FabGuys.com forum: Coming out in your late sixties

By *obbielicious OP Man
2 days ago

Ely

I’m a mature man with female wife, kids and grandkids. I’m not out. Met loads of guys on this site. Just sex mostly - but there are some close relationships too and a real lover. I’m wondering whether to come out now to my family - knowing it will be an inevitable shitshow and incredibly painful for the family. What to do?

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By *ick1961Man
2 days ago

near herne bay....ish

Think very carefully before you do.

Think again.

Keep it secret, no point upsetting the whole family.

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By *ridguy50Man
2 days ago

Bridlington

Only you are able to answer this question but before you explode your life think very carefully.

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By *obbielicious OP Man
2 days ago

Ely

Anyone done it?

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By *evanianMan
2 days ago

Sir y Fflint - Gogledd Cymru

[Removed by poster at 31/01/26 08:49:16]

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By *oel2020Man
2 days ago

brough

I know feeling x

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By *lmparkgreenMan
2 days ago

Hornchurch

I am like you, except I haven't formed a close relationship. Personally I think it's too late in life to come out.

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By *aza1234Man
2 days ago

Walsall

I am in the same position as you I wouldn't want to hurt my family it wouldn't do any good so I will try my best to keep it a secret

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By *oel2020Man
2 days ago

brough

Love naked at home with guy

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By *evanianMan
2 days ago

Sir y Fflint - Gogledd Cymru

"Anyone done it?"

Nah! At our age, keep your cards close to your chest, life is far too short for hassle especially self-inflicted, it would be far too stressful painful and likely to result in devastating and total misery, it's time to focus on enjoying whatever time we have left in this unfathomable existence, whether it's a long or short future, (hopefully the former!), in the easiest, most comfortable and pleasurable way possible!

Good luck!

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By *issy SiMan
2 days ago

Horsham

It's never too late to come out. But you need to be mindful of your family and what effect it might have on them. Does your happiness outweigh their happiness?

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By *ubmike2000Man
2 days ago

London

I'm currently in a similar situation.

I'm divorced retired professional with a weakness for cock especially if you're highly sexed well endowed and experienced.

My first real boyfriend Gio was blessed with eight inches of beautiful stiff cock and he was priapic and always erect ready for action.

I've unfortunately lost touch with him.

Looking forward to meeting a replacement...

Mmmmmm Lovely thought ❤️

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By *bbillMan
2 days ago

Aberdeen

In similar position here . Would devastated family. So difficult

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By *arriedbiMan
2 days ago

Aldershot

Love wife but wouldn't come out as gay to her as would destroy our marriage so staying closet except few select close friends

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By *usan 749ukTV/TS
2 days ago

Bangor

"Love wife but wouldn't come out as gay to her as would destroy our marriage so staying closet except few select close friends "

Very sensible 💋

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By *lue555Man
2 days ago

harrow

One question you should ask yourself can you afford it divorce ain’t cheap do you have enough money to buy another house.How many of your family would disown you plus your wife probably doesn’t want to be single at her age.

I think you would lose a lot & gain nothing should keep it to yourself.

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By *raham999Man
2 days ago

OX11

My advice is think very carefully, you could lose more than you gain.

Would a lot of damage and bridges to repair.

If you can remain discreet.

Take care

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By *ick ZuckerMan
2 days ago

sheffield

Write a heartfelt letter to your wife/family explaining yourself and detailing how you have thought long and hard about coming out - and why you chose not to. Put it somewhere very safe or give to a trusted friend to hold (in case you die and it’s found)

Hand it over in the event you are busted to help evidence this wasn’t some flippant seedy sideline you chose to get involved in

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By *lanajMan
2 days ago

Yeovil

I'm in the same boat don't think i could do it to her although she's not anti gay as we have 2 gay grandsons but don't think me telling her would end well

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By *jh59Man
2 days ago

Hinckley

Married but in my mid 60's

We have separate lives ,I'm have come out to a few people but not to friends & family

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By *arl ABCMan
2 days ago

Stretford

I'd love to explore my bi side more, nobody knows about my bi side loving men more recently

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By *hil96Man
2 days ago

Portsmouth

Im very much the same. Have much to much to lose. To old to start again, even tho i want cock, gay sex and male company all the time. X

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By *IPMANMan
2 days ago

LONDON WEST

At your age they all know, what you have to realise is thatits none of their fucking business and they are probably deeply envious

LIVE YOUR LIFE...as long as you pay your bills... FUCK 'EM

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By *amie1402Man
2 days ago

Liverpool

DON’T

Unless you really want to wreck your life

Stay secret

After all why bother at this stage ?

Just keep on living with it

Millions do.

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By *issy SiMan
2 days ago

Horsham

Interesting when you read other posts about how men want their wives to watch them with other men. Fantasy and realty are not good bedfellows

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By *obbertMan
2 days ago

In a world of my own

I’m a single guy in my mid 60’s

Always knew I was gay, never formed a relationship with a women, or had straight sex.

Kept my preferences sexually personal all through to present day.

There is no need to ‘broadcast’ to all you are gay, straight or bisexual.

If you want to ‘come out’ then fine, but there’s always the possibility folk you consider friends will react differently to what you anticipate.

I didn’t have sex of any kind until I passed 40, when all family had passed away, now sex is totally gay, in private and between consenting guys, mainly with the same guys when we meet on cruising walks.

It’s all personal choice whether to come out or not, no pressure either way.

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By *ardforall56Man
2 days ago

belfast

Don’t do it think very carefully.Just carry on having fun.You don’t want to stir the shit at this time of your life.

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By *ffiMan
2 days ago

Edinburgh

What he said

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By *oxleyMan
2 days ago

Wetherby

Yup - enjoy the fun and hide in plain sight….

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By *airless-slutMan
2 days ago

London

[Removed by poster at 31/01/26 17:21:11]

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By *airless-slutMan
2 days ago

London

"At your age they all know, what you have to realise is thatits none of their fucking business and they are probably deeply envious

LIVE YOUR LIFE...as long as you pay your bills... FUCK 'EM"

It is their business and I'm not sure why his family should go fuck themselves when they're done nothing wrong.

You sound disgusting.

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By *ustOneBearMan
2 days ago

Neath

My husband was married to a woman go 38 years when we met. He decided to come out. Left her and eventually married me.

He always said it was the best thing he ever did. He could be himself.

He was so unhappy in his marriage. No sex, she spoke down to him constantly, even saying if he got sick to not expect her to care for him.She just couldn’t bare to see him happy.

At his funeral she told everyone how she wished him dead and got her wish.

I was glad he was cared for when he got sick.

I suppose coming out is relevant to the relationship you have

If you’re unhappy how it is, change it. If not, don’t.

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By *airless-slutMan
2 days ago

London

Not surprised she was angry after finding out he'd lied to her for four decades. If he'd told her earlier she might have found happiness with someone else.

If you're married and gay and have any respect for your partner, tell them. Anything else is just cowardly and selfish imo

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By *ustOneBearMan
2 days ago

Neath

So you think all the bi curious, can’t accommodate should come out to any partners?

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By *airless-slutMan
2 days ago

London

Gay, str8, bi, bi-curious, doesn't matter. If you're cheating on your partner and don't tell them, you're a selfish coward - end of.

Why should they live your lie?

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By *iketotry2000Man
2 days ago

Rhondda Fawr

It depends if its love or just lust. If you love another person more than your wife and want to be in a marriage like partnership ..then youre really contemplating a divorce with all its financial as well as social consequences. If youre just enjoying cock fun and cant see yourself not leaving your wife...just keep it to yourself

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By *ustOneBearMan
2 days ago

Neath

"Gay, str8, bi, bi-curious, doesn't matter. If you're cheating on your partner and don't tell them, you're a selfish coward - end of.

Why should they live your lie?"

So are you out?

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By *airless-slutMan
2 days ago

London

I'm not in a relationship, can do whatever I want.

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By *obbielicious OP Man
2 days ago

Ely

Thank you for the comments. A lot to think about. I like the letter idea.

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By *XciterMan
2 days ago

lake

Don't do it!

You are experiencing what happens when men get a little bit older, sex with woman becomes boring, they have three holes and like in your situation they're usually your wife, boring. I think it may be an evolutionary thing, once you've raised the kids, it's time to f*** guys or be f***** by guys or suck guys Cocks, to your question, should I tell? The answer is probably no, society won't accept it that you even asked a question means they won't. Perhaps the best thing to do is get a better calendar and watch lol

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By *V ShazTV/TS
2 days ago

Haydock

Consensus. Don't do it.

Crying

Guilt

Financial crisis

Mortgage

Loans

Hate

And the biggest thing is

Regret.

Gay or trans Sex is over and done with in minutes or hours, but regretting that you lost a relationship and screwed up will last a lifetime.

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By *damb00Man
1 day ago

Leicestershire

Sorry but this is incredibly selfish to your wife

Understand that coming out in your younger days would have been hard and people were ‘forced’ into marriage because it was the norm, but coming out now will just lead to financial crisis, pain, guilt, hurt and possibly not having contact with kids and grandkids.

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By *damb00Man
1 day ago

Leicestershire

"My husband was married to a woman go 38 years when we met. He decided to come out. Left her and eventually married me.

He always said it was the best thing he ever did. He could be himself.

He was so unhappy in his marriage. No sex, she spoke down to him constantly, even saying if he got sick to not expect her to care for him.She just couldn’t bare to see him happy.

At his funeral she told everyone how she wished him dead and got her wish.

I was glad he was cared for when he got sick.

I suppose coming out is relevant to the relationship you have

If you’re unhappy how it is, change it. If not, don’t.

Sorry to hear your husband has passed

But can you blame his ex wife? He lied to her for 38 years. If he had come out way earlier the she wouldn’t have wasted nearly four decades on him.

She isn’t the bad person in that situation

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By *antielover1TV/TS
1 day ago

weymouth

If your truly unhappy in your marriage and there’s no love there then time to move on, you don’t need to say anything about being gay/bi

Just end your marriage and go live on your own then you can do as you please and if you don’t want to come out that’s your choice but you can still have all the gay/bi sex that you want when you want without hurting anyone.

That’s what I did a few years ago and it’s the happiest I have ever been

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By *luteus maxMan
1 day ago

Waterlooville at night

A first step would be to have a 3some with your wife. If she agrees, it's a way to start getting her used to the idea.

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By *arcus BezzantMan
1 day ago

North Ayrshire

Why bother?

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By *weetpee9853Man
10 hours ago

Exeter

I am same love wife and family when we were younger we couldnt cum out as gay .

My self at 12 when i could cross dress and use a candel up my bum when family out.my first experice gsy sex was at 30 .i now dont have sex with wife no more she dont know i have gay sex .it was only 2 years ago went to a clic because i find i was having more gay sex .

Yes i was nervous and scared but the staff was great they took there time listen to me snd asured

Me it was nothing wrong me just that i had natural gay feelings they got me sexaul physclogist counciling only couple sessions but ho boy that was good .i now tested and all jab up .always how feeling like say if she dont know now best at times leave it .

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By *usan 749ukTV/TS
10 hours ago

Bangor

I don’t see any point in ruining their lives. Leave it as is

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By *yle400Man
10 hours ago

Chesterfield

No ways. Why spoil a good thing.

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By *ackfull1Man
10 hours ago

E mids/Anglia

What do you gain by doing so?

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By *ot older guyTV/TS
10 hours ago

exmouth

"Not surprised she was angry after finding out he'd lied to her for four decades. If he'd told her earlier she might have found happiness with someone else.

If you're married and gay and have any respect for your partner, tell them. Anything else is just cowardly and selfish imo "

Rubbish

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By *idingcockMan
10 hours ago

Driffield

Your wife probably knows or suspects anyway. Best to write out a list of the pros and cons, and then decide. The truth is liberating but you may find yourself in a lonely position.

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By *arti G xTV/TS
10 hours ago

Chandlers Ford

I came out late, always knew was gay, l just decided l didn't want to hide anymore. I came out on Xmas day in 2011 to my Dad, every time I went to say I have something to tell you, either something would happen or someone came round, l was going to tell my Dad over dinner but couldn't get the words out, time was getting on & just thought if I don't say anything I wasn't going to so I just took a deep breath & told him, he was absolutely fine about it & just said if you are you are, all my family/friends & work know & have been very lucky as have not had any issues, it was probably one of the best things I did. Understand it's not for everyone plus it's not always easy

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By *rancd2TV/TS
7 hours ago

Wolverhampton

"Gay, str8, bi, bi-curious, doesn't matter. If you're cheating on your partner and don't tell them, you're a selfish coward - end of.

Why should they live your lie?"

That’s a piss easy thing to say when you have nothing to lose.

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