FabGuys.com forum: Went sauna, was busy but left feeling lonely…wtf?

By *hilledtopman OP Man
4 weeks ago

Manchester

Guessing no one else feels like this sometimes when leaving a sauna? Maybe I felt overwhelming or the opposite, I had some fun but came home feeling meh!

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By *ondomhunterMan
4 weeks ago

hastings

When was this. Do you feel okay now?

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By *tar33Man
4 weeks ago

North London (outer)

"Guessing no one else feels like this sometimes when leaving a sauna? Maybe I felt overwhelming or the opposite, I had some fun but came home feeling meh!"

Did you speak to any of the other people there?

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By *hilledtopman OP Man
4 weeks ago

Manchester

"Guessing no one else feels like this sometimes when leaving a sauna? Maybe I felt overwhelming or the opposite, I had some fun but came home feeling meh!

Did you speak to any of the other people there?"

Yes spoke to people, tho most people weren’t my type and kept getting followed by one guy. But besides that I had some fun but felt like I’m craving more of a connection. No one’s fault probably just how my feelings

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By *hilledtopman OP Man
4 weeks ago

Manchester

"When was this. Do you feel okay now?"

Not really

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By *eicesterNowMan
4 weeks ago

leicester

I have been to a few saunas and Rosebay but had no fun maybe I am too old or chubby but was disappointed

I get the odd meet but too many fussy people. try again as I will this Saturday and someone will find you

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By *aul_tim2000Man
4 weeks ago

Grantham

Despite having some fun I've left sauna's feeling like that on a couple of occasions.

Might be the mix of people, atmosphere, maybe some subtle interaction with people didn't gel or it could be my attitude was a bit off from the moment I arrived. Next visit can be brilliant.

I write it off to experience and try again another time.

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By *astDevonGuyMan
4 weeks ago

East Devon

Never been to a sauna , but do understand the post meet loneliness and that feeling of not having made a connection. It’s strange that at times we share intimacy, without a care for making a connection, but at others we probably confuse the need to connect with wanting sex…

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By *hilledtopman OP Man
4 weeks ago

Manchester

"I have been to a few saunas and Rosebay but had no fun maybe I am too old or chubby but was disappointed

I get the odd meet but too many fussy people. try again as I will this Saturday and someone will find you "

Good luck. No, I did meet a couple of nice people and chat to people but still I came away feeling lonely. The sauna was fine. I think I went there with some intention of maybe getting a real connection with someone maybe I’m craving that these days I don’t know.

My fault entirely for going, sorry for the rant!

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By *hilledtopman OP Man
4 weeks ago

Manchester

"Despite having some fun I've left sauna's feeling like that on a couple of occasions.

Might be the mix of people, atmosphere, maybe some subtle interaction with people didn't gel or it could be my attitude was a bit off from the moment I arrived. Next visit can be brilliant.

I write it off to experience and try again another time.

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By *udistsubMan
4 weeks ago

S of Notts

Sorry to heartbeat Chilled.

Know where you are coming from , though, even though you have some fun and before you get there you feel almost compelled to go , i have sometimes come away with a feeling of WTF was that all about ...

then a long drive home to stew about it too !

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By *luteus maxMan
4 weeks ago

Waterlooville at night

I suspect saunas are for sexual gratification, and not designed for the establishment of deep and meaningful relationships. It's much the same on Fab Guys. When I arrange a meeting here, it is just for the physical sensations. If I want to build a relationship, then I'll chat in the coffee shop, or at a classic car meeting. You can't have an intellectual discussion while a cock is pounding your arse.

I guess this is why I like to meet married guys. They just want the sexual relief, and don't want me to replace their wives with an emotional relationship.

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By *exmachineCouple (MM)
4 weeks ago

kent

"Guessing no one else feels like this sometimes when leaving a sauna? Maybe I felt overwhelming or the opposite, I had some fun but came home feeling meh!"

Can be a lonely place….

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By *umlover68Man
4 weeks ago

Worthing

I always feel like that after, I just enoy it for the moment, and don't expect it to be anything more than it is

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By *alfTankMan
4 weeks ago

Boston

That sounds like being out with my ex wife and her friends. Surrounded by people, yet feeling isolated and lonely. It didn't help that they were getting in line to fuck her and the most fun thing I did was fluff a few guys and hand out the towels. Not fun.

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By *eefandfurMan
4 weeks ago

Edinburgh

The post-nut dip in mood is quite common. Saunas probably not the best place to try to find meaningful connection or a life partner. Although I'm sure it does happen.

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By *ickSeekerMan
4 weeks ago

Canterbury

"Guessing no one else feels like this sometimes when leaving a sauna? Maybe I felt overwhelming or the opposite, I had some fun but came home feeling meh!"

Maybe it was a case of misplaced expectations. Fair play to OP though for trying thst avenue. I can absolutely concur with the need for something deeper and more meaningful than just the transient instant bodily gratification (and sometimes not even that) but I'd say placing too much of a hope on a sauna visit is, well, a risky bet. To try and counteract the blues I'd just take a 'me' moment to pamper yourself or lick your wounded feelings or simply go back to your base of power, with the people, things, music, food, film, book, etc., tha you like and like you. Everything passes.

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By *ustOneBearMan
4 weeks ago

Neath

It can feel like that. It just might have been that day. Ive found you can an amazing time one visit and leave after just wanking yourself off the next. I have the attitude that I’ll got for a sauna and steam. Anything else is a bonus

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By *orkie64Man
4 weeks ago

pontypridd

i used to go to Yates sport centre for a sauna, guys would turn up, have a wank then bugger off, was such a funny place.

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By *dambi00Man
4 weeks ago

Leicestershire

Sounds like you want some companionship rather than just sex

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By *eefandfurMan
4 weeks ago

Edinburgh

"Sounds like you want some companionship rather than just sex"

Yes, might be worth looking into non-sex focused gay activities. Maybe look into your local Gay Outdoors Club or find something similar.

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By *excessMan
4 weeks ago

Sleaford

Understandable reaction I think.

Sex is great in itself for a couple of hours, but if your going home to an empty house, I'm sure it takes the edge off.

Long days to fill when you haven't got anyone to share them with

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By *hilledtopman OP Man
4 weeks ago

Manchester

"Sounds like you want some companionship rather than just sex

Yes, might be worth looking into non-sex focused gay activities. Maybe look into your local Gay Outdoors Club or find something similar. "

Thanks. You’re completely right

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By *hilledtopman OP Man
4 weeks ago

Manchester

"Sounds like you want some companionship rather than just sex"

Been trying to find it and getting frustrated and blaming others or this site. Been slowly realising the more you blame something else, the more you’re hiding from the fact that the problem is yourself (as in me)

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By *aremanMan
4 weeks ago

Wymondham

"Sounds like you want some companionship rather than just sex

Don't blame yourself. I find concentrating on my failures makes me more depressed, and that really is counterproductive. File under "in the past, better luck next time".

I recently came across a new box to put people in : "otroverts". These are apparently people who are fine with 1:1 interactions but balk at social gatherings. They're neither extroverts nor introverts. Maybe that explains your feelings?

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By *tephen_b50Man
4 weeks ago

Bristol

"Guessing no one else feels like this sometimes when leaving a sauna? Maybe I felt overwhelming or the opposite, I had some fun but came home feeling meh!"

It happens. The experience of a sauna depends almost entirely upon the people who happen to be there on that particular day, and it's in the nature of that environment that the contacts you make will be fleeting.

i've had days when i wished i'd stayed at home. On the other hand i've had a few memorable ones, when i've met some lovely people who gave me very intense experiences, and allowed me to do the same for them. Those are the ones that encourage me to keep going, but i know they won't happen that often and i have learned to rein in my expectations.

Perhaps a long break would help give perspective.

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By *ildwestheroMan
4 weeks ago

Llandrindod Wells

Going to a sauna is still on my to-do list. Guess, indeed hoping, they can be great fun but probably more about sex and instant gratification than long term connection. One drawback would be that you don't fancy anyone, or those you fancy aren't interested. Alternatively you get pursued by someone you don't really fancy but say 'What the hell' have some fun but perhaps afterwards wish you hadn't.

A meet off a site like this can leave you feeling the same. You can put a lot of effort and energy into it, enjoy the moment, but after he's gone you feel rather empty and alone.

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By *onnDMan
4 weeks ago

Harborough

" Been trying to find it and getting frustrated and blaming others or this site. Been slowly realising the more you blame something else, the more you’re hiding from the fact that the problem is yourself (as in me)"

You sound a bit hard on yourself, don’t be. I think what you felt is perfectly normal. I know I've sometimes looked to sex when really I’ve needed something else, companionship, a hug or shoulder. Sometimes in my repeated behaviour I know I’m chasing something that isn’t there, a memory or person that’s gone but that I miss so much and want to feel again. Don’t get me wrong hook ups can be the best thing and just what I needed, they just don’t always hit the spot.

Maybe try some social based activities if you don’t already.

It’s good to recognise your feelings, it’s an opportunity.

Blame the game not the player.

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By *luvnylonstockingsTV/TS
4 weeks ago

portsmouth

I never go for deep connection just sex ,but made so friends there to chat to and had a great chat with a guy who said he couldnt go with a t.girl because the look in make up and wigs messed his head ,but we sat down and had a great chat ,him naked me dressed and didnt even thick of sex ,it was a nice end to a raunchy day in the sauna

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By *lamMan
4 weeks ago

Merthyr-Tydfil

I completely get what you mean

I have had the same experience

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By *has2Man
4 weeks ago

Chaddesden, Derby

Saunas are odd places for interaction. Most guys are simply there for sex, not to talk. If you do talk, sometimes that inhibits the sex, sometimes not. And you can come away feeling you've not actually interacted with anyone, which is disappointing.

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By *ristol_Speedo_guyMan
4 weeks ago

Bristol

I go occasionally to a local one and often have mixed emotions when there and when I leave. Sometimes it feels like lightening has struck and its a 'wow, what just happened'. Other times its as if I was wearing an invisibility cloak. I guess its the anonymous nature of a sauna. They're not social clubs for making friends. Guys go for anonymous sex so if you haven't spoken to anyone other than 'you up for it?' It can feel fake and empty.

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By *itherMan
4 weeks ago

Leeds

Perhaps you should try a dating app. See if you can find a partner or at least a regular.

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By *ucker4you80Man
4 weeks ago

Calne

"Sounds like you want some companionship rather than just sex

You're totally right that the cause lies within yourself, but instead of trying to fix it by finding a relationship or by sexual gratification, take a good look at what you want and why you want it. There is nothing that you can obtain that will bring lasting happiness, nothing that will make your problems go away except digging out the roots of the problems inside yourself. Stop reaching for things and you won't feel disappointed anymore, stop grabbing at companionship and you won't be lonely again. Look at the beautiful world around you in every moment and you will be content forever.

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By *an.maleMan
4 weeks ago

glossop

It happens. Sometimes you can get self conscious and become more guarded than you should be. Sometimes there’s people in there who don’t see you as their type so you miss a connection. It’s easy to leave feeling empty and a little down.

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By *appylondonMan
4 weeks ago

West London

It all depends. Some sauna visits have been lovely as well as horny. Chatting to people, forming a friendly connection with a chap or two then getting off sexually with them. Afterwards thinking I would love to meet that chap again and not just for the sex. Those visits are the best.

Some visits, no one speaks or makes eye contact, it’s all fumbles, sucks and fucks. How I feel after those can vary, from being very let down (even if I did get off), or just loving the debauchery. That one seems more dependent on my mood beforehand and how horny I am. I’ve have some fantastic sessions where all I could see was a cock or arse through a glory hole and it was just raw sex and I’ve come away feeling great, and others where I’m chatting with guys, but came away feeling a bit sad and lonely.

If I have a few emotionally empty visits in a row, I swear off saunas until I get horny months later and need to unload, so I’ll try again hoping for a lovely and horny visit.

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By *manda-tvTV/TS
4 weeks ago

Gloucestershire

I think that’s my main fear as a skirt wearer being ignored x

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By *appylondonMan
4 weeks ago

West London

"I think that’s my main fear as a skirt wearer being ignored x"

Depends on the sauna. Some saunas have TV/TS sessions and you’d be very appreciated. By chance I went to the Greenhouse in Darlaston once when it was a TV night. I had a pleasant time with a few lovely TVs.

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By *dambi00Man
4 weeks ago

Leicestershire

"Sounds like you want some companionship rather than just sex

It’s understandable, hookups are fun and all but it’s nice to also have companionship. My ex partner and I were together for years, and due to his illness I don’t see him much anymore, once every few months, and I crave that companionship again which you just don’t get from hookups.

What’s helped me is picking up more hobbies, putting yourself out there more, maybe join some actual dating apps rather than just fabguys.

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By *apt peteMan
4 weeks ago

Stamford

On my way to Spash tomorrow. I suppose like most things it can be hit or miss, I'm hopefully going to have a good time. If not then maybe it wasn't too be.

Let's hope you get satisfied real soon.

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By *im le2Man
4 weeks ago

aylestone leic

Some ppl are just fussy. I go to have sex and don't care who with. When getting fucked from behind or in the dark you can't see who's using you.

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By *olin212Man
4 weeks ago

Aylesbury

Maybe a dating site would be the way to go?

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By *uckleybiMan
4 weeks ago

Buckley

I go to the sauna to be used. Love bending over or being man handled into position. I tend to get the post sauna drop if I leave without having made somebody cum, preferably inside me. Equally, I have a post sauna buzz that can last for days if I was well fucked and I will walk around with a big grin remembering the details.

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By *arridMan
4 weeks ago

Brighton

Just go for a sauna with the mindset that anything extra is a bonus.

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By *ridayguyMan
4 weeks ago

sexy bi free land in Cheshire

good call , never heard of oxtroverts before

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By *ridayguyMan
4 weeks ago

sexy bi free land in Cheshire

flippin eck, is it be lovely day, lol X

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By *atthew500Man
4 weeks ago

east yorks/hull

I go with the mindset of enjoying the facilities, love just being in the same environment of naked guys with similar desires but i dont act pushy, i find its much easier to start conversation with this mindset, once you start a chat when in the hot tub guys usually relax a bit…. And i do usually feel a hand on my thigh or a foot on mine, then you have the option to play or pass but its what i want so cool with outcome.

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