FabGuys.com forum: Limericks (please add your own)

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

There once was a fella from Dorset.

Shops in Tesco in nothing but a corset.

One day by the freezers.

He encountered three geezers.

Took two but the third had to force it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

There once was a woman, Brigitte.

Whose flaps swung down to her feet.

Once walking to work.

She decided to twerk.

And she squirted all over the street.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dstefiMan
1 week ago

Solihull

One of my own invention that I was very proud of last time this was a thread (about six weeks ago):

O limerick, thou finest of verse,

With the merest five lines 'tis a curse

That your hum'rous levity

Is hobbled by brevity,

But haikus come off even worse.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dstefiMan
1 week ago

Solihull

Another:

All of homosexual genus

Admire an appendage so venous

By choice we select

A tool so erect

The magnificent, wonderful penis

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dstefiMan
1 week ago

Solihull

And one more:

While striding the decks singing shanties,

The sailors called "show off yer scanties!"

The twink cabin boy

Was a right willing toy,

Seamens' semen all over his panties.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustinaTV/TS
1 week ago

cardiff

I am a little mouse called Keith

Who likes to circumcise men with my teeth

I don't do it for leisure or sexual pleasure

I do it for the cheese underneath

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *speedoMan
1 week ago

eastbourne

There was a young lady from Laughton

Had two tits, one long and one shorten,

and to make up for that hairy old prat

And a fart like a 1250 Norton.

There was a young lady g lady from Azores

Who’s fanny was covered is sores

As she walked up the street

Scabs fell to her feet

In bloody great lumps on the floor

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

Like it everyone. Stefi, you're a poet 🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

There once was a man made of cheese.

From his navel right down to his knees.

When he goes for a wee.

He pees Dairylea.

And he shits gorgonzola with ease.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *3243Man
1 week ago

EDINBURGH

A Bobby from Nottingham Junction

Whose organ had long ceased to function

Deceived his good wife

For the rest of her life

With the aid of a constable's truncheon.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

Lol A3243. You sound like a road 🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *3243Man
1 week ago

EDINBURGH

There was a young guy from Ghent

Whose cock was at right angles bent

To save himself trouble

He stuffed it in double

And instead of cumming he went.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

There once was a vicar from Gibraltar.

Whose libido had started to falter.

So he popped a Viagra.

Shot like the falls of Niagra.

And came all over the altar.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dstefiMan
1 week ago

Solihull

There was a young fella from Blackwood,

Whose boyfriend initially lacked wood.

After much skilled fellatio

His hard-to-soft ratio

Improved till 'twas more than his crack stood

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

There once was a man called King Dong.

His member was ever so long.

He had a big prob.

When he tripped on his knob.

Whilst seeing the sights in Hong Kong.

Also made up a song entitled

"The all goes wrong for King Dong in Hong Kong song"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dstefiMan
1 week ago

Solihull

There was a crossdresser named Alice,

Who often found true gay men callous.

Till one day they found

A queer chap so sound

That in no time they were riding his phallus.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

Lol 🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *purtdownmythroatMan
1 week ago

Loughborough

There was a guy called Alex

Who loved sucking big girthy dicks

He liked swallowing nut

Down into his gut

To get his daily protein fix

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

By _ustinaFind posts by _ustina TV/TS

46 minutes ago

cardiff

I am a little mouse called Keith

Who likes to circumcise men with my teeth

I don't do it for leisure or sexual pleasure

I do it for the cheese underneath

Ouch and ewww Justina 🤪

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *watersMan
1 week ago

Stirchley

There was a young lass from Dundee

Went down to the river to pee

A man in a punt

Put his hand on her cunt

And oh how I wish it was me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ldergent321Man
1 week ago

South Coast

There was a young man from East Cheam

Who invented a wanking machine

On the 99th stroke

The bloody thing broke

And whipped his balls to cream.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

There once was a big bollocksed bull.

Who lived in field near Hull.

He saw a fit cow.

He said "That's my Frau (he was born in Heidleberg).

Relieved coz his ball sack was full.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uffolkbiguy69Man
1 week ago

Newmarket

There was a young player for Tottenham

His manners he’d truly forgotten them

One day during chants

He took off his pants

Explaining he wanted to be shot of them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *3versMan
1 week ago

glasgow

Alison

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *un only 69Man
1 week ago

Belfast

[Removed by poster at 13/04/26 22:59:56]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *un only 69Man
1 week ago

Belfast

There was a young woman from Wigan

Who had one big tit and one littlen

To make up for the loss

She had a cunt like a horse

And a fart like a 650 Norton………😂

Some men die by the sword

Others by the pistol

But by Christ I’d like to die between a ladies bristols……………….😂

There was a guy from Guyana

Who like to play the piano

His finger slipped and pulled down his zip

And out popped a hairy banana 😳

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

Einstein, Hawkin and Babbage.

We're tasked to experiment on a cabbage.

Einstein found numbers prime.

Hawkin discovered warped time.

And Babbage said "Guys! It's just a fuckin cabbage"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

Thanks for the contributions today guys. Keep them coming. Spent half the day pissing myself 🤣🤪

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iBobOxonMan
1 week ago

Thame/Aylesbury

There was a young man from Tralee,

who got stung on the neck by a wasp

When they asked ‘did it hurt’ he replied ‘ not a bit, it can do it again if it likes’

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

You've missed your calling BiBob 🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

A pissed up guy in Nantucket.

Saw a sheep and thought I'd sure like to fuck it.

All day he'd been drinking.

And then he got thinking.

Could someone please pass me a bucket.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

I once fucked a girl in a cab.

So fat, I felt like Captain Ahab.

As I went down to lick her.

Now I'm not a nit picker.

But her cunt smelt like a donner kebab

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *althazar_LSMan
1 week ago

calne

There once was a man from Venus

A babies arm he had for a penis

His wife he adored

Who could walk no more

Just lay on the bed thank Jesus

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

Went down the park for a suck.

Ran into dishevelled old duck.

I said..(to the duck)...you are quackers.

It latched onto my knackers.

Turns out it didn't like cock...just my luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ral b..Man
1 week ago

There once was a man from Peru..

Whose limericks stopped at line two

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

There once was a man from Tiree.

Whose limericks stopped at line 3.

Whilst scratching his balls.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dstefiMan
1 week ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 14/04/26 21:11:17]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dstefiMan
1 week ago

Solihull

There was a young lad from Bangor

Whose limericks stopped at line four

The unresolved tension

Was too hard to mention ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
1 week ago

Bedford

"There was a young lad from Bangor

Whose limericks stopped at line four

The unresolved tension

Was too hard to mention ..."
well maybe he was put in detention lol x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lokenexdoor2025Man
1 week ago

Ludlow

"There was a young lad from Bangor

Whose limericks stopped at line four

The unresolved tension

Was too hard to mention ...well maybe he was put in detention lol x"

Well done

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

There once was a guy from Porthmadog.

Who had an affair with a haddock.

The wife didn't mind.

And in the end I did find.

That she'd been shagging a horse in the paddock.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndrew SummerMan
1 week ago

Bath

There was a young girl from Devizes,

Who had tits of varying sizes,

One was quite small,

But she didn't mind at all,

Cos the other was big, and won prizes!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

Once dated a woman with no teeth.

Quite strangely her first name was Keith.

We went straight to bed.

And the back of her head.

Looked just like a map of Broadheath.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
7 days ago

Manchester

I once had a wank in the sea.

Forgot about it for 2 months or 3.

Then from the waves it walked out.

Half human half trout.

And fuck did it look just like me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlos 0511 OP Man
6 days ago

Manchester

There once was a man from Southwick.

Who had an exceptionally large, girthy dick.

Whoever he was shaggin.

Started invariably naggin.

And would have to beat him off with a stick.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephanieSnowTVTV/TS
6 days ago

Rotherham

There once was a man from Nantucket

Who's cock was so long he could suck it

He said with a grin as he came on his chin

If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *3243Man
4 days ago

EDINBURGH

A scream came from the Crypt in St Giles'

Which could be heard for miles and miles

Said the bishop, Good gracious

Has Father Ignatious

Forgotten the vicar's got piles?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *addy DaddycoolMan
4 days ago

Darlington

There was a young chap from Devizes who loved cock of all shapes and all sizes

He'll suck & he'll fuck till you chuck you muck & he sometimes wears funny disguises

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *haneportsMan
4 days ago

portsmouth

A young CD named Davina

Had her legs hanging from a cortina

A woman helped her with makeup

Then offered to shake up

Her life with her hubby called Tina.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ub1973Man
4 days ago

northwest

There was a young fellow called Mick Who strived to write a good limerick The problem he had Which was ever so sad Is that the end would never rhyme

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndsotobedMan
4 days ago

Towcester

Mary had a little bike

It cost about a dollar

Everywhere the front wheel went

The back was sure to follar

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ristolsbMan
3 days ago

Bedminster, Bristol

There was a young woman from Dallas

Used a dynamite stick as a phallus

They found her vagina

In South Carolina

And her arsehole at Buckingham Palace

(Courtesy of The Crown)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust4inchesMan
3 days ago

Shrewsbury

There was a young lady from Bude

Who went for a swim in the nude

A man in a punt

Stuck his pole in ………. the water

And said you can’t swim here it’s private

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust4inchesMan
3 days ago

Shrewsbury

I woke in the middle of night

And decided a Limerick I’d write

But I got writer’s block

So I played with my cock

And the stuff that shot out was all white

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust4inchesMan
3 days ago

Shrewsbury

If you comment on here in the Forum

You get answers that have no decorum

And after a while

You get venom and bile

So I find that it’s best to ignore ‘em

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust4inchesMan
3 days ago

Shrewsbury

If you find that you don’t like this ditty

Just treat it with love and some pity

Don’t spout out some hate

Grab your cock, masturbate

It’s better than just being shitty

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust4inchesMan
3 days ago

Shrewsbury

I don’t have a very big cock

You will laugh in pity and shock

If you undo my buckle

At the size you will chuckle

It deserves to spend time in a lock

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andy XXXMan
3 days ago

Staveley

The Duchess when pouring the tea

Once asked "do you fart when you pee"

I replied with some wit

"Do you burp when you shit"

And I think that one up to me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hitesox100Man
1 day ago

Walsall

There was a fellow from Athlone

who took a leprechaun home

He said to the sprite

you're a bit tight

I'd have been much better off with a gnome

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread