversion therapy would work | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose Yes we do If so then conversion therapy would work" A bit of an obviously loaded statement, but it shouldn't be a no-go area in the context of the thread, so I'll run with it for you. Conversion therapies can be very effective in changing most aspects of human behaviour. For better or worse, like all forms of manipulation. In relation to sexuality, It has become a very thorny moral/legal issue as to whether conversion therapy should be an option/choice for those who might want to change their sexual behavior/drives/habits. | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose Yes we do If so then conversion therapy would work A bit of an obviously loaded statement, but it shouldn't be a no-go area in the context of the thread, so I'll run with it for you. Conversion therapies can be very effective in changing most aspects of human behaviour. For better or worse, like all forms of manipulation. In relation to sexuality, It has become a very thorny moral/legal issue as to whether conversion therapy should be an option/choice for those who might want to change their sexual behavior/drives/habits. " I don’t want to be converted back to being straight. If I were, I’d relapse immediately. | |||
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"There are a steady rhythm of threads and posts by (predominantly) gay guys here questioning various elements of bisexuality. Some in the spirit of genuine curiosity and some in the spirit of suspicion and distaste. What makes it difficult to understand being attracted to both sexes as an option for human sexuality? We can easily understand heterosexual people and homosexual people, it’s just how you feel, we don’t choose it, so what makes it harder to fathom that for bisexual people?" What makes YOU think that it's "harder to fathom that for bisexual people?" I, for instance, don't think it's "difficult to understand being attracted to both sexes as an option for human sexuality!" The "steady rhythm" is a fiction? ![]() | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose Yes we do If so then conversion therapy would work A bit of an obviously loaded statement, but it shouldn't be a no-go area in the context of the thread, so I'll run with it for you. Conversion therapies can be very effective in changing most aspects of human behaviour. For better or worse, like all forms of manipulation. In relation to sexuality, It has become a very thorny moral/legal issue as to whether conversion therapy should be an option/choice for those who might want to change their sexual behavior/drives/habits. " While you're not wrong, beware! A friend from here got a permanent forum ban after saying that there was no genetic cause that could be found for sexuality. The usual plonkers on here started banging on, calling him homophobic and an advocate for conversion therapy and, despite that not being the case, permanent ban. Admin don't give a crap, they just listen to the usual suspects when they get on their high horses. | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? How about this from another thread "I’m essentially straight guy looking for sexual relief I’m attracted to women not men but do sex with guys as a sexual relief"" Is there anything wrong with that? There are many gay guys who enjoy having sex with these 'straight' men, and proclaim as much on their profiles/status. | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose Yes we do If so then conversion therapy would work A bit of an obviously loaded statement, but it shouldn't be a no-go area in the context of the thread, so I'll run with it for you. Conversion therapies can be very effective in changing most aspects of human behaviour. For better or worse, like all forms of manipulation. In relation to sexuality, It has become a very thorny moral/legal issue as to whether conversion therapy should be an option/choice for those who might want to change their sexual behavior/drives/habits. While you're not wrong, beware! A friend from here got a permanent forum ban after saying that there was no genetic cause that could be found for sexuality. The usual plonkers on here started banging on, calling him homophobic and an advocate for conversion therapy and, despite that not being the case, permanent ban. Admin don't give a crap, they just listen to the usual suspects when they get on their high horses. " Don't worry, I'm not about to bang any drums for that method of behavioral change ... Not out of fear of a ban, but because it is ethically problematic and open to abuse. | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose Yes we do If so then conversion therapy would work A bit of an obviously loaded statement, but it shouldn't be a no-go area in the context of the thread, so I'll run with it for you. Conversion therapies can be very effective in changing most aspects of human behaviour. For better or worse, like all forms of manipulation. In relation to sexuality, It has become a very thorny moral/legal issue as to whether conversion therapy should be an option/choice for those who might want to change their sexual behavior/drives/habits. While you're not wrong, beware! A friend from here got a permanent forum ban after saying that there was no genetic cause that could be found for sexuality. The usual plonkers on here started banging on, calling him homophobic and an advocate for conversion therapy and, despite that not being the case, permanent ban. Admin don't give a crap, they just listen to the usual suspects when they get on their high horses. " "a friend" At least when Dr Who reincarnates, the character changes slightly. | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. " I think you make a valid point, and would wonder how gay people would react if they were told they weren’t doing gay properly by straight or bi people? If they weren’t “out enough”. I wonder that we need to just let people be and if we project homophobia onto what is likely to be a very nuanced situation that we don’t understand, we may be guilty of the very thing we are policing? | |||
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"For me im not physically attracted to guys full stop, but really enjoy having hot sex with some guys when the mood takes me. If that makes sense? " Yea of course it does because that’s what you enjoy. Therefore it makes sense on that basis alone. It may not be what I specifically experience myself, but it makes perfect sense. | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. I think you make a valid point, and would wonder how gay people would react if they were told they weren’t doing gay properly by straight or bi people? If they weren’t “out enough”. I wonder that we need to just let people be and if we project homophobia onto what is likely to be a very nuanced situation that we don’t understand, we may be guilty of the very thing we are policing? " The same thing would apply if a gay guy was also voluntarily fucking women and enjoying it, he's not gay, he's bi. There is still a big problem with homophobia, in many forms. Guys feeling that they have to deny their sexuality, even if due to societal, cultural or religious pressure, is a part of it. Outdated stereotypical assumptions about what being gay is, in terms of appearance, interests or effeminacy is another. Gay and bi guys are all welcome here, but if they come seeking validation for their sexual repression or regurgitate offensive gay stereotypes then they shouldn't be surprised if they receive a bit of push-back. | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose Yes we do If so then conversion therapy would work A bit of an obviously loaded statement, but it shouldn't be a no-go area in the context of the thread, so I'll run with it for you. Conversion therapies can be very effective in changing most aspects of human behaviour. For better or worse, like all forms of manipulation. In relation to sexuality, It has become a very thorny moral/legal issue as to whether conversion therapy should be an option/choice for those who might want to change their sexual behavior/drives/habits. While you're not wrong, beware! A friend from here got a permanent forum ban after saying that there was no genetic cause that could be found for sexuality. The usual plonkers on here started banging on, calling him homophobic and an advocate for conversion therapy and, despite that not being the case, permanent ban. Admin don't give a crap, they just listen to the usual suspects when they get on their high horses. "a friend" At least when Dr Who reincarnates, the character changes slightly. " Ohhhh!!! I’ve been so slow. “Marvellous meditative mindfulness” was of course “there is no gay gene in nature it’s all the result of nurture”… Of course! | |||
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"There are a steady rhythm of threads and posts by (predominantly) gay guys here questioning various elements of bisexuality. Some in the spirit of genuine curiosity and some in the spirit of suspicion and distaste. What makes it difficult to understand being attracted to both sexes as an option for human sexuality? We can easily understand heterosexual people and homosexual people, it’s just how you feel, we don’t choose it, so what makes it harder to fathom that for bisexual people?" We have explained to you what the issue is. And yet you want to cry like a baby again. And your sentence "so what makes it harder to fathom that for heterosexual people?" is, dare I say, badly worded. We understand bisexuality and have no issue with it. The problem we have is with bisexual folks who are in the closet and are paranoid about meeting, won't stick to plans, won't send photos, come on this site to discuss their wifes' panties (and sometimes their daughters' too), cheat on their partners and disrespect them in open forums, haven't got the guts to be openly bisexual, and yet claim to be part of our community, when they never do anything with, nor for, the community. On top of that, they hardly ever get tested for diseases, because they are in the closet, so they pass them on (I know from experience). Why is our dislike of such people so difficult for you to understand? Those are not men, they have no balls. The fact you are still trying to create an argument around this subject goes to show that we are right to dislike your lot. You also prove us right with your lack of verifications after more than a year on the site. As I said before, you are a troll. My community will welcome bisexual people who are strong enough to be openly bisexual, not the liars who abuse this website when they never made a single contribution towards our rights as a community. Is that clear enough for you? | |||
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"There are a steady rhythm of threads and posts by (predominantly) gay guys here questioning various elements of bisexuality. Some in the spirit of genuine curiosity and some in the spirit of suspicion and distaste. What makes it difficult to understand being attracted to both sexes as an option for human sexuality? We can easily understand heterosexual people and homosexual people, it’s just how you feel, we don’t choose it, so what makes it harder to fathom that for bisexual people? We have explained to you what the issue is. And yet you want to cry like a baby again. And your sentence "so what makes it harder to fathom that for heterosexual people?" is, dare I say, badly worded. We understand bisexuality and have no issue with it. The problem we have is with bisexual folks who are in the closet and are paranoid about meeting, won't stick to plans, won't send photos, come on this site to discuss their wifes' panties (and sometimes their daughters' too), cheat on their partners and disrespect them in open forums, haven't got the guts to be openly bisexual, and yet claim to be part of our community, when they never do anything with, nor for, the community. On top of that, they hardly ever get tested for diseases, because they are in the closet, so they pass them on (I know from experience). Why is our dislike of such people so difficult for you to understand? Those are not men, they have no balls. The fact you are still trying to create an argument around this subject goes to show that we are right to dislike your lot. You also prove us right with your lack of verifications after more than a year on the site. As I said before, you are a troll. My community will welcome bisexual people who are strong enough to be openly bisexual, not the liars who abuse this website when they never made a single contribution towards our rights as a community. Is that clear enough for you? " Not really, all your post says is that you are narrow minded and expect everyone to think the same as you. Frankly it’s a derisory response and deserves little by way of credence. | |||
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" I think you make a valid point, and would wonder how gay people would react if they were told they weren’t doing gay properly by straight or bi people? If they weren’t “out enough”. I wonder that we need to just let people be and if we project homophobia onto what is likely to be a very nuanced situation that we don’t understand, we may be guilty of the very thing we are policing? The same thing would apply if a gay guy was also voluntarily fucking women and enjoying it, he's not gay, he's bi. There is still a big problem with homophobia, in many forms. Guys feeling that they have to deny their sexuality, even if due to societal, cultural or religious pressure, is a part of it. Outdated stereotypical assumptions about what being gay is, in terms of appearance, interests or effeminacy is another. Gay and bi guys are all welcome here, but if they come seeking validation for their sexual repression or regurgitate offensive gay stereotypes then they shouldn't be surprised if they receive a bit of push-back. " I see what you are saying but I think there is a logical gap in your argument. You are assuming homophobia based on its existence elsewhere, but there isn’t any evidence that is what is driving the behaviour we don’t understand, we are having to assume it based on other things which are not necessarily directly equivocal. Therefore there is a reasonable chance that we are projecting homophobia onto something more complex in an effort to make it easier for us to fathom, but that in itself doesn’t make it so. Am I making sense? I know it would be easier to just align everything with what we are used to, but I think there is enough evidence that we aren’t able to do that, as much as it would be helpful for us. | |||
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" You are assuming homophobia based on its existence elsewhere, but there isn’t any evidence that is what is driving the behaviour we don’t understand, we are having to assume it based on other things which are not necessarily directly equivocal. Therefore there is a reasonable chance that we are projecting homophobia onto something more complex in an effort to make it easier for us to fathom, but that in itself doesn’t make it so. Am I making sense? I know it would be easier to just align everything with what we are used to, but I think there is enough evidence that we aren’t able to do that, as much as it would be helpful for us. " Back to the analogy: People would deny their liking for tea if people hated tea-drinkers. In the absence of hatred there is no shame and no need for denial. | |||
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"Do bisexuals even know who they find sexually attractive, or are they just making it up as they go along!" I find both men and women sexually attractive. Whether I find an individual man or woman sexually attractive depends on who they are. Do you find all men sexually attractive? | |||
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"Do bisexuals even know who they find sexually attractive, or are they just making it up as they go along!" They know what they like when they find it. Same as you, I guess. | |||
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"Do bisexuals even know who they find sexually attractive, or are they just making it up as they go along! I find both men and women sexually attractive. Whether I find an individual man or woman sexually attractive depends on who they are. Do you find all men sexually attractive?" ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Do bisexuals even know who they find sexually attractive, or are they just making it up as they go along!" Yes I do know who I find sexually attractive also I know who I find emotionally attractive. There are both men and women that turn me on sexually and those who do not turn me on. Emotionally attractive 95% of the time ita women. I have no pretence about what I get up to with guys to me its about having mutual fun in bed and the sex | |||
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" You are assuming homophobia based on its existence elsewhere, but there isn’t any evidence that is what is driving the behaviour we don’t understand, we are having to assume it based on other things which are not necessarily directly equivocal. Therefore there is a reasonable chance that we are projecting homophobia onto something more complex in an effort to make it easier for us to fathom, but that in itself doesn’t make it so. Am I making sense? I know it would be easier to just align everything with what we are used to, but I think there is enough evidence that we aren’t able to do that, as much as it would be helpful for us. Back to the analogy: People would deny their liking for tea if people hated tea-drinkers. In the absence of hatred there is no shame and no need for denial. " Assuming shame is the only reason. I suspect that’s a little overly simplistic | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? How about this from another thread "I’m essentially straight guy looking for sexual relief I’m attracted to women not men but do sex with guys as a sexual relief"....what has he on his profile...?...oh I forgot to mention....there ate 19,000 men online... Indeed there are but my profile name ain't askjeeves" ....you missed the point... | |||
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" You are assuming homophobia based on its existence elsewhere, but there isn’t any evidence that is what is driving the behaviour we don’t understand, we are having to assume it based on other things which are not necessarily directly equivocal. Therefore there is a reasonable chance that we are projecting homophobia onto something more complex in an effort to make it easier for us to fathom, but that in itself doesn’t make it so. Am I making sense? I know it would be easier to just align everything with what we are used to, but I think there is enough evidence that we aren’t able to do that, as much as it would be helpful for us. Back to the analogy: People would deny their liking for tea if people hated tea-drinkers. In the absence of hatred there is no shame and no need for denial. Assuming shame is the only reason. I suspect that’s a little overly simplistic" ...I agree...on a personal level...I'd add...couldn't be arsed changing it /don't give a fuck... | |||
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" You are assuming homophobia based on its existence elsewhere, but there isn’t any evidence that is what is driving the behaviour we don’t understand, we are having to assume it based on other things which are not necessarily directly equivocal. Therefore there is a reasonable chance that we are projecting homophobia onto something more complex in an effort to make it easier for us to fathom, but that in itself doesn’t make it so. Am I making sense? I know it would be easier to just align everything with what we are used to, but I think there is enough evidence that we aren’t able to do that, as much as it would be helpful for us. Back to the analogy: People would deny their liking for tea if people hated tea-drinkers. In the absence of hatred there is no shame and no need for denial. Assuming shame is the only reason. I suspect that’s a little overly simplistic...I agree...on a personal level...I'd add...couldn't be arsed changing it /don't give a fuck..." This - it's an Internet forum not a counselling session - people just come here to spout and state their opinions. I'm sure the OP had good intentions starting this thread, but the reality is no one is going to change their opinion or views on any subject in these forums. Whether it be bisexuality, wearing women's clothes, what football team they support. Arguing and grandstanding - it's the nature of the beast with Internet forums | |||
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" You are assuming homophobia based on its existence elsewhere, but there isn’t any evidence that is what is driving the behaviour we don’t understand, we are having to assume it based on other things which are not necessarily directly equivocal. Therefore there is a reasonable chance that we are projecting homophobia onto something more complex in an effort to make it easier for us to fathom, but that in itself doesn’t make it so. Am I making sense? I know it would be easier to just align everything with what we are used to, but I think there is enough evidence that we aren’t able to do that, as much as it would be helpful for us. Back to the analogy: People would deny their liking for tea if people hated tea-drinkers. In the absence of hatred there is no shame and no need for denial. Assuming shame is the only reason. I suspect that’s a little overly simplistic...I agree...on a personal level...I'd add...couldn't be arsed changing it /don't give a fuck... This - it's an Internet forum not a counselling session - people just come here to spout and state their opinions. I'm sure the OP had good intentions starting this thread, but the reality is no one is going to change their opinion or views on any subject in these forums. Whether it be bisexuality, wearing women's clothes, what football team they support. Arguing and grandstanding - it's the nature of the beast with Internet forums " Only with some, others seem to take things on board and adjust accordingly. It's the small group of 'gatekeepers' that rip threads up and belittle other posters. They're probably projecting and overcompensating due to their own insecurities. | |||
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" Only with some, others seem to take things on board and adjust accordingly. It's the small group of 'gatekeepers' that rip threads up and belittle other posters. They're probably projecting and overcompensating due to their own insecurities. " Yes, there are even some that try to continue months old disagreements. Even after being given a permanent block from the forum, they simply come back under a different user name and restart obsessively stalking their perceived nemesises and carpet-bomb spaming and trolling. ![]() | |||
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" Only with some, others seem to take things on board and adjust accordingly. It's the small group of 'gatekeepers' that rip threads up and belittle other posters. They're probably projecting and overcompensating due to their own insecurities. Yes, there are even some that try to continue months old disagreements. Even after being given a permanent block from the forum, they simply come back under a different user name and restart obsessively stalking their perceived nemesises and carpet-bomb spaming and trolling. ![]() ...I agree...the green arrow can be very enlightening.. | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. +10 million gazillion " Also, lots of men and women use bisexual as a stepping stone to coming out as gay. So, I suppose it does discredit bisexuality a bit. It used to bother me tbh. But , I don't correct people anymore when they assume I'm gay. I know I'm bi, that's all that matters I suppose. The term bi+ is being used a lot now too so it's probably also partly genuine curiosity to understand new terms. | |||
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"What I don’t understand is the animosity towards bisexuals that seems to be present with a surprising number of (gay) men. Each of us is emotionally and physically attracted to the same sex, the opposite sex or both (or neither!) in varying degrees. That’s it. It’s fine. It’s your business, but just be honest with others so they know where you’re coming from. If you’re a man who likes cock but doesn’t find men physically or romantically appealing then you’re not a gay or bisexual man but a straight man who likes cock. That’s fine, just be honest so that others know what to expect, or what not to expect (like a relationship). It’s simple really." Nah, don't agree with the 'straight man who likes cock' argument. It's *too* simple! The problem is that sexuality is so complex and nuanced and influenced by many & various things, that a short cut like that doesn't work. I speak as one of those guys. I get very excited by the female form, the breast, the bottom, the curves... and not so much by the male form. But when I see a naked or semi naked man with a decent body, that excites me. And I love kissing a guy if that works for him and if it wasn't for already having a female partner, I'd certainly consider a male partner. It's an interesting debate, anyway. | |||
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" Only with some, others seem to take things on board and adjust accordingly. It's the small group of 'gatekeepers' that rip threads up and belittle other posters. They're probably projecting and overcompensating due to their own insecurities. Yes, there are even some that try to continue months old disagreements. Even after being given a permanent block from the forum, they simply come back under a different user name and restart obsessively stalking their perceived nemesises and carpet-bomb spaming and trolling. ![]() It's a wonder that you've been allowed to creep through the forum for so long. | |||
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"What I don’t understand is the animosity towards bisexuals that seems to be present with a surprising number of (gay) men. Each of us is emotionally and physically attracted to the same sex, the opposite sex or both (or neither!) in varying degrees. That’s it. It’s fine. It’s your business, but just be honest with others so they know where you’re coming from. If you’re a man who likes cock but doesn’t find men physically or romantically appealing then you’re not a gay or bisexual man but a straight man who likes cock. That’s fine, just be honest so that others know what to expect, or what not to expect (like a relationship). It’s simple really. Nah, don't agree with the 'straight man who likes cock' argument. It's *too* simple! The problem is that sexuality is so complex and nuanced and influenced by many & various things, that a short cut like that doesn't work. I speak as one of those guys. I get very excited by the female form, the breast, the bottom, the curves... and not so much by the male form. But when I see a naked or semi naked man with a decent body, that excites me. And I love kissing a guy if that works for him and if it wasn't for already having a female partner, I'd certainly consider a male partner. It's an interesting debate, anyway." There is no nuance to it, it's just desire, no more complicated that that. Some people inflate that beyond all sense, but all sexuality is simple desire, regardless of the form. This is why it's so unfathomable to claim that a newborn pops out with a gay label on it. | |||
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" You are assuming homophobia based on its existence elsewhere, but there isn’t any evidence that is what is driving the behaviour we don’t understand, we are having to assume it based on other things which are not necessarily directly equivocal. Therefore there is a reasonable chance that we are projecting homophobia onto something more complex in an effort to make it easier for us to fathom, but that in itself doesn’t make it so. Am I making sense? I know it would be easier to just align everything with what we are used to, but I think there is enough evidence that we aren’t able to do that, as much as it would be helpful for us. Back to the analogy: People would deny their liking for tea if people hated tea-drinkers. In the absence of hatred there is no shame and no need for denial. Assuming shame is the only reason. I suspect that’s a little overly simplistic...I agree...on a personal level...I'd add...couldn't be arsed changing it /don't give a fuck... This - it's an Internet forum not a counselling session - people just come here to spout and state their opinions. I'm sure the OP had good intentions starting this thread, but the reality is no one is going to change their opinion or views on any subject in these forums. Whether it be bisexuality, wearing women's clothes, what football team they support. Arguing and grandstanding - it's the nature of the beast with Internet forums " Absolutely agree, I am not trying to change anyone’s opinions, more just explore the topic and maybe learn from some of the considered responses. There have been some thoughtful contributions and it’s good to hear people’s point of view and chew the fat for those who are interested in dialogue. | |||
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"There are a steady rhythm of threads and posts by (predominantly) gay guys here questioning various elements of bisexuality. Some in the spirit of genuine curiosity and some in the spirit of suspicion and distaste. What makes it difficult to understand being attracted to both sexes as an option for human sexuality? We can easily understand heterosexual people and homosexual people, it’s just how you feel, we don’t choose it, so what makes it harder to fathom that for bisexual people?" I don't think people misunderstand it, I think there are just people who believe it's black and white. Their theory is either you like dick or pussy and you're just lying yo yourself if you say Bi. It's an old fashioned way of thinking but judging from the posts people put up on these forums, vile opinions and old fashioned thinking is the norm amongst the most vocal ones. Personally I don't have a label, I am very happily married to a woman, have a healthy sex life and am attracted to her physically and emotionally, I do though enjoy a cock every now and then but am not emotionally attracted to men and wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a man. After 25 years playing with both, I do feel I know exactly what I want but have been told I'm wrong lol | |||
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"I think the issue for some men, myself included, is the labels and the pressure to be 1 or the other. I've never personally labelled myself, but would describe myself as a sexual being who enjoys different experiences with different genders. I can be very kinky and submissive with men, but also very kinky and dominant with women. At no point do I feel in conflict, but I think that only comes with being honest with yourself and others (especially your partner!). ![]() Absolutely. Self-awareness is key to a peaceful life. That said, with humanity’s tendency toward tribalism, people will always look to put you in a box - Gay/Bi/straight. Arsenal/Man-U. Left/Right. Pick a topic and you get at least two tribes and even if you want to stay neutral… that’s ends up being a tribe by default. Sometimes it’s better to just not join in with the conversation! | |||
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" Self-awareness is key to a peaceful life. That said, with humanity’s tendency toward tribalism, people will always look to put you in a box - Gay/Bi/straight. Arsenal/Man-U. Left/Right. Pick a topic and you get at least two tribes and even if you want to stay neutral… " And the nuanced people are different to the boxed people, and the boxed people don't like it particularly as they don't understand how the nuanced people are so.... Love the point about self awareness. Most people I don't think are . But it's crucial for a happy head. | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? How about this from another thread "I’m essentially straight guy looking for sexual relief I’m attracted to women not men but do sex with guys as a sexual relief"....what has he on his profile...?" Anything except “Straight” BECAUSE THAT ISN’T AN AVAILABLE OPTION ON THIS SITE i.e. he has lied. | |||
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"What I don’t understand is the animosity towards bisexuals that seems to be present with a surprising number of (gay) men. Each of us is emotionally and physically attracted to the same sex, the opposite sex or both (or neither!) in varying degrees. That’s it. It’s fine. It’s your business, but just be honest with others so they know where you’re coming from. If you’re a man who likes cock but doesn’t find men physically or romantically appealing then you’re not a gay or bisexual man but a straight man who likes cock. That’s fine, just be honest so that others know what to expect, or what not to expect (like a relationship). It’s simple really. Nah, don't agree with the 'straight man who likes cock' argument. It's *too* simple! The problem is that sexuality is so complex and nuanced and influenced by many & various things, that a short cut like that doesn't work. I speak as one of those guys. I get very excited by the female form, the breast, the bottom, the curves... and not so much by the male form. But when I see a naked or semi naked man with a decent body, that excites me. And I love kissing a guy if that works for him and if it wasn't for already having a female partner, I'd certainly consider a male partner. It's an interesting debate, anyway." If a naked man with a decent body excites you, you love kissing men and would consider a male partner then you’re either gay or bisexual - the latter sounds more likely given you get “very excited by the female form”. Ultimately it doesn’t matter as long as you understand where you are with your sexuality and you’re fine with that and others know too, where it’s relevant. | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? How about this from another thread "I’m essentially straight guy looking for sexual relief I’m attracted to women not men but do sex with guys as a sexual relief"....what has he on his profile...? Anything except “Straight” BECAUSE THAT ISN’T AN AVAILABLE OPTION ON THIS SITE i.e. he has lied." ...why are you shouting...? | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose" I'm not setting up a big argument or discussion here but that really isn't conclusive. That can't be said unequivocally, there's a lot more we need to understand yet. | |||
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"While discussing this with a guy I met between fucks he decided I'm actually omnisexual ![]() ![]() I’ve always considered myself trisexual. As in I’ll try anything! | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose I'm not setting up a big argument or discussion here but that really isn't conclusive. That can't be said unequivocally, there's a lot more we need to understand yet." That’s an issue on here when people have such deep seated opinions and appear unable to accept anything that’s out of their comfort zone. | |||
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"The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. That's the thing that puts me right off guys who explicitly state they're looking for TV/TS on their profiles, the suspicion that they're really after a woman-substitute. Not happening mate! Not with me anyway. I may dress in lingerie but that's for me because it makes me feel sexy and turns me on. Otherwise there's not damn thing about me that's feminine." I fully understand that. There are people though that do not differentiate between say someone with a dimple fetish for wearing panties, or someone who gets turned on by the full lingerie thing , or a cross dresser who like to wear w0mens clothes. But perhps none of them actually want to identify as a woman and go down the pub swinging a handbag. there's a broad spectrum in cross dressing. I like lingerie whether it is worn by woman, men, or me, but it stops there. | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...?" Well i’ve certainly never seen a profile featuring a “forceful assertion of a straight identity” here; and even if such a thing exists, so what, if you don’t like it scroll on by. It’s actually none of your business. | |||
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"I regard myself as being 100% gay/homosexual but I fully understand what bi is. Covers a large spectrum from being almost total straight but enjoying a bit of gay sex occasionally, to liking men and women 50/50, to being almost completely gay but enjoying sex with a woman from time to time. The only thing I don't understand is bi guys adamant they are really straight. Well I do understand it. They are either in denial or frightened of the stigma of being branded gay which they still associate with weakness, effeminacy, unmanliness etc." You’ve had to make assumptions in your second paragraph there, and assumptions always say more about the assumer than the assumed as they are a vignette into the assumer’s mind not the other person. These are the only reasons that you can imagine. It doesn’t mean they are the only reasons. | |||
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"I've never known a straight guy who wasn't also romantically attracted to women as well as sexually ... Met plenty of actively bisexual men and women who had zero romantic attraction to those of the same sex as themselves. " I think it depends on what you mean by romantic, as that is a broad church. | |||
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"I don’t find men attractive and would never imagine ether being romantically involved with a man don’t have a type that I would or wouldn’t play with. But I class myself as bisexual because I absolutely love sex with men " same as many of us - join the exclusive club ![]() | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose I'm not setting up a big argument or discussion here but that really isn't conclusive. That can't be said unequivocally, there's a lot more we need to understand yet." Spot on, but some people refuse to even hear that suggested without screaming 'conversion therapy' and calling for a forum ban. | |||
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"I don’t find men attractive and would never imagine ether being romantically involved with a man don’t have a type that I would or wouldn’t play with. But I class myself as bisexual because I absolutely love sex with men same as many of us - join the exclusive club ![]() That describes me to a tee, don’t even give guys a second look in the street bit when I’m in the mood for cock | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose I'm not setting up a big argument or discussion here but that really isn't conclusive. That can't be said unequivocally, there's a lot more we need to understand yet. Spot on, but some people refuse to even hear that suggested without screaming 'conversion therapy' and calling for a forum ban. " Curious, when did that happen? | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? Well i’ve certainly never seen a profile featuring a “forceful assertion of a straight identity” here; and even if such a thing exists, so what, if you don’t like it scroll on by. It’s actually none of your business. " Are you suggesting that a gay guy, on a gay website, just scroll past an expression of homophobia? | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? Well i’ve certainly never seen a profile featuring a “forceful assertion of a straight identity” here; and even if such a thing exists, so what, if you don’t like it scroll on by. It’s actually none of your business. Are you suggesting that a gay guy, on a gay website, just scroll past an expression of homophobia?" Your assumption it is homophobic is entirely your assumption though. You have created this concept and now use it as a QED, but it was a false premise when you created it. | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose I'm not setting up a big argument or discussion here but that really isn't conclusive. That can't be said unequivocally, there's a lot more we need to understand yet. Spot on, but some people refuse to even hear that suggested without screaming 'conversion therapy' and calling for a forum ban. Curious, when did that happen?" It's a misrepresentation of a series of forum posts from about four months ago where he got banned, under a previous name, after trolling and obsessively stalking other users across several unrelated forum posts. | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose I'm not setting up a big argument or discussion here but that really isn't conclusive. That can't be said unequivocally, there's a lot more we need to understand yet. Spot on, but some people refuse to even hear that suggested without screaming 'conversion therapy' and calling for a forum ban. Curious, when did that happen? It's a misrepresentation of a series of forum posts from about four months ago where he got banned, under a previous name, after trolling and obsessively stalking other users across several unrelated forum posts. " It fucking sucks when you behave like a dick and consequences emerge isn’t it? Ah well, into every life some rain must fall. | |||
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"I've never known a straight guy who wasn't also romantically attracted to women as well as sexually ... Met plenty of actively bisexual men and women who had zero romantic attraction to those of the same sex as themselves. " I'm Bisexual and have certainly had romantic attraction/relationships with other men. Also, every time I've been to a Bicon (or similar gathering) I've met plenty of Bisexuals who who have romantic attraction to same sex. | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? Well i’ve certainly never seen a profile featuring a “forceful assertion of a straight identity” here; and even if such a thing exists, so what, if you don’t like it scroll on by. It’s actually none of your business. Are you suggesting that a gay guy, on a gay website, just scroll past an expression of homophobia? Your assumption it is homophobic is entirely your assumption though. You have created this concept and now use it as a QED, but it was a false premise when you created it. " You've haven't hypothesised an alternative justification for anyone that enjoys homosexual activity feeling the need to strongly assert their 'straightness'. | |||
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"Most gay guys understand bisexuality. The push-back come against the guys that seem to need to proclaim their continued 'straightness' and will distance themselves from even the 'bi' label, even although they enjoy homosexual activity. I have used various analogies before, e.g: some people like tea, some like coffee, some like both. If you like both you wouldn't feel a need to declare and assert that you are not a tea-drinker unless you thought that drinking tea was somehow distasteful of shameful. The forceful assertion of a straight identity, despite a bi reality, smacks of homophobia, hence the push-back. ...I have yet to see a profile here that claims to be straight...? Well i’ve certainly never seen a profile featuring a “forceful assertion of a straight identity” here; and even if such a thing exists, so what, if you don’t like it scroll on by. It’s actually none of your business. Are you suggesting that a gay guy, on a gay website, just scroll past an expression of homophobia? Your assumption it is homophobic is entirely your assumption though. You have created this concept and now use it as a QED, but it was a false premise when you created it. You've haven't hypothesised an alternative justification for anyone that enjoys homosexual activity feeling the need to strongly assert their 'straightness'. " Good point and a fair challenge. There are a lot of responses to this thread already which allude to something a friend of mine mentioned to me and which described what he was feeling. There are multiple approaches to what defines your sexuality and for many people sexual acts in isolation are not connected to how they define their sexuality. Not for any want to avoid a certain moniker, but for example and you see a lot of it on here, but there is a select group of people who may try to police their chosen label and state terms for being able to join the club and some people simply don’t abide by that and therefore step away from using those terms. Your assertion is that it’s all about disliking the concept, when for some it’s about not identifying with those labels as presented to them and thus choosing others. I am not denying the existence of the phenomenon you describe as it clearly exists, although I don’t think calling it homophobia is helpful for many although it is validating for others. My only counter to your point is that there are other perspectives here and what you presented isn’t the universal one in this instance. | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose I'm not setting up a big argument or discussion here but that really isn't conclusive. That can't be said unequivocally, there's a lot more we need to understand yet." The entirety of Western medicine including psychology, psychiatry and endocrinology have rejected the feasibility of changing or choosing sexuality, despite many decades of, often horrific, experimentation. The only people that still believe this is possible are religious fundamentalists. Even in Iran and Pakistan they no longer attempt it. There are many examples of people that have attempted it under the coercion of a christian fundamentalist organisation none have succeeded, some continue to attempt to live a more deeply closeted existence. | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose I'm not setting up a big argument or discussion here but that really isn't conclusive. That can't be said unequivocally, there's a lot more we need to understand yet. The entirety of Western medicine including psychology, psychiatry and endocrinology have rejected the feasibility of changing or choosing sexuality, despite many decades of, often horrific, experimentation. The only people that still believe this is possible are religious fundamentalists. Even in Iran and Pakistan they no longer attempt it. There are many examples of people that have attempted it under the coercion of a christian fundamentalist organisation none have succeeded, some continue to attempt to live a more deeply closeted existence. " Amen brother | |||
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"Without being labelled...Is it not an attraction to Sex in general..Why do people have to.label it ![]() Everything needs a label, name me one thing that doesn't have a label? | |||
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"Without being labelled...Is it not an attraction to Sex in general..Why do people have to.label it ![]() That’s curious logic | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose I'm not setting up a big argument or discussion here but that really isn't conclusive. That can't be said unequivocally, there's a lot more we need to understand yet. Spot on, but some people refuse to even hear that suggested without screaming 'conversion therapy' and calling for a forum ban. Curious, when did that happen?" It happened about 4 months ago when a friend on here suggested that sexuality was not inherent at birth. Then a couple of the regular heavy hitters with very small minds had a fit about it. | |||
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"Without being labelled...Is it not an attraction to Sex in general..Why do people have to.label it ![]() Try it, just one thing. | |||
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"Why do bisexuals need to announce the fact ?" Who knows? But I imagine it can have a positive effect when dealing with the usual bierasure some of us experience on a day to day basis Perhaps they should be more like gays and never mention their sexuality ![]() | |||
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"Why do bisexuals need to announce the fact ?" A bit like vegans | |||
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"Returning to my suggestion that sexuality is a spectrum, and hoping to avoid at least some of the obsessive labelling that leads to atrocities like "LGBTQIA+2", couldn't we just have a 0 to 100% scale between "only gets turned on by same sex (0%)" and "only gets turned on by other sex"(100%)? For the record, I'm about a 10. " There are some guys on here who are very obviously anti-bi and take every opportunity to denigrate, cast generalisations and aspersions, suggest bi guys should not be on this site, try to control what they say in the forum etc and so would be drawn to making negative comments to anyone who wasn’t ‘100%’. | |||
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"Returning to my suggestion that sexuality is a spectrum, and hoping to avoid at least some of the obsessive labelling that leads to atrocities like "LGBTQIA+2", couldn't we just have a 0 to 100% scale between "only gets turned on by same sex (0%)" and "only gets turned on by other sex"(100%)? For the record, I'm about a 10. There are some guys on here who are very obviously anti-bi and take every opportunity to denigrate, cast generalisations and aspersions, suggest bi guys should not be on this site, try to control what they say in the forum etc and so would be drawn to making negative comments to anyone who wasn’t ‘100%’. " or 0% ![]() | |||
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"Returning to my suggestion that sexuality is a spectrum, and hoping to avoid at least some of the obsessive labelling that leads to atrocities like "LGBTQIA+2", couldn't we just have a 0 to 100% scale between "only gets turned on by same sex (0%)" and "only gets turned on by other sex"(100%)? For the record, I'm about a 10. " Like the Kinsey Scale | |||
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"Without being labelled...Is it not an attraction to Sex in general..Why do people have to.label it ![]() Anything that already exists but has yet to be discovered/categorized ... Of which there will be a multitude of label-less things | |||
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"Returning to my suggestion that sexuality is a spectrum, and hoping to avoid at least some of the obsessive labelling that leads to atrocities like "LGBTQIA+2", couldn't we just have a 0 to 100% scale between "only gets turned on by same sex (0%)" and "only gets turned on by other sex"(100%)? For the record, I'm about a 10. Like the Kinsey Scale" All great art is plagiarism. ![]() | |||
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"Without being labelled...Is it not an attraction to Sex in general..Why do people have to.label it ![]() Like Wittgenstein... | |||
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"Without being labelled...Is it not an attraction to Sex in general..Why do people have to.label it ![]() I had to Google them ![]() | |||
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"I regard myself as being 100% gay/homosexual but I fully understand what bi is. Covers a large spectrum from being almost total straight but enjoying a bit of gay sex occasionally, to liking men and women 50/50, to being almost completely gay but enjoying sex with a woman from time to time. The only thing I don't understand is bi guys adamant they are really straight. Well I do understand it. They are either in denial or frightened of the stigma of being branded gay which they still associate with weakness, effeminacy, unmanliness etc. You’ve had to make assumptions in your second paragraph there, and assumptions always say more about the assumer than the assumed as they are a vignette into the assumer’s mind not the other person. These are the only reasons that you can imagine. It doesn’t mean they are the only reasons." Of course I'm assuming but aren't we all? None of us have all the answers. Doubt if even the experts have. I can only go one experience and what I've heard and believe me I've heard a lot of excuses and opinions over the years. | |||
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"Without being labelled...Is it not an attraction to Sex in general..Why do people have to.label it ![]() Nope, you've just labelled all those things. Try again. | |||
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"Without being labelled...Is it not an attraction to Sex in general..Why do people have to.label it ![]() Hardly .... Some as yet undiscovered variation of organic matter in a Peruvian rain forest wouldn't come under the same group-label as an undiscovered entity in a far-away galaxy would it. | |||
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"Without being labelled...Is it not an attraction to Sex in general..Why do people have to.label it ![]() There's a can of... something in the back of my cupboard without a label. Do I win a prize? | |||
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"Without being labelled...Is it not an attraction to Sex in general..Why do people have to.label it ![]() Yes! (Prize Unspecified) | |||
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"Why do bisexuals need to announce the fact ? A bit like vegans" Crossfitters | |||
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"Without being labelled...Is it not an attraction to Sex in general..Why do people have to.label it ![]() No your mistake here is thinking that because people give something a label it needs one, We have a penchant for labelling but that does not make it essential, it makes it inevitable. | |||
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"Am I the only bi guy in the village who does find men attractive?" No, nowhere close to it! Fire in!!! | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose I'm not setting up a big argument or discussion here but that really isn't conclusive. That can't be said unequivocally, there's a lot more we need to understand yet. That’s an issue on here when people have such deep seated opinions and appear unable to accept anything that’s out of their comfort zone. " Actually your comment shows that it is you that may have the deep seated opinions. What the comment is driving at is the complicated nature that we as humans beings really are. We really don't have a clue how the brain really works, any neurologist will tell you that our knowledge is miniscule in reality, and then how that inter- acts with the rich and complicated emotional base which we possess. So what the comment is pointing out is the complicated and rich being we are. So if you stop and think the comment is actually very open minded and devoid of a fixed and set opinion. Are you a leftist by any chance, have you got so into the habit of shutting down thought and exploration that you don't even realise you're doing it ? | |||
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"I regard myself as being 100% gay/homosexual but I fully understand what bi is. Covers a large spectrum from being almost total straight but enjoying a bit of gay sex occasionally, to liking men and women 50/50, to being almost completely gay but enjoying sex with a woman from time to time. The only thing I don't understand is bi guys adamant they are really straight. Well I do understand it. They are either in denial or frightened of the stigma of being branded gay which they still associate with weakness, effeminacy, unmanliness etc." ...where are all these bi guys who are adamant they're straight..? I've never seen or met any.. have you ? | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose I'm not setting up a big argument or discussion here but that really isn't conclusive. That can't be said unequivocally, there's a lot more we need to understand yet. That’s an issue on here when people have such deep seated opinions and appear unable to accept anything that’s out of their comfort zone. Actually your comment shows that it is you that may have the deep seated opinions. What the comment is driving at is the complicated nature that we as humans beings really are. We really don't have a clue how the brain really works, any neurologist will tell you that our knowledge is miniscule in reality, and then how that inter- acts with the rich and complicated emotional base which we possess. So what the comment is pointing out is the complicated and rich being we are. So if you stop and think the comment is actually very open minded and devoid of a fixed and set opinion. Are you a leftist by any chance, have you got so into the habit of shutting down thought and exploration that you don't even realise you're doing it ? " How and why have you just wheeled out the whole left v right nonsense on a thread totally unrelated? You accuse other people of shutting things down when you are doing exactly that yourself by adhominem attacks to try to delegitimise people’s contribution. Do what you feel is right, and maybe bring a little insight into it first? | |||
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"What I understand is that I like sex with both men and women. ![]() Couldn’t have put it better myself. Why do people get so hung up on labels? | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose I'm not setting up a big argument or discussion here but that really isn't conclusive. That can't be said unequivocally, there's a lot more we need to understand yet. Spot on, but some people refuse to even hear that suggested without screaming 'conversion therapy' and calling for a forum ban. Curious, when did that happen? It happened about 4 months ago when a friend on here suggested that sexuality was not inherent at birth. Then a couple of the regular heavy hitters with very small minds had a fit about it. " “Your friend” … 🙄 … (aka you) started a number of threads where you categorically denied that sexuality could ever be “genetic” or “natural” (the terminology of the last point caused some controversy, let’s just say) because no “gay gene” had been discovered. This led on to somewhat heated discussions of nature vs nurture. Since you were adamant that people’s sexuality was defined by external stimuli, other users challenged you to explain to them exactly what in their upbringings or lifestyles had made them gay. Which of course you could never actually do. The ‘logic’ of your position meant that there was a likening of such beliefs to conversion therapy: because if you truly believe that there is nothing natural about being gay and it is all via nurture and external stimuli, then homosexuality could be deprogrammed by a change of nurture or change of external factors. I remember the threads very well as they were highly contentious and I was involved in them; “your friend” aka you was utterly intransigent in your beliefs; and moderators ended up removing them and stopping you pushing the theme because it was so offensive. It seems strange that you want to allude to all this again, but there we are. | |||
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"Am I the only bi guy in the village who does find men attractive?" There don't seem to be many of you around, that's for sure. | |||
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"Am I the only bi guy in the village who does find men attractive?" Certainly not! I think it'd be a mistake to assume the Bisexual (and bi-curious) guys on here are an accurate representation of Bisexuality | |||
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"im predominantly gay .. but if there's a lady on offer and would like to ha e sex with me then I'm OK with that I'm not attracted to women but the sex side is a thrill but Men I love fully there bodys cock arse smell etc The first time I got an offer from a women was a bit confusing for me but it's just sex Anyone wants to pm welcome to " Aha now. If your story was reversed and you said you were predominantly straight and an offer from a man was “just sex” the pedants on here would be wailing; accusing you of, being in denial, internalised homophobia, living a life of confused sexual identity , needing to be true to yourself. Are you ? | |||
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"I regard myself as being 100% gay/homosexual but I fully understand what bi is. Covers a large spectrum from being almost total straight but enjoying a bit of gay sex occasionally, to liking men and women 50/50, to being almost completely gay but enjoying sex with a woman from time to time. The only thing I don't understand is bi guys adamant they are really straight. Well I do understand it. They are either in denial or frightened of the stigma of being branded gay which they still associate with weakness, effeminacy, unmanliness etc....where are all these bi guys who are adamant they're straight..? I've never seen or met any.. have you ?" You've obviously missed some posts on various thread on the forum. And I'm not talking about this one. To your 2nd sentence yes I have more than once. Had one guy in particular say something along the lines of 'Of course I'm not gay. I'm not even bi' just as he was getting dressed after we had just had full sex. Fair enough I don't think he used the word straight. | |||
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"Sexuality isn't an option. We don't get to choose I'm not setting up a big argument or discussion here but that really isn't conclusive. That can't be said unequivocally, there's a lot more we need to understand yet. Spot on, but some people refuse to even hear that suggested without screaming 'conversion therapy' and calling for a forum ban. Curious, when did that happen? It happened about 4 months ago when a friend on here suggested that sexuality was not inherent at birth. Then a couple of the regular heavy hitters with very small minds had a fit about it. “Your friend” … 🙄 … (aka you) started a number of threads where you categorically denied that sexuality could ever be “genetic” or “natural” (the terminology of the last point caused some controversy, let’s just say) because no “gay gene” had been discovered. This led on to somewhat heated discussions of nature vs nurture. Since you were adamant that people’s sexuality was defined by external stimuli, other users challenged you to explain to them exactly what in their upbringings or lifestyles had made them gay. Which of course you could never actually do. The ‘logic’ of your position meant that there was a likening of such beliefs to conversion therapy: because if you truly believe that there is nothing natural about being gay and it is all via nurture and external stimuli, then homosexuality could be deprogrammed by a change of nurture or change of external factors. I remember the threads very well as they were highly contentious and I was involved in them; “your friend” aka you was utterly intransigent in your beliefs; and moderators ended up removing them and stopping you pushing the theme because it was so offensive. It seems strange that you want to allude to all this again, but there we are. " This is not correct, but that nevers seems to stop you from saying it anyway. I guess the problem with being delusional is that you don't realise you are. | |||
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"Thought I’d add my two cents… I’m married with a family. Happily call myself bi, wife knows and also is too. We’ve both acted on it infront of each other a number of times. So I class myself as bisexual as I enjoy playing with guys, both with her and alone. But here’s the kicker - I categorically don’t find men attractive. That’s not from some kind of ‘hiding the truth’, as I’ve nothing to hide from anyone that matters. I enjoy cocks and playing with them, but don’t need to be attracted to men to be bisexual. I think this is where a lot of confusion kicks in: Men who have Phallophilia (attraction to dicks, rather than the person who they’re attached to) but cannot express that succinctly when they try to explain. I had a long chat with a gay guy once who couldn’t get his head around it at all. I likened to it my own personal experiences when a teenager - in that eager, hormonal pursuit of pussy, I shagged many girls who I didn’t fancy at all. Still enjoyed it though. So, maybe we should all just respect how people choose to describe/label themselves and accept that it might not tick all of the assumed boxes. " I hear your logic and I don't mean to question your sense of self because nobody knows you more than you. But, I can add in part of my own experience and I think what I say is what resonates with many gay and bi men on here. Comfortability with ones sexuality is a bit like the layers of an onion. For me personally, as I became more comfortable with my bisexuality over the years, the more I was able to accept and feel the mental/emotional/physical side of attraction...essientally continuing the onion analogy: as the layers of protection/fear/stigma we're peeled away I was able to express and feel my attraction more. For example, I was able to wank, explore fantasies or kinks without shame, fear etc afterwards. Again, this isn't a personal comment on your circumstances or sexuality. However, many of the bi/curious guys on here are petrified of the idea of someone finding out they are bi, are petrified of sti's, swear they only like cock or ass but spend endless hours on here - and claim it's just a quick scratch of a sexual itch. Lots of the gay guys and some bi guys like myself, have heard this rhetoric before, have lived through it, have said it ourselves. My personal reasons for calling out that behaviour is because I think it's actually harmful discourse And most of those guys are in fact, in denial. I'm saying that those guys have so many layers on their onion, they can't possibly feel any emotional or true physical side of attraction. I can't quote you any psychological theory or literature on that but just as your logic makes sense, what I just said, does too. I could blab on about Maslow's hierarchy of needs and how that applies but it would bore most people on here to death. ![]() ![]() | |||
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" … It happened about 4 months ago when a friend on here suggested that sexuality was not inherent at birth. Then a couple of the regular heavy hitters with very small minds had a fit about it. “Your friend” … 🙄 … (aka you) started a number of threads where you categorically denied that sexuality could ever be “genetic” or “natural” (the terminology of the last point caused some controversy, let’s just say) because no “gay gene” had been discovered. This led on to somewhat heated discussions of nature vs nurture. Since you were adamant that people’s sexuality was defined by external stimuli, other users challenged you to explain to them exactly what in their upbringings or lifestyles had made them gay. Which of course you could never actually do. The ‘logic’ of your position meant that there was a likening of such beliefs to conversion therapy: because if you truly believe that there is nothing natural about being gay and it is all via nurture and external stimuli, then homosexuality could be deprogrammed by a change of nurture or change of external factors. I remember the threads very well as they were highly contentious and I was involved in them; “your friend” aka you was utterly intransigent in your beliefs; and moderators ended up removing them and stopping you pushing the theme because it was so offensive. It seems strange that you want to allude to all this again, but there we are. This is not correct, but that nevers seems to stop you from saying it anyway. I guess the problem with being delusional is that you don't realise you are... " Yes, yes, I’m utterly delusional, me. It’s just one of Life’s glorious, remarkable, fantastical coincidences that there are two users of the same age and from the same small town in Wiltshire using the same pictures, both posting in the Forum in the same period, and whose same favourite topics are nature vs nurture and the lack of gay genetics plus the marvellous mechanical mouse-organ of mindful meditation. [Others of course may disagree where the delusion lies.] | |||
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"Thought I’d add my two cents… I’m married with a family. Happily call myself bi, wife knows and also is too. We’ve both acted on it infront of each other a number of times. So I class myself as bisexual as I enjoy playing with guys, both with her and alone. But here’s the kicker - I categorically don’t find men attractive. That’s not from some kind of ‘hiding the truth’, as I’ve nothing to hide from anyone that matters. I enjoy cocks and playing with them, but don’t need to be attracted to men to be bisexual. I think this is where a lot of confusion kicks in: Men who have Phallophilia (attraction to dicks, rather than the person who they’re attached to) but cannot express that succinctly when they try to explain. I had a long chat with a gay guy once who couldn’t get his head around it at all. I likened to it my own personal experiences when a teenager - in that eager, hormonal pursuit of pussy, I shagged many girls who I didn’t fancy at all. Still enjoyed it though. So, maybe we should all just respect how people choose to describe/label themselves and accept that it might not tick all of the assumed boxes. " Spot on | |||
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"I regard myself as being 100% gay/homosexual but I fully understand what bi is. Covers a large spectrum from being almost total straight but enjoying a bit of gay sex occasionally, to liking men and women 50/50, to being almost completely gay but enjoying sex with a woman from time to time. The only thing I don't understand is bi guys adamant they are really straight. Well I do understand it. They are either in denial or frightened of the stigma of being branded gay which they still associate with weakness, effeminacy, unmanliness etc....where are all these bi guys who are adamant they're straight..? I've never seen or met any.. have you ? You've obviously missed some posts on various thread on the forum. And I'm not talking about this one. To your 2nd sentence yes I have more than once. Had one guy in particular say something along the lines of 'Of course I'm not gay. I'm not even bi' just as he was getting dressed after we had just had full sex. Fair enough I don't think he used the word straight." ..the forum consists of a very small percentage of guys on this app, so "some posts " is hardly representative of the bi or bi curious men using this site...your own personal experience...well that tells me you have to tighten your filters....he sounds like a strange one... | |||
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"Do bisexuals even know who they find sexually attractive, or are they just making it up as they go along!" Here's a newsflash: We are ALL making it up as we go along. It's called life. It's the stuff that happens despite our delusion that things will unfold according to whatever plans we may have made. | |||
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"Thought I’d add my two cents… I’m married with a family. Happily call myself bi, wife knows and also is too. We’ve both acted on it infront of each other a number of times. So I class myself as bisexual as I enjoy playing with guys, both with her and alone. But here’s the kicker - I categorically don’t find men attractive. That’s not from some kind of ‘hiding the truth’, as I’ve nothing to hide from anyone that matters. I enjoy cocks and playing with them, but don’t need to be attracted to men to be bisexual. I think this is where a lot of confusion kicks in: Men who have Phallophilia (attraction to dicks, rather than the person who they’re attached to) but cannot express that succinctly when they try to explain. I had a long chat with a gay guy once who couldn’t get his head around it at all. I likened to it my own personal experiences when a teenager - in that eager, hormonal pursuit of pussy, I shagged many girls who I didn’t fancy at all. Still enjoyed it though. So, maybe we should all just respect how people choose to describe/label themselves and accept that it might not tick all of the assumed boxes. I hear your logic and I don't mean to question your sense of self because nobody knows you more than you. But, I can add in part of my own experience and I think what I say is what resonates with many gay and bi men on here. Comfortability with ones sexuality is a bit like the layers of an onion. For me personally, as I became more comfortable with my bisexuality over the years, the more I was able to accept and feel the mental/emotional/physical side of attraction...essientally continuing the onion analogy: as the layers of protection/fear/stigma we're peeled away I was able to express and feel my attraction more. For example, I was able to wank, explore fantasies or kinks without shame, fear etc afterwards. Again, this isn't a personal comment on your circumstances or sexuality. However, many of the bi/curious guys on here are petrified of the idea of someone finding out they are bi, are petrified of sti's, swear they only like cock or ass but spend endless hours on here - and claim it's just a quick scratch of a sexual itch. Lots of the gay guys and some bi guys like myself, have heard this rhetoric before, have lived through it, have said it ourselves. My personal reasons for calling out that behaviour is because I think it's actually harmful discourse And most of those guys are in fact, in denial. I'm saying that those guys have so many layers on their onion, they can't possibly feel any emotional or true physical side of attraction. I can't quote you any psychological theory or literature on that but just as your logic makes sense, what I just said, does too. I could blab on about Maslow's hierarchy of needs and how that applies but it would bore most people on here to death. ![]() ![]() Well i for one am not remotely offended, i just see a lot of what you say as complete nonsense. Exactly where do you get the idea from that someone just wanting a bit of cock actually is more likely to have something more to it ? Loads of men and women the world over are leading a double life and sneaking around. Not because they are hoplessly confused about their sexuality but simply because they want a bit on the side and don’t want to upset the day to day life they have. Try asking any sex worker how many customers they get who fall into that category. A desire for casual sex of all kinds involving some sort of meet, play, go arrangement has always been a massive part of human life and is not indicative of a world full of sexual torment and soul searching. It may not be for you, but you clearly don’t understand the never ending attraction of “a bit on the side” for many many people. | |||
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"One thing that I have noticed on profile on here and other gay/bi sites is 'no gays'. Rather amuses me. Do they think we are going to get emotional, romantic and clingy and demand we get married when all the 'bi' in question wants is a quick anonymous shag or blow job. Or do they think we are going to dance down the street afterwards, wearing a pink kimono shouting 'I've just be shagged by Charlie at No 44'" If they're both bi they can pretend it's not really gay, they're just helping each other out! | |||
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"One thing that I have noticed on profile on here and other gay/bi sites is 'no gays'. Rather amuses me. Do they think we are going to get emotional, romantic and clingy and demand we get married when all the 'bi' in question wants is a quick anonymous shag or blow job. Or do they think we are going to dance down the street afterwards, wearing a pink kimono shouting 'I've just be shagged by Charlie at No 44'" Your kimono is all the talk of Llandrindod, so don’t come all laissez-faire with us. | |||
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"One thing that I have noticed on profile on here and other gay/bi sites is 'no gays'. Rather amuses me. Do they think we are going to get emotional, romantic and clingy and demand we get married when all the 'bi' in question wants is a quick anonymous shag or blow job. Or do they think we are going to dance down the street afterwards, wearing a pink kimono shouting 'I've just be shagged by Charlie at No 44' If they're both bi they can pretend it's not really gay, they're just helping each other out!" If they're both Bi then they are not 'really gay', they are both Bi. | |||
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"One thing that I have noticed on profile on here and other gay/bi sites is 'no gays'. Rather amuses me. Do they think we are going to get emotional, romantic and clingy and demand we get married when all the 'bi' in question wants is a quick anonymous shag or blow job. Or do they think we are going to dance down the street afterwards, wearing a pink kimono shouting 'I've just be shagged by Charlie at No 44'" Love the idea of this ![]() | |||
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