FabGuys.com forum: Soul Destroying

By *mallNcut OP Man
2 days ago

Weymouth

Do any other guys feel soul destroyed after sending out numerous messages to guys on this site and not even getting a single yes please or No thank you? I know I shouldn’t let it get to me however it does and really annoys me. I try 100% to always try and respond to anyone who messages me. I just don’t see it as hard to do. So many think they are too precious on here to have to. Oh unless of course you are gym fit and hung like a horse and under 35, then they are all over you like a rash. IMHO it’s all so very shallow, we should be supporting eachother on here to have the very best experiences available instead of making it all so hard and miserable.

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By *o againMan
2 days ago

swansea ish

Such is fab.. everyone wants cock..but no one meets..

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
2 days ago

Wakefield

I wouldn't go as far as to say soul destroying, but I fully understand where you're coming from. Honestly I feel like this site isn't worth the hassle. I just log in to chat to people and then leave. Trying to get anything else working puts me in a bad mood.

Doesn't help that whenever you try to vent about it, you always get people attacking you for "moaning." As though that's not a completely valid human reaction to what you've gone through.

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By *haneportsMan
2 days ago

portsmouth

OP.

It's not worth the worrying. I get some idiots & fantasists message me & pointlessly late at night too. Some on here haven't got the nous or skills to politely refuse someone. I either ignore them or block them.

I only care about the people I know, my regulars & who actually wants fun.

The rest are just wasting their own time & lives. I hope you have better outcomes on here.

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By *tandbyme555Man
2 days ago

mitcham

So many time wasters. You message each other. Things going great then they stop messaging or disappear. Just move on and enjoy your day

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By *oe_66WFMan
2 days ago

Darton

I tend to give them the benefit of doubt, if they don't reply & have been on, I may nudge them. If still nothing then it's a block.

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By *ake-247Man
2 days ago

Nuneaton

I think it’s more of a secret fantasy for a lot of guys on here, admittedly I love a good sexy chat without arranging a meet. I can always rely on going to a gay/bi sauna if I’m in the mood for cock fun, that way it’s on my terms.

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By *hilmeMan
2 days ago

Bournemouth

Yes I agree with you, trying to find a decent person on here is and always has been a struggle I feel a lot of guys have deep emotional problems along with unfortunate social skills xx

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By *mallNcut OP Man
2 days ago

Weymouth

Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to share your thoughts with me. I agree it’s not worth having a bad day over and to just move on however when you move on to another waste of space it begins to have an impact on you and your wellbeing. Guys wishing you all the best of luck in your future endeavors on here. Thanks again.

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By *ubtitsMan
2 days ago

hyde

Don't overthink things and don't take it personally after over 10 years on this site it is what it is some guys want to chat some want to meet some can't meet.

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By *mudgeMan
2 days ago

NEWBURY

I find that I always try to reply and good if you receive another one back. I usually find if you reply back and it's not what they wanted they go quiet. Win some loose some

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By *rockyMan
2 days ago

Salisbury

If you feel " soul destroyed " there is one solution to repair your soul which you should do .... take yourself off this site. Find other ways of meeting guys.

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
2 days ago

Preston

Some people will look at someone's profile when they receive a message and once read may think to themselves 'I wonder if they will be as vicious in real life' 💁‍♂️

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By *ildwestheroMan
2 days ago

Llandrindod Wells

No reply of any description is rather rude but wouldn't call it soul destroying. I just assume the guy is such an Adonis that he just hasn't had time to reply to the hundreds of messages he has received. I always reply however brief or ridiculous the message.

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By *3versMan
2 days ago

glasgow

No reply is a reply - there's a whole load of people out there who take offence if you say no thanks

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By *nal VersatileMan
2 days ago

Newquay

I take your point, but have to say looking at your profile, you don't really do yourself a favour with your current status and first 2 paragraphs of description. Appreciate the frustration, but I just find some of the words used almost aggressive. Please take this as constructive criticism

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By *ustOneBearMan
2 days ago

Neath

I try and take it in my stride.

You get those who message and disappear and those who on the day of the meet suffer terrible misfortune to themselves, family members, pets and property.

Also replying to some messages is a double edged sword.

Often if you reply with something as non aggressive as “Thanks for your message, however I don’t think we are a good match”. I’d say 7/10 the replies are along the lines of “So you think you’re so fucking lovely yr 2 gud 4 me yer fat ugly cunt”. Or the even more sad “why? I fancy you”.

If someone hasn’t read or understood what I’m looking for and still messages me, why should I waste my time replying for what will be, more likely than not, an abusive response?

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By *orah AliceTV/TS
2 days ago

Sausage City

Agree

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By *tar33Man
2 days ago

North London (outer)

In my experience location is more of a factor than age. I'm in North London which obviously has a larger pool to fish in than Weymouth, where the OP is.

At 68 there's no shortage of younger guys who prefer someone on the mature side.

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By *oltzMan
2 days ago

Ellesmere

Noone owes anyone a reply to a message.

I see a lot of people who share the same viewpoint that's it's rude to not reply but it isn't.

Most guys don't read profiles and when they can't be bothered to read a few words on a profile, why bother reply back?

You can't take no response personally. Just treat it the same as getting a 'no thanks' response.

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By *tar33Man
2 days ago

North London (outer)

"I take your point, but have to say looking at your profile, you don't really do yourself a favour with your current status and first 2 paragraphs of description. Appreciate the frustration, but I just find some of the words used almost aggressive. Please take this as constructive criticism "

It would definitely put me off, the OP needs to take note of this. A decent profile should be welcoming and friendly.

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By *ydia HTV/TS
2 days ago

Ashton Under lyne

My issue with being able to get back to people is the sheer volume of messages I get which is usually around 150 a day with most being questions that are answered in my bio.

So I have to search through everything to find a handful of people I'm interested in as I don't have all day to start/maintain conversations with this many people

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By *reddy1510Man
2 days ago

Preston

You maybe need to change your expectations.

These days no reply = no

I accept that you feel it’s rude not to reply, but on this site, it isn’t.

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By *ake-247Man
2 days ago

Nuneaton

"My issue with being able to get back to people is the sheer volume of messages I get which is usually around 150 a day with most being questions that are answered in my bio.

So I have to search through everything to find a handful of people I'm interested in as I don't have all day to start/maintain conversations with this many people"

Drawback of being so popular on here as you are always high up the list for fabbed pics/vides, must be frustrating and flattering all at the same time.

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By *ld4yngfunMan
2 days ago

Edinburgh

A younger guy contacted me last night.

We exchanged quite a few messages.

He wanted to meet me, at my place, in Edinburgh at 11.00 am today. We agreed on that.

I messaged him at about 9.30 this morning.

All as planned, he would meet me at 11.00am.

It is 1.00pm now & I am still waiting for him.

I have messaged him again, but my messages show as unread, & no replies back from him.Too many guys like him, on this site.

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By *orobi7Man
2 days ago

loughborough

"Do any other guys feel soul destroyed after sending out numerous messages to guys on this site and not even getting a single yes please or No thank you? I know I shouldn’t let it get to me however it does and really annoys me. I try 100% to always try and respond to anyone who messages me. I just don’t see it as hard to do. So many think they are too precious on here to have to. Oh unless of course you are gym fit and hung like a horse and under 35, then they are all over you like a rash. IMHO it’s all so very shallow, we should be supporting eachother on here to have the very best experiences available instead of making it all so hard and miserable."

The vast majority on this site are time wasters.

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By *ryan2000Man
2 days ago

London colney

Most of them wank off B4 the ping pong messages finished ..total fantasist and time wasters no intentions of ever meeting ...

Don't let it get to you ..there loss good luck

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By *ydia HTV/TS
2 days ago

Ashton Under lyne

"My issue with being able to get back to people is the sheer volume of messages I get which is usually around 150 a day with most being questions that are answered in my bio.

So I have to search through everything to find a handful of people I'm interested in as I don't have all day to start/maintain conversations with this many people

Drawback of being so popular on here as you are always high up the list for fabbed pics/vides, must be frustrating and flattering all at the same time. "

Flattering and frustrating definitely. It just makes finding the right person to meet so time consuming

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By *estwillMan
2 days ago

Bracknell

Maybe once they see that you can't accommodate, they don't bother replying as they can't accommodate either? Unless you only message those who can accommodate.

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By *ld4yngfunMan
2 days ago

Edinburgh

My messages to guys, always say I CAN accommodate.

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By *ake-247Man
2 days ago

Nuneaton

"My issue with being able to get back to people is the sheer volume of messages I get which is usually around 150 a day with most being questions that are answered in my bio.

So I have to search through everything to find a handful of people I'm interested in as I don't have all day to start/maintain conversations with this many people

Drawback of being so popular on here as you are always high up the list for fabbed pics/vides, must be frustrating and flattering all at the same time.

Flattering and frustrating definitely. It just makes finding the right person to meet so time consuming "

You may already know but you can block all incoming messages in the message filter settings, once you initiate contact they can message you back. Hope that helps x

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By *upertedMan
2 days ago

Nelson

It's like throwing wet toilet paper at the wall. Some of it will stick.

You gotta remember they're all at home in their own armchairs, kind of the castle, and is often why they don't reply.

However...I would add...take the time...the meets you do eventually secure will be ace.

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By *ydia HTV/TS
2 days ago

Ashton Under lyne

"My issue with being able to get back to people is the sheer volume of messages I get which is usually around 150 a day with most being questions that are answered in my bio.

So I have to search through everything to find a handful of people I'm interested in as I don't have all day to start/maintain conversations with this many people

Drawback of being so popular on here as you are always high up the list for fabbed pics/vides, must be frustrating and flattering all at the same time.

Flattering and frustrating definitely. It just makes finding the right person to meet so time consuming

You may already know but you can block all incoming messages in the message filter settings, once you initiate contact they can message you back. Hope that helps x"

I have 4 of the filters on which has helped but still really unmanageable

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By *itledickMan
2 days ago

northampton

you said;

So many think they are too precious on here to have to. Oh unless of course you are gym fit and hung like a horse and under 35, then they are all over you like a rash. IMHO

well, as a 68 year old, with a cock like a button mushroom and being WAAAAAY past gym fit, what pisses me off is when people dont read my profile.

i try to make it clear that i only want over 50s, who like fatties, but seem to get more under 30s than anything.

when you have grandkids that age it seems a bit creepy to me.

also h* txtspk!

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By *ose_QuartzTV/TS
2 days ago

Berkshire

As someone else has already mentioned buts it’s true. Everything what I want and don’t want is clearly stated in my bio however I still get tonnes of messages every day most of which are from people who don’t read what I’m looking for and it would take a month of Sundays replying back, and more often than not you get abuse for politely saying “no thanks “ I guess it’s all part of the territory…..

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By *ake-247Man
2 days ago

Nuneaton

"You may already know but you can block all incoming messages in the message filter settings, once you initiate contact they can message you back. Hope that helps x

I have 4 of the filters on which has helped but still really unmanageable "

In that case may I suggest a secretary 😂 DM me if you would like to carry on chatting so we don’t go off topic on this thread x

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By *ewbiestokeMan
2 days ago

Stoke-on-Trent

This

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By *rockyMan
2 days ago

Salisbury

SmallNcut ... your profile refers to others as jerks and hypocrites .. no wonder people ignore you ... you sound way way too angry. Not a good look.

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By *erscumdumpMan
2 days ago

Watford & Worth Matravers

Remove the 1st, 2nd and last paragraph on your profile and your experience here may well change.

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By *exualCumeleonMan
2 days ago

Birmingham

Your interests come off as an angry rant, you have some good pics and some rubbish ones, I don't think the age is a problem as I am older and get plenty of offers. The big problems you have are cannot accommodate and bottom only, the ratio of top/bottom on this site is huge. New pics, positive interests you will do much better because no one wants to meet a moaner.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
2 days ago

Bristol

Your bio is hostile... It's not arousing, exciting or welcoming.

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By *ampantSlutteryMan
2 days ago

Worthing

Your profile needs a lot of work

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By *ercury twoMan
2 days ago

Chippenham

It used to bother me when I first joined. But now I don't give a fuck

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By *55uk4yngrMan
2 days ago

Chester

Good manners cost nothing!

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
2 days ago

Wakefield

Take what I'm saying with a grain of salt, but there are a few easy things you can do to improve your profile and chances.

1. Cut anything negative from your bio. I feel like most people won't even bother reading a profile at all, but those that do will be put off.

2. Shorten your profile. Be as concise as possible. Similar point as above really. You want to be getting all the important info across as quickly as possible.

3. Take better photos. This is not a criticism of you or your appearance, just the photos themselves. Better lighting, framing, etc, works wonders.

4. Be able to accommodate. I know, this is a tricky one. But being able to do this makes it easier for you whether a meet goes through or not. After all, if a guy doesn't show, you didn't even need to leave the house, right?

Hope this all helps.

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
2 days ago

Wakefield

"My issue with being able to get back to people is the sheer volume of messages I get which is usually around 150 a day with most being questions that are answered in my bio.

So I have to search through everything to find a handful of people I'm interested in as I don't have all day to start/maintain conversations with this many people

Drawback of being so popular on here as you are always high up the list for fabbed pics/vides, must be frustrating and flattering all at the same time.

Flattering and frustrating definitely. It just makes finding the right person to meet so time consuming

You may already know but you can block all incoming messages in the message filter settings, once you initiate contact they can message you back. Hope that helps x

I have 4 of the filters on which has helped but still really unmanageable "

I don't get anywhere near as many messages as that, but I still get enough that it was becoming a full time job to reply to them all. That's why I hide my profile. I keep meaning to unhide it but every time I do, bam, dozens of messages. And if one message out of those is from someone who actually read the profile, it's like finding a speck of gold lmao.

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By *ub4daddyukMan
2 days ago

Warminster

"My issue with being able to get back to people is the sheer volume of messages I get which is usually around 150 a day with most being questions that are answered in my bio.

So I have to search through everything to find a handful of people I'm interested in as I don't have all day to start/maintain conversations with this many people

Drawback of being so popular on here as you are always high up the list for fabbed pics/vides, must be frustrating and flattering all at the same time.

Flattering and frustrating definitely. It just makes finding the right person to meet so time consuming

You may already know but you can block all incoming messages in the message filter settings, once you initiate contact they can message you back. Hope that helps x

I have 4 of the filters on which has helped but still really unmanageable

But what if that man of your dreams passed you by as you're hidden?

I say man but you might be after TV...who knows 😉

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
2 days ago

Bedford

My Male box is always full xx

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
2 days ago

Wakefield

"My issue with being able to get back to people is the sheer volume of messages I get which is usually around 150 a day with most being questions that are answered in my bio.

So I have to search through everything to find a handful of people I'm interested in as I don't have all day to start/maintain conversations with this many people

Drawback of being so popular on here as you are always high up the list for fabbed pics/vides, must be frustrating and flattering all at the same time.

Flattering and frustrating definitely. It just makes finding the right person to meet so time consuming

You may already know but you can block all incoming messages in the message filter settings, once you initiate contact they can message you back. Hope that helps x

I have 4 of the filters on which has helped but still really unmanageable

But what if that man of your dreams passed you by as you're hidden?

I say man but you might be after TV...who knows 😉

I know you're just being playful here but honestly I don't think that man actually exists. Truth is, I find using this site overwhelming and the process of trying to meet anyone, hell, even talk to them, demoralising and frustrating. I'd rather not do something I know will put me in a bad mood, so I don't bother. Fair play to guys who can suffer through all the bullshit but I can't.

You're probably now wondering why I even have an account. Well I was using it just to chat to people. I was also attempting to get some guys to talk to me offsite but have had no real luck with that despite them agreeing to do it. Which confirms my suspicion they were always just stringing me along.

Sorry for the long, melancholy response. Just how I feel.

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By *im le2Man
1 day ago

aylestone leic

This is funny.

Before complaining try looking at your profile. I've read most of the posts and looked at the profiles. You've got blank ones some hidden. Some with pics that are a turn off. I'm 70 yo no oil painting. Have a small dick. Chubby plus I'm honest and try to be fun.

I could sit hear and complain all-day but what's the point. I know most guys chat later at night early morning just because there in bed alone and need a wank. And as soon as they cum they disappear. We should all know that. Just because you like the look of someone doesn't Meen they want you. I try to reply to all the text I get but most are just not worth it. Plus I gave up blind dates when camera phones came out. If you can't get a full body naked photo how are you going to get naked if we meet.

We might think just because have a dick and ass everyone will want us. But I'm sorry your not what I'm looking for. My profile says what I'm looking for what I want and what I'm willing to do. If you still send a message and your not my type why should I answer.

And I'm sorry but if you keep complaining and critasiszimg nobody will be interested.

And yeah Evan at my age I still get meets when I want it.

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By *teelballsMan
1 day ago

orpington

"No reply is a reply - there's a whole load of people out there who take offence if you say no thanks "

Exactly so. The only people worth bothering about are the ones who send you an interesting reply. I delete every message i send as soon as i send it and then generally forget i ever did.

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By *ubsissyforuMan
1 day ago

nr Bourne lincs

All this site is now is lookers and big talkers and pic fabbers. I can't find any gen in the sth lincs area 😢

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
1 day ago

Wakefield

Seems to me this site is similar to a straight hookup/dating site. There's a huge gulf between the people who are regularly successful on it and those who aren't. And, just as on a straight site, any time anyone tries to say anything about this you always get people saying "Well I'm doing fine, it's just a you problem" despite it being a problem for countless users across countless demographics.

Meeting people using a website that reduces human connection to a meat market is fundamentally unnatural. No wonder it makes so many of us feel like shit, it's antithetical to how human interaction is supposed to work.

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By *oundmyarse1970Man
1 day ago

South norwood

If if I don't get a meeting I'd be happy with a chat dirty or other wise xxx

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By *tar33Man
1 day ago

North London (outer)

"Seems to me this site is similar to a straight hookup/dating site. There's a huge gulf between the people who are regularly successful on it and those who aren't. And, just as on a straight site, any time anyone tries to say anything about this you always get people saying "Well I'm doing fine, it's just a you problem" despite it being a problem for countless users across countless demographics.

However people haven't just said "Well I'm doing fine, it's just a you problem", they've offered useful, constructive advice.

In spite of this the OP has made no changes, and has posted a similarly antagonistic status update just a few hours ago. Some people just can't be helped.

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By *loverfieldMan
1 day ago

Dalton-in-Furness, Cumbria

I don’t reply to all messages.

Bad English and/or a clear disregard for what is written on my profile do cancel out any obligation on my part to respond.

Saying that, sometimes last year I received a message from an eloquent man who looked good, but wasn't yet verified.

I don't normally entertain unverified profiles, but I made an exception and met him.

He turned out to be a diamond, just as his messages had led me to believe. We met again, and will meet again soon.

So if I had been as negative in my thinking as the OP is, I would have missed out on meeting one of the nicest people I have met on here.

My way of filtering messages pays off for me.

The OP just has to find their way.

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
1 day ago

Wakefield

However people haven't just said "Well I'm doing fine, it's just a you problem", they've offered useful, constructive advice.

In spite of this the OP has made no changes, and has posted a similarly antagonistic status update just a few hours ago. Some people just can't be helped."

I'm not saying that's the only feedback he got. I myself gave decent advice he didn't act upon. But I do notice a lot of replies on threads like this ultimately boil down to some variation of "stop moaning, if I can do it so can you" which ignores the personal context of whoever is complaining.

In the case of OP, yeah, he could do with not using his profile to rant about other users.

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By *oodpeckerMan
1 day ago

Falkirk

So many seem unable to grasp that negativity and anger is, largely, unattractive

Wallowing in it is also anything but helpful to a sense of wellbeing.

Moaning publicly, I suspect, is unlikely to increase the likelihood of successful hookups

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
1 day ago

Wakefield

"So many seem unable to grasp that negativity and anger is, largely, unattractive

Wallowing in it is also anything but helpful to a sense of wellbeing.

Moaning publicly, I suspect, is unlikely to increase the likelihood of successful hookups

At this point it's obvious that OP doesn't care. Whether he vents or not he's not getting what he wants from the site so hey, why not vent?

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By *oodpeckerMan
1 day ago

Falkirk

"So many seem unable to grasp that negativity and anger is, largely, unattractive

Wallowing in it is also anything but helpful to a sense of wellbeing.

Moaning publicly, I suspect, is unlikely to increase the likelihood of successful hookups

At this point it's obvious that OP doesn't care. Whether he vents or not he's not getting what he wants from the site so hey, why not vent?"

Vicious circles spring to mind

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
1 day ago

Wakefield

"So many seem unable to grasp that negativity and anger is, largely, unattractive

Wallowing in it is also anything but helpful to a sense of wellbeing.

Moaning publicly, I suspect, is unlikely to increase the likelihood of successful hookups

At this point it's obvious that OP doesn't care. Whether he vents or not he's not getting what he wants from the site so hey, why not vent?

Vicious circles spring to mind

Sure. A difficult thing to get free from.

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By *airythighs61Man
1 day ago

North Norfolk

Living in Norfolk !!!

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By *ub4daddyukMan
1 day ago

Warminster

"My issue with being able to get back to people is the sheer volume of messages I get which is usually around 150 a day with most being questions that are answered in my bio.

So I have to search through everything to find a handful of people I'm interested in as I don't have all day to start/maintain conversations with this many people

Drawback of being so popular on here as you are always high up the list for fabbed pics/vides, must be frustrating and flattering all at the same time.

Flattering and frustrating definitely. It just makes finding the right person to meet so time consuming

You may already know but you can block all incoming messages in the message filter settings, once you initiate contact they can message you back. Hope that helps x

I have 4 of the filters on which has helped but still really unmanageable

But what if that man of your dreams passed you by as you're hidden?

I say man but you might be after TV...who knows 😉

Sorry for the long, melancholy response. Just how I feel. "

Don't worry about it

There's another thread... something like "why are you here' where people are having similar thoughts. They're easy to have.

BUT

It might be easy to say but it is partly a case of not taking things personally on a site like this. It's a hookup site, men are involved, who lets be honest are horny dogs, and it's anonymous. There's going to be lots of shite along with the good.

Perhaps some, yourself? The OP? might find including other avenues.

I'm just throwing ideas out there..

Try saunas, I can't remember who but there was someone on here saying he went to one that had a nice bar and food and he got chatting to guys with no pressure.

Gay holiday placed...I can only think of the Rosebay place

Try some social gay groups in the area if there are any, naturists? anything

Search out the forums for activities you might be interested in? There's always ones up for people into camping, fishing, motorbikes, or an event being held for example

Start a thread for something you like?

There are other sites that may work better, there's a UK site for older guys for example (and their admirers)

Might be rubbish ideas

All I'm saying is for some people, if the site doesn't seem to be working or is effecting them, I wouldn't leave here, but perhaps investigate some other possible ways of meeting like minded guys.

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By *umboy321.Man
1 day ago

Nearby

It's no different to any other way of meeting ppl, some lose interest in you and vice versa, just move onto someone else, plenty of fish out there just waiting for that bear to grab me lol

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
1 day ago

Wakefield

"My issue with being able to get back to people is the sheer volume of messages I get which is usually around 150 a day with most being questions that are answered in my bio.

So I have to search through everything to find a handful of people I'm interested in as I don't have all day to start/maintain conversations with this many people

Drawback of being so popular on here as you are always high up the list for fabbed pics/vides, must be frustrating and flattering all at the same time.

Flattering and frustrating definitely. It just makes finding the right person to meet so time consuming

You may already know but you can block all incoming messages in the message filter settings, once you initiate contact they can message you back. Hope that helps x

I have 4 of the filters on which has helped but still really unmanageable

But what if that man of your dreams passed you by as you're hidden?

I say man but you might be after TV...who knows 😉

Sorry for the long, melancholy response. Just how I feel.

Don't worry about it

There's another thread... something like "why are you here' where people are having similar thoughts. They're easy to have.

BUT

Perhaps some, yourself? The OP? might find including other avenues.

I'm just throwing ideas out there..

Try saunas, I can't remember who but there was someone on here saying he went to one that had a nice bar and food and he got chatting to guys with no pressure.

Gay holiday placed...I can only think of the Rosebay place

Try some social gay groups in the area if there are any, naturists? anything

Search out the forums for activities you might be interested in? There's always ones up for people into camping, fishing, motorbikes, or an event being held for example

Start a thread for something you like?

There are other sites that may work better, there's a UK site for older guys for example (and their admirers)

Might be rubbish ideas

All I'm saying is for some people, if the site doesn't seem to be working or is effecting them, I wouldn't leave here, but perhaps investigate some other possible ways of meeting like minded guys.

Thanks for being so understanding. I've always had a problem with becoming depressed and demotivated and it seriously hinders my ability to form any kind of relationship. My first instinct is to not bother or run away.

That said I do think the site just isn't for me. It's pretty obvious at this point.

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By *ub4daddyukMan
1 day ago

Warminster

That might not be true but you do have to separate things here.

The only advice I can give to you using this site is, nail down exactly what you are looking for...search search search...try and find a guy who seems to fit and from what they say you seem a good fit for them...if they're a good match then perhaps something happening is more likely.

That's not how I approach things exactly but for some perhaps it's a better way.

The other thing to think about is perhaps there is something else going on in people's lives and the way things are felt here is part of a wider issue

There are help lines out there and people's local GP services to start with. Perhaps some might find checking in with those services helpful?

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
23 hours ago

Wakefield

"That might not be true but you do have to separate things here.

That's not how I approach things exactly but for some perhaps it's a better way.

The other thing to think about is perhaps there is something else going on in people's lives and the way things are felt here is part of a wider issue

There are help lines out there and people's local GP services to start with. Perhaps some might find checking in with those services helpful?

Thanks again. Honestly I'm not really sure what I actually want, and I tend to get skittish and easily put off. I've told myself I'm gonna delete my account 3 or 4 times now and never end up actually doing it.

As for that last part, I already went to therapy. Only helpful for as long as I went to it. Didn't take long after being discharged to start feeling the same. I think it's just my personality tbh.

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By *ub4daddyukMan
23 hours ago

Warminster

Perhaps check in with the GP?

I think knowing what you want is a big part of finding being here fulfilling, so perhaps that needs some careful thought.

Have a think about the other things I mentioned to try connecting with guys.

Not perfect ideas but hopefully in the ball park of ways to connect with no pressure.

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By *mallNcut OP Man
23 hours ago

Weymouth

"If you feel " soul destroyed " there is one solution to repair your soul which you should do .... take yourself off this site. Find other ways of meeting guys."

Oh do shut up you fool.

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By *erdyGirl99TV/TS
23 hours ago

North East

"No reply is a reply - there's a whole load of people out there who take offence if you say no thanks "

This

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
23 hours ago

Wakefield

"Perhaps check in with the GP?

I think knowing what you want is a big part of finding being here fulfilling, so perhaps that needs some careful thought.

Have a think about the other things I mentioned to try connecting with guys.

Not perfect ideas but hopefully in the ball park of ways to connect with no pressure."

Will do, thanks.

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By *arcus BezzantMan
23 hours ago

North Ayrshire

Yes!

I've left Grindr a few days ago for exactly this reason.

Been on this since 2011, but just hanging on because I actually enjoy the debates on the forum, and I don't want to lose my hard won verifications, lol!

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By *ub4daddyukMan
23 hours ago

Warminster

There's been a few ideas put out there for people to think about

I would also advise getting rid of those first two paragraphs

Just not very welcoming no matter where the frustration is coming from.

In fact as hard to comprehend it might actually attract some twat to mess you about.

Someone might be after a connection sensual intimacy friendship, or a quick fuck or blow, but they still need to give a sense of being approachable.

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By *mallNcut OP Man
23 hours ago

Weymouth

Thanks everyone for the praise and criticism whether constructive or not. I’ve made some changes so thanks again.

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By *atureTransTV/TS
22 hours ago

Waterlooville

Before anyone on the site sends a message to another on the site, they should read the profile of the person they are messaging.

Your profile is you, what you want sexually, age, type of sex, men or tv/ts, top, bottom, versatile or oral.

Before anyone sends a message they should make sure their message matches the requirements of the person they are writing to, or they may well not get a reply.

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By *tar33Man
22 hours ago

North London (outer)

"Thanks everyone for the praise and criticism whether constructive or not. I’ve made some changes so thanks again."

It's looking a lot better already.

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By *ub4daddyukMan
19 hours ago

Warminster

"Thanks everyone for the praise and criticism whether constructive or not. I’ve made some changes so thanks again."

Getting rid of that first bit has made such a change to the vibe!

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By *oodpeckerMan
17 hours ago

Falkirk

"Thanks everyone for the praise and criticism whether constructive or not. I’ve made some changes so thanks again.

Getting rid of that first bit has made such a change to the vibe!

Indeed, and I'd suggest rotating profile pic, to start off the right way (up) 👀

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By *londebiguyMan
15 hours ago

near Southport

It's not that important

There are more serious things in life to think about.

I don't do so badly and I try not to take it seriously or get worked up about it.

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By *londebiguyMan
15 hours ago

near Southport

"If you feel " soul destroyed " there is one solution to repair your soul which you should do .... take yourself off this site. Find other ways of meeting guys.

Oh do shut up you fool."

To be honest, it's a fair point there.

If you feel that it really is getting you down then it's definitely not worth that.

I sometimes take a break from things for a few days and it does reset you a little.

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By *lackbootzMan
14 hours ago

Hayes, Middx

“So, what have we learned today, children?! Ranting angrily and frothing rabidly on your profile that everyone on the site is a cunt does not actually lead you to have better interactions and more potential meets. Wallowing in self-pity and self-doubt on the Forum does not make you more alluring to other men. Specious venting that the site is pointless and full of time-wasters does not enhance your experience. Let’s see if some of us can remember these lessons all the way into next week!”

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By *rockyMan
10 hours ago

Salisbury

Nice one Blackbootz

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By *IPMANMan
10 hours ago

West London

The only way to view sites of this nature is to remember the old adage "a prick in the hand is worth 2 in the bush"

Saunas make life easier but there are time wasters and picky bastards there too. I sometimes wonder exactly who it is they are looking for....

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By *ammy aka SammyTV/TS
10 hours ago

Bedford

"The only way to view sites of this nature is to remember the old adage "a prick in the hand is worth 2 in the bush"

Saunas make life easier but there are time wasters and picky bastards there too. I sometimes wonder exactly who it is they are looking for...."
spot on I often go saunas and some guys just walk around like their looking for something they've lost xx

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By *lphageminiMan
10 hours ago

Folkestone

I go to a sauna often and it amuses me that on naked days idiots still hold a towel in front of their cocks. What the fuck do they think the place is for? Polite converstion perhaps? That can't be, no brain cells present!! Still the best place to get fucked a few times.

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By *rockyMan
9 hours ago

Salisbury

NIPMAN ... yes I am "picky". I can afford to be .. cant you ?

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By *hamsMan
9 hours ago

Abbey Wood

This is fuck up.The same me,sent a lot msg but most of them is negative answers.But still fingers crossed maybe someone respond to my wishes.

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By *addies Boy96Man
7 hours ago

Rhebogue,Limerick

"Such is fab.. everyone wants cock..but no one meets.. "

The issue is no one accoms

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
7 hours ago

Wakefield

I find the moaning about OP's moaning to be far more insufferable than anything OP actually said. Just let the guy vent ffs. For all the talk of "if you don't like the site, just leave," I can't help but notice nobody misses a chance to scold users like OP for daring to feel bad in public.

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
7 hours ago

Wakefield

"Such is fab.. everyone wants cock..but no one meets..

The issue is no one accoms"

Yeah I agree. If I could accom I'd have had more luck by now. Ultimately the majority of users won't even read OP's profile. He could have written "I have a dozen bodies buried in my garden" and he'd still have people messaging him based purely on availability and his pfp. If he could accom he'd be sorted.

Issue then is finding a quality meet, not just some random scrote.

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
7 hours ago

Wakefield

Could be any number of reasons why a person is picky in a sauna. Could be new and nervous, have a certain type, have something on their mind etc. Might just want to watch, or get there with the intent of having sex but losing interest when they get there.

Everyone tells me saunas are chill and laidback but the comments on this thread about it almost make it seem like there's an obligation to do what others want whether you want to or not. That honestly creeps me out.

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By *lackbootzMan
6 hours ago

Hayes, Middx

"I find the moaning about OP's moaning to be far more insufferable than anything OP actually said. Just let the guy vent ffs. For all the talk of "if you don't like the site, just leave," I can't help but notice nobody misses a chance to scold users like OP for daring to feel bad in public."

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” The same users, bemoaning the same things again and again in the Forum, whilst not altering their behaviour one iota, is a definition of insanity.

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By *hyguybiMan
6 hours ago

preston

I hate it when u get a wink then u send messages then all off sudden u get blocked

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By *lackbootzMan
6 hours ago

Hayes, Middx

"Could be any number of reasons why a person is picky in a sauna. Could be new and nervous, have a certain type, have something on their mind etc. Might just want to watch, or get there with the intent of having sex but losing interest when they get there.

When you’ve met your first man for sex, let alone attended your first sauna, your verdicts will carry more weight.

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By *om Tom ABC99Man
6 hours ago

Murcia., Spain.

Yes. There is indeed some very strange behaviour on here.

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
5 hours ago

Wakefield

Except OP did act on the advice given.

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
5 hours ago

Wakefield

When you’ve met your first man for sex, let alone attended your first sauna, your verdicts will carry more weight. "

Everything I said is either common sense, or opinion. I forgot I'm not allowed to have those on here.

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By *lackbootzMan
5 hours ago

Hayes, Middx

When you’ve met your first man for sex, let alone attended your first sauna, your verdicts will carry more weight.

Everything I said is either common sense, or opinion. I forgot I'm not allowed to have those on here."

Not everything you say is “common sense”. Though you are perfectly entitled to believe so. Similarly you are perfectly entitled to give your opinions on any matter whatsoever. Which indeed you have above. You told us a number of things and types of behaviour you don’t like. But you also don’t seem to like other people who don’t agree with your opinions. You’ll have to deal with the fact you have to share a site with others who don’t agree and might question your views. Views from people with experience in subject X are always more meaningful than those with no experience in subject X. That is not a controversial principle. Being lectured on sauna etiquette and “creepy” behaviour by someone who has yet to meet a man for sex or ever attended a sauna, I find faintly absurd. But that’s just my *opinion*.

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
4 hours ago

Wakefield

When you’ve met your first man for sex, let alone attended your first sauna, your verdicts will carry more weight.

Everything I said is either common sense, or opinion. I forgot I'm not allowed to have those on here.

I can't be arsed with being condescended to and having my points misconstrued by you for the millionth time. For whatever reason you obviously don't like me. You said as much when you called me a brat. I'd get banned if I said what I actually want to say. So let's just cut the shit and not derail OP's thread any further.

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By *mallNcut OP Man
4 hours ago

Weymouth

When you’ve met your first man for sex, let alone attended your first sauna, your verdicts will carry more weight.

Everything I said is either common sense, or opinion. I forgot I'm not allowed to have those on here.

Guys just agree to disagree and move on, it don’t matter if you agree with eachother.

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By *ubguyinbriefsMan
4 hours ago

Dublin

To be honest if people don't reply doesn't bother me as I understand I am not for them.

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By *rancd2TV/TS
4 hours ago

Wolverhampton

I’ll tell you what is soul destroying.

People hijacking a thread, and then spending most of it arguing between each other on a point that’s irrelevant.

It happens again and again !!

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By *mallNcut OP Man
4 hours ago

Weymouth

I’ve had so many thank you’s off guys frustrated with the poor etiquette on here and how they liked what I said, more so than negative. I have acted on the negative criticism I received and made changes. Thanks everyone for your input.

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By *ames canMan
4 hours ago

monaghan

There is no etiquette on here...no reply is a reply. If you send a message, it's read,and they don't reply...block and delete....and forgot about it.

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By *mallNcut OP Man
4 hours ago

Weymouth

"I’ll tell you what is soul destroying.

People hijacking a thread, and then spending most of it arguing between each other on a point that’s irrelevant.

It happens again and again !!

They are entitled to their opinion tho and it’s good to debate issues. What I do know is you want often change the person with the opposing view. People criticized me and my profile and to be honest after looking at some of there’s I thought they had a damned cheek. However it’s all subjective isn’t it? You can’t please everyone all of the time and I don’t want to, I just wish people were kinder and more thoughtful about responding it’s that simple in the end, none of the trolls, haters or naysayers are going to sway my opinion on that. If someone takes time to put a message together for you then a simple no thanks isn’t really that hard to do. If you do get 150 messages a day like someone claimed then copy and paste the response, see even easier.

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By *mallNcut OP Man
4 hours ago

Weymouth

"There is no etiquette on here...no reply is a reply. If you send a message, it's read,and they don't reply...block and delete....and forgot about it. "

That’s YOUR opinion and thankfully not shared by every one else on here. Some of us do believe in responding it’s that simple.

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By *iassloverMan
4 hours ago

Rugby

"My issue with being able to get back to people is the sheer volume of messages I get which is usually around 150 a day with most being questions that are answered in my bio.

So I have to search through everything to find a handful of people I'm interested in as I don't have all day to start/maintain conversations with this many people"

That's fair. You do put up great pictures though.

Another one I've found is some of them are from bloody miles away. And on a work night.

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By *iassloverMan
4 hours ago

Rugby

When you’ve met your first man for sex, let alone attended your first sauna, your verdicts will carry more weight.

Everything I said is either common sense, or opinion. I forgot I'm not allowed to have those on here."

Common sense not being permitted is all the more reason to use it in my experience.

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By *iassloverMan
4 hours ago

Rugby

[Removed by poster at 19/05/26 12:58:26]

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By *hyguy62Man
3 hours ago

Brentwood

I always reply to my messages. Sometimes though I do get overwhelmed by the amount that I get and it takes me a while to get through them all, but I do my best xx

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By *oodpeckerMan
33 minutes ago

Falkirk

"I’ve had so many thank you’s off guys frustrated with the poor etiquette on here and how they liked what I said, more so than negative. I have acted on the negative criticism I received and made changes. Thanks everyone for your input."

IMO, the changes you've made (especially the 'correct' orientation of your profile pic 😉) are positive/improvements and will hopefully improve your experiences on this site. However, you may be on a hiding to nothing (I suspect you'd feel better if you ditched the expectation) if you expect replies to every message: it is indeed, potentially, wholly impractical/not possible to reply to messages

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By *iassloverMan
14 minutes ago

Rugby

To be fair your profile doesn't come off as too overly aggressive now so hopefully you'll find some fun. Ultimately it depends who's on at any given time, you could have 100 guys who aren't your type, you aren't theirs or they're 100 miles away. Idxsay just treat the forums as a social gathering and come across as approachable and then meets might pick up a bit.

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By *uriousAboutCock1996Man
10 minutes ago

Wakefield

"To be fair your profile doesn't come off as too overly aggressive now so hopefully you'll find some fun. Ultimately it depends who's on at any given time, you could have 100 guys who aren't your type, you aren't theirs or they're 100 miles away. Idxsay just treat the forums as a social gathering and come across as approachable and then meets might pick up a bit. "

That's my issue. I'm not free often enough to make looking for meets viable. Last few times I gave it an honest go, I wasted the whole day trying and then it's like, oops, not free again for weeks because of work/friends/I don't spend every waking moment thinking about gay sex and sometimes I'm just not bothered. After a point it got too tedious so I stopped. Might start again if my situation changes.

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